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A question about the site........

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Over the last 2 days I've had 1 e-mail and 2 pm's from regulars who feel that the whole attitude and feeling of the site has changed. So much so that they are seriously considering leaving and they certainly don't post half as much as they did when I joined (which ain't that long ago.). It's not the first time I've heard these rumblings, but it's the first time that it's been said that there's an air of disgruntlement and although nothing has been said directly to them, they get the impression that they're input is no longer needed or that they are no longer welcome.
I know I've said this before, but this is an open forum. Open to anyone and if you don't like someones opinion then either tell them through a PM or live with it and move on.
I must admit that I may be one of the people that has altered the ambiance of the place and I'm not sure it's for better or worse. I must also confess that I did briefly consider leaving myself because the "gilt" of the site had jadad for me a little. A bloody good munch and a delightfull, charming, radiant new member later (for those that haven't guessed it's Countess. Should be on a promise after that creeping :smug: )and I decided to hang around a little longer.
Maybe it's because there are more people about than previously? Or maybe it's down to a younger element with new ideas (well they think). dunno but I do know that for some members, the site has lost it's attraction due to an underlying current of dissent. This I find not only a tragedy, but also very unplesant.
TBH I've not noticed myself (I have a thick skin), but then again I'm a mere youngster here compared to some of the old hands, so I thought I'd offer it up for discussion.
I'll end this post with a request for people to be a little more open with their post, but a little more thoughtfull before they post.
Hi
Hope every one had a fab Bank Holiday Weekend. wink
Thats quite interesting.
Dont think I am in any position to comment on whether or not things have changed as I / We havent been around for all that long.
However your post suggests that thing may have changed - what I would ask is if things have changed is that neccessarily a bad thing.
Change and growth are inevitable things in all areas of life - and they are things that generally (although not always) happen naturally.
If you've ever belonged to a club or organisation for a reasonable ammount of time things are rarely the same as when you first joined - for many reasons inc the fact that it may be you that has changed not the other way around.
Maybe that is what happend to the ppl you referred to - maybe they have changed, who knows???
Dx
please, please, please don't get leaving... I have sat around in the background, reading and learning from you all...my passions have been roused, my knowledge increased...i have been able to challenge myself and get to know myself better...my partner and i have held many conversations and have got to know each other better...and it's all because of the discussions, advice, replies etc from this site....don't be discouraged.. I feel like we're only just getting to know you a little bit. Please stay!!
Most of these points were covered in my thread about the forum,i felt quite a lot of these points at the time were true and quite a lot of people who replied thought the same.
Since then though it has been getting better and i think quite a lot of people have thought a lot more before theyve either started a thread or replied to one.
I have certainly thought a lot more about what i put and have at some points even before my thread tried to liven up or get people discusing things (this dates back as far as clarensteve days).
If people think that it is getting worse on here then they should try and liven it up or put something interesting to get the mood flowing better.
Thats just my sentiment,i'm not trying to get at anyone.
Quote by Steve_Lincs
Most of these points were covered in my thread about the forum,i felt quite a lot of these points at the time were true and quite a lot of people who replied thought the same.
Since then though it has been getting better and i think quite a lot of people have thought a lot more before theyve either started a thread or replied to one.
I have certainly thought a lot more about what i put and have at some points even before my thread tried to liven up or get people discusing things (this dates back as far as clarensteve days).
If people think that it is getting worse on here then they should try and liven it up or put something interesting to get the mood flowing better.
Thats just my sentiment,i'm not trying to get at anyone.

