are married men outcasts???

19 Feb 2005

Quote by gailen
You know something?
Some of you people are such hypocrites - you spout forth about not "playing " with married men ! BUT how many of you would say the same thing about playing with a married woman??????
NOT MANY I BET!

Ermm would you like to quote anyone who has actually said that it's OK for married women but not married men??? I for one would apply the same rules to anyone who was married, or for that matter, in a permanent relationship with someone. It's the lying and deceit that is wrong, not whether it is a man or woman doing it.

19 Feb 2005

Quote by KitKat
You know something?
Some of you people are such hypocrites - you spout forth about not "playing " with married men ! BUT how many of you would say the same thing about playing with a married woman??????
NOT MANY I BET!

You would lose.
I dont think so!

19 Feb 2005

Quote by gailen
You know something?
Some of you people are such hypocrites - you spout forth about not "playing " with married men ! BUT how many of you would say the same thing about playing with a married woman??????
NOT MANY I BET!

You would lose.
I dont think so!
actually gallen... i know i have had oppotunities to and i know that i wouldn't.... again it all comes down to consent....
if the person has it then personally my conscience is clear... if not then i leave alone....
i would spout the same thing regardless of which party was married....
sean xxxxxxxx

19 Feb 2005

Quote by gailen
You know something?
Some of you people are such hypocrites - you spout forth about not "playing " with married men ! BUT how many of you would say the same thing about playing with a married woman??????
NOT MANY I BET!

You would lose.
I dont think so!
I think you should rephrase as:
BUT how many married men looking to play awaywould say the same thing about playing with a married woman??????
Then you would win.

19 Feb 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
You know something?
Some of you people are such hypocrites - you spout forth about not "playing " with married men ! BUT how many of you would say the same thing about playing with a married woman??????
NOT MANY I BET!

You would lose.
I dont think so!
actually gallen... i know i have had oppotunities to and i know that i wouldn't.... again it all comes down to consent....
if the person has it then personally my conscience is clear... if not then i leave alone....
i would spout the same thing regardless of which party was married....
sean xxxxxxxx
Fabio - you are a great guy - and i liked you when we were introduced in Leicester last week. BUT please - can you honestly tell me that you would refuse to play with a married woman?

19 Feb 2005

Quote by gailen
You know something?
Some of you people are such hypocrites - you spout forth about not "playing " with married men ! BUT how many of you would say the same thing about playing with a married woman??????
NOT MANY I BET!

You would lose.
I dont think so!
actually gallen... i know i have had oppotunities to and i know that i wouldn't.... again it all comes down to consent....
if the person has it then personally my conscience is clear... if not then i leave alone....
i would spout the same thing regardless of which party was married....
sean xxxxxxxx
Fabio - you are a great guy - and i liked you when we were introduced in Leicester last week. BUT please - can you honestly tell me that you would refuse to play with a married woman?
i can honestly say i have only played with married women who have consent to play, i don't want to be any part of any deceit....if i play in clubs and partys i ask both people if it is okay... if it private meets i talk to both.. especially if i am meeting her on my own...
like i said my conscience is clear and i have seen what adultery does to people first hand.... my mum was on the receiving end of it from my dad.......
sean xxxxxxxxxx

19 Feb 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
i can honestly say i have only played with married women who have consent to play, i don't want to be any part of any deceit....if i play in clubs and partys i ask both people if it is okay... if it private meets i talk to both.. especially if i am meeting her on my own...
like i said my conscience is clear and i have seen what adultery does to people first hand.... my mum was on the receiving end of it from my dad.......
sean xxxxxxxxxx

I can believe the bit about the clubs! - But if you were approached by a lady - whereever - you would enter into a question and answer session to find out if she was married????????????????

