Yup, Roger, Helen and Mischief have got it right. Here is vote 3.
I'm always suspicious of ''I don't want to sleep with you ever again but I still.... etc etc." No you don't. It's over and you know it but you're a) concerned about the children, b) concerned about the finances or c) sh*t-scared of being alone.
Jezzay
Ok, guys & gals. Here is a TRUE story.
I was in the position of having a marriage that I considered was relatively sexless. Indeed it did not give the sexual satisfaction I required.
So, I went to an escort, in fact quite a few. Eventually, my concience got the better of me and I went to my wife and tried to explain that I needed help in overcoming the problem.
She said she could have understood if I was having an affair, but could not understand my need for raw sex. She said she would have been happy being oblivious to my goings on.
The result is we are now split up, hence my being on this site looking for new friends.
I now that most of you will now not talk to me, that is life. I have messed it up enough, a little more will not hurt.
Short on time. This scenario has opened both our minds....our main reason for being here.
Still confused though, we both believe that sex isn`t the most important thing in the world (in other words there are far worse/better ways to hurt /pleasureyour partner) however doing the one thing that you know would crush your partner is simply not on. The bit we now can`t quite accept is the suggestion that a married person playing away is a worse crime than the partner denying sex.
Feel especially sorry for baldy . I (m) could probably handle my partner having a deceitful one night stand easier than finding that she had been lunching with someone for 12 months without any sex whatsoever. This is because I couldnt handle her connecting with someone else on a higher spiritual level than one that exists already between us..
Excellent thread though.
Foxys x
I have to say, I told my wife within three months of starting to go seeing escorts. It was like a drug, I needed help and the only friend & confidant I had was my wife.
Alas, no more.
I was hoping for help from her, at least to "fly off the handle" and try and help pull me back in line.
Stupid I know, and I suppose I was hoping for an ideal situation that would help me.
Her response was to say that she could no longer live with me, as she considered what I had done was dirty and was as bad a someone, in her eyes.
The silly thing is, she says she still loves me and I love her.
There is no reconciliation possible.
At the moment, the world has stopped for me, and I want to get off.
Sorry Roger, this really relates to a number of threads on here about cheating, single males being treated different to couples and so on.
As the poll seems to suggest cheating descreetly is the favoured option, I am just saying that onyone who cheats is doing it of their own valition and no one else should judge them.
My mind is in a little turmoil at the moment.
I vote option number 4 aswell.
That now makes 6
I believe that it needs a certain selfish streak to enjoy oneself. Also that looking after number one means you are more capable of looking after others. You need to feed your soul as well as your partner's. If opportunities come your way to enjoy your self, it may be because you deserve it. Why cheat on yourself? I am of the cheat discreetly choice. It offers the chance of pleasure which may not have nasty consequences, unless discovered. Its not fair or justifiable, just practical in some circumstances.
Three votes.
