Blonde Nun
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God
appeared before her.
"My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart
is full of love for your fellow creatures and your
actions and prayers are always for the benefit of
others. I have come to you, not only to thank and
commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said
God.
"Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a
bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for
nothing material since the Church supports me. I am
content in all ways," said the nun.
"There must be something you would have of me," said God.
"Well, there is one thing," she said.
"Just name it," said God.
"It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes
everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blonde jokes
to stop."
"Consider it done," said God.
"Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans
everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do
just for you."
"There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth
your time," said the nun.
"Name it. Please," said God.
"It's the M&M's," said the blonde nun.
"They're so hard to peel."
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Be having Nun of that! :D
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A guy was driving down a long stretch of country highway, when he approached a fruit stand. The sign above read, "We have peaches that taste like anything and everything, guaranteed!"
The man thought about it, and decided to stop. He thought this has to be bullshit. So he approaches the old, feeble man behind the stand and says," So, you have peaches that taste like strawberries and cream?"
The old man hands him a peach and the driver takes a bite.
"Mmmmmm, tastes like strawberries," he says.
"Turn it around," the old man says.
The driver turns it around, bites into it, and the other side tastes like cream. The man thinks for a second, and says, "How 'bout steak nad baked potato?"
The old man behind the stand looks for a second, and then comes up with a new peach. He hands it to the weary traveler. He bites into it.
"Tastes like steak," he says.
"Turn it around," the old man says.
"Wow, POTATO!"
The traveler thinks really hard for about 2 minutes before he finally blurts out, "O.K. old man, I bet you don't have one that tastes like pussy!"
The old man produces another peach very quickly and hands it to the driver. He takes a big bite out of it, chews a couple of times, spits it out, and says, "Man, this tastes like SHIT!!"
The old man just grins and says,"Turn it around!"
The man thought about it, and decided to stop. He thought this has to be bullshit. So he approaches the old, feeble man behind the stand and says," So, you have peaches that taste like strawberries and cream?"
The old man hands him a peach and the driver takes a bite.
"Mmmmmm, tastes like strawberries," he says.
"Turn it around," the old man says.
The driver turns it around, bites into it, and the other side tastes like cream. The man thinks for a second, and says, "How 'bout steak nad baked potato?"
The old man behind the stand looks for a second, and then comes up with a new peach. He hands it to the weary traveler. He bites into it.
"Tastes like steak," he says.
"Turn it around," the old man says.
"Wow, POTATO!"
The traveler thinks really hard for about 2 minutes before he finally blurts out, "O.K. old man, I bet you don't have one that tastes like pussy!"
The old man produces another peach very quickly and hands it to the driver. He takes a big bite out of it, chews a couple of times, spits it out, and says, "Man, this tastes like SHIT!!"
The old man just grins and says,"Turn it around!"
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