Just need some advice on this matter. My partner hit me today and has done it before please tell me what you think I should do.
All replies would be appreciated
Thanks Forum
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Advice on partner
Sex God
Find someone , friend or family that you trust and that can help . Sit down with them , and make a quick and sensible plan to get away from him as soon as possible . Failing that if you have no one who can help at hand then use any of the counselling and help services to get away . It sounds dramatic but the sooner you get away the sooner you can look at things rationally and make proper decisions without pressure from him . Whatever that decision my be it will be better for you and him to be apart while you work out why it happened , and if its solvable .
Just my pennyworth.
One step at a time
xxx
Peace
Just my pennyworth.
One step at a time
xxx
Peace
I will admit to loosing my temper twice in 25 years and lashing out at my partner 
. In both instances it was out of frustration and I really regreted it afterwards and as soon as tempers had subsided all efforts were made to forgive.
I depends on how much anger was behind your partners "hit" and for what reasons.
. In both instances it was out of frustration and I really regreted it afterwards and as soon as tempers had subsided all efforts were made to forgive.I depends on how much anger was behind your partners "hit" and for what reasons.
Quote by jennaj
Just need some advice on this matter. My partner hit me today and has done it before please tell me what you think I should do.
All replies would be appreciated
Thanks Forum
Leave.
It will probably not get any better, the braver he gets the more he will hit you.
Sorry to be so blunt, but you asked the question and I thought it only fair to answer honestly.
Thats ok
Thank you for your kind remarks. We always argue over stupid things like money and jobs etc. He always says he pays the most money but whos account is he using mine. He is so silly at times I dont understand him one minute he is nice the next minute he is angry and makes me mad.
But keep them coming
Thank you for your kind remarks. We always argue over stupid things like money and jobs etc. He always says he pays the most money but whos account is he using mine. He is so silly at times I dont understand him one minute he is nice the next minute he is angry and makes me mad.
But keep them coming
Sex God
Quote by jennaj
Thats ok
Thank you for your kind remarks. We always argue over stupid things like money and jobs etc. He always says he pays the most money but whos account is he using mine. He is so silly at times I dont understand him one minute he is nice the next minute he is angry and makes me mad.
But keep them coming
Sorry Jen but you sound like youre already making light of it all in your head . Justifying the action to yourself and making it easier to forgive . Dont talk about it like its an everyday thing , because it isnt , its very wrong and dangerous ! As I said you arent reasoning correctly because youre looking at the situation from within it , like a cage almost . Get away from the situation as much as humanly possible before you start thinking about what it really means , and what to do about it . Sorry if that sounds condescending , it really is intended in the best of hearts .
G
I know from the recent experience of a friend's mum that a women's refuge is just that - they allow NO male vistors or phonecalls from men, for the secruity of the women living there. It is a shame for me and smoking muff, because we are closer to Val, then our friend is - but unless we get a phone call from her saying lets meet at such and such place, we are leaving her to get her head straight.
Jenna, you could do a lot worse than find your local refuge, go down there and have a chat with some of the people there - they will help you a lot more than most here ( ie - like myself, those with NO experience of what happened to you ) and will be happy to caht with you.
Jenna, you could do a lot worse than find your local refuge, go down there and have a chat with some of the people there - they will help you a lot more than most here ( ie - like myself, those with NO experience of what happened to you ) and will be happy to caht with you.
i left my husband 13 years ago for that reason.
i had 12 years of verbal abuse and put downs.
i felt has if i was worth nothing.
but when he punched me that turned everything around and gave
me the courage to grab my 3 1/2 and 5 month old kids and walk out.
yes i had to start again with nothing but it was the best thing i could have done for me and my kids.
so if hes hit you i would say find the courage to leave for your own safty and your kids
saftey to if you have any.
hope this helps in some way xxxx
and while im here can i just say thanx to everyone that has given me advice today.
it has helped a lot and now i can see things more clear and im hopeing we can work things out.
never set out to say anything on here about my probs in first place but it has helped me
a lot.
hijack over.
i had 12 years of verbal abuse and put downs.
i felt has if i was worth nothing.
but when he punched me that turned everything around and gave
me the courage to grab my 3 1/2 and 5 month old kids and walk out.
yes i had to start again with nothing but it was the best thing i could have done for me and my kids.
so if hes hit you i would say find the courage to leave for your own safty and your kids
saftey to if you have any.
hope this helps in some way xxxx
and while im here can i just say thanx to everyone that has given me advice today.
it has helped a lot and now i can see things more clear and im hopeing we can work things out.
never set out to say anything on here about my probs in first place but it has helped me
a lot.
hijack over.
