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becoming accidentaly attached

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Well Ill finally admit it I have become attched to my shagging partner, I didnt mean to and have tried to stop it but I cant help it and now I just feel I cant control my feelings and find myslef thinking about him an awful lot sad Maybe Im obsessive or something but I cant he;p it and am not even sure what to do for the best.
I dont expect to be moving in or anythingmental like that Id just like to be able to control these intense feelings I seem to be having and not feel like such a nuttter :(
I dont know where to go with this or what to do and its probably one sided cause thats what usually happens! Its just driving me nuts! Has this happened to anyone else!! I really need some advice and I know im stubborn and at the end of the day Will make my own desicion and probably not a very good one!
This is really doing my head in I feel like a lost cause :(
Dont have any experience with this but I think you should tell them and see where it goes. If you don't you might end up an emotional wreck and the fun will go out of it anyway.....just my opinion...but good luck whatever you decide.
your best bet is more shagging with someone else :twisted: or lots of others maybe. what do others think?
Thing is Im still all set for a bit of swinging with my shagging partner Im just starting to get this really intense feeling of caring a lot for him and its fucking arrrrrrrrrgggh
I hate it I dont know where my bloody heads at anymore!
then you need to talk to him about it and see how he feels
well it's all downhill for here then! wink
Yes I know sad
Im really not good at talking to people about things like this! Im really really bad and aside from the shagging we do have quite a close friendship and I dunno what the hell to do for the best I just dont want things to become awkward or anything
If you guys are that close, he will probably have guessed even if he doesnt feel the same...
you will definately need to talk to him about it .......you don't want to fall out with him if you start getting jealous of others and arguing with him.
Hmmmm, a really close friend who you shag all the time. how is that different from a relationship? apart from it actually being called one. plus if you plan to swing anyway a relationship would just be a label anyhow!
Think this is always an occupational hazard, when you share something as close as physical relationships are especially over time don't think you can avoid feelings. . .
Not sure where to go from here, but a good long think about where you want to go, then see if they want to go with you. Feeling for you babe.
Good luck with it.
Thanks everybody! :cry: Sorry grrrrr why does it all have to be so fecking hard and complicated !!
Quote by fruity1976
Thanks everybody! :cry: Sorry grrrrr why does it all have to be so fecking hard and complicated !!

well, it has to be hard otherwise it won't go in...
hope you sort this out soon and get what you want biggrin :D
these things can happen fruity and to be honest is part of my reason to not swing anymore
I became emotionally attached to a couple of guys I met through swinging and it was wrong of me but I couldn't stop the feelings.
I took a step back and changed my outlook on life, realised there's other more important things I have to sort out this year and that swinging isn't really for me at all. Hence why my sig says "ad now removed - just here for the laughs"
Everybody copes differently with emotional attachments - maybe it's time you spoke to him about it. Hope everything goes well for you
biggrin
Hiya smile
I have always said that this would be reason I would not swing as I am still yet to be convinced that shagging buddies really dont end up without someone getting hurt when two single people are involved.
However are you really sure that you are not mixing up genuinally just liking being with the person as a mate for something deeper? The only way to get through this will be to talk without anger and frustration and say what you think. If this is too hard then think why that may be. It should never be too hard to talk face to face and say exactly what you feel if you two are good friends. Even if you dont like the answers at least you will be able to make a choice once you know. Not talking openly is what eats us all up you know. I know there are people who have been on the other end of my straight talking and have felt uncomfotable maybe but have always thanked me for being honest. I have not always liked the answers but if I ask a question then I have to expect to take as an adult the reply.
I am sorry if you are feeling low.......know that one.....but the reason I can bounce back without malice and think positively is knowing that the way I deal with any issues are to confront them head on. You never know your partner may also be feeling the need to sort this out and if you can even instill some humour into it you two may come out even better friends.
Hope this helps. If not take care............thinking about you
Corriexxxxxxx
Why do I have to have complications its so unfair I know this may sound pathetic but sometimes I feel jealous when I hear of people in happy relationships (not that Id want them to not be in them!) just sometimes wonder if theres some secret or maybe Im just the sort fo person who attracts all the wrong types wanting me but can never get a decent guy to want me !
I think my outlook on life has changed drastically in the past few years but Im still stumped I know what the right thing to do is! Im just shit at talking about this sort of thing, even with people ive been close with for years!
I hate people to know too much about me or get too close! I think Ill probably be a 70 year old spinster or a hermit or something! rolleyes
Thanks Corrie and in no way offended by your straight talking! Better to be honest!
confused Will have to think very carefull about this rolleyes
Well you have over 40 years to get there so dont give up yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This year I have set myself some really ambitious goals and thats where I am going to concentrate and relationships will come second in my time frame so how about thinking about what else you want out of life.??????? Sex may be good but its not something that anyone can do 24 hours a day.............................well maybe one or 2 on this site can :shock: :shock: lol :lol: :lol:
biggrin
nothing wrong with careing for some one, even loveing someone as long as know nothing will become of it, unless your both avalible ,one hazards of swinging i guess,
I care about my swinging regular partners, but there married ,happily and would do nothing to split them, in fact try best to keep them together.
I can tell when someone is falling for me, usually passe,s as life gets in way other prioritys take over from me
If they split up naturally through no fault of mine,as people do then who knows
like to stay friends with everybody concerned wink
haha aye if only it was that simple haha Id have done that months ago rolleyes
Quote by da69ve
you will definately need to talk to him about it .......you don't want to fall out with him if you start getting jealous of others and arguing with him.

Agreed. Fruity, my view (for what its worth) is that you should talk to him. You obviously know each other very well, so you will probably find that he is very understanding about it. But you need to sort the problem out. confused
Just wanted to say thanks for everybodys comments and advice on this matter! Still not totally sure what I am going to do for definite yet but just wanted to also say I got a few PM's from different people in a similar situation sad Not that its a great situation to be in but nice to know I am not alone!
Thanks smile
I think really that if you can answer the question "What do I want?" then you may be half way to resolving this one.
Hope this helps.
dunno
Sorry to hear it's getting so intense, Fruity1976. I hope it all works out for the best.
{{{hugs}}}