Behaviour at a &quot;munch &quot;

20 Feb 2007

Well I've kept out of this until now as I wasn't sure where it was going at one point. I'm sorry it was felt that the jigpics had to go as they really aren't anything to do with munch behaviour in general.
What can I say - I'm flucked for attending munches as it currently stands, my behaviour isn't bad but my clothing is nearly always over the top. I don't flash as such, but I'm sure many people think I'm more naked than I usually am, if you know what I mean.
I also think you need to be careful about who's local pub you use to set the boundaries, we don't all drink in the same type of pub lol

:lol:
My clothing, some snogging, over the top of clothing bum grabs, and tail and boob flashing all happen in my local. cool

:twisted:
We are all adult and as such should be able to moderate our behaviour to accomadate a few rules/laws and behave in a socially acceptable manner.
I really don't think that increasing the rules and trying to enforce them will have much effect. Those who chose to perform sexual acts would probably do it anyway and I seriously doubt that a long list of rules about basic social behaviour will inspire new people to attend munches.
I'd be wondering why they had to be so restrictive in the first place and would find it a bit worrying.
Jas
XXX

20 Feb 2007

I know I'm kinda new to munches' and stuff, but apart from the 1 or 2 idiots that this thread was originally about, I like the way they are organised.
I'm probably guilty of the kind of behaviour talked about. I snogged several people using the 'its my birthday' excuse. I swapped clothes with someone, in the loos not in the middle of a dance floor. I had a photo taken by Pheonix. But I wasn't doing anything that no one else was.
If they are going to be turned into a night at your local, with behaviour you woldnt see otherwise, I may as well just go out for a drink with my mates!!!
And no Bloke, thats not what I was saying. Which is why I'm trying to explain myself better. I love the social aspect of this site, which is the main reason I'm here. The guarantee of a flash, grope etc, is much more fun, if its guaranteed in my hotel room after!!!

20 Feb 2007

Quote by Blokes

sounds more like a funeral wake to me!

But at least you won't have to run and hind behind Blokes again to get away from the tit sucking :shock:
The good lady has a point wink

i would have kindly said no....but you guys know what i mean,you can still have a laugh,dress sexy without the need to make it a total free for all!

20 Feb 2007

Quote by northwest-cpl
The problem is not isolated to newbies, but what messages do you want to give to newbies? Every munch thank you thread is full of snog counts and innuendo. At the moment there is a thread running showing photos from a munch, some of which could not be taken in your local pub in full view of the landlord without you being thrown out. From reading between the lines of the forums (as most newbies will do) it would appear that munches are not the purely social events that they are supposed to be and never have been.
While mild sexual behaviour is celebrated it is unsurprising that some people will take it one step further.

It was me that first brought attention to the photo thread. It appeared to me that boundaries were being pushed, as they were with munch behaviour, in that instead of cleavage we were seeing bare tits and arses. If it is normal to take that sort of photo in a vanilla environment (ie munch environment) I challenge anyone who sees that as ok to go to an average vanilla pub and take those sort of photos in view of the landlord. If it is not suitable for an average night out then it's not suitable for a munch according to the munch rules.

Quote by easy
As for the deletion of Phoenix thread, I do think that was a little unfair, but I can understand that it may have been considered to be encouraging lewd behaviour in the "one-up" style mentioned earlier.
I've seen the situation before, someone gets their boobs out, so someone gives them a squeeze, so they react and grab their cock and it just goes on from there.

If I am new to the site or to munches and I see those photos then surely I can assume that this is normal munch behaviour. It's not surprising that people take it one or two steps further.

Quote by Mr-Powers
so is it now inappropriate behaviour to go to a munch in a top that show's your cleavage or a skirt that show's a stocking top....now what the hell has that got to do with certain idiots performing sex acts or unwelcome groping....which this thread was really about?

I don’t see anyone mentioning tops that show cleavage or stocking tops as being unwelcome – it’s the flashing that seems to go against the supposed ethos of a munch. The thing about skimpy tops though, is that they are best kept on unless you are sure that your audience actually wants to see your assets.
Personally I find the ‘prude’ and ‘politically-correct’ jibes very funny. It would be interesting to compare the swinging histories of the ‘prudes’ with those of the ‘liberated’ flashing camp. I see it not as prudishness but an awareness of suitability of time and place.