Sorry Steve I must have forgotten about your thread. redface
I'm wondering if things have really changed as I'm still having conversations with people covering this ground, so for some it must still be an issue. that's the reason why I've posted the thread (again apparently confused Still don't remember it confused dunno ).
I personally think that the forum has become a bit of a debating ground recently,and while im all for a good debate every now and then i do feel it gets a bit much sometimes.
I also had a pm along the same lines from a regular on here,but like i said to them,if youve made great friends on here,don't let anything on here that you don't like get in your way!!
I personally think that it has been a bit different in here lately,but when youve got so many people all posting on here,your not going to agree with all the posts or want to reply to them.
But its the whole spectrum of different people that make this forum what it is,without certain ones then it just wouldnt be the same.
Everyones perspective and thoughts are needed here,so to those people feeling like theyre not needed,they really are,but if they feel that strongly that they dont want to stay,then is it fair to try to make them stay if they really dont want to??
Quote by easy
Sorry Steve I must have forgotten about your thread. redface
I'm wondering if things have really changed as I'm still having conversations with people covering this ground, so for some it must still be an issue. that's the reason why I've posted the thread (again apparently confused Still don't remember it confused dunno ).

I think it happened when you were away,it was just before the munch!!
Personally I always put a reasonable amount of thought into my posts.
The reason for this is that most as my opinions seem to be quite inflamatory - and I would be absolutely torn to shreds if I made flippant remarks!!. :shock:
I guess it just depends on what you want to get out of this forum - personally I value the opinions of others (even if I dont agree with them) as they force me to evaluate my own.
And the reason I am here is because I have an interest in swinging - obviously its nice to hear what ppl favourite films are etc etc as you are able to build up a profile / picture of the ppl you are here with - however if I really cared that much then I would be posting in the forum of .!!! wink
Dx
well i can obviously only speak for myself... but i have found that over the last few weeks i have not posted as much as i used to.
i think it has a lot to do with the way the forum has become quite argumentative over the last few weeks.. and less about people having a laugh.. wich was what attracted me to it in the first place,
having said that i still come on to read through the threads posted by people i know and love.. and keep up in pm with peeps (though not as much as i should and with as many people as i should redface ).
heres hoping things calm down again soon.
luv n stuff
WBB
x x x
(((((((((((((( HUGS WBB ))))))))))))))))) :rose:
Quote by well_busty_babe
heres hoping things calm down again soon.
luv n stuff
WBB
x x x

I think that give it a few weeks things will be back to normal bollox,,it is the mad season anyway,as soon as the kids are back at school people will probably chill out
Ack, was probably a bad time for me to add the Admin rant then? Just for the record that wasn`t related to this site. I just wanted to unload amongst friends. smile
Venusxxx
Dear All,
I like the Forum NOW this is due to people writing good stuff that makes people think. At the recent Munch their was a divide between people that use the Forum & Chatroom. I think that as a Forum user the Chatroom everytime I've gone on has been very unfriendly & people are just looking for the attention of a chosen few or for a better example its like a popularity contest w / t me not being with the 'in crowd'.
I think that with the Forum people can understand each other behind just their feelings about Sex hence a deeper understanding occurs. Their are people that use both Forum & Chatroom BUT their is a definite vibe with both.
Am all for Fun & that but I like it when people write good stuff as it shows new members or people that are interested in the lifestyle that Swingers are not just sex crazy but quite normal as this is fact.
Well that's my part,
Dragon de Ecsatcy.
Quote by Steve_Lincs
heres hoping things calm down again soon.
luv n stuff
WBB
x x x

I think that give it a few weeks things will be back to normal bollox,,it is the mad season anyway,as soon as the kids are back at school people will probably chill out
Am I really hearing this?????
Sure there are threads on here that really are quite heated (and there are ppl here that enjoy that)
There are also some very silly whacky threads (ie the who put do in the dowap etc etc) that other people love.
Thats whats great about this forum - the diversity and variety. wink
If you dont like a particular thread then avoid it.
And if you dont like any of the threads - stop moaning and start one you do like!!!!
Dx
there's been a very sour undercurrent for some time! i find myself getting dragged into it and having to delete posts again!. i think much of that's to do with wrong expectations, which can never be fulfilled, and the wrong idea altogether about what this place is, and does!
can only say, if you find the cafe's not to your liking, post like a lunatic, hijack at a ferocious rate of knots, and drag it kicking and screaming back on track! that soooooo many regs i absolutely love aren't posting? well it surrenders what we know and love to those who don't know and don't love it quite so much!
IMHO!
neil x x x ;-)
Quote by surreycouple2003
heres hoping things calm down again soon.
luv n stuff
WBB
x x x

