Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

Apology!!

last reply
26 replies
1.5k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Why do we really apologise?is it for absolution or out of remorse,because we are truly sorry or cos we want to feel better about ourselves?or because its expected of us when we wrong others,but do we really mean it....?
i personally rearly or never quick to apologise beacause sometimes i feel its an insult to or waste of time if your feeling about a situation/issue is still the same....why do you apologise or not!
above material is not copied and pasted
I have two kinds of apology.
At work I apologise to clients when things aren't as they expect. It is my professional apology and really is just for effect. I do it because it is hard to keep moaning at some one who has admitted their mistake and apologised.
In my personal life I apologise because generally I don't want to upset people. So if I have inadvertantly offended them it is easy for me to say sorry ands try to make amends. These are sincere. I just want people to be happy. Sickening I know but true.............sorry wink
If I've knowingly wronged or hurt someone I will apologise and I expect the same in return. Sometimes you can hurt someone without realising and personally I'd prefer to be told I have and have the chance to make things better than for someone to think bad of me.
I only apologise if I genuinely think I'm in the wrong or if I've hurt someone mentally or physically.
In certain circumstances I may say "I'm sorry you feel..." in that respect I'm saying I'm sorry but not really admitting I'm wrong.. if you know what I mean? confused
What's the point in half hearted apologies?? they mean zilch to the recipient and I think that is more hurtful in the long run.
Quote by jaymar
I only apologise if I genuinely think I'm in the wrong or if I've hurt someone mentally or physically.
In certain circumstances I may say "I'm sorry you feel..." in that respect I'm saying I'm sorry but not really admitting I'm wrong.. if you know what I mean? confused

I know what you mean babes. Spot on :thumbup:
Quote by Phuckers
Why do we really apologise?is it for absolution or out of remorse,because we are truly sorry or cos we want to feel better about ourselves?or because its expected of us when we wrong others,but do we really mean it....?
i personally rearly or never quick to apologise beacause sometimes i feel its an insult to or waste of time if your feeling about a situation/issue is still the same....why do you apologise or not!
above material is not copied and pasted

For many reasons of late the forum has been a place of bickering and argueing, for which I for one am guilty of at times. Even when a innocent thread is put up, it seems to degenerate into a big arguement.
I say things sometimes in jest that some seem to take out of context, maybe we all do at times?
Even when I did appologise for a comment I made in jest, I was still slated.
People on here Phuckers know me well enough, as deecee nicely put it the other day...A ranter like Alf Garnett. lol But.....When I am wrong ( which does not happen often ) :lol: , I am big enough to appologise and most on here know that.
I have appologised even when I think I have nothing to appologise for, just to try and calm a heated thread down. Maybe that's wrong, but at the time felt it was for the best.
It takes a big person to admit they are wrong and say sorry, and I for one respect people when they do. cool
A little while ago I would have apologised for something I wasn't to blame for, just to smooth things over and keep the peace. Nowadays I won't be walked over. It may may end up with friends not speaking but if that friendship is worth anything, it'll right itself. If not, then it was only passing ships.
Quote by kentswingers777
Why do we really apologise?is it for absolution or out of remorse,because we are truly sorry or cos we want to feel better about ourselves?or because its expected of us when we wrong others,but do we really mean it....?
i personally rearly or never quick to apologise beacause sometimes i feel its an insult to or waste of time if your feeling about a situation/issue is still the same....why do you apologise or not!
above material is not copied and pasted

For many reasons of late the forum has been a place of bickering and argueing, for which I for one am guilty of at times. Even when a innocent thread is put up, it seems to degenerate into a big arguement.
I say things sometimes in jest that some seem to take out of context, maybe we all do at times?
Even when I did appologise for a comment I made in jest, I was still slated.
People on here Phuckers know me well enough, as deecee nicely put it the other day...A ranter like Alf Garnett. lol But.....When I am wrong ( which does not happen often ) :lol: , I am big enough to appologise and most on here know that.
I have appologised even when I think I have nothing to appologise for, just to try and calm a heated thread down. Maybe that's wrong, but at the time felt it was for the best.
It takes a big person to admit they are wrong and say sorry, and I for one respect people when they do. cool
You are going soft in your old age! :lol:
keep up the hard work wink
Quote by Theladyisaminx
Why do we really apologise?is it for absolution or out of remorse,because we are truly sorry or cos we want to feel better about ourselves?or because its expected of us when we wrong others,but do we really mean it....?
i personally rearly or never quick to apologise beacause sometimes i feel its an insult to or waste of time if your feeling about a situation/issue is still the same....why do you apologise or not!
above material is not copied and pasted

