bi curious or not............

15 Jul 2006

Well said posh....these are my sentiments exactly. Not wanting a "relationship" with a woman is the reason I dont like referring to myself as bi. I think although we all (pretty much) would see a biSEXUAL person as someone who enjoys SEX with either sex.
However.....Heterosexual= Forming relationships with the opposite sex
Homosexual= Forming relationships with the same sex.
So the term Bisexual should really mean = forming relationships with either.
Maybe we need another word? I'll plump for plain ole greedy! :twisted:
Apologies if i've not expressed myself too well- avoiding typing too much as I came a cropper & knackered my thumb redface

Ow!

15 Jul 2006

Right I may fook this up but I'll offer my tupence worth now, basically I have the same views on it as Kate and they are MY views not simply me agreeing with her biggrin

This is a topic we have talked about with a few people and it's always sparked debate so the lady of the shed thought she'd open it up on here to get a wider opinion :D
It all comes down to how different people interpret the word Bi Curious and winch wenchâ€™s post summed it up to an extent for me (perhaps we do need another word) Now the way I put it last night is.......................
You can have intimate relations with both sexes and I'm talking about more than sex here I'm talking closeness and loving relationship, but could you see yourself walking down to tescos hand in hand (paraphrasing here) to do your big shop in the same way Kate and I do. (Technically thatâ€™s not really us she writes a list draws me a map I go get lost forget things and come back with my tail between my legs redface

)

15 Jul 2006

Quote by sheddy
I'm talking closeness and loving relationship, but could you see yourself walking down to tescos hand in hand

Yes !

Shaz x

15 Jul 2006

Quote by Shaz_n_Tony

I'm talking closeness and loving relationship, but could you see yourself walking down to tescos hand in hand

Yes !

Shaz x
:D :D Fair play and a quick peek at your profile (it's the first time i've looked honest Shaz innocent

) Shows the word bisexual but Kate can't see herself doiing that hence the word curious :D

15 Jul 2006

Quote by sheddy

I'm talking closeness and loving relationship, but could you see yourself walking down to tescos hand in hand

Yes !

Shaz x
:D :D Fair play and a quick peek at your profile (it's the first time i've looked honest Shaz innocent

) Shows the word bisexual but Kate can't see herself doiing that hence the word curious :D
hehe i am proud of what i am so don't mind displaying it on profile....
But Sheddy.. as i said in my earlier post...
When i had just started playing with females i wouldn't of dreamed of going out with one then but i still classed myself as bi as i wasn't curious no more
If i had tried it and not liked it then i would of said i was still straight..
How i see it is....
The word curious meens curious...
From the dictionary curious meens "Eager to learn more: curious investigators; a trapdoor that made me curious."
once the curious part goes what does that make you?
If you wanted to know what goes on behind that big door at number 17 where all the noises are you would be curious.
Once you have seen what goes on then your no longer curious !
Yes i agree to that we need another word..
we need a word for someone that would have sex or a relationship with either sex..
as bisexual just meens you would have sex with either.
Shaz x

15 Jul 2006

I think the nail's been hit on the head.
In my profile, there's no boxes ticked, and very little in the free text box; at the moment.
The question about "how bisexual" a girl is came up a few times in this house.
There could be more boxes, but where would it end ?
I can't agree about the "relationship" argument, but do see HLB's (an others') point. It's pretty much the same as me as a straight bloke. But to say I'm "straight with the right people" would just confuse even further :grin:
I can't get past seeing people who say they are "bi-curious" as thinking about same sex sex or people that are "fully" (?????) bi being attracted, and somewhat experienced in, to same same sex sex.
I can't get past it, but I do see that it's not as clear cut as that.
But I do now fully accept her description of "bisexual with the right girl" - in the same way that I'm horny as fuck . . . .
. . . with the right girl wink

15 Jul 2006

Quote by dambuster
But I do now fully accept her description of "bisexual with the right girl" - in the same way that I'm horny as fuck . . . .
. . . with the right girl

Perhaps that is the key Dammie..... With the right person :wink:

15 Jul 2006

Quote by splendid33

I'm not sure what I would feel in a situation where it was just me and another girl.
Love
Fire xx

Let me help you with that fire wink

on the topic tho'
I would say that Bi-curious is someone who thinks that they like the idea of being with the same gender but has yet to try it or explore that feeling (with or without their partner)
bi-sexual is someone who has a definate attraction for the same gender sexually and has probably tried it and likes it.
Id go with that, but add that it applies to singles aswell.

Quote by splendid33
to me the "relationship" aspect is a seperate subject. I think that I am right in saying that the ladies that have spoken on here are in long term relationships already (not sass) and what you are attempting to imagine is replacing your partner with another one... which is not what you are swinging for. The gender of that imaginary partner is irrelevent in my opinion.

Yep that too
I'm curious but dont think i would act on that but also i havent checked any of the bi boxes in my profile as there isn't a currious box there. But my text does state that i'm currious more about transvestites etc. and often join the tv etc. chat rooms.

15 Jul 2006

ok the way i see it is........
my profile says bi male and bi curious female. why?
because ia am an experienced bi male whom has experience and enjoys sex with men
she is curious about sex with another woman hence it says bi curious for her.(allthough she has a certain "type" in mind)
these seem the most appropriate choices from the options offered.
if you wish to discuss the whole sexuality issue and trying to understand it well you had better sign up for university get a phd, doctorate and spend the rest of your life still trying to find answers to human nature rolleyes

What i do find a little amusing on here is the amount of guys whos profile says they are straight yet spend time in the gay chatrooms if they are bi why not say? seems most women are happy to indicate their sexuality yet men are not
Just my two pennies worth!

