Advice - First timer! | Swinging Heaven

3 Mar 2005

We recently got a reply from a couple who we have been in contact with, they seem ok!
I dunno if Im just chickening out or if its just nerves, the girl seems ok and maybe its just me cause I have only spoken to the guy for 5-10 mins online but I dunno I just get a feeling that makes me wanna say no to them I think, maybe Im just being silly and once we meet it'll be different.
I havent a clue as Im new to this but I dont wanna go ahead and say yes well meet and then change my mind when I meet them. They do seem ok but its just a bit of a feeling from the guy?? confused

Any first timery advice would be very welcome!

3 Mar 2005

it dont feel right, back off
nuff said

3 Mar 2005

Trust your intuition. wink

3 Mar 2005

Yeah the intuition is the thing that seems to be kicking in!! Just dont wanna piss other people about too its not foar on them but its just a feeling I get confused

Usually if I get that it turns out to be for a reason rolleyes

3 Mar 2005

Cheers for the advice peeps it really is gratefully recieved and makes total sense!!

3 Mar 2005

Fruity, chat some more, ten minutes isn`t really long enough. If it`s your first time please don`t rush into it because you feel you are obliged to. If you don`t feel its right they will not mind and they will respect your wishes. ...If they don`t then clearly you made the right choice.
If you do decide to meet, just meet for a drink/coffee whatever. Its difficult , but easier to explain after a meet that you couldn`t take things further ...rather than at the meet.
Good luck whatever x

3 Mar 2005

If you're not totally enthusiastic about this guy, you'll go in half-hearted and with negative expectations, and if you go with negative expectations you won't be in the mood to enjoy yourself, and if you're not in the mood to enjoy yourself you probably won't enjoy yourself, and if you don't enjoy yourself you won't want to do it again.
The world's probably not going to end anytime soon, so take your time and give yourself permission to do what feels right for you.
If it feels good, do it, and if it doesn't feel good, put your feet up, have a cuppa tea and wait until it does feel good. smile

4 Mar 2005

Why dont you just arrange to meet up with them for a few drinks one night as an initial meet then if you find you all get on ok you can meet again,if you dont like them then dont.
But dont be afraid to be honest and say what your feeling to them otherwise if you go ahead and hate it you could regret it confused

4 Mar 2005

It's sometimes better to say in ur ad or whatever you use to advertise yourselves that you don't swing on a first meet..... this makes it clear to your prospective 'swinging' playmates that nothing is going to happen and you can attend a meet safe in the knowledge that you have a clearly defined exit if you need it.....
If they turn out to be exceptionally nice people however....... you can abandon ur strategy and go with what feels right ...... it works for us, give it a whirl !!!
Good luck & regards

4 Mar 2005

cool thanks biggrin

4 Mar 2005

We always used to tell people that we don't play on a first date. We had agreed this between ourselves. But then we are very picky about who we meet in the first place.
OK, I always end up shagging them on the first date, after all. rolleyes

I think if you find someone attractive and they turn you on - go for it. But having the intention not to kinda takes the pressure off.
It is rare to meet a couple, as a couple, and for the 4 of you to just 'click'. But it does happen and it is well worth the wait (if there is a wait ;) )

4 Mar 2005

As a complete newbie myself - who is chatting with couples about the possibility of meeting... all I can say is.. if it really feels wrong - back off..
BUT we have said to everyone we have talked to that we would love to meet for a drink or dinner first and see how we all get on... then wemightconsider having some 'fun' - this mightbe the same night - but probably be a seperate occasion.
A few couples are very happy with that, others who werent never contacted us agian - which Im happy with - We will not be preassured and we thought it was the best way to remove preassure from the first meeting. Then if you like them but you dont want to swing with them - you can at least say freely and have a drink in a pub with them for the eve.
Hope thats remotely helpful
Sini biggrin

4 Mar 2005

all great advice thanks, the couple we've met Ive chatted to the female and I get the feeling shes ok havent spoke to the guy much only 10 mins but thats not enough especially when i get the feeling he aint right for me tbh.
They said to my shagging partner they dont wanna spend time chatting and getting to know which is fair enough in a sense but Im not just gonna say yes on a 10 min conversation with either of them!! Think I will have to amend my ad so people dont have instant expectaions maybe?? As far as I know my shagging partners only talked to the female of the couple!
I dunno if its just me but it just seems to spell slight disaster from the outset confused