prolly can't do much more than echo people on here... but want to add our names to the support list...
...mr. ocky and I came out as swingers to alll of our friends back in New York (slowly, over time) most of them just ignore that we do it altogether and never ever talk about it, but a few have distanced themselves.
they may need time to adjust and think, and come to realize this is not something one ends a friendship over. It could be this person acted without thinking and will come around. If that doesn't happen, than as painful as it is, she wasn't going to be a "best" friend. Since those are the ones that are there for you and put their love for you and your history together before judging. But you seem to have a large group here of people who love you for you and will be there for you no matter what.
big big hugs
mr and ms ocky
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alone, lost. THANK YOU ALL OF YOU!
Sex God
Quote by Rainbows
Just told my best bet mate about my swinging lifestyle and just got cast out out big time!!!!!
Feel very alone right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
Sorry to hear that Rainbows ... hopefully she'll 'come round' after she's had time think about it a bit more rationally - after all, you're still the same person you were 5 mins before you told her and the good times you have had as friends are still good times ... it's not like you admitted to murdering anyone or destroying someones life after all ... or expecting her to jump into the swinging lifestyle!
People, eh?
Warming the Bed
Having just entered this lifestyle I often find myself wondering would telling those friends closest to me be the best idea.
Having read your post and so many lovely replies I have decided that YES, of course it is.
Not because of your unfortunate experience, for which I can only offer you words of comfort and send out lots of huggs and snuggles. But because of all the support you have on here.
What a truely remarkable site - You are all extraordinary wonderful people - Keep up the good work. I really am soooooo glad I stumbled across this site.
Rainbow's keep your chin up girl - I'm sure your friend will remember all the goodness in you and forget about this silly little spat.
:kiss:
Having read your post and so many lovely replies I have decided that YES, of course it is.
Not because of your unfortunate experience, for which I can only offer you words of comfort and send out lots of huggs and snuggles. But because of all the support you have on here.
What a truely remarkable site - You are all extraordinary wonderful people - Keep up the good work. I really am soooooo glad I stumbled across this site.
Rainbow's keep your chin up girl - I'm sure your friend will remember all the goodness in you and forget about this silly little spat.
:kiss: Thank you to everyone who has been soo very kind, both here and in PM. You really are a great bunch of people!
Yes Little Gem - it is the Lesbian thing with me "admitting" to being bi, but she says the main thing is that lied to her (she has been introduced to my swinging partners uner a different guise). She can't see past that right now.
I am just really shell shocked right now. I knew I wouldn't get a positive reaction - but she just went balistic.
Anyway - I am going to "calm" things down a bit. I am not going to go to any munches athat I have my nae down for. Sorry - but I need to evaluate this.
Thank you al lagain :kiss:
Yes Little Gem - it is the Lesbian thing with me "admitting" to being bi, but she says the main thing is that lied to her (she has been introduced to my swinging partners uner a different guise). She can't see past that right now.
I am just really shell shocked right now. I knew I wouldn't get a positive reaction - but she just went balistic.
Anyway - I am going to "calm" things down a bit. I am not going to go to any munches athat I have my nae down for. Sorry - but I need to evaluate this.
Thank you al lagain :kiss:
Casanova
So sorry to hear what happened, you must be feeling terrible. If she was a true friend she would accept you as you are, warts and all.
You are a lovely person and it is your friends loss, to be losing such a nice honest friendly person
Big Hugs babe :therethere: :therethere: :therethere: :therethere:
:kiss :kiss
You are a lovely person and it is your friends loss, to be losing such a nice honest friendly person
Big Hugs babe :therethere: :therethere: :therethere: :therethere:
:kiss :kiss
Quote by pebb_bambam
You are not alone and your friend will understand and still be your true friend. Be true to yourself and your friend will continue to love you.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
:love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love:
Okay so I am the only one on here who knows who this is. Thank you sweetheart
I told my best mate a while back and she was cool. Which suggests you have to know your friends.
Problem is she's a bit of an academic, fascinated by the things I tell her and wants some sort of of study of alternative sexuality to be done. When I say you guys wouldn't stand for the intrusion she goes all puzzled.
She finds it wierd that despite the non-conformity of the behaviour there is a very high moral code.
Jezzay.
