auto-fellatio

8 Sep 2004

I can not only touch my toes with straight legs, I can put my palms flat on the floor cool

yet I still can't seem to bend my back in half, which seems to be what is required for this type of sexual gymnastics confused

. Satin is also very supple and can do kicks that are annoyingly high :shock: .... yet, no joy in the auto-fellatio department
Strange sad

8 Sep 2004

Quote by bluexxx
I can not only touch my toes with straight legs, I can put my palms flat on the floor yet I still can't seem to bend my back in half, which seems to be what is required for this type of sexual gymnastics . Satin is also very supple and can do kicks that are annoyingly high :shock: .... yet, no joy in the auto-fellatio department
Strange

perhaps it's like rolling your tongue or attached earlobes ..... you either can or you can't well obviously it has to be one .. feck .. you know what i mean!!!!!
Morbius is a large man and I can hear the laughter from here (he's at work) if I so much as think about suggesting it :shock:

8 Sep 2004

Yes, my back is very supple going towards my feet - my palms can go flat on the floor too despite me being on the big side of large - but going backwards is not so comfortable. I USED to be able to do that crab thing, you know.. feet on floor and arching backwards with body off the floor, but no longer alas!
Some things are better done by others - cooking, cleaning, washing and oral sex cool

8 Sep 2004

A guy I meet can do this, he started doing it because his girl friend hates oral sex, he doesn't do it quite so often now because Iâ€™m better at it then him smile

8 Sep 2004

Quote by niceguysdoexist
Tell me do you spit or swallow

just to clean things up, I swallow wink

xx
Del
p.s. or should that be clear things up smile

8 Sep 2004

Just tried doing all those things I used to be able to do :dry:
I can still touch the floor with straight legs (Note to self: must remember to show hubby later when wearing short skirt ;) )
I got the most appalling cramp in my thighs trying to do the 'crab' thing :uhoh:
and I can still do the tongue rolly thing which looks pretty disgusting if you can 'corkscrew' it at the same time :shock:
... and I have discovered recently another skill ... I can lick my own nipples!! :thrilled: At last, a really good reason for having big boobs!!
Treasure

8 Sep 2004

I can barely touch my toes, let alone put my palms flat on the floor. I have never been terribly supple I am afraid sad

. Shame really. It would be a very useful thing to be able to do on those long nights when Sappho is away.
Maybe I'll practice. Don't suppose it would do much good though!
Will
If I end up getting locked in an improbable position it will all be the fault of you lot!

8 Sep 2004

Quote by niceguysdoexist
So you auto-fellartiartistes(MISCHIEF ....HELP :giveup: )
Tell me do you spit or swallow : :shock:
If you swallow ...is that like perpetual motion

Am a swallower, me - just like Del. As for "perpetual motion", this is a question that Vix & I have raised in the past: If I were stranded on a desert island, and with semen being high in protein, could I (and my fellow castaways) survive on my ejaculations? :?

Quote by bluexxx
I tried to get Satin to do it earlier, based on the description that Reese gave of how he does it...... but he failed . I even tried to help him by trying to fold him in half.... but that didn't work at all...
DAMN!
Are there exercises anyone could suggest that would help?
:wink: :wink:

A good start would be for Satin to try the air-pedaling bicycle exercise, each time trying to work his legs closer to the floor (i.e. knees landing around his ears). Whatever you do, don't try to assist in folding him - could result in spinal injury! However, if he grasps his hips and pulls downward, that's a relatively safe way to accentuate progess... ;) ...as he'd respond instinctually to his pain threshold.
~Reese! surprised

8 Sep 2004

Seem to remember a story doing the rounds a few years back that Marilyn Manson (US rockstar) was so determined to do it, that he had surgery to remove a vertebrae just so he could do it to himself, know thatâ€™s dedication to a cause.

8 Sep 2004

Quote by rebecca_uk_tv
Seem to remember a story doing the rounds a few years back that Marilyn Manson (US rockstar) was so determined to do it, that he had surgery to remove a vertebrae just so he could do it to himself, know thatâ€™s dedication to a cause.

Surely it was ribs, not vertebrae? How would they do that? Sever the spinal chord, remove a couple od back bones and then sew the spine back up again? Sheesh, I need to see his neurologist!

9 Sep 2004

Your right, Vix. It was ribs that he had removed, getting confused with the Bill Hicks story I mentioned earlier were he says the next stage of evolution is that man has an EXTRA vertebrae fitted just so he can bend his back enough to suck himself off. redface

9 Sep 2004

It's two rows of ribs, same as Cher, although hers where supposedly for a better figure* confused

on a Google search, includes
" Marilyn Manson supposedly had his bottom two ribs removed, so that he can perform oral-sex on himself. He bragged about this in interviews, although some say he made that up and he never actually did this. Just the fact that he would state such a filthy thing, shows his reprobate mind."
I really hope that the linked site is a spoof :shock:
*some crap on Channel 5 about this included an interview with a plastic surgeon saying that this is damned near impossible without massive scarring.
Edit - Rebecca got there first.

9 Sep 2004

That's the last time i order spare ribs, you don't know what celeb they may have come from lol

.

9 Sep 2004

Why bother I have a wife - why have a dog and bark yourself?
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Only joking, just totally jealous!

9 Sep 2004

Quote by RSAB2
Why bother I have a wife - why have a dog and bark yourself?

I totally agree and i'd never be as good as Clare at it anyway,plus my back hurts so thats why i can't do it,nothing to do with the fact ive got a small one or anything redface

(I'll just fetch me coat)

Can you perform auto-fellacio?