Hopefully won't put you off if I ramble.
Girlfriend is very bi-curious and has never been with another girl. Her fantasies are: being tied up/blindfolded and fucked by a girl, me and a girl, 2 men, 6+ men and a mix of men and women. She'd also like to do these fantasies untied/unblindfolded.
Trouble is we're both very shy and inexperianced. and i'm a bit more nervous than her.
What I want to know is whether it would be better having her tied up and blindfolded the first time (she's happy with this and i'd feel alittle less nervous this way too) or to be unrestricted.
And also whats the best way to organise such things... She says just to find people of a dating site but i'm worried they'll be too many guys just up for a quick shag. I'd feel more comfortable with a couple perferably married the first time. And for the guys to be experianced when it comes to it.
Any advice would be appreciated.
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Right I'm now officially adopting you both :shock: the reasons being you and your partner are the same age as me and mine (back then) at the time we started asking the same questions, and to be honest we didn't know which way to turn or even what to do about it. Now we were lucky enough to find some like minded people who were already good friends.
But as for your situation you can't go wrong using this site, stick some pics of you both on your profile body shots are ok if you don't want to show your face's and they can even be clothed ones just so as people can get an idea of what you look like. Take your time post ad's in the photo section or even in the lets meet up forum stating excactly what you are looking for, just be aware that some will reply regardless of your criterea just bin them most do
It may take some time to find excactley what your looking for but don't be put off but take things at your own pace and keep talking to each other about what your both thinking of the situation if you need advice or have questions never hesitate to ask in here as there is plenty of people who are willing to give advice, meet people for a social drink before hand to at least be sure they are who they say they are and that you all get along.
In edit: its quite late now but i'm sure if you come back in 12 hours or so others will have added more advice to this thread as we are a friendly bunch
But as for your situation you can't go wrong using this site, stick some pics of you both on your profile body shots are ok if you don't want to show your face's and they can even be clothed ones just so as people can get an idea of what you look like. Take your time post ad's in the photo section or even in the lets meet up forum stating excactly what you are looking for, just be aware that some will reply regardless of your criterea just bin them most do
It may take some time to find excactley what your looking for but don't be put off but take things at your own pace and keep talking to each other about what your both thinking of the situation if you need advice or have questions never hesitate to ask in here as there is plenty of people who are willing to give advice, meet people for a social drink before hand to at least be sure they are who they say they are and that you all get along.
In edit: its quite late now but i'm sure if you come back in 12 hours or so others will have added more advice to this thread as we are a friendly bunch
Hi
I think everyone needs to decide there own boundaries and what makes them feel most comfy for their first time in a swinging situation.
Some like to meet via social situations, others through ads or at clubs.
Do you want friendship with those you play with, or is it anonymity you are looking for?
Remember nothing is cast in stone and you can change your mind and move your boundaries if they aren't quite right to start with, or circumstances change.
I really can't advise on the tying up thing because it's not anything I've done with others (although I have been considering some light bondage recently :shock: ) but from my point of view it seems quite intense for a first time.
If you feel you would be happier with a couple to begin with, then I would go forward with that, there's no point in you feeling uncomfortable or nervous, remember it's an experience for both of you.
Talk to one another (a lot) and really think about what you feel you can cope with for the first time and then how you want to meet.
Be prepared for disppointments, some people aren't genuine, some may suffer from nerves, or another problem may arise. You may need to be patient.
Remember some fantasies are great in your bed and head, but may be overwhelming in reality.
If you do advertise then be clear about what you are looking for to try and get suitable meets.
Talk some more.
I can remember how nervous I was the first time we played
ops: :oops: but it turned out to be a wonderful experience.
So good luck.
I'm sorry if it doesn't sound ever so positive but you really need to be in your comfort zone for it to be a great experience.
Jas
XXX
I think everyone needs to decide there own boundaries and what makes them feel most comfy for their first time in a swinging situation.
Some like to meet via social situations, others through ads or at clubs.
Do you want friendship with those you play with, or is it anonymity you are looking for?
Remember nothing is cast in stone and you can change your mind and move your boundaries if they aren't quite right to start with, or circumstances change.
I really can't advise on the tying up thing because it's not anything I've done with others (although I have been considering some light bondage recently :shock: ) but from my point of view it seems quite intense for a first time.
If you feel you would be happier with a couple to begin with, then I would go forward with that, there's no point in you feeling uncomfortable or nervous, remember it's an experience for both of you.
Talk to one another (a lot) and really think about what you feel you can cope with for the first time and then how you want to meet.
Be prepared for disppointments, some people aren't genuine, some may suffer from nerves, or another problem may arise. You may need to be patient.
Remember some fantasies are great in your bed and head, but may be overwhelming in reality.
If you do advertise then be clear about what you are looking for to try and get suitable meets.
Talk some more.
I can remember how nervous I was the first time we played
ops: :oops: but it turned out to be a wonderful experience.So good luck.
I'm sorry if it doesn't sound ever so positive but you really need to be in your comfort zone for it to be a great experience.
Jas
XXX
Thanks Sheddy :-) Very Much appreciated. May I ask some questions?
How acceptable is it to have your own way? I mean how simpathetic are people if you change your mind extra? If you lose your bottle the first time are you very unlikely to meet again?
Also are there many females/couples that are happy to play with a my gf while I watch and possibly join in (only to play with my gf mind you i'd keep my hands off the other party.)?
One last thing, are hotel meets a good idea? (We'd pay for the room)
How acceptable is it to have your own way? I mean how simpathetic are people if you change your mind extra? If you lose your bottle the first time are you very unlikely to meet again?
Also are there many females/couples that are happy to play with a my gf while I watch and possibly join in (only to play with my gf mind you i'd keep my hands off the other party.)?
One last thing, are hotel meets a good idea? (We'd pay for the room)
Quote by mrbusyhands
Thanks Sheddy :-) Very Much appreciated. May I ask some questions?
How acceptable is it to have your own way? I mean how simpathetic are people if you change your mind extra? If you lose your bottle the first time are you very unlikely to meet again? It's your bodies and you do excactley what you want with them and if anybody says any differant tell them to sling there hook don't let others lead you it's your experiance as much as theirs and any decent person will respect any boundaires you or your partner set
Also are there many females/couples that are happy to play with a my gf while I watch and possibly join in (only to play with my gf mind you i'd keep my hands off the other party.)?
In short yes lots of them its a broad church and there is someone for every situation out there
One last thing, are hotel meets a good idea? (We'd pay for the room)
Yes to be honest, some meet at home others prefer hotels it's your choice and meet where you feel comfortable
Quote by Jas-Tim
Do you want friendship with those you play with, or is it anonymity you are looking for?
I'm sorry if it doesn't sound ever so positive but you really need to be in your comfort zone for it to be a great experience.
Jas
XXX
We're looking for anonymity (we're hoping to play far away from were we stay, travelling isn't a big deal) but if we made friends with a nice couple who could talk to us give advice etra and perhaps play with us would be nice.
Lol I'm thankful it's not that positive at least this way my nerves are justified :-)
As for the bondage, she's not into really hard stuff, we were thinking more along the lines of being tied spread eagled and blindfolded and being teased and played with. I was thinking that would be a good way to start so we don't sit around like we're clueless. And she likes being tied up too.
AmI right in saying that for a gangbang it's best to invite individuals (ie none of the participants know each other?)
Quote by mrbusyhands
We're looking for anonymity (we're hoping to play far away from were we stay, travelling isn't a big deal) but if we made friends with a nice couple who could talk to us give advice etra and perhaps play with us would be nice.
Lol I'm thankful it's not that positive at least this way my nerves are justified :-)
As for the bondage, she's not into really hard stuff, we were thinking more along the lines of being tied spread eagled and blindfolded and being teased and played with. I was thinking that would be a good way to start so we don't sit around like we're clueless. And she likes being tied up too.
I still get nervous before meeting people, and only got the nerve up to go to have sex in a club 6 months ago.
Every time is exciting but I learn more about what I'm happy with, and where my fantasies may be leading me to :twisted:
I think if you want anonymous style meets, then placing an ad, or a thread in Lets Meet Up would be a step forward.
If you aren't interested in meeting socially before the event, then be quite specific in your ad. Tthen in follow up contact, set out the criteria for the meet so that everyone is comfortable and knows what the plan is.
If you change your mind (and it does happen, you won't be the only people to have ever done it) then be polite and explain what's happened.
If you've met the right type of people they should understand as it's possible they've been in that situation.
There are no guarantees for a successful meet, but if you communicate thoroughly with all involved parties, it defintely makes it easier.
I've never done a hotel meet, as just a hotel meet, but I know many do so you'll probably be able to get some advice tomorrow.
Jas
XXX
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Quote by mrbusyhands
Before I ask another question whats the etiquette on posting new topics? One a day ? just use your common sense and don't post tons?
It's up to you how many topics you want to post but it's worth doing a search or reading through previous pages to see if the subjects been covered already. You can pick up some very useful tips and advice doing that, however tedious it may seem.
Nice to meet you anyway and I hope you enjoy it here
Quote by mrbusyhands
Has anyone done a meet where the wife is tied up and all thats involved is playing with her tied up? If so how'd it go?
Yes, we have done that but was only tied up for about the first 1/2 hour..Shaz didn't know his name or even what he looked like until i took the blindfold of... went very well to
You sound just like we did when we joined about a year ago... wanted to try lots of sexy things but didn't know what way to turn
Tried most things now so have to keep thinking of new things I would deffo suggest not having her tied up for your first few meets, if she decided she didn't like it and was tied up it could cause a lot of embarrassment :(
I think you should try meeting a couple of people first, then sit and talk about what has happened between the pair of you, talk about what you did and didn't like etc.. set any boundaries then think about going to your next level... thats how we did it and it worked great for us...
Tony
