Has anyone here got experience of dealing with difficult teenagers? A group of teenagers near where we live have been making our life quite difficult, kicking balls at our windows deliberately and shouting abuse at us in the street. It has got so bad that Lene can't go out in the evening on her own. We've been in contact with the local police, but they haven't been much help. They didn't even speak to the teenagers directly and seemed to be advising that we just accept the situation. They made comments like, it is very rare for there to be any violence in these situations. Quite how they can make this judgement without actually even speaking to the teenagers amazes me. The teenagers are from a housing association, so I have emailed their landlord. I've also contacted the council and even our local MP. I've taken the ball temporarily off of the teenagers before, but I don't want to risk doing that on a regular basis. Confronting them myself just seems to be agravating the situation. I'm thinking maybe I should just declare the area a dogging zone to create a distraction Seriously though does anyone have any advice? Or have you experienced similar problems?
Quote by TimandLene Has anyone here got experience of dealing with difficult teenagers? yes! A group of teenagers near where we live have been making our life quite difficult, kicking balls at our windows deliberately and shouting abuse at us in the street. It has got so bad that Lene can't go out in the evening on her own. Why can't she go out alone - are they threatening her? If so, surely something could be done? Is it just you (and specific abuse) or do they do it to anyone else? If it affects other people, see if they will call the police too, to add weight to the complaint. We've been in contact with the local police, but they haven't been much help. They didn't even speak to the teenagers directly and seemed to be advising that we just accept the situation. They made comments like, it is very rare for there to be any violence in these situations. Quite how they can make this judgement without actually even speaking to the teenagers amazes me. Maybe they've seen examples of the kind of behaviour before and know without speaking to the teenagers? The teenagers are from a housing association, so I have emailed their landlord. I've also contacted the council and even our local MP. Sounds reasonable. I've taken the ball temporarily off of the teenagers before, but I don't want to risk doing that on a regular basis. Confronting them myself just seems to be agravating the situation. Yes, I'd think that would aggravate the situation. If it's just you that they are continuing to be abusive to, maybe ignoring them is worth a try? I'm thinking maybe I should just declare the area a dogging zone to create a distraction Seriously though does anyone have any advice? Or have you experienced similar problems?
Thanks Frecklebird, the abuse seems to be just directed at us. They kicked the ball at our door a few weeks ago, and without my knowledge Lene went out and had a go at them. She is from Switzerland and they don't really experience this kind of behaviour in her former town. I went out to support her and there was a massive argument. Since then they have been targeting us, hoping to get a similar reaction. We are now trying to ignore the behaviour, however, I am complaining to literally everyone I can think of to put pressure on the police and their housing association to take action. The behaviour is intimidating. For example one teenager went up to her grabbed his crotch and shouted fuck you at her. This was in the context of an argument we were having with them after they had decided to take penalty kicks against our front door.
Depends on how many... and if your deliberatly trying to pee them off too.. try to remember you were young once.. had a bit of attitude etc.. Yes its irritating but taking the ball etc will just make them think your a dick.. The more fuss you make the more they will like it and dare each other to Pee you off even more... The trouble is nothing can be done till a crime is commited and witnessed! Advice here would be to try to relate with them, yes its hard.. but a friendly nod etc goes alot further than trying to fight them.. and the fact they are from a housing association means nothing lol... I mean come on.. Kids are kids good or bad from wherever they live right?? Seriously... Try to build bridges.. make it known your not the dick head they now think you are.. try to chat with them, make them see your not against them or a snob etc.. I bet you you soon find they leave you be. If that fails... Move! Mike x
I can understand that it's really difficult, but if it's just you (and I don't mean that in a belittling way), I would try to ignore them - they'll get bored if they're not getting a reaction.
Thanks for your post Mike. There are about 15 of them. Seriously we are not trying to wind them up. I did however initially make the mistake of responding to their attempts to wind us up. When I took the ball it was because they were kicking the ball closer and closer to Lene. I felt they were doing this deliberately and took the ball. Yes, we should have probably just gone inside instead of carrying on with the argument, but I am human and I lost my temper. I work for a college in a rough area of London so I have some experience of relating to teenagers and we have no problem getting on with our neighbours teenagers. I have tried reasoning with the teenagers but they just took the piss and began taking penalty kicks at my door as soon as I went inside. I will certainly try being more friendly to them in the future if things calm down, but at the moment I have decided to stay clear of them. Both Lene and I live in a housing association property as well, as part of a shared ownership agreement.