19 Feb 2005

I would only play with a married or attached female with consent from partner, My view is swinging is fun and everyone involved should have consent from their partners if partners not playing or be playing with their partners.
So no a married man should not be playing without his wife's consent it's effectivily a affair and vice verusa for a women
I've said my piece so bollocks to anyone who disagrees

19 Feb 2005

Quote by gailen
i can honestly say i have only played with married women who have consent to play, i don't want to be any part of any deceit....if i play in clubs and partys i ask both people if it is okay... if it private meets i talk to both.. especially if i am meeting her on my own...
like i said my conscience is clear and i have seen what adultery does to people first hand.... my mum was on the receiving end of it from my dad.......
sean xxxxxxxxxx

I can believe the bit about the clubs! - But if you were approached by a lady - whereever - you would enter into a question and answer session to find out if she was married????????????????
Gailen .. you can say that about anyone though .. and yes I have asked and yes i have refused to play with someone in a club who was married and there alone (he said that he had his wife's permission but how could I prove i?)... I don't play with anyone I don't feel totally comfortable with.
I would definitely play with a married man who I knew had his wife's ok though ... and I have done so in the past.
C x

19 Feb 2005

Quote by gailen
i can honestly say i have only played with married women who have consent to play, i don't want to be any part of any deceit....if i play in clubs and partys i ask both people if it is okay... if it private meets i talk to both.. especially if i am meeting her on my own...
like i said my conscience is clear and i have seen what adultery does to people first hand.... my mum was on the receiving end of it from my dad.......
sean xxxxxxxxxx

I can believe the bit about the clubs! - But if you were approached by a lady - whereever - you would enter into a question and answer session to find out if she was married????????????????
If I was approached out of the blue by a lady wanting sex | would either be looking for the cameras or wanting to know how much she charged. :shock: :shock:

20 Feb 2005

Thought I'd throw this in... (then take cover :shock: )
Some of the comments about George C and Brad P in this thread were interesting:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/35858.html
If either of them were married or in long term relationships, would that have made a difference to your replies? The same, of course, would apply to female celebs such as Jennifer Aniston etc

20 Feb 2005

Quote by rogerthedragon
If I was approached out of the blue by a lady wanting sex | would either be looking for the cameras or wanting to know how much she charged. :shock: :shock:

But Roger - it happens! nad if and when it does - would any guy really honestly ask questions first???
*sorry - i know you want to fuck my brains out - but can i ask you a couple of questions first?*
Cant see it myself- sorry!

20 Feb 2005

MY OPINION.............. (For what it's worth)
Married men or women who swing with their partners kowledge and consent are more than welcome to do so.......
Mariied men or women who swing behind their partners back and without their consent are not welcome.........
REASON........
Coz they are cheating and I wont help anyone hurt another................... and thats what they will do when caught...
Secondly.... when we swing we are accepting the risks that go with this lifestyle...... If u have a partner and dont tell them......... then u r forcing the risks on them without their knowledge.....
EVERYONE has the right to choose........... and that should include a none swinging partner.
OK..... climbing off my soap box now.........lol lol

20 Feb 2005

Quote by gailen

If I was approached out of the blue by a lady wanting sex | would either be looking for the cameras or wanting to know how much she charged. :shock: :shock:

But Roger - it happens! nad if and when it does - would any guy really honestly ask questions first???
*sorry - i know you want to fuck my brains out - but can i ask you a couple of questions first?*
Cant see it myself- sorry!
It might be a swingers site and yes we go in for fucking other people but it doesn't mean that you leave ALL your morals at the door! Your making it sound like people do .. .tempted with a naked/willing female that people won't ask questions first!
C x

20 Feb 2005

Quote by gailen

If I was approached out of the blue by a lady wanting sex | would either be looking for the cameras or wanting to know how much she charged. :shock: :shock:

But Roger - it happens! nad if and when it does - would any guy really honestly ask questions first???
*sorry - i know you want to fuck my brains out - but can i ask you a couple of questions first?*
Cant see it myself- sorry!
LOL - I see your point, and I'll be honest and say her marital status might not be a topic until the relaxing afterwards stage. lol