20 Feb 2007

Quote by northwest-cpl
so is it now inappropriate behaviour to go to a munch in a top that show's your cleavage or a skirt that show's a stocking top....now what the hell has that got to do with certain idiots performing sex acts or unwelcome groping....which this thread was really about?

20 Feb 2007

Quote by northwest-cpl
Personally I find the ‘prude’ and ‘politically-correct’ jibes very funny. It would be interesting to compare the swinging histories of the ‘prudes’ with those of the ‘liberated’ flashing camp. I see it not as prudishness but an awareness of suitability of time and place.

Agreed 100% :thumbup:
WTF did 'political correctness' come into this confused

It has NOTHING to do with it rolleyes

It has EVERYTHING to do with common decency, laws and decorum :!:

20 Feb 2007

Quote by Mr-Powers
i'm referring to the thread that was removed...pics of cleavage and stocking tops!

But in that thread there was more than cleavage and stocking tops, that appears to be the problem.

20 Feb 2007

Quote by Blokes
Personally I find the ‘prude’ and ‘politically-correct’ jibes very funny. It would be interesting to compare the swinging histories of the ‘prudes’ with those of the ‘liberated’ flashing camp. I see it not as prudishness but an awareness of suitability of time and place.

Agreed 100% :thumbup:
WTF did 'political correctness' come into this confused

It has NOTHING to do with it rolleyes

It has EVERYTHING to do with common decency, laws and decorum :!:
i believe the political correctness came into it when the pervcam thread was removed...when only any "if any" offensive pics could have been removed instead!

20 Feb 2007

Ah yes, that thread - sorry Wonder Women I was refering to this thread - as you know, I love you and would like to kiss your bollocks lol

(in private of course!)

20 Feb 2007

Quote by Blokes
Ah yes, that thread - sorry Wonder Women I was refering to this thread - as you know, I love you and would like to kiss your bollocks

oh behave!!

20 Feb 2007

Quote by Blokes
I'm sure I'm not the only one, although brand me a pervert if I am. But I wouldnt travel x amount of miles, and pay for a hotel room if this is what munches are going to be in the future!!!

Well I can't comment on the 'pervert' bit but do find the latter part of your post very sad confused

So, if I'm reading this right, unless you are guaranteed a flash, grope or some inappropriate/indecent sexual behaviour you can't be arsed to fork out to meet people from here? :shock:
The impression I get is that if they want to the couples and the well known single women/men are virtually 100% certain of playing AFTER a munch at a hotel or whatever.
I see nothing wrong with having the hope of that happening but having the hope and it actually happening are two different things.
I can't tell a lie if I ever went to a munch I would hope something sexual stemmed from it for me - I don't mean going around to any attractive woman/couple saying "Gizza Shag!"lol - I don't even mean on THAT night never mind in that place but I'm only human and I would hope!
A former female member on here I had contact with a couple of years ago told me a lot about munches she went to, too much, things I didn't want to know, including naming real names and the like, she was a News of The World reporters dream come true!
But rest easy there all, I swear I'm not from the NOTW!!
That lady also told me of sex acts she'd performed in the loo' it's been said not unlike goings on in many nightclubs but ,IN PUBLIC as such ,as a munch is, I think people ARE best to arrange to do such things AFTER in private!

20 Feb 2007

Quote by northwest-cpl
Personally I find the ‘prude’ and ‘politically-correct’ jibes very funny. It would be interesting to compare the swinging histories of the ‘prudes’ with those of the ‘liberated’ flashing camp. I see it not as prudishness but an awareness of suitability of time and place.

