Bloke,
thanks mate, but don't get yourself into trouble for me.
The point is, you don't know ALL the facts.
Like I said before, it would have made a big difference if I came out with all the facts in my first post.
Looks like I got myself into trouble by telling you all how stupid I was, but c'est la vie.
I was being honest because people on here looked really nice and friendly, now I'm getting slaughtered.
Perhaps I shouldn't have been so open, we would still be one big, happy family
Bloke, your partner says "popping down to pub for a few" and aint back that night, or the next day, what do you do, start trying the phone, no answer.., check with BiBs to see if been arrested, nope.... check hospitals for unidentified admissions, no joy.................
end of that day an still nothing, you crawling up the wall yet with worry, I know I would be
What came into my mind was what if his "wife" had found someone new and couldn't move forward with this new relationship ... if you're going to dump someone like that then at least get the divorce out of the way so the other person can get on with life.
C x
Just a thought………..
Guys who are married and come on here and admit to cheating on their partners are THICK!!
Straight away they alienate a large number of members and often are subjected to criticism.
Now, what they should do is say that they are single/divorced etc. Get known on the forum, go to a munchie, get invited to a party and if they behave themselves they will probably get sex.
What they actually do is come on to the site and say “at least I’m honest†We know they’re not honest because they admit to wanting to cheat.
(I don’t condone such behaviour)
My point is – there could be single guys on here who have been a little bit clever.
Well, I've not read KA's original post, so what I have to say is not related to that. I've been thinking about the question that started all this "Are married men outcasts?"
OK - easy answer - if you were outcasts then the moment you said on here "I am married and my husband/wife does not know I am here" you would be banned.
So no, you are not outcasts, and in that context the question is rediculous. So, what was the question talking about. Given the nature of the discussion following - it can only be one thing: Why are there some swingers that will reject the idea of swinging with married men/women without taking the time to get to know them and making that decision based on the individual, not on his/her marital status?
Our personal answer is this:
We are not defined by being swingers. Kit and I have a set of personal attitudes and values which allow us to swing as a couple. We did not get those values from swinging, we brought them with us. One of those values is: We do not do anything outside of our marriage. When we swing, we are bringing other people into our relationship, not excluding each other from it.
We are not able to swing with someone behind their partners back without feeling guilt. That guilt will spoil things for us. So we choose not to do it.
Side issues: When a man or woman comes on here saying "I am married, love my partner, and do not want to hurt them for the world, but I need something a bit extra which he/she cannot give" . This leaves me wanting to ask the question "If you were getting your bit extra at home, would you be looking to swing? I love Kit dearly. When I watch someone shagging her, male or female, it will not be because she is some sort of second rate stand in.
Second side issue: Hypothetical situation: Kit and I decide to break the rules for once because we are really turned on by a married man that we chat to. His wife finds out. He loves his wife, and would do anything to avoid the break up of the marriage. So he asks:
"What can I do to fix this?"
Her answer "Tell me who it is, because I want to make them suffer"
He loves her. Is he going to stand by his wife or his swinging partners?
Third side issue: I recently had a good friend talk to me about an affair she was having. She knew I would strongly disapprove, if fact, the reason she spoke to me was because she wanted me to tell her to stop. She also knew that I the fact that I knew about her affair would not affect the way I thought about her. She is still my friend, she is not an outcast. The disapproval Kit and I feel about affairs, cheating, playing away, whatever you want to call it, is something that is a constant with our non-swinging friends, and with out swinging friends. It is also a constant that we would not allow that affair, cheating, playing away to affect our friendships.
lhk
Kat
okay, okay, sorry - and that made me laugh.. I'm a good guy and just thought he got a bit of a roasting and seemed like an okay bloke..
