Are all things equal on this site?

9 Jul 2004

This topic has been split from its original thread here:-
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/15071.html
after this point here:-
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewpost/102606.html#102606

I am not targeting individuals like steveg, i do not need reminding of his credentials in the munch organising arena! i have been there and done it and enjoyed it. and had it not been for steveg i would not have had the evening i did - so thanks lol

My beef is with things not appearing to be equal on this site, (and on others i might add) this subjuect has been mentioned before (and shot down) so maybe its a losing battle im fighting.

I have split this from its main topic, as I think it's no longer fair that the original thread this comes from is ruined by this side issue.
However, in the interests of thrashing this one out, and not sweeping it under the carpet - I have split this rather crucial post to here so that we may continue discussing it in The Cafe in an adult way .

9 Jul 2004

Oh FFS! I started reading the debate and now I can`t remember which bit I was editing in my style sheet confused

Too political!
I`m going to go back to my usual kind of bi-curious even though I`ve done it once in the past, swinging, even though I haven`t done it but kind of did in the past, cautious even though some people find that a turn off, self! lol

Venusxxx (going back to her web editing and chilling out) rolleyes

9 Jul 2004

I'm all for the bi-fems having a nice get together . Let them enjoy themsleves it seems to me that faciliting this sort of meeting is what this site is all about .
Equality is a more subtle state than some people seem to recognise , i feel I'm treated as equal on here , but i would not expect to go to this meet ( but boy wouldn't i like to watch it LOL)

9 Jul 2004

George Orwell said something along the lines of "we are all equall, just some are more equall than others!"
lol

seriously though,
i dont think steve advertising a meet at his own home in his own time for a a type of person that he decided on should be an issue at all.
if you look through" lets meet up" you will see most people ARE very specific about what they are looking for, ie, cpls only, single fems only, straight males only... no one has ever had an issue with this.
in this case steve (on behalf of the fems he is hoping will attend) is advertising for other bi fems to meet up with, in a safe and neutral environment........ what is the big deal?
the difference with the propposed "couples only munch" is that it would have been a munch... these are expected to be.. and SHOULD be for everyone, the only criteria being that you are an active member of this site.
saying that people would have reacted the same had they advertised a "couples only meet" is not true, as looking through "lets meet up". i could point you in the direction of many cpls only meets.
i could also point you in the direction of LOADS of posts in dogging where couples or fems ask for "straight males only", i wonder why all us fems are not up in arms about that? confused

everyone on this site IS equal.
i personally believe the problem people have with this bi-fem only meet is due to tha fact that it is a man organising it... perhaps there is a bit of jealousy that he is going to have his own personal "hereem" rolleyes

or a bit of the "why did i not think of that" going on.
if I had made a post saying iwas inviting bi fems only to my home on a certain night, would that have been an issue?
i doubt it very much.
i think personally steve should be applauded for making a selfless gesture not knocked down.
luv a (bit bi)WBB
xxxxxxxx

9 Jul 2004

Quote by well_busty_babe
i personally believe the problem people have with this bi-fem only meet

"People" is a plural.

9 Jul 2004

I've been trying so hard to keep out of this debate, 1. cos I think it will look like one mod sticking up for another if I support Steve, and 2. cos the whole damn arguement is just SILLY!
However, I just have to say that WBB is spot on with everything she says! cool

So bloody what if Steve wants to invite a gang of girls round to his house for tea and cakes? Why is it different from many of the other posts in Meet Up? Why is it different from me asking bi guys round to my house last week? Or indeed different from me inviting bi guys to my dogging meet last night? Why is it different from the several couples only parties that have been arranged via SH lately?
Maybe, as WBB says, it's cos it's a guy arranging the event for girls and the other guys are jealous? If that's the case, FFS!!!!!! rolleyes

Personally I think it is the social nature of Steve's meet that people are confusing with a munch? Well, as several people have said, a munch is TOTALLY different from a meet, social or otherwise. If you've ever been to a munch you will know the difference. If I decided to invite bi guys round to my house for tea and cakes rather than sex, would people call that a munch?
FFS.... :roll: I knew I shouldn't have replied to this thread :roll: :roll: :roll:

9 Jul 2004

I was most pleased to hear about the bifem meet. biggrin

Anyone who has ever had thoughts or feelings about the same sex knows how difficult it can be to express this to people who are not as open minded about sex as the swinging community.
As a relatively new member of this swinging community there are a lot of unspoken rules that one has to find out about, often the hardway of trial and many errors. redface

Not all women are bi, or bi-curious and as with homosexuals we do not have a sticky label on our foreheads saying : GIRLS WELCOME.
Be a little more tollerant se7endriver and open your mind as you seem the only one complaining and continuing to complian.
Support the mods who want to give opps for people to meet in a safe environment.