For many reasons of late the forum has been a place of bickering and argueing, for which I for one am guilty of at times. Even when a innocent thread is put up, it seems to degenerate into a big arguement.
I say things sometimes in jest that some seem to take out of context, maybe we all do at times?
Even when I did appologise for a comment I made in jest, I was still slated.
People on here Phuckers know me well enough, as deecee nicely put it the other day...A ranter like Alf Garnett. lol But.....When I am wrong ( which does not happen often ) :lol: , I am big enough to appologise and most on here know that.
I have appologised even when I think I have nothing to appologise for, just to try and calm a heated thread down. Maybe that's wrong, but at the time felt it was for the best.
It takes a big person to admit they are wrong and say sorry, and I for one respect people when they do. cool
You are going soft in your old age! :lol:
keep up the hard work wink
Never soft Minxy. :hunk:
I would always say sorry and have always done so, as I don’t like to feel I have caused someone upset. But what I find hard is some people will accept the apology but you feel they haven’t forgiven you.
Quote by kentswingers777
I say things sometimes in jest that some seem to take out of context, maybe we all do at times?

We certainly do get taken out of context but it is always harder to say what you want when it is done in text and there are no facial expressions to back it up. Dont worry Kent, its not just you wink
Quote by kentswingers777
It takes a big person to admit they are wrong and say sorry, and I for one respect people when they do. cool

:thumbup: However, if I do not think I have done anything wrong, then I wont apologies, but if I have upset someone, or I feel my actions have upset someone, then I will apologies. Thact can either be for what I have done, or as Jaymar said previously, say that I am sorry they feel that way.
I think this is what used to be known 'good manners' something we dont seem to see much of these days.
say sorry...never..no need to...after all i'm a man....I'M ALWAYS RIGHT !!!! bolt
I apologise if I regret what I've done... If I don't regret what I've done and I'm not sorry then what's the point? lol
If I know I have upset someone, it is always a genuine sorry...I don't like to hurt or upset people. It's not to make me feel better, it's to explain my actions and genuinely apologise for them!
Got all excited then! :giggle:
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by Sassy-Seren
If I've knowingly wronged or hurt someone I will apologise and I expect the same in return. Sometimes you can hurt someone without realising and personally I'd prefer to be told I have and have the chance to make things better than for someone to think bad of me.

That's so true. Sometimes it is obvious someone is upset but you haven't a clue why and so it is difficult to consider an apology. But then, if they don't say, my mind starts to wonder if they in fact are being unreasonable.
.
I agree about things being taken the wrong way, with a lack ov visual clues, its too easy to misinterpret something, but alos with the addition of an emote that can APPEAR to take the sting from an abrasive comment too.
either way, if i have upset someone, or even think I have, i have to apologise, because I worry and worry about making them sad/mad/whatever. Its important for me for my apology to be accepted :shock: dont even go there about not being forgiven :shock:
On the other hand, within a 'domestic' row with Mr B I can be very stubborn and usually go silent for hours and hours rather than say im sorry.....its usually HIS fault anyway :giggle:
I will say Im sorry if I ever make him cry, cos thats when I know its a REALLY bad row and not a spat that I can ignore with a few hours of cold shoulder.
Its the most un-sincerest word in the language.
Those that demand apologies Ive found are usually the most un-sincerest and arrogant of people.
Think about it, how many times a day do you say sorry and actually mean it?
Some stranger walks past and bumps into you and says sorry. Are they genuinely sorry? Are they hell, they just use the word cos they think its polite and it gets them on their way a bit quicker than an arguement if the person they have bumped into isnt in a very good mood. You ring up some customer service advisor with a complaint. They say "terribly sorry madam" are they sorry? Are they hell, they just want to get some moaner off the phone.
When a genuine apology is warranted, you can bet yer arse you aint gonna get one!
Quote by Phuckers
Why do we really apologise?is it for absolution or out of remorse,because we are truly sorry or cos we want to feel better about ourselves?or because its expected of us when we wrong others,but do we really mean it....?
i personally rearly or never quick to apologise beacause sometimes i feel its an insult to or waste of time if your feeling about a situation/issue is still the same....why do you apologise or not!
above material is not copied and pasted

