I am fairly convinced that I am the most computer Illiterate person on the planet
I thought it would be a good idea to scan a couple of photos in to prove that I exist and am not a space alien. In my efforts to do so I have now completely buggered up my pc scanner link :cry:
And before anyone asks no I do not have a digital camera although I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that I may be the last person on planet earth not to.
Somebody tell me a joke cheer me up
Alexandra can you put the jacuzzi on again?
Why am I so dumb?PS that last bit wasnt meant to be rhetorical.
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Advanced Stupidity
Don't feel alone-once i spent three hours trying to install a friends digital camera onto my computer I went into the inner-most workings of the computer still no was until the ex came in and said don't you just flick this switch on the camera and it promptly installed she loved that,she would wouldn't she 
I'm as thick as treacle with those kinds of things.A woman is crossing the road when she gets run over. She is lying on the ground as the driver rushes out of the car to her.Any help at all?
"Are you alright?" he asks her.
"Everything is just a blur, I can't see anything" she says.
Concerned, the man leans over the woman to test her eyesight.
"How many fingers have I got up?" he asks.
"Oh No!" she replies, "Don't tell me I'm paralyzed from the waist down as well!!!"
Orgasminator
Here's your joke...
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said," I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said," I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
Warwick, know the feeling I sometimes think my PC has a mind of it's own.
However as for a good laugh, again some of the old ads here will turn you incontinent and burst your sides, like the one from a chap who was looking for "sex and a chat" , wow, now there’s a 2 way relationship about to happen
However as for a good laugh, again some of the old ads here will turn you incontinent and burst your sides, like the one from a chap who was looking for "sex and a chat" , wow, now there’s a 2 way relationship about to happen
Dont feel lonely, I once spent 3 hours trying to identify someones graphic card with some software tools for the supposed make so I could reinstall the drivers. After a lot of struggling my other half pops up 'Have you looked inside the box' we open it up and there is a big sticker on the card giving all the details...
Never lived that down
Still as requested here is a joke for your troubles:
You know you're living in 2004 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four! years and worked for three different companies.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
AND THE REAL CLINCHERS ARE...
13. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
14. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends."
15. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.
16. You are too busy to notice there was no 9
17. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a no 9
18. AND NOW U R LAUGHING at your self. Finally, you forward this to your friends
Never lived that down
Still as requested here is a joke for your troubles:
You know you're living in 2004 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four! years and worked for three different companies.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
AND THE REAL CLINCHERS ARE...
13. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
14. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends."
15. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.
16. You are too busy to notice there was no 9
17. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a no 9
18. AND NOW U R LAUGHING at your self. Finally, you forward this to your friends