Right I have tried very hard to avoid comment on this thread, but this comment has now made me angry and I can't stop myself any longer.
I don't think that anyone's swinging history has anything to do with this thread and indeed is no one's business but each individuals. It is IMO outrageous that comments like this are made regarding our members in what is meant to be a sexually liberated environment.
Now maybe I am reading it all wrong (but I don't think so) and if so then apologies, but what this actually says is that there are two classes of swinger and those that are not in the "'liberated'flashing camp" are in fact a better class and more aware of suitable behaviour. This is absolute twaddle and is judging people based upon their sexual/swinging history, which as I say, a) isn't anyone's business but theirs and b) a silly and immature jibe, especially given that we are all here for one common reason, and that I would hope is a more open, relaxed and liberated attitude to sex and sexuality.
Secondly, I have an issue with the linking of two women snoging and groping (consensually) as a sexual act being akin to oral sex being given in public.
Now maybe I do frequent a differnet kind of club and pub, (but then they are always gay or gay friendly,) but this, women kissing and/or groping is certainly usual behaviour. Would I do this in a more 'vanilla' environment? Well if a man and a woman could do it and did do it, then yes I would. If this comment was aimed at events taking place at the NW munch, then perhaps it should be pointed out that the munch was held in a 'gay' venue and this certainly would be par for the course in the rest of the venue on the night!
In terms of dress and behaviour at munches, well I thnk I may well have problems at future ones too, I dress no differently at a munch than I would going out on a sturday night, but it all depends on venues - what would be acceptable at one may not be at another, but quiet frankly that is not my problem, I wear what I wear, and will and indeed do wear my outfits in any and all environments.

20 Feb 2007

Quote by kazswallows

sounds more like a funeral wake to me!

I'll remember the tea and cucumber sandwiches for the buffet at my next munch, if I ever do another.
we don't mind cucumber sandwiches if you cut off the crust & are then cut into triangles :giggle:
worship

please don't be put off arranging another one hun kiss

Could always have a conservative dress only munch wink

20 Feb 2007

Quote by Phoenix
It is a valid , although "tounge in cheek" comment. Breast feeding a baby is not considered a sexual act in most civilised countries of the world (England has declined at the moment, but turns a blind eye). So, why should flashing boobs at an adult party be considered a sexual act ?.

Hang on ..... breast feeding a baby cannot be compared to someone getting their tits out in public ... Most (as in the largest majority) breastfeeeding women do so discreetly and you are more than likely unable to see anything at all. The cleavage revealing tops worn at munches probably show more!!
A woman feeds her baby through necessity ... it's not a necessity for anyone to get their tits out in public!
The "prudes" comment that I made was aimed at breastfeeding in public btw .. not at peoples opinions on here about behaviour at munches.
I refuse to adapt my behaviour at munches, I have been guilty of getting my tits out for a photo, along with others, I am guilty of snogging other women, albeit discreetly away from bar staff/other vanillas, I will dress how I normally dress (which can hardly be called risque anyway).
If I have ever offended anyone, or do so in the future then I hope that with maturity the person feeling that way can approach me privately rather then go running to the mods!
I too am surprised that the "protection of newbies" is being used as a coverall for opinions, because those who have been most vocal have been regulars to the forums, don't attend the majority of munches/socials and yet feel the need to disparage the general behaviour of others.
Cx

20 Feb 2007

Can someone, particularly the Mods, please just clarify whether we are, or are not, potentially looking at any Munch Rule changes now as a result of the behaviour at NW and of this thread?

20 Feb 2007

Quote by Darkfire
Can someone, particularly the Mods, please just clarify whether we are, or are not, potentially looking at any Munch Rule changes now as a result of the behaviour at NW and of this thread?

if so will more rules come in for organising a social event as well confused

20 Feb 2007

Quote by Darkfire
Can someone, particularly the Mods, please just clarify whether we are, or are not, potentially looking at any Munch Rule changes now as a result of the behaviour at NW and of this thread?

At the risk of sounding inflammatory, it'll be the same story, the rules are okay as they stand! It's upto people to watch their own behaviour and activities.
However, I along with others have always accepted the munch environment to be liberated, tolerant and despite being "vanilla" they are "adult". Two girls snogging, a sneaky grope, risque clothing have never been a problem until this thread started and after almost 4 years of munches haven't been a problem. Its typical kneejerk reaction toward a couple of twats! Tolerance goes straight out of the window? Everyone loses the right of choice!
Instead of changing the rules how about giving people the chance to make their own minds up? A warning on the munch thread that whilst sexual blatant acts will not be tolerated (oral sex, masturbation and intercourse), however, you may be witness to same sex kissing, consensual groping and flirting, and if you are that easily offended you may feel uncomfortable, however, no offence is intended and people wanting to indulge in such acts are asked to remain discreet and respectful at all times! (or something better worded).
To me, in ice-cream or in a sexual context, vanilla is bland a flavourless, I want to attend munches to get to know people, see if we clique before approaching anyone for future liaisons, I would be hard pressed to do that if the atmosphere at munches was stifled in anyway.
Cx