I think that give it a few weeks things will be back to normal bollox,,it is the mad season anyway,as soon as the kids are back at school people will probably chill out
Am I really hearing this?????
Sure there are threads on here that really are quite heated (and there are ppl here that enjoy that)
There are also some very silly whacky threads (ie the who put do in the dowap etc etc) that other people love.
Thats whats great about this forum - the diversity and variety. wink
If you dont like a particular thread then avoid it.
And if you dont like any of the threads - stop moaning and start one you do like!!!!
Dx
can i just say... if you are going to quote me.. please read my whole post before you do so!
i am NOT moaning about how the cafe has changed.. i have responded to a particular question asked by a poster.. about peoples opinions of how the forum has changed.... it is NOT the same as starting up a thread with the intention of having a whinge.
your comment about
If you dont like a particular thread then avoid it.
is a bit pointless as i had already stated i didint come on here as much due to me not liking all the argumentative stuff....is that not me already avoiding it??????
Quote by well_busty_babe
can i just say... if you are going to quote me.. please read my whole post before you do so!

Sorry hunny
Bit of an erratic quote incident - I was actually quoting Steve!!! wink
Do forgive me.
Dx
Quote by Dragon dé Ecstacy
Dear All,
I like the Forum NOW this is due to people writing good stuff that makes people think. At the recent Munch their was a divide between people that use the Forum & Chatroom. I think that as a Forum user the Chatroom everytime I've gone on has been very unfriendly & people are just looking for the attention of a chosen few or for a better example its like a popularity contest w / t me not being with the 'in crowd'.
Dragon de Ecsatcy.

Well I would like to add my comments to this thread, as a chatroom user, a forum user and someone who has been on the site for over a year (long enough to notice the changes).
Firstly the forum. Being honest I can't be bothered to read most of the threads. IMHO A small minority are spoiling the whole ethos of the forum by constantly posting wiithin seconds of each other. Very often just innane drivel. Sorry folks, if you feel the need to communicate like that you need a more instant method of communication.
OMFG they have invented it, its called a chatroom.......
Is the forum going downhill, I believe so YES.
As to Dragon's point about the chatroom being an unfriendly place. Part of me says yes and part says no. Over the months there have been a very large number of trouble makers coming in the chat room with the sole purpose of causing disruption. Those of us who have seen this are now very wary of "newbies" in the room.
I would actually liken the chatroom to a small village pub. You know the type, in you walk and the whole room stops talking and stares at you. All through your drink you feel uneasy and very quickly its drink up and time to leave. BUT ! the village pub is full of regulars. They must have suffered the same "cold shoulder" cos they were outsiders themselves once. Eventually they become recognised and are brought into the conversations. It does take time, but there are ppl in the chat room who I would call real freinds and I make sure I hunt them down at the various social events we attend.
Is the chatroom going downhill. Not anymore no. I feel the room hit an unfriendly low and due to the registration process has now turned the corner is back on the way up.
Don't forget, this is just my opinion
Ian_Mids
Quote by surreycouple2003

can i just say... if you are going to quote me.. please read my whole post before you do so!

