Are you a Role Player?

19 Sep 2007

I'm not me. Honestly. I'm a fraud. If I was to ask you all to describe my posting persona, words like "outgoing" would no doubt be used (be nice!)
In reality, underneath the big hair & the pink frills lies a quiet, jibbering wreck. My lack of confidence is acute. I won't ask where something is in the supermarket because I'm afraid I'll make a fool of myself.
However, I can put on a costume & entertain the paying public, appearing full of confidence & fun. It's something I love doing, and when I've done it the combination of the costume & the setting allows me to step into another world and assume another persona.
I have a close friend who does pretty much the same thing, but to a greater extent- he's employed to live his role, whereas I just dip in & out occasionally. When talking to him about this, I emphasised that for him to play his role so well took confidence, and that coinfidence must be inside him somewhere. He needs to "meet himself in the middle" and allow himself to thrive. I know I should do the same.
However, this isn't a "look at me I need sympathy" etc post. The above was just an explanation of my train of thought. Anyone offering sympathy will be keel-hauled lol

Am I (I think not) alone? Do you spend some of your life "Role Playing?" I can bullshit confidence really well. How many of you do the same?
Who elses posting style is poles apart from the real them?
Food for thought, ye scurvy bilge rats! (Had to make the effort :lol smile

Wallflower, I mean Winchy. XX

19 Sep 2007

Quote by winchwench
Am I (I think not) alone? Do you spend some of your life "Role Playing?" I can bullshit confidence really well. How many of you do the same?
Who elses posting style is poles apart from the real them?

I can be confident in front of a room full of children. I can, and do, 'act out' characters and do all the silly voices etc. to get across a teaching point. I can't do that in front of a room full of adults.
I am just like my posting style in real life. Honest and blunt, that's me. Hard as nails. confused

Markz, don't even think about posting what I think you will!

19 Sep 2007

I play at work all the time. I am a confident, professional person on the outside and a gibbering wreck on the inside.
There are clearly 2 people in my life working Keeno and private Keeno
Even during my spells of depression I can function better at work in the role than I do at home when I am been me.

19 Sep 2007

I can "act" confident but deep down im generally shitting myself thinking about what people think of me!, for example my little girl started school 2 wks ago and I was crapping myself thinking, I have to stand at the gates with all the other mums and dads and what if they speak to me, will I say something to make myself look stupid.

19 Sep 2007

I think we can all put on a bit of an act if it helps us get through a situation. I don't think there is anything wrong in that confused

I'm different depending on who I am with. If I'm in a room full of people I don't know you'll find me sitting up a corner but if I know a lot of people or the circle of friends I am with are 'good' friends then my confidence rockets. I can be the life and soul of a party or a mouse I guess dunno

One thing I can't do, never been able to, is to talk infront of others such as in a lecture or a do a thank you speech at a party and that annoys me rolleyes

19 Sep 2007

I would say that in different situations people act in different ways but to a greater or lesser extent dependant on the cxharacter trait of the person. I am myself usually confident loud and in your face.
I would think that I learned to become the person I am. Possibly to cover up what I would consider my own deficiencies. One of two choices really. Either try and hide so that nobody notices I am there and die a thousand deaths when they do. Or, i'm upfront and larger than life not apologising for taking up space. Maybe even assuming the role of the fool and self deprecating before anyone else gets the possibility of laughing at me. All some sort of self defence mechanism.
King of Clowns sort of thing. Do unto myself before others get the chance to do unto me. Sort of thing. But it is who I am, like or loath me and I dont apologise for being me. Thogh sometimes I don't like me.

19 Sep 2007

I quiver at the knees when put in a situation where I need to talk to a beautiful woman in a public situation. Everything comes out wrong and I loose the power of speech.
Yet in my line of work and when meeting people from this and other sites I seem to thrive off the "meeting with strangers" scenario.
Weird!

19 Sep 2007

lyns and winchwench, we could be the same person, that is so like me. I come across as confident on here and in the job I do, but the same as lyns, hate doing the school agte thing as I always worry about what other people think of me.
Actually thats a HUGE part of my debilitating depression, I try to be the nicest, kindest person I can be, not because I need to be, but because I WANT to be, a sort of do-as-you-would-be-done-by thing.
If I think that someone thinks bad of me, for whatever reason, even if they are not, this absolutely cripples me inside, it will play on my mind, I will worry myself into a frenzy about what must they think of me, I will lose sleep, my appetite
etc.
This also extends to the way my hubby and kids act, if one of my kids plays up in public or Mr Bone has upset someone with his blunt talking or lack of tact, I will think that other people will see that as a reflection on me, and therefore think I am a bad person because of their misdeeds.
Hate also using the phone, asking for something, dealing with people in shops, gasmen etc
Daft I know, but over the years I have learned to hide it well behind a mask of confidence, and thats what helps me through life, otherwise I would be a blithering idiot!!! (oi who said I was ?? lol