Roger the Dragon (Morally corrupt but having fun. wink

)

20 Feb 2005

Quote by Calista
It might be a swingers site and yes we go in for fucking other people but it doesn't mean that you leave ALL your morals at the door! Your making it sound like people do .. .tempted with a naked/willing female that people won't ask questions first!
C x

Yes i am making it sound like that! Because thats how i believe it is! - SO many couples are looking ofr the elusive bi single female that i really belive if one cam along - NO questions would be asked! Totally the opposite for single guys (married or otherwise)

20 Feb 2005

Quote by gailen

It might be a swingers site and yes we go in for fucking other people but it doesn't mean that you leave ALL your morals at the door! Your making it sound like people do .. .tempted with a naked/willing female that people won't ask questions first!
C x

Yes i am making it sound like that! Because thats how i believe it is! - SO many couples are looking ofr the elusive bi single female that i really belive if one cam along - NO questions would be asked! Totally the opposite for single guys (married or otherwise)
Can you give me proof of this? Can you show me any posts where people have confirmed this theory ... "single" bi females are available they are just careful at protectng their anonymity for some obvious reasons. There are married bi females who play alone (with partners consent) as well.
I have seen no evidence of the accusations you have made .. .yes married men get bad press but you can hardly blame people for not wanting to get involved and married females don't come on and advertise themselves so readily. The married females I do know on here have non interested partners who know they swing!

20 Feb 2005

Quote by Calista
Can you give me proof of this? Can you show me any posts where people have confirmed this theory ... "single" bi females are available they are just careful at protectng their anonymity for some obvious reasons. There are married bi females who play alone (with partners consent) as well.
I have seen no evidence of the accusations you have made .. .yes married men get bad press but you can hardly blame people for not wanting to get involved and married females don't come on and advertise themselves so readily. The married females I do know on here have non interested partners who know they swing!

So what about the married males who have partners who show NO INTEREST ? - different story HUH?

20 Feb 2005

Quote by gailen
So what about the married males who have partners who show NO INTEREST ? - different story HUH?

You misread my sentence ( quite possibly my fault it's late and I'm tired) I mean they have no interest in swinging.
If married people (men OR women) have partners who have no interest in a sexual relationship then that's their problem to deal with ~ cheating just makes it worse. If the desire to have sex is so great then the least they could do is explain it to their partners or try to help sort the problem.
Trust me ........ cheating and getting caught is a whole different kettle of fish and could involve another person (quite innocently).
If people are happy to play with "single" married people without talking to the partner then that's upto then .. I don't want to judge.
However, for those who aren't happy to play then they should ask these questions and I do believe the majority would ask male or female.

20 Feb 2005

I guess it comes down to a basic question of Honesty.
if someone is going to lie about their Social status, you can't know what else they will lie about.
That's not someone you really want to know, let alone do 'the beast with two back's' with.

20 Feb 2005

Quote by Calista
If married people (men OR women) have partners who have no interest in a sexual relationship then that's their problem to deal with ~ cheating just makes it worse. If the desire to have sex is so great then the least they could do is explain it to their partners or try to help sort the problem.

And if there is no outcome that is suitable for both partners, they either separate or one cheats....
Life is like that. Look at the divorce rate that is blamed on sexual incompatability.

20 Feb 2005

Quote by Calista
If married people (men OR women) have partners who have no interest in a sexual relationship then that's their problem to deal with ~ cheating just makes it worse. If the desire to have sex is so great then the least they could do is explain it to their partners or try to help sort the problem.
Trust me ........ cheating and getting caught is a whole different kettle of fish and could involve another person (quite innocently).
If people are happy to play with "single" married people without talking to the partner then that's upto then .. I don't want to judge.
However, for those who aren't happy to play then they should ask these questions and I do believe the majority would ask male or female.

