a useful tip

Sex God

0 likes 11 Dec 2005

as there seem to be a lot of threads about farts going on at the moment i thought i would share my useful tip........................
............................the majority of the noise made by a fart is from the air squeezing through your bum cheeks - confused

therefor if you hold your bum cheeks appart you are more likely to have a silent one! wink

hope this saves some relationships! lol

anyone else got any really useful tips they want to share????

MandH

Sex God

0 likes 11 Dec 2005

Quote by well_busty_babe
as there seem to be a lot of threads about farts going on at the moment i thought i would share my useful tip........................
............................the majority of the noise made by a fart is from the air squeezing through your bum cheeks -
therefor if you hold your bum cheeks appart you are more likely to have a silent one!
hope this saves some relationships!
anyone else got any really useful tips they want to share????

Well after what I eat and drink at times if I was to try that something else might happen but I won't go down that road in here :grin:

Bulger

Warming the Bed

0 likes 11 Dec 2005

as we should all care and share - how about getting someone else to hold your cheeks apart...
that's what friends are for..
I xx

Phoenix

Sex God

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Quote by well_busty_babe
therefor if you hold your bum cheeks appart you are more likely to have a silent one!

Tried it, it just echo's instead redface

Must have been the sunday dinner, 'onest guv.

Unknown User

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Sprouts

ops: :oops:

Bulger

Warming the Bed

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

got my sprouts on for Christmas 3 days ago.. going nicely now...
I xx

Unknown User

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Quote by Bulger
got my sprouts on for Christmas 3 days ago.. going nicely now...
I xx

what hahahahahahahaha

Bulger

Warming the Bed

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

well known fact that if sprouts are to be done properly they should be boiled for ages and ages.
Always put mine on at the start of December to ensure they are well done..
Also ensures that it isn't always necessary to hold ones cheeks apart wnn releasing the entrapped air as a result of OD'ing on sprouts
I xx

Unknown User

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Quote by Bulger
well known fact that if sprouts are to be done properly they should be boiled for ages and ages.
Always put mine on at the start of December to ensure they are well done..
Also ensures that it isn't always necessary to hold ones cheeks apart wnn releasing the entrapped air as a result of OD'ing on sprouts
I xx

hahahahahahaha not sure if its the 2 mugs of wine I have drunk or image of sprouts boiling for days but you have tickled me Bulger lol

Bulger

Warming the Bed

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

tis obvious that the subject of sprout boiling is not taken seriously enough in your household......
this is probably why the country is in the state it is just now ...
not enough boiled sprouts and a distinct lack of lumpy custard !!
Glad you managedto get a laugh ..
Keep smiling
Bulger (aka the sprout tickler !!)

Ice_Pie

Sex God

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Save your fart in a wine bottle and plug the bottle with a candle.
Light the the candle to amuse your dinner guest when the candle burns to the end.

Bulger

Warming the Bed

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
Save your fart in a wine bottle and plug the bottle with a candle.
Light the the candle to amuse your dinner guest when the candle burns to the end.

Hey that is one cool party game..
almost as good as farting in a bath in the dark as you hold your lighter or a match just above the water and see the bubbles burst into flame...
any other pyromaniacs out there with a penchant for fart induced flames???
B xx

well_busty_babe

Sex God

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
Save your fart in a wine bottle and plug the bottle with a candle.
Light the the candle to amuse your dinner guest when the candle burns to the end.

how do you ensure your fart goes into the wine bottle and does not spilll our round the edges instead??????????
hmmmmmmmmmm planning is important mr pie!

Ice_Pie

Sex God

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Quote by well_busty_babe
Save your fart in a wine bottle and plug the bottle with a candle.
Light the the candle to amuse your dinner guest when the candle burns to the end.

how do you ensure your fart goes into the wone bottle and does not spilll our round the edges instead??????????
hmmmmmmmmmm planning is important mr pie!
You can either modify your colonic irrigation kit, hermetically seal an ordinary household funnel by moulding your buttocks around the edge, or shove the bottle up your arse, depending on your mood.
HTH

Bulger

Warming the Bed

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Quote by well_busty_babe
Save your fart in a wine bottle and plug the bottle with a candle.
Light the the candle to amuse your dinner guest when the candle burns to the end.

how do you ensure your fart goes into the wine bottle and does not spilll our round the edges instead??????????
hmmmmmmmmmm planning is important mr pie!
Hi -
not trying to hi-jack Mr Pies thunder but I thought of using a funnel..
obvipusly I shall defer to his greater expertise in this matter and follow his lead..
Bulger

marmalaid

Sex God

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Quote by well_busty_babe
therefor if you hold your bum cheeks appart you are more likely to have a silent one!

I must disagree with your original assertion there, young la.. young la.. Busty.
Wen I have tried this it just raises the pitch a fair bit, just like when you pull the sdes of a balloon neck apart!

MandH

Sex God

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Quote by Bulger
Hey that is one cool party game..
almost as good as farting in a bath in the dark as you hold your lighter or a match just above the water and see the bubbles burst into flame...
any other pyromaniacs out there with a penchant for fart induced flames???
B xx

Now thats a new variation confused

.................. better than the singed bum hairs I got in me mispent youth rolleyes

Sarah

Sex God

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Tip:-
Make sure you take the house front door key with you, BEFORE you close the self locking door behind you!

cowboy

Sexlightened

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

tip
tell the kids not to eat yellow snow :giggle:

The__Muttleys

Orgasminator

0 likes 12 Dec 2005

Too much farting about going on here :shock: :shock: :shock: