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A New Guide to Internet Dating
Two of my sisters met (and one of them actually married) men who for the first few months to a year were lovely, friendly gentle guys - only to find that they were actually so scarred by their abusive childhoods that they too became abusers.
Horrendously sad for all concerned, including the men themselves. But this was in real life, so it's the same risk wherever you meet.
Horrendously sad for all concerned, including the men themselves. But this was in real life, so it's the same risk wherever you meet.
one of my very bestest friends in all the world met her now husband on the internet. A lovelier man I have yet to meet.
The reason they were both single is that they are intelligent, ambitious and work in rather solitary careers.
Internet dating works for some people.
Give a murderer an axe and they will use it to kill. Internet dating is no more or less likely to attract strange people than the local nightclub, bar or your place of employ.
The reason they were both single is that they are intelligent, ambitious and work in rather solitary careers.
Internet dating works for some people.
Give a murderer an axe and they will use it to kill. Internet dating is no more or less likely to attract strange people than the local nightclub, bar or your place of employ.
it works for some it does not work for some such is life i guess
on a slightly different note but along the same context i met dek on a phone chat line (in the days before we had tinternet) he could have been a murderer or a madman but luckilly he wasnt to mad and 5 years later we are still together
it was more of a problem for my family who knew how we met and it took a while for them to trust him deks parents think we met in a pub :shock:
on a slightly different note but along the same context i met dek on a phone chat line (in the days before we had tinternet) he could have been a murderer or a madman but luckilly he wasnt to mad and 5 years later we are still together
it was more of a problem for my family who knew how we met and it took a while for them to trust him deks parents think we met in a pub :shock:
Quote by de_sade
BTW I am sure it was not intended in your comment but it does read rather oddly and I would like to go on record as saying categorically that not all child abuse victims become abusers.
Thank you for clarifying that on my behalf. I certainly did not intend to suggest that all child abuse victims become abusers, but that this was the case for my brothers-in-law.
If my post reads as if it's an automatic progression, I apologise.
Quote by de_sade
How many of you out there have either known (personally) of someone, or have themselves fallen for a rather scary, psychotic, sociopathic or emotionally disturbed Internet girl/boy friend or lover?
My ex bf's new woman will soon enough!
I almost got scammed a while back from a dating site. Thankfully the alarm bells rang early on and I managed to 'out' him with the aid of a scammer help group. He turned very nasty when I told him I had logged all our chats and was handing the evidence over to the police. Even though he was in another country, his threats were particularly scary and very very real.
Just pointing out your slight double standards. You say your female friends are single and they use an internet dating site yet you say that the guys they meet on there have obviously got something wrong with them, they're having to resort to internet dating afterall.
If they're single, they're single for a reason. Yes, maybe their partner left them, maybe they were in a car crash, maybe they split up amicably and are normal, well adjusted people.
H.x
If they're single, they're single for a reason. Yes, maybe their partner left them, maybe they were in a car crash, maybe they split up amicably and are normal, well adjusted people.
H.x
Sex God
Quote by LondonPlaything
Try here instead
try as I might, the link won't work...
lpIf your names not down you aint coming in!
I especially liked the quote "If they're single, they're single for a reason" and promptly added it as part of my sig.
quote]
I have to say i actually find that offensive, but then i would as i am single !
Single people of both genders are single for a multitude of reasons, unless i've misread your post, i think it has undertones that indicate that 'all' single people have some sort of 'problem'. That's just not right, or fair and quite frankly offensive!
In my case, i am happily choosing to be single, till that person turns up that i want to be with. I've used the internet to meet people and i've met some amazing (single) men, who i'd otherwise never have met in my day to day life.
Just because someone is married or 'attached' in some way, doesn't mean that they are likely to be less 'weird' than some sigleton out there!
Love and peace.
Sx
Well Im single and on a dating site!!! :) :)
Single for a reason yes - so what? Who actually cares? Im happy being single at the moment. Ive had the usual crap relationships thats not worth talking or thinking about, haven't many experienced a few of them in their lifetime? However short!
I use a dating site for many reasons.....none of them any other persons business except my own. I dont think there is anything wrong with using one? Or meeting people from internet. Should they be? Ive met some nice peeps over the years... many I still keep in touch with as mates. Just like here!!! :)
Being on an internet dating site, doesn't mean your always looking for a partner, in earnest. I have a good time going out meeting people and have some adventures along the way. Think Im a serial dater, I have some great laughs and met some fascinating people
:lol:
If people are seriously looking for a partner or a LTR, whats wrong with that? Nothing in my eyes...live and let live, just like I expect people to on this internet site.