Quote by smokerjim
I know from the recent experience of a friend's mum that a women's refuge is just that - they allow NO male vistors or phonecalls from men, for the secruity of the women living there. It is a shame for me and smoking muff, because we are closer to Val, then our friend is - but unless we get a phone call from her saying lets meet at such and such place, we are leaving her to get her head straight.
Jenna, you could do a lot worse than find your local refuge, go down there and have a chat with some of the people there - they will help you a lot more than most here ( ie - like myself, those with NO experience of what happened to you ) and will be happy to caht with you.
i agree i spent 6 months in a refuge they helped me alot.
you can go to your doctor like i did and they found a refuge for us.
the people in the refuge found me a house and helped me start over again.
Tina xxxx
JennaJ
Leave, please !!
I obviously don't understand your plight and the depths of it from both your sides. BUT and its a MASSIVE BUT !! There is NEVER an excuse for a man to hit a woman, in fact, there is never an excuse for anyone to hit their partner.
I was in a relationship for 8 years (I am a male) and my (female) partner abused me, it started off as a punch in the back of the head and got worse each time it happened (there was a lot of time in between each incident) but as someone else on here said, the perpetrator gets "braver" each time. I NEVER hit my partner back, just accepted it, and got out of the house to let her cool off.
Eventually we split up for other reasons, but I am sure that she would have got worse.
Like I said, NEVER an excuse for it, it is totally unacceptable...............
Try and forget that this is your problem for the moment, and imagine that your closest female friend has come to you and told you that her partner had hit her, what advice would you give her?
Thinking of you, and hope whatever you decide, it is the BEST for YOU !!
take care
L, H & K
Nigel (one half of welshBIcouple)
xx
Leave, please !!
I obviously don't understand your plight and the depths of it from both your sides. BUT and its a MASSIVE BUT !! There is NEVER an excuse for a man to hit a woman, in fact, there is never an excuse for anyone to hit their partner.
I was in a relationship for 8 years (I am a male) and my (female) partner abused me, it started off as a punch in the back of the head and got worse each time it happened (there was a lot of time in between each incident) but as someone else on here said, the perpetrator gets "braver" each time. I NEVER hit my partner back, just accepted it, and got out of the house to let her cool off.
Eventually we split up for other reasons, but I am sure that she would have got worse.
Like I said, NEVER an excuse for it, it is totally unacceptable...............
Try and forget that this is your problem for the moment, and imagine that your closest female friend has come to you and told you that her partner had hit her, what advice would you give her?
Thinking of you, and hope whatever you decide, it is the BEST for YOU !!
take care
L, H & K
Nigel (one half of welshBIcouple)
xx
Quote by jennaj
Just need some advice on this matter. My partner hit me today and has done it before please tell me what you think I should do.
All replies would be appreciated
Thanks Forum
No excuses are worth it - if this has happened before. Leave as soon as you can arrange it and probably do so quietly while they are not in the house. Don't tell him where you are going and only talk to him afterwards on your terms and never ever alone.
Do not accept quick apologies.
Like I say there is no excuse, things will only get worse if he knows he can do it and you will stay with him.
( In all of this I've assumed him for ease )
jennaj i was lead to believe by someone you had met that your partner found out that you was meeting people behind his back and when he found out he asked you not to meet anymore, yet u still do, don't suppose this has anything to do with the reason he's hit you has it?
Not saying its ok to hit anyone even if they are cheating but it does bring a clearer light on the subject if you tell the whole story
Not saying its ok to hit anyone even if they are cheating but it does bring a clearer light on the subject if you tell the whole story
WHATEVER the reason, there is no excuse for violence.