Problem is she's a bit of an academic, fascinated by the things I tell her and wants some sort of of study of alternative sexuality to be done. When I say you guys wouldn't stand for the intrusion she goes all puzzled.
She finds it wierd that despite the non-conformity of the behaviour there is a very high moral code.
Jezzay.
Sex God
Sorry to hear of your problems Rainbows, but as many have already expressed you will never be alone here.
Hope things work out, and that your friend realises that she is the one that has lost out.
John
Hope things work out, and that your friend realises that she is the one that has lost out.
John
Hey Rainbow!
Sorry to hear what you are going through. What can I say? People! :fuckinghell: I hope everything works out well in the end and your friend remembers who you are and not who they think you are but I don't hold out much hope. I can never understand how people can cause so much damage to those they claim to love through their own selfish actions. And why are a person's sexual inclinations made out to be so political?
I know it must feel like the ground has been tugged out from under your feet right now and I can only hope that the responses you have been getting on SH help to cushion the fall. But you are not alone, Rainbow, not here and not in normal life either. The worst thing you can do to yourself is let this so-called friend get to you. If they can't accept you for who you are that is their problem - only you can make it yours too and only if you chose to. (Maybe easier said than done but so often a simple change in attitude is all that it takes to make a situation look entirely different.) Please don't stop being who you are or doing what pleases you because someone you thought was your friend doesn't approve. And if this friend is simply pissed off at being 'lied' to about your swinging friends then they need to stop being selfish and taking those feelings out on you! :!: Their reaction is precisely why you might introduce swinging friends under a different guise...
Big hugs to you and we hope you find your feet soon!
H&E
p.s. We hope you remember us from the Glasgow Munch...
Sorry to hear what you are going through. What can I say? People! :fuckinghell: I hope everything works out well in the end and your friend remembers who you are and not who they think you are but I don't hold out much hope. I can never understand how people can cause so much damage to those they claim to love through their own selfish actions. And why are a person's sexual inclinations made out to be so political?
I know it must feel like the ground has been tugged out from under your feet right now and I can only hope that the responses you have been getting on SH help to cushion the fall. But you are not alone, Rainbow, not here and not in normal life either. The worst thing you can do to yourself is let this so-called friend get to you. If they can't accept you for who you are that is their problem - only you can make it yours too and only if you chose to. (Maybe easier said than done but so often a simple change in attitude is all that it takes to make a situation look entirely different.) Please don't stop being who you are or doing what pleases you because someone you thought was your friend doesn't approve. And if this friend is simply pissed off at being 'lied' to about your swinging friends then they need to stop being selfish and taking those feelings out on you! :!: Their reaction is precisely why you might introduce swinging friends under a different guise...
Big hugs to you and we hope you find your feet soon!
H&E
p.s. We hope you remember us from the Glasgow Munch...
Rainbows that is really sad. I thought it would be more to do with her not knowing that the actual content of the secret. I was realy scared when I told my (highly religious) best friend that I am bi, having known her for 5 years and had a very intimate friendship with her. Amazingly, she is totally fne about that and about me wanting to sleep with women. I think she has seen so uch in the world that she can't be shocked!
I have a hunch you and your friend will work this out. I think people often need a little while to mull things over. Besides she probably doesn't know much about the swinging community and may have that horrible stereotypical image of it in her head (I've had carkeys mentioned to me so many times!).
Best of luck - if she loves you she will deal with this.
As an aside - I don't think it's weird to want to 'study' alternative sexualities and I am aware particularly of bisexual, BDSM and polyamrous academics who are members of a community for real and also do qualitative studies in as empowering a way as possible for the participants. I shrea their view that it's really great to get those experiences recognised by social sciences so that the mainstream can see it's not just 'deviant'.
I have a hunch you and your friend will work this out. I think people often need a little while to mull things over. Besides she probably doesn't know much about the swinging community and may have that horrible stereotypical image of it in her head (I've had carkeys mentioned to me so many times!).
Best of luck - if she loves you she will deal with this.
As an aside - I don't think it's weird to want to 'study' alternative sexualities and I am aware particularly of bisexual, BDSM and polyamrous academics who are members of a community for real and also do qualitative studies in as empowering a way as possible for the participants. I shrea their view that it's really great to get those experiences recognised by social sciences so that the mainstream can see it's not just 'deviant'.