9 Jul 2004

Quote by well_busty_babe
i personally believe the problem people have with this bi-fem only meet is due to tha fact that it is a man organising it... perhaps there is a bit of jealousy that he is going to have his own personal "hereem" or a bit of the "why did i not think of that" going on.
if I had made a post saying i was inviting bi fems only to my home on a certain night, would that have been an issue?
i doubt it very much.
i think personally steve should be applauded for making a selfless gesture not knocked down.
luv a (bit bi)WBB
xxxxxxxx

Wbb, as already stated i am not having a dig at steve ffs! and i would have objected to your arranging a bi gathering at your house too, purely on the grounds that i saw the way the person who suggested the couples only munch was treated.............i was appauled by it.
Beleive me there is no jealousy going on and i certianly wouldnt want to arrange such a meet at my house, and if i did i wouldnt want to be present and run the risk of making a tit of myself by accedentaly covering myself in chocolate and bursting in throught the door :shock:
and as i have said before its not only applicable to this forum, there are many others i frequent that are all too similar in the way some (non regulars) people are treated.
and before anyone thinks im looking for sympathy i have not been treated badly at all on here so its not my corner im fighting - its merely an impartial observation that i commented on..

9 Jul 2004

Quote by se7endriver
Wbb, as already stated i am not having a dig at steve ffs! and i would have objected to your arranging a bi gathering at your house too, purely on the grounds that i saw the way the person who suggested the couples only munch was treated.............i was appauled by it.

so, you object to anyone who intends to only invite a specific type of person to their home....
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/15000.html
a party for bi people onlyâ€¦..is this being knocked?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/15205.html
a party for females and couples onlyâ€¦. How come this is not objected to?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/15147.html
a party for couples onlyâ€¦. Maybe I should complain that as female I am being discriminated against?
this is just the first 3 links i found on the first one and a half pages of the "lets meet up" forum, you will note that NO ONE in any of these threads has objected to "couples only" or anything like that at all.
it stands to reason then that there is nothing wrong with bi-fems only.
as it has been pointed out... what people objected to was the idea of a couples only MUNCH... a munch is asocial activity for all the active members of the site..... a private meet between people on the site is a totally different thing, and as the posts in the forum prove.... no one has any issue at all with anyones personal preference.

9 Jul 2004

Quote by se7endriver
i saw the way the person who suggested the couples only munch was treated.............i was appauled by it.

How were they mistreated? I've just flicked through that topic (it's http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/13769.html for anyone else who wants to enter the wayback machine) and I couldn't see anything wrong with the individual replies. Maybe the volume, yes... maybe there wasn't call for everyone to chip in and say exactly the same thing, but this is a busy forum. Pretty-much anything that's posted garners lots of responses.
I mean... is this mistreatment?

Quote by easy
As far as I'm aware the Munches are a social get-together rather than a shag-a-thon, so it's all if you do happen to pull then all the better.
BTW :welcome: to SH

Quote by fabio grooverider
munches are social events so what would be the point of excluding people...mind you i suppose if you only wanted to talk to other couples at them then that would be your decision..... people may find that decision in itself is anti-social...
why limit the amount of types of friends you have..... just because you are friends with people you may not want to take it further and they may not want to take it further with you either....

Quote by steveg_nw
If somebody decides to organise a couples only munch then there'd be a couples only munch. I haven't heard of anybody thinking of arranging one though. The main thing that makes the munches so popular is meeting other people off the site.

Quote by fabio grooverider
i am sorry that your wife has been pestered by single blokes in clubs... i would tell the management of the clubs you are going to...... if i see it happening as i single bloke i tell the guys to back off.......

Quote by the_tongue
If Lainy thinks shes going to be pestered to death by single guys,i think she is very sadly may,in your presence get engaged in a conversation with a single guy who may introduce himself to you both.

Quote by roger743
If there's gonna be a couples-only munch, maybe we should have a single-males-only munch too! C'mon, it'd be cool... we could gather round the bar and swap our best tips for making our cock-pics look humongus, and the most effective ways to do a/s/l in the chatroom...

Quote by RSAB2
I couldn't agree more. A munch was the first thing MR RSAB2 and I attended and we had a great time just meeting people and putting faces to names. You won't get pestered, by singles or couples you can just get to know people. You'll see!

Quote by Ian_Mids
quite simlpy we have met socially some really great single people at the munches, and one or two really scary couples. So just cos there's two of em, doesn't make them better / nicer people.
But of course those couples looking for a single person to befriend for a later date may also wish not to attend if singles were not welcomed.