After listening to many women who have suffered (and boy do they suffer) domestic violence, one incident ALWAYS leads to another.
Their partner always bereates them and makes them feel that it is their fault for the incident and belittles them so much that they believe everything little hurtful thing they say.
My advice to anyone in that situation is if you value your life, get out. There are many refuges for people with children that are a safe heaven that gives them their time and space to decide what to do next.
They are plenty of guys who will treat you properly so why waste your time with one who is a bastard?
Put your own health and sanity first, you are worthy of a better life.
There is no second chances for violent people.
(Written by Alex_Female)
After listening to many women who have suffered (and boy do they suffer) domestic violence, one incident ALWAYS leads to another.
Their partner always bereates them and makes them feel that it is their fault for the incident and belittles them so much that they believe everything little hurtful thing they say.
My advice to anyone in that situation is if you value your life, get out. There are many refuges for people with children that are a safe heaven that gives them their time and space to decide what to do next.
They are plenty of guys who will treat you properly so why waste your time with one who is a bastard?
Put your own health and sanity first, you are worthy of a better life.
There is no second chances for violent people.
(Written by Alex_Female)
Quote by naughtynymphos1
jennaj i was lead to believe by someone you had met that your partner found out that you was meeting people behind his back and when he found out he asked you not to meet anymore, yet u still do, don't suppose this has anything to do with the reason he's hit you has it?
Not saying its ok to hit anyone even if they are cheating but it does bring a clearer light on the subject if you tell the whole story
Well thats okay then, if she was doing something her partner didn't want her to, she should count herself lucky she is not in hospital (!!!!!!!!!)
I can't believe the insensitivity of this post. :x There is NEVER an excuse for violence, regardless of the reasons....... It doesn't matter if JennaJ was sleeping with the whole of the british army, and the navy, nobody have the right to administer a beating to another person !!
Sorry to the mods if this is overly strong, but this lady is asking for advice at a fraught time in her life and all she gets is this.................
Sex God
Quote by naughtynymphos1
jennaj i was lead to believe by someone you had met that your partner found out that you was meeting people behind his back and when he found out he asked you not to meet anymore, yet u still do, don't suppose this has anything to do with the reason he's hit you has it?
Not saying its ok to hit anyone even if they are cheating but it does bring a clearer light on the subject if you tell the whole story
Nobody's been asked to judge motive or culpability here - just offer solutions. So I think this is irrelevant ( as long as Jennaj doesn't try to use it to get at her partner!).
I can't offer advice on solutions - there's obviously a lack of control involved and you can't reason about that. So it seems to me that the 'Leave' advice from others is correct.
My ex of 12 years hit me once and I was upset and confused etc..here was the man who supposedly loved me using violence towards me 
I got all the usual apologies and promises that it would never happen again etc etc..
Three weeks and a bottle of vodka later (he was an alcoholic by this point) he tried to strangle me and I think if he hadn't been drunk he might have succeeded..I managed to get him off me and ran to my parents' house where my father proceeded to physically eject him from my home where my 3 yr old and 1 yr old were sleeping at the time. I packed his bags that night and rang his father to come and get them in the morning. Needless to say that is the point he became my ex.
My point here-as Happy Cats has pointed out already-is that the violence will escalate-I was lucky I have a supportive family and more respect for myself than to be treated like that. Jenna you need to get out or get him out otherwise things will just get worse and you may not be as lucky as I was.
Best wishes,
Minx x x
I got all the usual apologies and promises that it would never happen again etc etc.. Three weeks and a bottle of vodka later (he was an alcoholic by this point) he tried to strangle me and I think if he hadn't been drunk he might have succeeded..I managed to get him off me and ran to my parents' house where my father proceeded to physically eject him from my home where my 3 yr old and 1 yr old were sleeping at the time. I packed his bags that night and rang his father to come and get them in the morning. Needless to say that is the point he became my ex.
My point here-as Happy Cats has pointed out already-is that the violence will escalate-I was lucky I have a supportive family and more respect for myself than to be treated like that. Jenna you need to get out or get him out otherwise things will just get worse and you may not be as lucky as I was.