Only had one scary experience... and it wasnt from a dating site!
:? :?
xanaisx
:) :) Single for a reason yes - so what? Who actually cares? Im happy being single at the moment. Ive had the usual crap relationships thats not worth talking or thinking about, haven't many experienced a few of them in their lifetime? However short!
I use a dating site for many reasons.....none of them any other persons business except my own. I dont think there is anything wrong with using one? Or meeting people from internet. Should they be? Ive met some nice peeps over the years... many I still keep in touch with as mates. Just like here!!! :)
Being on an internet dating site, doesn't mean your always looking for a partner, in earnest. I have a good time going out meeting people and have some adventures along the way. Think Im a serial dater, I have some great laughs and met some fascinating people
:lol: If people are seriously looking for a partner or a LTR, whats wrong with that? Nothing in my eyes...live and let live, just like I expect people to on this internet site.
Only had one scary experience... and it wasnt from a dating site!
:? :? xanaisx
Quote by de_sade
It's connected...sort of.
OK. Just finished reading a Guide to Internet Dating, which was mostly humourous but did have a couple of darker realities thrown in, I suppose, to keep folks alert - and quite rightly so it seems.
I especially liked the quote "If they're single, they're single for a reason" and promptly added it as part of my sig.
The reason being because of several "horror stories" told by female friends (primarily) of mine who have fallen prey to either psychotic or sociopathic friends they "met" on the Internet.
These Internet dates were all single, all charming and as time moved on all totally out of their fucking heads.
Now, Nottingham is a fairly big town (sorry, City) and here are just a handful of people with similar tales to tell, so I was wondering about the bigger picture..?
How many of you out there have either known (personally) of someone, or have themselves fallen for a rather scary, psychotic, sociopathic or emotionally disturbed Internet girl/boy friend or lover?
No names please. Let's keep it within the site rules. But I bet there are more out there than you first imagine...
Over to you.
I wonder how that could possibly have happened.
H.x
I don't think that H is taking it personally.
I am also unable to see any positives in what you have said. You have spoken negatively about single people who use dating sites. Please quote the bits that are positive in what you have said. Your language has been inflammatory, accusatory and downright bloody rude.
I am also unable to see any positives in what you have said. You have spoken negatively about single people who use dating sites. Please quote the bits that are positive in what you have said. Your language has been inflammatory, accusatory and downright bloody rude.
Right I think I have the gist of what is being said so I will say my little piece and go......... De Sade I think the sentence in your sig is offensive!.....Little scenario for you.......Something happens to Stormy, I'm left alone. Now I'm a very busy woman and I work from home and I have two young children also at home with me. My social life would be non existant outside of the house due to heavy work committments and childcare issues as well as there not being enough hours in the day to do the family stuff and the work stuff. My social life would probably be on the internet the same as alot of it it is now but without the added benefit of lots of socials and parties ect etc. I think I am a well balanced person, Intelligent, caring and I hope kind to others. So what I'm saying is that if anything happened to Stormy I would then be one of those people you refer to in your sig and I am offended by it.
Fire xxx
Fire xxx
I'm only taking it personally in the regard that I am single, I do use internet dating sites and therefore you are calling me a 'rather scary, psychotic, sociopathic or emotionally disturbed' person. I don't think you wrote it specifically directed at me, I'm not that egotistical.
The words, ...'if they're single, they're single for a reason' may not have been yours originally but you did state that you 'especially liked the quote'.
You say your initial thread has been mis-read yet fail to expand on what it was you actually meant.
H.x
The words, ...'if they're single, they're single for a reason' may not have been yours originally but you did state that you 'especially liked the quote'.
You say your initial thread has been mis-read yet fail to expand on what it was you actually meant.
H.x
Orgasminator
Quote by dekntan
it works for some it does not work for some such is life i guess
on a slightly different note but along the same context i met dek on a phone chat line (in the days before we had tinternet) he could have been a murderer or a madman but luckilly he wasnt to mad and 5 years later we are still together
:thumbup: Snap Stileto & I met that way it must be the most worth while phone calls I ever made
Quote by sword-stileto
it works for some it does not work for some such is life i guess
on a slightly different note but along the same context i met dek on a phone chat line (in the days before we had tinternet) he could have been a murderer or a madman but luckilly he wasnt to mad and 5 years later we are still together
:thumbup: Snap Stileto & I met that way it must be the most worth while phone calls I ever made
:lol: :lol: tis free for us girlz (or it was then) :giggle: actually for a laugh we went on a couple weeeks ago dek paid up for so many minutes or what ever happens and we went on brought back nice memoirs as it happens I find the whole thing very interesting and would rather see it continue on the forum rather than in PM. You have made some very sweeping and derogatory statements and they have been challenged, it hardly seems fair to hide such an illuminating exchange now that things have taken a turn you are not comfortable with.