)
But there are still days when i let my 'ring of confidence' slip. Lost is also right too, it helps to hide behind humour too, as a) it deflects attention away from your shortcomings, and it also makes people smile to, and thats whats most important to me, making people smile, because if I make others happy, then I am happy.
Now I have revealed my achilles heel, I have left myself wide open to attack....I hope there are no supervillains or dastardly henchmen reading this!! :lol:

19 Sep 2007

I'm coming back to this as soon as I have some feedback to base my reply on cool

19 Sep 2007

When I'm at work I'm very confident. I'm in a situation where I know what I'm doing and I surprise myself at times - I do get nervous about things but I can stand up and give a presentation to lots of people (although the first time I did it my legs were shaking so much I had to hold onto the table to stop myself falling over redface

). I can make snap decisions, I can debate a point well and I'm good at promoting myself and my team but in my real life, I can be shy with lots of people I don't know, I don't really like unknown situations (I'm really scared of going to my first munch), I even really dither about posing on here and I can be very self conscious in my body image and my personality.
I think though that when I'm at work I put my work head on and everything just falls into place. I've just never found a confident 'me' head.
I'm not sure that makes sense to anyone reading but it does in my head!

19 Sep 2007

Quote by Bonedigger
lyns and winchwench, we could be the same person, that is so like me. I come across as confident on here and in the job I do, but the same as lyns, hate doing the school agte thing as I always worry about what other people think of me.
Actually thats a HUGE part of my debilitating depression, I try to be the nicest, kindest person I can be, not because I need to be, but because I WANT to be, a sort of do-as-you-would-be-done-by thing.
If I think that someone thinks bad of me, for whatever reason, even if they are not, this absolutely cripples me inside, it will play on my mind, I will worry myself into a frenzy about what must they think of me, I will lose sleep, my appetite
etc.
This also extends to the way my hubby and kids act, if one of my kids plays up in public or Mr Bone has upset someone with his blunt talking or lack of tact, I will think that other people will see that as a reflection on me, and therefore think I am a bad person because of their misdeeds.
Hate also using the phone, asking for something, dealing with people in shops, gasmen etc
Daft I know, but over the years I have learned to hide it well behind a mask of confidence, and thats what helps me through life, otherwise I would be a blithering idiot!!! (oi who said I was ?? )
But there are still days when i let my 'ring of confidence' slip. Lost is also right too, it helps to hide behind humour too, as a) it deflects attention away from your shortcomings, and it also makes people smile to, and thats whats most important to me, making people smile, because if I make others happy, then I am happy.
Now I have revealed my achilles heel, I have left myself wide open to attack....I hope there are no supervillains or dastardly henchmen reading this!! :lol:

mrs B this could be me posting!!

19 Sep 2007

I do find it to be role-play when dressed as gimp or nurse... though French Maid feels perfectly natural to me these days
lp
ahh, errmm... you didn't quite mean that did you?

19 Sep 2007

Sorry not to have been back to this sooner, someone attempted to improve my connection rolleyes

So as I thought, I'm far from alone then.
Is there anyone here (apart from FB, who is just plain loon

anyway) Who is genuinely confident?
By that I don't just mean those among us who bullshit confidence on a daily basis, but someone whose confidence wouldn't be shattered by negative remarks etc. People who can ride the blows without crumpling like origami? dunno

Are we all bullshitting? In which case surely we needn't try anymore. The only problem if we all revert to our inner gibbering wreck is there won't be enough corners for eveyone at munches.
Oh, and we'd never get laid confused

19 Sep 2007

Quote by winchwench
Sorry not to have been back to this sooner, someone attempted to improve my connection
So as I thought, I'm far from alone then.
Is there anyone here (apart from FB, who is just plain anyway) Who is genuinely confident?
By that I don't just mean those among us who bullshit confidence on a daily basis, but someone whose confidence wouldn't be shattered by negative remarks etc. People who can ride the blows without crumpling like origami?
Are we all bullshitting? In which case surely we needn't try anymore. The only problem if we all revert to our inner gibbering wreck is there won't be enough corners for eveyone at munches.

Oh, and we'd never get laid

I do, and I'm :loon: allegedly :smug:
Cheeky cow, by the way! smackbottom

I wouldn't say I'm a gibbering wreck at all, but I may not be as confident as you (and possibly others on here) think, actually wink

19 Sep 2007

Quote by winchwench
Is there anyone here (apart from FB, who is just plain anyway) Who is genuinely confident?

