Best put down lines

7 Sep 2009

Saw a great on one FB status shuffle the other day and could easily think of a couple of people to say it to

I would strongly recommend yoga to you so you can gain the necessary flexibility to shove your head up your ass!
:dry:
'I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better conversation than you'
love it :rotflmao:
got any more?

7 Sep 2009

You'd need twice the intelligence to be a half wit
i also like the old Grouch Marx line
I never forget a face, but in your case i'm willing to make an exception :silly:

7 Sep 2009

I may be drunk now,but in the morning i'll be sober and your still be ugly!

7 Sep 2009

Why don't you just fuck off

7 Sep 2009

I still love, 'that looks like a penis, only smaller'.
:P

7 Sep 2009

Quote by Mr-Powers
I may be drunk now,but in the morning i'll be sober and your still be ugly!

Good old Winston was very good on the put downs...
My favourite was when he was speaking to the rather dreadfully dull Lady Astor and being his usual quasi-mysoginistic crude self to which she said...
"If I were your wife, I would flavour your tea with poison!"
to which he replied.
"If I were your husband, I'd drink it."
Quite brilliant!
There's so many great ones though, I do like ;-
"I would try to appeal to your intellect, but I can see doing so would be futile."
which has a neat double edge to it that the mentally challenged often fail to see.
I did like Jack Dee's put down when someone was being slightly over enthusiastic at one of his gigs when after they'd shouted out he said to the audience.
"Look... For them it's a night out... For their carer's it's a night off."

7 Sep 2009

My O.H has quite a collection (unintended, I think!) the worst bit about them, is I think they're meant to be encouraging -
"you look quite slim from behind"
"She's wearing them (stiletto boots or shiny leggings or whatever his latest fad is) and she's even older than you!"
etc confused

7 Sep 2009

Quote by Cherrytree
My O.H has quite a collection (unintended, I think!) the worst bit about them, is I think they're meant to be encouraging -
"you look quite slim from behind"
"She's wearing them (stiletto boots or shiny leggings or whatever his latest fad is) and she's even older than you!"
etc

I can so empathise.
My eldest sister, to me: "I wish I was like you and didn't care what I looked like." :shock:
Apparently (after I had spluttered my indignance) what she meant to say was, "I wish I had your self-confidence."
Hmmmm. rolleyes

7 Sep 2009

Two I have used spring to mind.
Scene - Our Jewellery Stall Camden Lock early 80's
Having examined the goods priced at the princely sum of
Customer, with some venom, "Your Expensive!"
Me with perfect grace, "No madam, you are just cheap".
Scene - My Local, John has just realised that he has overstepped the mark somewhat in a group conversation.
John, "Well I guess I am just a complete idiot then"
Me, "No that's not right at all John, you are not a complete idiot, there are bits missing".
For some reason relationships in both cases seemed to deteriorate after those little encounters.

7 Sep 2009

I know what u mean about the status shuffles sassy. The first time I used it, I got a hellish one. Oh it was class, but can't remember what it was now :-(

8 Sep 2009

Have you met my friend...points to empty space .....walks away
Crushing

8 Sep 2009

one i like is.........
were you born that rude and and stupid or did it take years of practice????
use it to good effect around once a year!!!
confused

9 Sep 2009

I don't know any............ rolleyes

10 Sep 2009

this wasnt a put down more a get your ass in to gear
Seen on a bill board in Leicester...for a local famous restaurant ( name witheld)
Take her to (.............) before another guy does.....
I thought it was a brill piece of advertising

10 Sep 2009

maybe silence...
just as in clip
Maybe its the only way to deal with some guys when they are so far up their own arse! :rascal:

10 Sep 2009

Quote by GnV
maybe silence...
just as in this clip
Maybe its the only way to deal with some guys when they are so far up their own arse! :rascal:

This is a guy to stay away from.

10 Sep 2009

Quote by markz
I don't know any............

...body? :roll:
.

10 Sep 2009

I often say this to one of the dogs
"jeez girly, if wit were sh!t...you'd be constipated!!"

10 Sep 2009

Quote by Thebonediggers
I often say this to one of the dogs
"jeez girly, if wit were sh!t...you'd be constipated!!"

10 Sep 2009

"Put that down!"
Simple, effective.
lp

10 Sep 2009

No thanks, I already have one arsehole in my knickers.
I find it to be very effective :twisted:

10 Sep 2009

I still love, 'that looks like a penis, only smaller'.
That is such a good one - must remember !
lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

10 Sep 2009

I wouldn't touch you with markz
lol

10 Sep 2009

Quote by goodporking
I wouldn't touch you with markz

Go home............
this planet is full............. rolleyes

10 Sep 2009

Quote by markz
I wouldn't touch you with markz

Go home............
this planet is full............. rolleyes

:laughabove:

11 Sep 2009

Q.."hi can i buy you a drink?"..
A.."Na...but I'll take the cash"...