OK - maybe i misread your message! BUT i think you are misreading mine!
WHAT ABOUT - the married guy who dearly loves his wife? - wouldnt hurt her for the world? BUT - she has no interest in sex - in any way shape or form? (this may be alien to some of you people - but bear with me!). For what ever reason - he will not leave her because he loves her! - JUST what is he supposed to do? (and ladies are in this position too!)
NOW! - you people who are swingers - and will have sex with almost (repeat ALMOST) anyone - seem to think that you are holier than thou by saying that you wont have sex with a married man (if he is so called cheating). I still maintain that you would not be so discriminatory if a female was invlolved?????
I repeat the phrase i made earlier " hi - id like to fuck your brains out!*
OK - but are you married or single? does your husband know? do you have his permission? -
I dont think anyone on here would bother!!!!
*and please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im only trying to make a point - not having "a GO" at anyone in particular!*

20 Feb 2005

Oh not this one again!!
Only one comment, what gives any of us the right to make (moral) judgements about someone elses relationship?
Can anyone whos in a long term relationship honestly say they have never witheld the truth form their partner, never sneeaked a new pair of shoes into the house hoping he wouldnt notice, never said they were working late and gone to the pub, never used the credit car and hoped she wouldnt look at the statement?
Whats the diference ?
I know i said one thing but i do think there is a tendancy , on here, to treat married men like little boys, not old enough to make their own decissions.
Anyway , some of them are bloody good fucks!!

20 Feb 2005

Quote by foxylady 123
Oh not this one again!!
Only one comment, what gives any of us the right to make (moral) judgements about someone elses relationship?
Can anyone whos in a long term relationship honestly say they have never witheld the truth form their partner, never sneeaked a new pair of shoes into the house hoping he wouldnt notice, never said they were working late and gone to the pub, never used the credit car and hoped she wouldnt look at the statement?
Whats the diference ?
I know i said one thing but i do think there is a tendancy , on here, to treat married men like little boys, not old enough to make their own decissions.
Anyway , some of them are bloody good fucks!!

well said foxylady!

20 Feb 2005

Quote by kinkyred99
There are lots of married people whose relationships change over time - for whatever reason. There are lots of married people who have very different views from their partners and why shouldnt they? The bottom line is we are all individuals, and I can think of much worse faults in a husband than him having sex with someone else.

This seems so true. To some married/attached guys who want to play away it may not seem such a crime, PURELY because they see it as ONLY sex. Im absolutely certain that there are worse crimes to commit against a so called loved one.
However Its about different perspectives. I would argue that if I was secretly gambling away our family income and lying about where the money was going, that to me should represent at least an equal crime ,particularly when you consider the possible outcome (family break up, children deprived financially, no heating, baliffs etc etc etc ) Both crimes hurt your loved ones as a result of YOUR self indulgence.
In short, regardless of how harmless YOU regard your crime, if you know for sure that what you are doing would crush your loved one(partner) or loved ones(children) no matter how much youve cleansed your conscience, you really really need to reconsider your actions.
There are exceptions to every rule but I personally can not understand how any one can cause wanton hurt to a partner.