Best wishes,
Minx x x
Quote by welshBIcouple
jennaj i was lead to believe by someone you had met that your partner found out that you was meeting people behind his back and when he found out he asked you not to meet anymore, yet u still do, don't suppose this has anything to do with the reason he's hit you has it?
Not saying its ok to hit anyone even if they are cheating but it does bring a clearer light on the subject if you tell the whole story
Well thats okay then, if she was doing something her partner didn't want her to, she should count herself lucky she is not in hospital (!!!!!!!!!)
I can't believe the insensitivity of this post. :x There is NEVER an excuse for violence, regardless of the reasons....... It doesn't matter if JennaJ was sleeping with the whole of the british army, and the navy, nobody have the right to administer a beating to another person !!
Sorry to the mods if this is overly strong, but this lady is asking for advice at a fraught time in her life and all she gets is this.................
Actually i did put i'm not saying its ok to hit someone even if they are cheating if you bothered to read it!!!!!
I myself have suffered from domestic violance from my first relationship and i know all to well how it feels to spend ur life making excuses theres only so many doors u can walk into b4 you have had enough.
But if your going to put up a post on a open forum telling everyone ur personal life story i feel u should put it all, hes done wrong and so has she yet shes only chosen to put his down falls on, and as it is on a open forum i have as much rights to may say as you do and even tho i am still saying yes it is wrong to hit someone it just goes to show theres always 2 sides to every story, after all how would u feel if u found out ur partner had been meeting and going to swinging clubs behind ur back?
Sex God
i dont for one moment believe naughtynymphos was suggesting it is EVER acceptable to use physical violence to anyone,
what they were trying to say was that there are always TWO sides to the story.. and this is only ONE of them!
IF the person is telling the truth about being hit then it is bad, however IF the person is a compulsive liar and it is THEM who are doing the hurting in the relationship and they are looking for an excuse for their behaviour then it is a different matter.
Well thats okay then, if she was doing something her partner didn't want her to, she should count herself lucky she is not in hospital (!!!!!!!!!)
I can't believe the insensitivity of this post. :x
There is NEVER an excuse for violence, regardless of the reasons....... It doesn't matter if JennaJ was sleeping with the whole of the british army, and the navy, nobody have the right to administer a beating to another person !!
Sorry to the mods if this is overly strong, but this lady is asking for advice at a fraught time in her life and all she gets is this.................
what they were trying to say was that there are always TWO sides to the story.. and this is only ONE of them!
IF the person is telling the truth about being hit then it is bad, however IF the person is a compulsive liar and it is THEM who are doing the hurting in the relationship and they are looking for an excuse for their behaviour then it is a different matter.
Quote by welshBIcouple
jennaj i was lead to believe by someone you had met that your partner found out that you was meeting people behind his back and when he found out he asked you not to meet anymore, yet u still do, don't suppose this has anything to do with the reason he's hit you has it?
Not saying its ok to hit anyone even if they are cheating but it does bring a clearer light on the subject if you tell the whole story
Well thats okay then, if she was doing something her partner didn't want her to, she should count herself lucky she is not in hospital (!!!!!!!!!)
I can't believe the insensitivity of this post. :x There is NEVER an excuse for violence, regardless of the reasons....... It doesn't matter if JennaJ was sleeping with the whole of the british army, and the navy, nobody have the right to administer a beating to another person !!
Sorry to the mods if this is overly strong, but this lady is asking for advice at a fraught time in her life and all she gets is this.................
Sex God
Quote by jennaj
Just need some advice on this matter. My partner hit me today and has done it before please tell me what you think I should do.
All replies would be appreciated
Thanks Forum
I have a personal rule that says the moment anyone raises a hand to me in anger, the relationship is over, No exceptions, and I've had to invoke that rule once.
Now, I wouldn't presume to say that nobody should tolerate what I won't tolerate - people stay with partners who have been violent for all sorts of reasons and it's not my place to criticise them for that - but what I will say is I have seldom heard of it happening just the once. When someone gets away with it, they'll probably think they can get away with it again, and I think you need to bear that in mind when making your decision.
Hope everything works out ok for you.
Ice
Sex God
is it???????
Sex God
wbb tapps fingers whilst waiting for kat to find his keys! 