20 Feb 2007

Well said Calista!!
Suze xx

20 Feb 2007

Well said Calista :thumbup:
I haven't posted on this thread but you've put exactly what I would have kiss

Fee
XX

20 Feb 2007

exactly Calista , I couldnt agree more :thumbup:
but let's get a line drawn under this now

20 Feb 2007

Fantastic post Calista
A note for people and not particularly newbies....
Munches are not a mandatory part of swinging....
you dont have to attend one to swing as Scandal so frequently (and quite rightly) will point out
It's been interesting to note that some of the most prevelant posters decrying "typical munch behaviour" are those who rarely frequent the events and if they do so they only do to spend the time slagging people off confused

I dont agree with what happened at NW. But it's an adult site, an adult night out, let us behave like adults ffs!!
And I take offence at people saying two girls snogging is an overtly sexual act.
Great offence.

20 Feb 2007

Ok
The original question was do you think rules should be changed
NO
And don't think there will be any because there is nothing wrong with the rules.
This was the question but the thread had been diverted to specific munches (by me aswell) and it should not have been thats why i kept out of here since my last post as it wasnt fair on Vicky imo.
One question i have is in the lmu section on the forum front page there is a link to the munch definition. Are there any actual rules on the site to read and the definition is only that a definition and guidance for organisers not rules as such.
Would it be better and more likely to be read if it was layed out as a set of rules ie bullted or numbered that could be linked to in the munch post and invite and final pm's

20 Feb 2007

Totally agree with Calista!
John & Shel

20 Feb 2007

that this has been dragged out and on and on and on and on..
the "rules" for munch behaviour are guidelines not rules as such..at the end of the day we are ALL consenting adults, and it seems that some that have posted on this thread wish to take a draconian approach to the scene..then feel free, if your so easily offended then go elsewhere.
I am tired of people stating what people should and shouldnt be doing, its tiresome and to be honest ridiculous.
A munch is a munch, its a social event for swingers, and at every munch there has allways been some overt and covert adult behaviour. If you dont like it ... easy dont go..why should everyone suffer cos you get offended..ffs if you go into the gay village in manchester u will see far worse...
So go get a life and stop moaning on and on and on ffs drop it, people have taken note and others have read with interest, and some like me have tolerated what is being said...
but it seems that some people wont let a subject drop..
so to sum up...
Drop it ffs enough is enough and stop going on...

20 Feb 2007

Quote by thumper
that this has been dragged out and on and on and on and on..

Maybe maybe not. This is a forum and this is what it is for.

Quote by thumper
the "rules" for munch behaviour are guidelines not rules as such..at the end of the day we are ALL consenting adults, and it seems that some that have posted on this thread wish to take a draconian approach to the scene..then feel free, if your so easily offended then go elsewhere.

I don't want to go else where. I like munches on this site and will keep going to them. We dont want a draconian approach but want to have a good night within the context of what a munch is but some have seen fit to do as they wish and have raised this question.

Quote by thumper
I am tired of people stating what people should and shouldnt be doing, its tiresome and to be honest ridiculous.

:welcome: to the forum.
A place of livley debate

Quote by thumper
A munch is a munch, its a social event for swingers, and at every munch there has allways been some overt and covert adult behaviour. If you dont like it ... easy dont go..why should everyone suffer cos you get offended..ffs if you go into the gay village in manchester u will see far worse...

Who is suffering dunno

I dont go to munches to see sex acts i go to have a good time meeting frinds and people i chat to to have a real chat and /or a dance.
If i want to see swinging i will go to a swinging club

Quote by thumper
So go get a life and stop moaning on and on and on ffs drop it, people have taken note and others have read with interest, and some like me have tolerated what is being said...