20 Feb 2005

Quote by gailen
OK - maybe i misread your message! BUT i think you are misreading mine!
WHAT ABOUT - the married guy who dearly loves his wife? - wouldnt hurt her for the world? BUT - she has no interest in sex - in any way shape or form? (this may be alien to some of you people - but bear with me!). For what ever reason - he will not leave her because he loves her! - JUST what is he supposed to do? (and ladies are in this position too!)
So her loves her so much and so dearly that he wouldn't want to hurt her .... but he can't be honest and sneaks around behind her back cheating on her? Some kin of love that is!
NOW! - you people who are swingers - and will have sex with almost (repeat ALMOST) anyone - seem to think that you are holier than thou by saying that you wont have sex with a married man (if he is so called cheating). I still maintain that you would not be so discriminatory if a female was invlolved?????
That's a very moralistic view of swingers ~ we don't necessarily have sex with almost anyone and those that do are quite possibly in the minority, most people on here are choosy. Who has given the holier than thou attitude?? If people choose to sleep with cheaters then ok that's their right to do so and is none of my business, it doesn't make me think less of them ... just that I choose not too.
I repeat the phrase i made earlier " hi - id like to fuck your brains out!*
OK - but are you married or single? does your husband know? do you have his permission? -
I dont think anyone on here would bother!!!!
I'd bother and I know a fair few who feel the same ... don't tar everyone with the poor image you have of a swinger. We're swingers not a support group for or called cheaters anonymous
*and please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im only trying to make a point - not having "a GO" at anyone in particular!*
I'd suggest losing the capitalised words (it's taken as shouting) and the overexagerated punctuation, and the image you have that all swingers have no boundaries - we are a diverse bunch and one person's drink is another persons poison.

20 Feb 2005

Quote by Calista
I'd suggest losing the capitalised words (it's taken as shouting) and the overexagerated punctuation, and the image you have that all swingers have no boundaries - we are a diverse bunch and one person's drink is another persons poison.

I agree! - and i know the rules about "shouting". i don't think i need english lessons either!
My image of swingers is not what you think! I'm merely trying to make apoint that males are treated differently to females on here! which is something that no-one has adressed yet!
I actually agree with a lot of what you have said!

20 Feb 2005

! I'm merely trying to make apoint that males are treated differently to females on here! which is something that no-one has adressed yet!

I don't know that male's are treated any differently than women are.
The reaction is pretty much the same on the forum as in real life.
It's just that communicating by text loses certain subtleties a woman or man might not pick up on because of the perspectives they have.
The issue here, is about married men, and that's a whole other issue.
Let's not get into the whole Grammer pissing contest though, as I don't think everyone here is perfect in that department, nor is it relevant unless communication breaks down as a result. ;)
It's just a forum.

20 Feb 2005

Quote by gailen
I still maintain that you would not be so discriminatory if a female was invlolved?????
I repeat the phrase i made earlier " hi - id like to fuck your brains out!*
OK - but are you married or single? does your husband know? do you have his permission? -
I dont think anyone on here would bother!!!!

Gailen~
If that is what you truly think regarding everyone here, then you are most certainly wrong. Please do not make such broad generalisations when each of us is a unique individual with different desires, morals, expectations and approaches to swinging.
Let's take myself for example: Let's say I was approached by a stunningly beautiful woman who wanted to shag my barins out. Here's what I would do:
1) Introduce her to my wife, Vix.
2) The three of us would sit down and have a chat, perhaps over a few drinks, and all get to know each other. During the course of this chat, we'd be certain to broach the topic of past and current relationships. If the woman gave any indication of being involved in a relationship with another - whether married or not - we'd ask to set up a future meet where all four of us could get together. If she refused, that would be that. I don't even care if she has "consent", I'd want to hear it from her partner.
3) Provided she was truly single, we'd take her home and fuck her. However, if it turned out she did have a partner (and all of the requirements for a meet with both of them were met, etc), we'd take them home and fuck them both.
~Reese

20 Feb 2005

Without being patronising, could I say that this is one of the most interesting threads I've read on the net. Blows the shit out of moralists arguments about swingers.
From my own point of view, I have a wife who is loving and loyal and I would never want to upset her, can't dodge knives that fast, but I have tasted a great deal more of life, sexually speaking. She would find this site repugnant but I wish to go further. What do I do? Leave her because of my sex drie or stay and become a frurated old(er) man? Or do I go out and try to identify people and practices she may be welcome to being introduced to. When we met she shied away from using fingers on herself and now goes for it with gusto.
So if I led the way in bringing that experience about, and I was upfront with my corespondents, would I be cheating?
Blanket views are hard to throw over an area such as this. confused