Quote by Freckledbird I can understand that it's really difficult, but if it's just you (and I don't mean that in a belittling way), I would try to ignore them - they'll get bored if they're not getting a reaction.
Thanks Frecklebird, that is the advice my Dad gave as well. Although he did also suggest I keep complain to the council and anyone else I can think of. I am not sure whether to pursue these complaints. The people I have complained to are experienced in dealing with these problems, so perhaps I should ask what they think is the best approach.
Maybe you could keep a log of the incidents/what's said and when. At least then you have something to show anyone who tries to help. I'd say take photographs of them doing what they do, but not sure if that would be strictly legal - maybe someone else could advise on that. No point falling foul of the law for the sake of some kids being a pain.
Quote by TimandLene Thanks for your post Mike. There are about 15 of them. Seriously we are not trying to wind them up. I did however initially make the mistake of responding to their attempts to wind us up. When I took the ball it was because they were kicking the ball closer and closer to Lene. I felt they were doing this deliberately and took the ball. Yes, we should have probably just gone inside instead of carrying on with the argument, but I am human and I lost my temper. I work for a college in a rough area of London so I have some experience of relating to teenagers and we have no problem getting on with our neighbours teenagers. I have tried reasoning with the teenagers but they just took the piss and began taking penalty kicks at my door as soon as I went inside. I will certainly try being more friendly to them in the future if things calm down, but at the moment I have decided to stay clear of them. Both Lene and I live in a housing association property as well, as part of a shared ownership agreement.
Seriously... Ignore then, hard, frustrating and makes your blood boil i'm sure.. but is the only way forward. we have all done it.. I wish i could go into details but things escalate out of all proportion if not curbed somewhere. They won't hold back as they egg each other along, each time someone wanting to make a bigger name than the last.. I feel for you honest I do.. Nothing seems to stop it but patients and just ignoring will help.. Boredom will set in with No reaction! You could try to talk with a few of the parents... Just a friendly 'please can you help' sort of thing rather than 'your boy/girl is thug' Really whatever happens... Best of luck! Mike x
I actually did think when I took the football, I wonder if the Police will accuse me of theft The Police suggested I install CCTV to overlook my front door and the parking space I own infront. They were very specific in how they worded their advice, which made me wonder if I installed a camera to cover a wider area I might be breaking some privacy law. They also said if I put a dummy camera up I could end up being sued, although they didn't explain why. Responding to another post, unfortunately I have't been able to find out exactly which flats the teenagers live in. I know they are mostly from a block of flats, but I don't know which one. I would like to speak to the parents if I can find out who to speak to.
Quote by TimandLene The Police suggested I install CCTV to overlook my front door and the parking space I own infront. They were very specific in how they worded their advice, which made me wonder if I installed a camera to cover a wider area I might be breaking some privacy law. They also said if I put a dummy camera up I could end up being sued, although they didn't explain why.
We had problems in our previous house with a neighbour. The police advised us to set up CCTV but were also very specific about where it could point because of privacy laws. Best to seek proper advice on that though - the laws may have changed.
I didn't say in previous posts that the police have had other complaints regarding, I think, these teenagers. The police said a group of teenagers had been moved on from a few blocks away following a similar complaint and when they came out someone had made a complaint that a ball was being kicked at their fence in an area behind the block of flats the teenagers come from. Also one of our neighbours intends to complain at a residents meeting which hopefully will be taking place in the next few weeks. The aggression though does seem to be targeted just at us.
Rather than just e-mailing your Housing Association I would ring and write to them (keeping copies of any correspondance you send), include details of when you contacted the police and ask any police men/women you speak to for their collar number and again include this in your log. Also keep a log of anything that happens including times and dates and also log what is said by both yourself and the teenagers involved. The Housing Association should monitor and do something about all incidences of anti-social behaviour and the more information you have the better. I'd also encourage anyone else in your area to do the same. Speaking up at a residents meeting s also an excellent idea but make sure your concerns are minuted and that actions are followed up.
Thank you for the advice Columbia. I have been keeping a log, but it isn't that detailed. Your advice sounds great. It seems there might be some progress the teenagers seem to have taken there chaos to another area further down the street and well away from us.
As well as speaking to your council, find out who your concillor is for your area, and go and speak to them when they next have a surgery. I had a lot of help from my councillor over a similar situation.