My life is fine as it is. And i doubt that this thread has been read and taken in by all who will attend munches in the future nor by any potential future rule breakers

Quote by thumper
but it seems that some people wont let a subject drop..
so to sum up...
Drop it ffs enough is enough and stop going on...

Why should we if we feel the need to say somthing ?

20 Feb 2007

Quote by thumper
that this has been dragged out and on and on and on and on..
the "rules" for munch behaviour are guidelines not rules as such..at the end of the day we are ALL consenting adults, and it seems that some that have posted on this thread wish to take a draconian approach to the scene..then feel free, if your so easily offended then go elsewhere.
I am tired of people stating what people should and shouldnt be doing, its tiresome and to be honest ridiculous.
A munch is a munch, its a social event for swingers, and at every munch there has allways been some overt and covert adult behaviour. If you dont like it ... easy dont go..why should everyone suffer cos you get offended..ffs if you go into the gay village in manchester u will see far worse...
So go get a life and stop moaning on and on and on ffs drop it, people have taken note and others have read with interest, and some like me have tolerated what is being said...
but it seems that some people wont let a subject drop..
so to sum up...
Drop it ffs enough is enough and stop going on...

1,2,3
whhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :P bolt

20 Feb 2007

i dont mean to drag anything up agian as this topic has been exhausted, but i would be very greatful if a mod or someone familiar with Munch rules could let me know where i stand regarding the Social that im organising. I understand that they are meant to be run with near Munch style rules, but how near? what exact rules should we try to follow? and what penalties (to me? i dont know) are in place if these are not adhered to?
Many thanks
Louise xx

20 Feb 2007

Ok, as Vicky_uk's partner, I have followed this thread with interest, and it has certainly raised some points for discussion.
One very disturbing thing that has come out of it though is that some good people who organise munch's for the benefit of all members are considering whether they will bother in future. If that were to happen, it would be EVERYONES loss throughout the community. I urge Kazswallows, Naughty Wigan Couple and all the other people who give up a lot of their own time and go to a hell of a lot of trouble and hassle not to let a very small minority of disrespectful people win the day over them. The social events are an important part of any site and their loss would be to the detriment of the whole community.
Vicky certainly won't allow this to happen - she will continue to organise events for the benefit of all, and will not bow to the very few who decide to flaunt the guidelines set out for social meets.
All the messages seen on this thread, the thank you thread, and via pm have been greatly appreciated by us both. Thank you to all for your kind comments.
Another point made earlier was that a newbie or other member would be hesitant about reporting unacceptable behaviour to organisers for fear that the ones being reported are friends of the event organisers - in my opinion, anybody going against the organisers wishes for the evening by indulging in anything against the organisers wishes can not possibly be a friend anyway.
Baz

20 Feb 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
i dont mean to drag anything up agian as this topic has been exhausted, but i would be very greatful if a mod or someone familiar with Munch rules could let me know where i stand regarding the Social that im organising. I understand that they are meant to be run with near Munch style rules, but how near? what exact rules should we try to follow? and what penalties (to me? i dont know) are in place if these are not adhered to?
Many thanks
Louise xx

http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/65788.html
Very simple rules, we don't get involved with anything other than this, with regard to socials. You pretty much do as you please. If you wish to discuss, please PM me.
Mal

20 Feb 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
i dont mean to drag anything up agian as this topic has been exhausted, but i would be very greatful if a mod or someone familiar with Munch rules could let me know where i stand regarding the Social that im organising. I understand that they are meant to be run with near Munch style rules, but how near? what exact rules should we try to follow? and what penalties (to me? i dont know) are in place if these are not adhered to?
Many thanks
Louise xx

Louise, don't let this thread detract from what's always been the case. Socials and Munches are meant to be vanilla, they are meant to be relaxed and a way of putting faces to names.
The "rules" that stood before aren't going to change much, if at all! Just remind people that it is in a vanilla environment, so dress standard and behaviour should be no different that you would have at an ordinary pub/club. People shouldn't give away venue details to anyone, instead direct them to yourself. Have a couple of people you know and trust available in case you do need back up to remove someone, which lets face it, in all the years of munches and the amount that have occurred is stil very very few.
I'm sure a more seasoned munch organiser wouldn't mind you pm'ing them for advice or to bounce ideas off.
have fun x
Cx