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Advice needed...

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tattyxpx
Orgasminator
Thanks everyone for your views... I knew this problem would open the floodgates as it were redface and for that i apologise.
I simply wanted to know if it was do-able.
So going by what some have said on here I've PM'd the munch organiser and the Admin for the site.
'tis true that this person isn't my long term RL partner, cause I don't have one of those, However, who's to say that after he has met my friends things won't develope dunno
Funnily enough I met this guy 2 year ago when some of us off here went to the Night of the Senses (used to be known as The Sex Maniacs Ball), and since then we have met up a few times.
It just so happened that it's both our birthdays soon and as there is a gathering of my Swinging buddies the weekend of our birthdays, I thought that after 2 years he might finally meet the folks I so freely call my friends confused
As I've said I've PM'd the munch organiser for their view on the matter and I also PM'd the site Admin to get their opinion on the matter. So I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
Again thankyou all for your input :thumbup:
Darkfire
Sex God
Quote by Mal
On SH your partner doesn't need to be a member in their own right to attend Munches, that has always been the case. You may be getting confused with another Site which DOES insist on that stupid rule.
Mal
wink

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :idea:
light dawns lol
Thanks Mal :lol:
Unknown User
Ah the good old “ Site member + 1 “ rolleyes
I’m totally against it in principle, as a general rule.
But I like to think I live in the real world, where there is a place and calling for common sense and use of discretion.
Of course it would be ludicrous to force members’ significant others to register for the sake of it. Particularly as this is now a pay site.
davej and Mrs davej, TNH and Mrs Tnh, lucy and Ken – are three that spring to mind without thought BUT – we have grown to know, or at least know of them over a period of time. Lord knows, I was vocal enough about lucy and Ken a few weeks ago, over the road.
Newer members, with single or “couple sounding” nicks or the silent other half types, where the main or only poster is one of them Darkfire, mdr200 (?) Not a problem. (Sorry I didn’t introduce myself last night btw, mdr)
Like others have said, I see the problem of allowing what are little more than guests, to attend. The gawpers. The too curious. Etc
This is not a dig at tatty. I have every confidence in her personally to bring only the right “sort” It’s my own views on the whole “+1” thing and inviting non members/friends/guests.
But I do think we need to be careful of what we start, and any precedents that we set.
HLB made a comment about “outing” swingers to a vanilla.
I’m afraid the arguments of “well, we’re all here for the same reason etc etc blahblah” and “there’s nothing goes on a Munch etc etc blahblah” don’t fully wash.
Bad things
Scenario 1
An “active” single bi fem (therefore seen by many as “can do no wrong”) meets a guy on a vanilla night out. Shags him two or three times. Thinks “Hmm – he’s an ok kind of guy. Maybe I’d like to take him to a  And explains everything to him and invites him. Takes him along to the next munch. All goes well. Not a problem. He has no real interest in joining the scene or lifestyle because he realises it’s not the quick shag opportunity he thought it might be. Not a problem.
Until
On Monday morning in the works canteen, he “outs” a member of the senior management as a swinger because he saw him/her at the munch; and because of the attitudes of the company it become awkward, or worse for the manager to stay there.
Not a problem for him. He’s Jack the Lad. “Guess where I went on Saturday. Guess who I saw, and what they were doing ! ! ! ! “
Scenario 2
Same set up, but the guy gets arseholed, sees the way we greet each other. The way we flirt. How touchy feely some of us are. And thinks “Fuck me, I’ll have some of that ! ! !” and decides to cop a grope of one of the girls.
From a very personal point of view, if I see it looking as though it’s going to happen; I will put myself physically between the gropy guy and, for example HLB. I did at Plymouth and would have no hesitation in doing it anywhere else. At Plymouth, we were very lucky and it amounted to little more than “macho-bullshit” glaring. But it could have gone either way.
One of the most pleasing comments I’ve heard from pub landlords/managers about us is that they are always amazed the first time we munch somewhere that there are 100+ people, copious amounts of alcohol, (sometimes) scantily clad girlies AND NO TROUBLE.
Yep – I know. Within a second or too, the error of his ways would be pointed out to him in the same way they’d be pointed out to me. Too late. Damage done. Night ruined for at least the girl groped, and a couple of first time munchers decide that it’s not the place or thing for them – based on an isolated incident.
I’ve used a single bi fem bringing a guy as an example, but my views are the same for one of us bringing a female “guest” and I have scenarios for that example, but won’t bore you with them.
I would also extend my comments to include mini munches, and socials such as last nights Burton.
Yes, they are in open public; but to invite a vanilla guest to the table is pretty much the same as bringing them to a munch. To those that have been to a few socials, I ask – Apart from the bar and maybe the dance floor, how much real interaction is there between the members and vanillas ? Not a lot, I’d wager.
For me, it boils down to something very very simple.
Swingers and vanillas don’t, can’t and shouldn’t mix during a swingers’ social event, and we should be very wary of who we try to invite as little more than “vanilla guests”
Tatty Sweetie.
It sounds to me as tho the guy you’re talking about is at the very least “on the fringes” of swinging, or another aspect of “alternative, recreational sex” Dunno, maybe bdsm or such like so wouldn’t therefore class him as “vanilla” And as such, if you wanted to bring him to anything I was attending OR organising – I wouldn’t have a problem; BUT I would respect and understand those that did kiss
Freckledbird
Sex God
Quote by tattyxpx
It just so happened that it's both our birthdays soon and as there is a gathering of my Swinging buddies the weekend of our birthdays, I thought that after 2 years he might finally meet the folks I so freely call my friends confused
As I've said I've PM'd the munch organiser for their view on the matter and I also PM'd the site Admin to get their opinion on the matter. So I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
Again thankyou all for your input :thumbup:

If it's the mids munch, this is all academic anyway because the list is full, with a reserve list. Plus it's not an SH munch anyway so it doesn't matter what the admin on here thinks, surely?
HornyLittleBlonde
Sex God
Something else I just remembered was a single girl who was on a list for a munch and asked for her "partner" to be added as she was no longer a single.
She sent the pm on a Saturday afternoon having met the man the previous Friday and starting thier relationship on the Sunday. rolleyes
As previously stated I know Tatty has the common sense to invite someone along under those circumstances, but not everyone is blessed with her brain power
tattyxpx
Orgasminator
Quote by dambuster
Tatty Sweetie.
It sounds to me as tho the guy you’re talking about is at the very least “on the fringes” of swinging, or another aspect of “alternative, recreational sex” Dunno, maybe bdsm or such like so wouldn’t therefore class him as “vanilla” And as such, if you wanted to bring him to anything I was attending OR organising – I wouldn’t have a problem; BUT I would respect and understand those that did kiss

Thankyou very much Dammie passionkiss
Sxboy
Sex God
its up too you hunny
if people dont like it tough poo
hes going as your guest not as a potential partner for others
do what your comfy with
well_busty_babe
Sex God
Quote by SXBOY
its up too you hunny
if people dont like it tough poo
hes going as your guest not as a potential partner for others
do what your comfy with

with regard to tatties problem, she knows what i think - i have chatted with her in pm offering my help. however, this particular comment is the kind that causes problems! mad
are you suggesting that everyone should just do what they like and never mind anyone else?
well i can see how you will be popular at socials! rolleyes