Sorry hunny
Bit of an erratic quote incident - I was actually quoting Steve!!! wink
Do forgive me.
Dx
well then i humbely prostrate myself and beg forgiveness for jumping down your throat!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote by well_busty_babe
If you dont like a particular thread then avoid it.
is a bit pointless as i had already stated i didint come on here as much due to me not liking all the argumentative stuff....is that not me already avoiding it??????
However,
I would like to clarify that I do not mean avoid the forum - merely avoid the thread you dont like.
They arent all argumentative..!! wink
Dx
i can see the point that u are making , however i feel that many threads that start innocently can turn arguementative in a very short space of time nowdays.. i would prefer to avoid them.
however... like people have said before.. the cafe moves along all the time.. what is arguemntative one day.. will be fun and full of laughs the next.
it is foir this reason that i (and many others) stay around.
i am sure in a cpl of weeks we will have moved on to a dofferent level and this will please some people.
though i aknowledge.. not all.
I think this is a bit like the joke about the golfer who walks into the golf shop picks up a golf club and says to the professional "This is a good club."
And the professional replies " Yes it is but I think the lump of shite on the end of it is going to be a problem!" Geddit? - "Lump of shite??" Oh never mind.
Just like the golfer being the variable factor in whether the club is a success or not, the same is true about the Forum and the individual. Sometimes I come on the site and I think it's awful and other times I think it is great. There is inevitably some variation on a daily basis and during the school holidays but the biggest variable factor is me. I swing (me a Swinger??) between being a total arsehole to (what is probably a very annoying) state of euphoria.
On average I think the site has got better recently - I said so to Steve_lincs' thread and I say so again.
I think since the Munch things have been better and some of the debates have been good,i do think though that some people start certain threads just to start an arguement though,this isnt one of them though
Quote by Ian_Mids
Well I would like to add my comments to this thread, as a chatroom user, a forum user and someone who has been on the site for over a year (long enough to notice the changes).
Firstly the forum. Being honest I can't be bothered to read most of the threads. IMHO A small minority are spoiling the whole ethos of the forum by constantly posting wiithin seconds of each other. Very often just innane drivel. Sorry folks, if you feel the need to communicate like that you need a more instant method of communication.
OMFG they have invented it, its called a chatroom.......
Is the forum going downhill, I believe so YES.
As to Dragon's point about the chatroom being an unfriendly place. Part of me says yes and part says no. Over the months there have been a very large number of trouble makers coming in the chat room with the sole purpose of causing disruption. Those of us who have seen this are now very wary of "newbies" in the room.
I would actually liken the chatroom to a small village pub. You know the type, in you walk and the whole room stops talking and stares at you. All through your drink you feel uneasy and very quickly its drink up and time to leave. BUT ! the village pub is full of regulars. They must have suffered the same "cold shoulder" cos they were outsiders themselves once. Eventually they become recognised and are brought into the conversations. It does take time, but there are ppl in the chat room who I would call real freinds and I make sure I hunt them down at the various social events we attend.
Is the chatroom going downhill. Not anymore no. I feel the room hit an unfriendly low and due to the registration process has now turned the corner is back on the way up.
Don't forget, this is just my opinion
Ian_Mids

I agree with Ians analogy of The Cafe. This place has been cliquey since I first registered tbh.
I propose we change the name to.....
"The Slaughtered Lamb".
Quote by easy
I agree with Ians analogy of The Cafe. This place has been cliquey since I first registered tbh.
I propose we change the name to.....
"The Slaughtered Lamb".

Beware the moon.....
Keep clear of the cafe...... :twisted:
Quote by Steve_Lincs
I think since the Munch things have been better and some of the debates have been good,i do think though that some people start certain threads just to start an arguement though,this isnt one of them though

Yes it is mad
wink wink
Quote by niceguysdoexist

some people start certain threads just to start an arguement though,this isnt one of them though

Yes it is mad
wink wink
Oh no it isnt.............. wink
What we really need is another party on the cafe. Maybe the coffe has become not to weel perculated, the toast has become stale and sharp enough to cut your lips, and the jam has been out of date for ages. It is always difficult to get threads answered, and when you post, you never can tell. I did read that someone posted a sort of reply, that if you asked a specific, and it got hijacked, then to reiterate the question. Maybe it is the end of the holiday season, no more BH till xmas now, and everyone is feeling tetchy? I just try to avoid some posts and join in others, or sit and read. Many come and go, but then that is life. I think if we all just did this site ONLY, it would be a waste of a good internet provider. As was said, if it gets heavy, drop out for a week, dont drop in every day and get wound up. So easy to do on a thread that bugs you. The more who post, the more diverse the topics, but just accept that what is good to you, may get zilch replies...I know from experience, but hey, I still do it! lol
Can i just point out,that at the end of the day this is just a forum on the internet,yes the peeps on here are real,but it aint worth overly worrying about if it doesnt go perfectly!!