Ask Your Auntie

30 Mar 2006

Quote by PoloLady
My kind, caring and supportive advice will be here whenever you need it.
Regards
Auntie

Yes but when is it going to make it's first appearance?? I demand proof that it exists!!

31 Mar 2006

Quote by westerross

My kind, caring and supportive advice will be here whenever you need it.
Regards
Auntie

Yes but when is it going to make it's first appearance?? I demand proof that it exists!!
Oi!

21 Feb 2007

Dear Aunty,
I have a problem with a constantly farting colleague!
She is a delightful person to work with - perfect in every way in fact but ... she has a lot of wind and is almost proud of it. :shock:
The pungent aroma is almost too much to bear day in day out. How do I get her to clench and hold?
Yours, in hope.

21 Feb 2007

Hope wrote:

Dear Aunty,
I have a problem with a constantly farting colleague!
She is a delightful person to work with - perfect in every way in fact but ... she has a lot of wind and is almost proud of it. :shock:
The pungent aroma is almost too much to bear day in day out. How do I get her to clench and hold?
Yours, in hope.

Dear Hope
Flatulence (in small blasts) is a perfectly natural function. However, flatulence becomes excessive and seems to be ‘getting up your nose’ there are a few routes you can take.
Firstly talk to the offending bottom-burper about their diet – beans and pulses can cause large amounts of gas to build up during the digestive process. Encouraging the rasp-ripper to eat more nice smelling things like fuchsia, rose buds and summer meadows could give your office a more fresh and floral aroma (and you won’t have to remember to change the refill in the Glade plug-in)
Alternatively, you could consider fitting your colleague with the TrumpTrap2000 (retails from Aunties Stores @ ). This is a highly effective anal filter, using natural charcoal and aroma guard, all neatly shaped to look like a regular butt-plug. All offending odours will be removed as the gas passes through the multi-layered filtration.
Please not: TrumpTrap3000 will be available from early April and will have the added feature of a harmonica attachment.
Auntie

21 Feb 2007

dear aunty,
i have this overwhelming desire to vote labour. in fact i cant wait to buy a fleet of 4x4s( just so i can pay the extra taxes), im already planning a cosy tea party for the nice council tax snooper, made huge donations to employ more nhs managers & speed cameras. am i lost cause? please excuse writing in crayon blah blah blah pointy objects blah blah blah nice rubber wallpaper, blah blah. yours affectionately, lou. knee. tewns

21 Feb 2007

Quote by triker69uk
dear aunty,
i have this overwhelming desire to vote labour. in fact i cant wait to buy a fleet of 4x4s( just so i can pay the extra taxes), im already planning a cosy tea party for the nice council tax snooper, made huge donations to employ more nhs managers & speed cameras. am i lost cause? please excuse writing in crayon blah blah blah pointy objects blah blah blah nice rubber wallpaper, blah blah. yours affectionately, lou. knee. tewns

Dear Twens
You are not alone in your desire to vote Labour - they have won a few times after all.
I would advise on refraining from buying the fleet of 4x4's though - you will be saving Norfolk.
Auntie

21 Feb 2007

I was at the shops the other day and I was eating a little box of raisins whilst I was waiting at the checkout. Between the checkout and leaving the shop, I dropped a few of them on the floor.
My question is... what is the correct thing to do under these circumstances? Should I have picked them up or was I correct in leaving them and walking out?
What do good manners dictate one should do?