When I apologise for something, I mean it.
In recent years the misuse of an apology has been a growing technique used by people simply to get what they want. For example people come up behind you, you hear 'sorry'. Which for a moment puts you in the position of being considerate of the 'stranger', who then simply bypasses you or even more uncivilly jumps the queue ahead of you.
But some apologies are just simply useless, as they can not help solve some problems. In such cases they are only employed as a last resort in appealing to the offended.
Whilst some sense of remorse is admirable in some cases, it is also a selfish process of turning the attention back onto the offender. If you have fucked up why should you deserve brownie points for showing that you know that?
I'm sure some people do have a genuine exchange of good will during the apology process, but its a luxury others can't afford at times.
In fact I don't think there are many circumstances where an apology can be fully endorsed in the adult world. Fine for kids and youngsters, but somewhat redundant for the grown up.
Quote by helnheaven
Its the most un-sincerest word in the language.
Those that demand apologies Ive found are usually the most un-sincerest and arrogant of people.
Think about it, how many times a day do you say sorry and actually mean it?
Some stranger walks past and bumps into you and says sorry. Are they genuinely sorry? Are they hell, they just use the word cos they think its polite and it gets them on their way a bit quicker than an arguement if the person they have bumped into isnt in a very good mood. You ring up some customer service advisor with a complaint. They say "terribly sorry madam" are they sorry? Are they hell, they just want to get some moaner off the phone.
When a genuine apology is warranted, you can bet yer arse you aint gonna get one!

Ya old misery guts. lol :lol: :lol: xx
Quote by kentswingers777
Its the most un-sincerest word in the language.
Those that demand apologies Ive found are usually the most un-sincerest and arrogant of people.
Think about it, how many times a day do you say sorry and actually mean it?
Some stranger walks past and bumps into you and says sorry. Are they genuinely sorry? Are they hell, they just use the word cos they think its polite and it gets them on their way a bit quicker than an arguement if the person they have bumped into isnt in a very good mood. You ring up some customer service advisor with a complaint. They say "terribly sorry madam" are they sorry? Are they hell, they just want to get some moaner off the phone.
When a genuine apology is warranted, you can bet yer arse you aint gonna get one!

Ya old misery guts. lol :lol: :lol: xx
Nothing further from the truth. Its as I see it.
Quote by Whipsnspurs
i will only say sorry if i mean it. thats because i really think i'm wrong. or i will say sorry that a person feels a certain way having taken what i have said the wrong way.
i will slao say sorry if i bump into someone because i'm genuinely sorry for being so clumsy as to do so.
i will not say sorry if i know i'm in the right. i will also never appologise if i don't mean it.
whips

good one guys we misuse apologies and make it worst in many occassions,take example a cheating partner who everytime he/she is cuaght out keeps apologising,i find that more hurtful than to say i did a mistake i need help...
In my opinion an apology is sometimes called for out of manners towards our fellow human beings and as we all know..
Good manners cost nothing and will get you far in life unless you are wanting to change lanes on a motorway then get oot ma road. lol
Quote by woohoo
In my opinion an apology is sometimes called for out of manners towards our fellow human beings and as we all know..
Good manners cost nothing and will get you far in life unless you are wanting to change lanes on a motorway then get oot ma road. lol

I think you'll find it's my road, Woo.....
ask nicely, and I might just share wink
Quote by winchwench
I think you'll find it's my road, Woo.....
ask nicely, and I might just share wink

Fight you for it :wink: :sparring:
Stripped to the waist and with no shits or minpads or as you may well say no mitts or shinpads lol