My posting style reflects me in real life. What you see is what you get biggrin

Sure I have moments of self doubt but I have the confidence to ask for help/advice etc despite the fact that I may make a complete tit of myself :lol2: And trust me I have done that more than a few times :giggle:
Dawn if you need help with giving presentations, public speaking etc I can help you if you want dunno

I used to teach Uni students on how to speak in public :lol2:

19 Sep 2007

sorry, I thought I'd made it clear in my earlier reply...
yup; bullshitter wave

19 Sep 2007

Like most here, confident at work because I have to be. Away from work not very confident at all which can be quite debilitating, especially on a site like this confused

Im great on the phone, msn etc but face to face I reduce to a jibbering wreck or make myself look like a right numpty. I laugh lots but sometimes thats just my firewall to hide behind. Once I know someone I settle down and Im my usual 'blonde' self lol

19 Sep 2007

Quote by flower411

I do, and I'm allegedly :smug:
Cheeky cow, by the way!
I wouldn't say I'm a gibbering wreck at all, but I may not be as confident as you (and possibly others on here) think, actually

You mean to say you`re just a little sweety that lets her alter ego come out while hiding in the safety of annonimity ??
Like Me !!! lol

:lol: I wouldn't go quite that far either!

19 Sep 2007

I'm at my worst on the phone, and will avoid any phone conversations at all cost confused

Texting is a lifeline to me!
LP.....PM incoming!

19 Sep 2007

Quote by winchwench
LP.....PM incoming!

what :shock:
It wasn't me, I wasn't there... it was him... yup,that's it, him over there.... saw him... see?.. he's doing a runner as we speak... bolt

I'm off after him, may be gone a while
lp

19 Sep 2007

Quote by winchwench
I'm at my worst on the phone, and will avoid any phone conversations at all cost Texting is a lifeline to me!
LP.....PM incoming!

I bluddy hate the phone ..it scares me :scared: :scared:

19 Sep 2007

Quote by Shireen
Dawn if you need help with giving presentations, public speaking etc I can help you if you want I used to teach Uni students on how to speak in public :lol2:

Already had lessons, was pointless. Not putting myself through it again, I just refuse to do the work rolleyes

Quote by winchwench
I'm at my worst on the phone, and will avoid any phone conversations at all cost Texting is a lifeline to me!
LP.....PM incoming!

Same for me redface

I'll talk to Shireen and family for hours but I hate talking to anyone else. At my worst, I don't answer the home phone because I don't know who it is. I can send massive amounts of text just so I don't have to call someone :roll:

19 Sep 2007

Sod ya then Dawn :2fingers: :2fingers: :2fingers:
:giggle: bolt

19 Sep 2007

Quote by Dawnie

Dawn if you need help with giving presentations, public speaking etc I can help you if you want I used to teach Uni students on how to speak in public :lol2:

Already had lessons, was pointless. Not putting myself through it again, I just refuse to do the work rolleyes

Quote by winchwench
I'm at my worst on the phone, and will avoid any phone conversations at all cost Texting is a lifeline to me!
LP.....PM incoming!

Same for me redface

I'll talk to Shireen and family for hours but I hate talking to anyone else. At my worst, I don't answer the home phone because I don't know who it is. I can send massive amounts of text just so I don't have to call someone :roll:
Our DECT phones with caller ID have made that somewhat easier worship

If a number is unknown/withheld it depend on how I feel at the time if I answer it or not.

19 Sep 2007

Quote by winchwench
Our DECT phones with caller ID have made that somewhat easier If a number is unknown/withheld it depend on how I feel at the time if I answer it or not.

I don't answer withheald numbers on my mobile. I will only amswer numbers I don't know if they have the local codes before them.
If your names not on my list, I not picking up :lol2:

19 Sep 2007

we all hate talking on the phone, and yet so many of us come across really loud and lairy on here....ah the marvels of internet forum posting lol

I wouldnt say boo to a goose in real life, I am at my most comfortable with the under 3's and can do a mean hokey cokey with a group of toddlers, other than that, I am a withering wall flower.

19 Sep 2007

Quote by Dawnie
I'm at my worst on the phone, and will avoid any phone conversations at all cost Texting is a lifeline to me!
LP.....PM incoming!

Same for me redface

I'm the same, talking on the phone really scares me.....and I don't answer my landline unless I know for sure who it is.
I guess that if people meet me in a work or even some social settings they would see me as being very confident, but in actual fact, deep down I'm painfully shy. A lot of people don't understand this when I say that I'm shy, and it's only when people get to know me better that they begin to see it. I'm aware that a lot of people when they first meet me think I'm arrogant or as most of my best pals have said, they thought I was 'up my own arse' until they got to know me better.
I guess I do put on an act to some extend to mask this.....it's not because I thing there's anything wrong with being shy, it can be quite endearing in some people, but I guess that I worry that people will see it as a weakness and exploit it, so I put up my barriers and don't let them see that side of me.
If I tell people that I don't know that well that I'm shy, they just laugh it off and say that I can't be because I have nothing to be shy about, but deep down, I really am. My mum is exactly the same as me, and I guess that after seeing the way she deals with it I've followed her lead in how to behave.

19 Sep 2007

Quote by poshkate
My mum is exactly the same as me

can I have her number........ rolleyes

19 Sep 2007

Quote by markz

My mum is exactly the same as me

can I have her number........ rolleyes

bugger off smackbottom

19 Sep 2007

Quote by poshkate

My mum is exactly the same as me

can I have her number........ rolleyes

bugger off smackbottom

is that a no then or a maybe..... biggrin