Quote by Ice Pie
On the other hand, if people want to organise and attend a couples only gathering, there's nothing to stop them, and it wouldn't make any difference to the general munches as long as the dates don't clash. Live and let live. :D

I wish more people would mistreat me that way...
Yes, the couple in question did take offence...

Quote by paul vincent & lainy
I refuse to be 'cyber sighed' at merely for asking an innocent and honest question. This forum is not for us and we shall not darken your doorstep again.

...which frankly baffled me at the time, and still does. Why throw a hissy fit when you don't like the answers to a question you yourself asked? In my opinion, some people just want to be offended. evil

OTOH, reading through that old thread does make it clear who's to blame for all this... ;)

Quote by well_busty_babe
right that is it!!! :evil:
i DEMAND a single fem only much! :shock:
it will be held in the local phone box! :P

9 Jul 2004

Maybe one of the bones of contention is that it was made a sticky so itlooks like a munch. dunno

All the others have just been standard posts so they didn't stand out.
I can kind of see Mr se7endriver's point, BUT I don't think that picking Steve's post out to highlight his point has done him any favours.
What he's trying to get at is the treatment that others get at our collective hands.
Unfortunately Mr7 that's life. Some fit into one group and some don't (ask Jags, she bans some of the ones that don't every day). Those that want to fit, incorporate the ideas of how this site works and those that don't, don't.
So what's the next step? Are we going to start criticising the Mods for banning people who come on and post something moronic in their first post (like the guy whos first post was "Come on your tits WBB?"). Haven't they got just as much right to have their views aired as the people that are trying to organise meets or hijacking "hijacking" threads?
Please don't take this as a critisism of you. I'm just trying to get across the fact that there are two sides to every argument.
I should know. Do you recall my "single guys and PMs thread" I've had the collective sigh waved at me, but you accept that it's the will of the site and you abide by it.

9 Jul 2004

for roger!!! lol
have to give the couple this though... never thought of a "cyber sigh" before! roflmao
it is obvious there that no one was objecting to the couple wanting to meet coupls only.. it was the fact that they wanted to exclude everyone one else from the munches.
and no..I havent been hard done by either, cos i am half of a couple.
:twisted:

9 Jul 2004

:sleeping: :sleeping: :sleeping:

9 Jul 2004

think this is a petty argument how can anyone complain about what one do's and don't do or who they invite to there private home space has feck all to do with anyone else,
cat

9 Jul 2004

No football or tennis this week so everybody must be having PMT
agree must be making it a sticky drew too much attention as cant see why even munches cant be for whoever really - not really bothered!!!!!!!!

9 Jul 2004

RIGHT............................................. This has gone FAR ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!
DreamerHelen and i were organising a SE munch. we had all the details sorted between us and were ready to post the info when.................... Oh Look!! We found a post by Steve_D (sorry if i got the name wrong) sayin "I'm organising a London Munch." Which incidentally happened to be on the same day as WE had planned for.
Did we get the hump?? Did we throw a strop saying.... "We organised it so you back off?? you cant come cos you're stepping on our toes??" the answer, plain and simple, is NO! we just fell in with the plans and decided to go anyway.
My point is.... there are no rules on this site as to WHO organises a munch/meet, and there are also no rules as to WHO has to be invited or not!!
I've read and re read the AUP and NOWHERE does it say you have to arrange your meetings around what other people will think.
If you have a party at YOUR house, do you worry about what other people will say if you dont invite So-and-so??? personally, i dont. it's my house and i have a right to dictate who enters it. Why is a swinging meet any different? If someone chooses to only have bi fems through their door, then its THEIR HOME and they have the right to do it.
So.......... stop treating this site as if it's removed from the real world. If someone sees it fit to help their friends out by organising a bi fem meeting, then so be it. I for one would love to be there.

10 Jul 2004

Quote by Angel Chat
Yes, it's socially acceptable (and positively encouraged by many males) for us women to be bi or curious HERE,

Quote by Jags
:sleeping: :sleeping: :sleeping:

I was going to get into this â€œdebateâ€ telling you my theories of most women being potentially bi-curious and from my own experiences in my last (this) relationship and expand on the part quote from Angel above. Those of you who the situation here and those of you that think you might; will know that if I am vvvvvv lucky I might get to repeat something I haven't done since my early twenties.
I am actively encouraging C in exploring her feelings and have offered to help in anyway possible - whether I am to be 'involved' or not!!!
The second my encouragement is seen or felt by her to be persuasion is the exact moment I will step out of it.
Then Mark split the thread and I came across Jagsâ€™ quote and that put it all into perspective for me. Is it really such a big issue who organises what? If it doesnâ€™t scare the horses â€“ do it.