Quote by Cherrytree As well as speaking to your council, find out who your concillor is for your area, and go and speak to them when they next have a surgery. I had a lot of help from my councillor over a similar situation.
good advice really....... your local councillor will have more power on a local issue than your MP (still useful to keep them updated on the problem). For example: the councillor could make a request to an Officer that he/she would like local Detached Youth Workers (if there are any) to visit that area on an evening. To make contact with these young people, with an aim to find out what the issue is for them or move them on elsewhere, like a youth centre or somewhere else appropriate etc...... Also, if these young people are in a housing association property, they may have a support/case worker. So calling them may help your issue being highlighted to that worker.... who should then visit them. You could also talk to your H. A. just to log the issues that youve had or having (if it continues). Join your neighbourhoood watch or attend a meeting......call your co-ordinator an report anything that happens. It is all logged with the police. mdr2000, gave some great advice.....say hello, speak to them, break the ice! Its amazing how many adults dont say Good Morning/Evening to teens. It is intimidating when there are in a large group... dont show your worried by it tho, try to be confident, be aware of your body language. Just smile and nod of the head if you dont feel up to speaking. Whatever happens, good luck :smile: xanaisx
about 4 years ago now my husband was attacked by a group of teenagers, we used to live in a block of flats and the kids used to use the hall ways as a hang out point to smoke their dope etc, anyway one night it was about 8pm and in feb so was dark i went out and told them to clear off as i did from time to time only to have one lad aged 17 to have a go at me on this my hubby came out and escorted him out the building, is was shouting and swearing showing off in front of his mates etc as they do but once out the block my husband turned to come back in, the one lad he took out had a unopened bottle of wine in his hand and i saw his coming after my husband and he went for the back of his head with the bottle anyway i shouted as i saw the lad going for him and on this my husband turned round and held up his arm to protect his head and the lad smashed the bottle over his elbo, it didnt seem to bad at the time but my hubby was in shock we called the police and they called a ambulance, at the hospital they took a x ray and revealed that his arm was badly smashed, his elbo had be removed totally and a section of bone about 3 inch long was just shattered, at first they was going to just amputate his arm above the elbo as it was so badly damaged but they later decided to try and save the arm, luckly they did save his arm but is took 3 operations that included a prostetic elbo, a metal plate and pins and a bone graft off his hip to replace the missing bone in his arm, his lost some usage of that arm but guess its better than not having it at all.
Naughty, thats awful A tip given to me by another S.H'er- CC the bottom of every letter you write to the local MP and anyone else you can think of. It will let the HA know that you're to be taken seriously, and won't go away.
Thank you to everyone for the additional advice. The relevant people at my housing association and the teenagers association all seem to be on holiday or are sick at the moment, but perhaps this isn't a bad thing as things may calm down over the next week. I've been in touch with my local Councellors and one of them is following up a concern I had regarding the Police. They failed to respond to two 999 calls I made and I think I should have been advised that no one was on their way, the Councellor agrees with this. I hope to arrange meetings with the relevant people at both associations and hopefully some strategies can come out of that. The postings have given some great suggestions for things I can request. I have also learnt how potentially dangerous further confrontations could become. Thank you to everyone.
Quote by ski69 Been reading this Post....Bad news im afraid there not going to stop till someone gets hurt..!!! You have to be carefull cause they carry knives etc these days... Thing is there everywere.... we have a few down our bit and im afraid my son who is also 16y ( rugby player plus spars for england) ended up putting 3 of them in hospital after they attacked him..( it was there little tart gf's that started the fight ) then they wanted to charge him with abh...!!!! You could try reasoning with them .. get the local bobby to approach them with you if you can... ske
I'm sure 'they' aren't all that bad. Very sweeping statement to make, that was.
Quote by ski69 Been reading this Post....Bad news im afraid there not going to stop till someone gets hurt..!!! You have to be carefull cause they carry knives etc these days... Thing is there everywere.... we have a few down our bit and im afraid my son who is also 16y ( rugby player plus spars for england) ended up putting 3 of them in hospital after they attacked him..( it was there little tart gf's that started the fight ) then they wanted to charge him with abh...!!!! They dont trouble us in anyway..but i have 2 strapping sons and a husband... You could try reasoning with them .. get the local bobby to approach them with you if you can... ske
Your son was involved in a fight, but you say they don't trouble you in any way?
yes!
