Pmsl - Cant top that one :shock:
Thank you needed that just now :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
We were in brief contact with a couple, we wanted to meet, but apparently that would be impossible "because their dog had diabeties and needed injections too often".
Heard a good one in a now closed club a couple of weeks ago. One man had to pop out for a while as "he'd had a phone call and someone was breaking into his allotment and pinching his cabbages"............ in February??
Odd thing was, he left his wife alone at the club till be came back.
John & Shel
oooh have had from someone on their way to see me
sorry have had to turn back as childminders relative has taken a swan dive and hit the pavement.
i have had someone actually get here, must have taken one look and thought no way, then started crying over their ex girlfriend wondering what they were going here and then over their grandad that just died
both could be true but who knows
Earthy xx
from a guy who travelled up from the midlands (supposedly) Phone call 10 mins before planned meet "i got to bishop auckland and the car started playin up so i drove home" :eeek:
(in a car that was playing up and exhaust was falling off)
"my pet mouse got ran over"
this next one i though was a bloody good wind up and a no show but it actually happened
again phone call bout same time we was supposed to meet "in in ******** but i think ive took a wrong turning i went past a farm round a corner a bit to fast and ive ended up in the river so now im sat waiting for the AA to come pull me out il get there as soon as i can" i knew exactly where he was descibing but being local ish he could of known that anyways so off i goes n puts me big fluffy jim jams on sits in front of me fire n doses off thinking he was a wind up was awoken by knocking on the door i answered to see this man i had arranged to meet and had told him i would dress up sexily for him to find him staring at me funnily in me fluffy jim jams n bed head hair god knows what he thought at the time we still laugh about it now
Just in case --- if you hear that somebiody is waiting for a sex change---- it might just be true!!
I used to be in a real bad way with arthritic scrotitis disease, but since Miss Srne made her holy visit to edinburgh it has completely cleared up. All hail her divine vagine!
And get back up here, Maz's flatulence is getting out of control.
your devout follower, Den
:doh:
I'm just as gobsmacked by some of the sad antics & shenanigans employed just to get a few naked pics
:shock:
...if Shireen says a word I was just being polite!
I had wonderful girl on SH lodging with me for a while so we decided to play together stating so in our separate profiles but keeping them as single!
We got one poor guy pleading to meet with us as his girlfriend was soon to undergo treatment & wanted to be the center of both our attentions as one 'last' request as the treatment would be ongoing for a considerable amount of time & would leave her very weak!
after ping-pong emails...
then msn...
then the cam not working excuse!
he even asked for pictures of us both having ladies & gentlemen so he could show his 'girlfriend'
I said no coz u have very good idea of what I & my swing buddy looked like on our profiles & because two arranged meets were canceled due to 'illness.'
Not once were we allowed to chat with the female on msn nor could we contact the female & no way could we verify she actually existed!
he even came into the chat room & got well known to the point that we all sussed he was doing the very same thing to anyone else who fell for his sod story!
What I don't understand is with the amount of porn freely available on the net why should anyone wanna go through such an elaborate charade just to get their rocks off on a few emailed pics!
anyway we been askin for fem/fem chat that has not happened, "why you want a fem/fem chat" "they" says "u seen our pics" (yeah strangely not ones of u together an none other than ur lady in what can only be described as porn poses)but i digress, we ended up saying look we really cant be arsed now, been toying with you for ages an u are obviously a very sad lonely wanker, we get back this peice of literary genius via text
It was the best I could come up with at the time :shock: :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol: 
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
:giggle:
:lol: