ok people seen as im still fairly new to this i want to know what is your prefared way of been contacted and why? wink, private message, quicky or chat room thanks in advance p
Personally I hate winks. I think they're a bit of a copout really. If you're interested in someone then you should tell them why. :mrgreen: The quickies are good if they're used properly. A bit of a flirt via a quickie lets you know that someone has looked at your profile and has the wit to write something rather than use a pre-written wink. I like imagination! :rascal: The chatrooms are great for spotting people who don't use the forums much. I much prefer people who ask to whisper before they just barge into my space without any manners. Even better when I receive a PM from someone who's seen me in chat and has taken the time out to write more than one line. Quite often I'm engrossed in conversation in the chatrooms and don't necessarily want to discuss meeting someone in there so that's kinda nice. Mostly I banter round the forums and pick up on things I like about the other people who post, from a sense of humour to cheeky comments. But always what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for the next person so I dare say everyone will be along to tell you what works for them. :mrgreen:
my profilemake sit clear i dont like winks and i wont reply to them. lazy,not personal. quickies you cant leave them on my profile and i will avoid people who us ethem as a verification system, tacky and you could be shooting ya self in the foot, i know some dodgy people who practice unsafe sex and if i see youve pocked them i aint touching you with a barge pole. if someone wants to get my attention they should write a private message. telling me stuff about themselves. and only then once they have read my profile and fit what im looking for. bitch?? yep lol xx fem xx
Quote by Dirtygirlie Personally I hate winks. I think they're a bit of a copout really. If you're interested in someone then you should tell them why. :mrgreen: The quickies are good if they're used properly. A bit of a flirt via a quickie lets you know that someone has looked at your profile and has the wit to write something rather than use a pre-written wink. I like imagination! :rascal: The chatrooms are great for spotting people who don't use the forums much. I much prefer people who ask to whisper before they just barge into my space without any manners. Even better when I receive a PM from someone who's seen me in chat and has taken the time out to write more than one line. Quite often I'm engrossed in conversation in the chatrooms and don't necessarily want to discuss meeting someone in there so that's kinda nice. Mostly I banter round the forums and pick up on things I like about the other people who post, from a sense of humour to cheeky comments. But always what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for the next person so I dare say everyone will be along to tell you what works for them. :mrgreen:
Yep, I agree with much of that. Thing is Fatkid, a lot of people have set their settings to auto respond to winks with a "thanks but no thanks" one liner. So in my book they're a waste of time. Some people you send them too won't even see them appear in their inbox. Ditto with the quickies as fem said. You can disable them too. So, I'd go for a decently written (i.e. not a mass cut-and-paste job) private message. In chat, ask to whisper. But basically, I find that using the site to its fullest works - i.e. post in forum, chat in chat, maybe go to some socials or munches as well as organising your own meets - that approach is what has worked for me. Oh and having a decent profile helps to - use the profile to tell people what you are looking/what you like etc. That is like your shop window for anyone browsing. Good luck - hope you find what you're looking for! :thumbup:
So, I'd go for a decently written (i.e. not a mass cut-and-paste job) private message.
No doubt that's good advice, but in practice it's too time consuming to put the effort into a PM when there's a higher than 50% chance (on the basis of our experience) that it won't even be read.
So, I'd go for a decently written (i.e. not a mass cut-and-paste job) private message.
No doubt that's good advice, but in practice it's too time consuming to put the effort into a PM when there's a higher than 50% chance (on the basis of our experience) that it won't even be read. Well if you cant put the effort into a PM then it may appear to some that you cant be bothered to put any effort into making any meet worth while You reap what you sow....
So, I'd go for a decently written (i.e. not a mass cut-and-paste job) private message.
No doubt that's good advice, but in practice it's too time consuming to put the effort into a PM when there's a higher than 50% chance (on the basis of our experience) that it won't even be read. Well if you cant put the effort into a PM then it may appear to some that you cant be bothered to put any effort into making any meet worth while You reap what you sow.... Bit of a stupid reply given that my contribution clearly shows we HAVE put a lot of effort into PM's but have seen them left unread. It took a lot of effort before the demoralisation set in.
So, I'd go for a decently written (i.e. not a mass cut-and-paste job) private message.
No doubt that's good advice, but in practice it's too time consuming to put the effort into a PM when there's a higher than 50% chance (on the basis of our experience) that it won't even be read. Well if you cant put the effort into a PM then it may appear to some that you cant be bothered to put any effort into making any meet worth while You reap what you sow.... Bit of a stupid reply given that my contribution clearly shows we HAVE put a lot of effort into PM's but have seen them left unread. It took a lot of effort before the demoralisation set in. Iwas making a general statement for the benefit (mainly) of the OP... Pewrhaps it was not worded correctly but my sentiment still stands regardless... It takes time to make things work.... I notice you dont have many forum posts on your account (not knocking that fact in any way).. Maybe get yourself known in the forums as well as chat and go to a couple of the social events/munches that are organised in Lets Meet Up :dunno: They are a good way to meet new friends and potential playmates and are bloody good fun to boot....
Quote by Steve Iwas making a general statement for the benefit (mainly) of the OP...
"You reap what you sow" seemed to be aimed at us and very unfairly. It was my partner that sent messages and she put her heart into them. I'm gutted for her that the vast majority have gone unread, never mind unanswered. I fear the OP would have the same experience unless it's ours that's an anomally? Thanks for the subsequent post though.
Quote by wantacookie Iwas making a general statement for the benefit (mainly) of the OP...
"You reap what you sow" seemed to be aimed at us and very unfairly. It was my partner that sent messages and she put her heart into them. I'm gutted for her that the vast majority have gone unread, never mind unanswered. I fear the OP would have the same experience unless it's ours that's an anomally? Thanks for the subsequent post though. I am now getting confused. Did your partner put her heart into one PM that you then cut and paste to anyone that took your fancy or Did your partner put her heart into replying to individual adverts/profiles where her reply was individual to the advert/profile Dave_Notts
Quote by Dave__Notts I am now getting confused. Did your partner put her heart into one PM that you then cut and paste to anyone that took your fancy or Did your partner put her heart into replying to individual adverts/profiles where her reply was individual to the advert/profile Dave_Notts
The second example. Very much so. Remember in any case that I'm talking about unread messages so the content wouldn't have made any difference as it turns out. I hope I don't sound like a complete moan :cry:
I am now getting confused. Did your partner put her heart into one PM that you then cut and paste to anyone that took your fancy or Did your partner put her heart into replying to individual adverts/profiles where her reply was individual to the advert/profile Dave_Notts
The second example. Very much so. Remember in any case that I'm talking about unread messages so the content wouldn't have made any difference as it turns out. I hope I don't sound like a complete moan :cry: No you don't Cookie, PMs I send are individual/unique to that person/ course I'm a single male so I'm aware that attractive ladies/couples get an awful lot of mail but I do make some effort to say something that might be of some interest to them. I've welcomed the quickie, you can say something nice flirty/friendly, pay a compliment, say hi, whatever, from something lighthearted or giving a brief impression of oneself a longer conversation may grow. The chatroom can be very good or rather odd when you find rooms full of people who don't chat lol
I am now getting confused. Did your partner put her heart into one PM that you then cut and paste to anyone that took your fancy or Did your partner put her heart into replying to individual adverts/profiles where her reply was individual to the advert/profile Dave_Notts
The second example. Very much so. Remember in any case that I'm talking about unread messages so the content wouldn't have made any difference as it turns out. I hope I don't sound like a complete moan :cry: I think you will find that Steve (and me also) assumed that it was the first example that you were doing and that was what his reply was about. Sorry for keep asking questions but it is the only way to see what the problem seems to be. Are you doing a search of your local area or type of playing partner then sending the PM to them? Have you looked to see when they were last on-line? Some people registered two years ago but they have never been online since. Your mail would not have been opened as they do not use the site now. An example of this would be if I only wanted to play with a single fem within 5 miles of me. A search would show 23 single fems with adverts but only 12 are current. This would be the same with me where only 50% of the people I sent a PM to would open them because only 50% come online. Steve has already mentioned a way to increase the chances of a reply. Only send a PM to active members, send to those on the forum or chatroom, or send to those you have met at a social or club. I hope this makes sense as it did when I was thinking it Dave_Notts
Winks - Dont like them. Just cant see the point of them, all it really does is draw your attention to a profile and 99% of the winks I/we get are from people who dont have anything on their profiles anyway. Quickys - Same as winks really cant see the point in them, unless I want to leave a message for a friend profile if they arent online Messages - Only ever meet one person who sent a message and now hes my other half :P Chatroom - Everyone else I've meet or we've meet has been through the chatroom. Why cos you can get to know a person, see them on cam and have a laugh with them before you have even meet them.
Quote by wantacookie No doubt that's good advice, but in practice it's too time consuming to put the effort into a PM when there's a higher than 50% chance (on the basis of our experience) that it won't even be read.
okay..... welcome to the forums by the way...... what I will say is that in swinging and the scene in general there is an old adage that does serve well.... "you get out, what you put in......" it might be on the basis of what you have come across... but if you only use the site one way, then are you not in affect limiting your own options.... for example.... do you use the chatrooms? or have you been to the countless socials on the site? different parts of the site attract different sets of people, for example... before today I would never have known about you, you had been here counting by you joining date 4 yrs and not said anything... it is not a criticism, merely an observation.... like the others have... if you widen you options, you may have better results.... sean xxxxxxxx
PM's my preference and also here on the forum. I rarely PM anyone as I'm not looking but if I was too I doubt I'd pm anyone with a "last online" of two weeks ago either.
To Fatkidlovescake, Winks - don't mind them if there is a good profile/pics to back up the interest. Quickies - don't like any kind of quicky! PM's - don't mind a cut-and-paste as long as it's "tailored" to us with a few personalisations. To Wantacookie, Can't see anything wrong with your profile/pics at all, if we lived nearby we'd be knocking at your door! The only possible reason I can see that you MAY not be getting as much response as you'd like is that you're soft-swap. Perhaps not as many couples up for that????? Just my thoughts.
I am now getting confused. Did your partner put her heart into one PM that you then cut and paste to anyone that took your fancy or Did your partner put her heart into replying to individual adverts/profiles where her reply was individual to the advert/profile Dave_Notts
The second example. Very much so. Remember in any case that I'm talking about unread messages so the content wouldn't have made any difference as it turns out. I hope I don't sound like a complete moan :cry: I think you will find that Steve (and me also) assumed that it was the first example that you were doing and that was what his reply was about. Sorry for keep asking questions but it is the only way to see what the problem seems to be. Are you doing a search of your local area or type of playing partner then sending the PM to them? Have you looked to see when they were last on-line? Some people registered two years ago but they have never been online since. Your mail would not have been opened as they do not use the site now. An example of this would be if I only wanted to play with a single fem within 5 miles of me. A search would show 23 single fems with adverts but only 12 are current. This would be the same with me where only 50% of the people I sent a PM to would open them because only 50% come online. Steve has already mentioned a way to increase the chances of a reply. Only send a PM to active members, send to those on the forum or chatroom, or send to those you have met at a social or club. I hope this makes sense as it did when I was thinking it Dave_Notts :thumbup: Nice post Dave. I would agree on the checking the "last online" date. I made that mistake when I first joined as was actively contacting people. I would send a PM only to later realise it was effectively an inactive profile.
Quote by noladreams30 I would agree on the checking the "last online" date. I made that mistake when I first joined as was actively contacting people. I would send a PM only to later realise it was effectively an inactive profile.
There are times when the "last online" feature makes no difference at all to the liklihood of a reply.
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