As for not needing to expand on what you have said that is of course your choice, but if you have been misread, how are we to know how and why? If you do not want to debate this, why start the thread in the first place
Lastly, look to your own last post and ask yourself if thinly veiled personal comments are doing you any favours.
As for not needing to expand on what you have said that is of course your choice, but if you have been misread, how are we to know how and why? If you do not want to debate this, why start the thread in the first place
Lastly, look to your own last post and ask yourself if thinly veiled personal comments are doing you any favours.
Quote by Stormwalker
I find the whole thing very interesting and would rather see it continue on the forum rather than in PM. You have made some very sweeping and derogatory statements and they have been challenged, it hardly seems fair to hide such an illuminating exchange now that things have taken a turn you are not comfortable with.
As for not needing to expand on what you have said that is of course your choice, but if you have been misread, how are we to know how and why? If you do not want to debate this, why start the thread in the first place
Lastly, look to your own last post and ask yourself if thinly veiled personal comments are doing you any favours.
well said stormy :thumbup:
Forgive me but I think it's you that is taking it personally. If you read my posts there is nothing personally offensive in them. My initial point was that you made a broad sweeping generalisation about single people who use internet dating sites, yet failed to include you friend in this generalisation.
I've not said anything personally offensive to you, I've merely invited a debate which you seem unable to carry out with resorting to personal jibes and at me. I'm not the only one in this thread who has found your statements offensive, I wonder if it's you who is the attention seeker here by being purposefully inflamatory. It's a shame because it's an interesting subject which could have brought up some interesting points.
Let's see if you can reply without making any personally derogative remarks or :roll:
H.x
Quote by H-x
Just pointing out your slight double standards. You say your female friends are single and they use an internet dating site yet you say that the guys they meet on there have obviously got something wrong with them, they're having to resort to internet dating afterall.
Quote by de_sade
or maybe they're all single because they're all ball-busting, possessive fruit-cakes or have personalities that could curdle milk.
Quote by de_sade
Get over yourself, you're giving single people a rather scary edge on all on your own now.
I've not said anything personally offensive to you, I've merely invited a debate which you seem unable to carry out with resorting to personal jibes and
at me. I'm not the only one in this thread who has found your statements offensive, I wonder if it's you who is the attention seeker here by being purposefully inflamatory. It's a shame because it's an interesting subject which could have brought up some interesting points.Let's see if you can reply without making any personally derogative remarks or :roll:
H.x
I dont want to join in the arguement but I really don't understand the statement?
some people are single because their long term partners have died ........... do you mean because they have lost their loved ones there is something wrong with them?
some people are single because they have been really hurt in the past and find it safer to stay single
some people are single because they want to be single
Are you saying that only couples are normal people?
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
some people are single because their long term partners have died ........... do you mean because they have lost their loved ones there is something wrong with them?
some people are single because they have been really hurt in the past and find it safer to stay single
some people are single because they want to be single
Are you saying that only couples are normal people?
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by de_sade
It's connected...sort of.
OK. Just finished reading a Guide to Internet Dating, which was mostly humourous but did have a couple of darker realities thrown in, I suppose, to keep folks alert - and quite rightly so it seems.
I especially liked the quote "If they're single, they're single for a reason" and promptly added it as part of my sig.
The reason being because of several "horror stories" told by female friends (primarily) of mine who have fallen prey to either psychotic or sociopathic friends they "met" on the Internet.
These Internet dates were all single, all charming and as time moved on all totally out of their fucking heads.
Now, Nottingham is a fairly big town (sorry, City) and here are just a handful of people with similar tales to tell, so I was wondering about the bigger picture..?
How many of you out there have either known (personally) of someone, or have themselves fallen for a rather scary, psychotic, sociopathic or emotionally disturbed Internet girl/boy friend or lover?
No names please. Let's keep it within the site rules. But I bet there are more out there than you first imagine...
Over to you.
I wonder how that could possibly have happened.
H.x
Hmmmm...I am concerned that your focus is on all the negatives H-x. You seem to be taking this very personally. It wasn't directed at you.
Though admittedly I did expect more bunny-boilers to pop up than they have. Male and female.
Shall we try to be more objective?
Oh yes, by the way..."if they're single, they're single for a reason" are not my words -
Are you saying that as I (and other singles)who answered this thread are/is a bunny boiler? :shock: :roll:
:? :? :? 