15 Jul 2006

Quote by bristol39
What i do find a little amusing on here is the amount of guys whos profile says they are straight yet spend time in the gay chatrooms if they are bi why not say? seems most women are happy to indicate their sexuality yet men are not
Just my two pennies worth!

That's a whole other topic - imho.
I'll go have a look for a relevant thread wink

15 Jul 2006

I've got a male friend who said he's often wondered about trying oral with another guy but he's straight. I told him there was such a thing as bi oral as he doesn't want penetrative sex just oral.
Needless to say he's thinking about it wink

15 Jul 2006

persuing the relationship discussion/dilemma.....
the analogy you used sheddy was walking down tesco's hand in hand... I think that your analogy is a little circumspect... I would struggle to walk hand in hand with some people that I wouldn't think twice of having sex with.
walking hand in hand as a gay/bi person with someone of the same sex is not as easy as it is for straight people. What you are talking about is going against the "norm". this isn't just about sexuality and sex. It is about putting yourself in another box for wider society. This is similar but (dare I say) more "risky" than telling others that you are swingers.
When I walk hand in hand with a woman... I am "outing" myself. In my part of the world that is dodgy to say the least. I have been spat at, called names, had bottles thrown at me just for being in a gay "area"...... walking hand in hand in broad daylight is suicidal and I wouldn't do it unless I knew that the "handee" was also prepared to deal with any repurcussions and they would have to be incredibly comfortable with who they are. I know that you were talking about it is a representative of having a relationship... but it isn't as simple for gay/bi people to have relationships as just doing it.
how many of the bi-sexual women/men on here have told anyonethat they have sex with the same gender ??? if the answer is -not many -then it is a big leap to thinking about having a relationship and a marathon away to having a relationship.
that doesn't make them any less bi-sexual tho'.
I am no less a lesbian if someone has a conversation with me assuming that I am straight. - as my area manager often does when she visits. (I let her have her assumption as my colleagues are doubled up at the thought of it- and it keeps us amused for hours)
I know that I have rambled but I hope that I have explained my point.?
splendid x x x

15 Jul 2006

Quote by bristol39
What i do find a little amusing on here is the amount of guys whos profile says they are straight yet spend time in the gay chatrooms if they are bi why not say? seems most women are happy to indicate their sexuality yet men are not

Like i said earlier there isn't a bi currious checkmark on the profile or i would most likely check it hence my little explanation in the profile text.
I dont consider myself bi as i havent tried it. Maybe one day i will then i will tick that box.
Have you found that thread Dammie id like a read save posting more here and digressing lol

. Actually i will have a search too.

15 Jul 2006

Quote by goose35
Have you found that thread Dammie id like a read save posting more here and digressing . Actually i will have a search too.

I haven't goose.
It's where I said that some guys won't put it up because of some other blokes' homophobia.
And my tea's just arrived wink

15 Jul 2006

Quote by dambuster

Have you found that thread Dammie id like a read save posting more here and digressing . Actually i will have a search too.

I haven't goose.
It's where I said that some guys won't put it up because of some other blokes' homophobia.
And my tea's just arrived wink

K i will try but first search only bought this thread up :lol: brilliant.

15 Jul 2006

Quote by splendid33
persuing the relationship discussion/dilemma.....
the analogy you used sheddy was walking down tesco's hand in hand... I think that your analogy is a little circumspect... I would struggle to walk hand in hand with some people that I wouldn't think twice of having sex with.
walking hand in hand as a gay/bi person with someone of the same sex is not as easy as it is for straight people. What you are talking about is going against the "norm". this isn't just about sexuality and sex. It is about putting yourself in another box for wider society. This is similar but (dare I say) more "risky" than telling others that you are swingers.
When I walk hand in hand with a woman... I am "outing" myself. In my part of the world that is dodgy to say the least. I have been spat at, called names, had bottles thrown at me just for being in a gay "area"...... walking hand in hand in broad daylight is suicidal and I wouldn't do it unless I knew that the "handee" was also prepared to deal with any repurcussions and they would have to be incredibly comfortable with who they are. I know that you were talking about it is a representative of having a relationship... but it isn't as simple for gay/bi people to have relationships as just doing it.
how many of the bi-sexual women/men on here have told anyone that they have sex with the same gender ??? if the answer is -not many -then it is a big leap to thinking about having a relationship and a marathon away to having a relationship.
that doesn't make them any less bi-sexual tho'.
I am no less a lesbian if someone has a conversation with me assuming that I am straight. - as my area manager often does when she visits. (I let her have her assumption as my colleagues are doubled up at the thought of it- and it keeps us amused for hours)
I know that I have rambled but I hope that I have explained my point.?
splendid x x x

Great post splendid - I live in Brighton and even here it's not hassle- free if you are hand in hand with someone of the same sex, so can imagine what it's like elsewhere smile

15 Jul 2006

Quote by Sassy-Seren
I've got a male friend who said he's often wondered about trying oral with another guy but he's straight. I told him there was such a thing as bi oral as he doesn't want penetrative sex just oral.
Needless to say he's thinking about it

Well of course it's all the possible sub-divisions that make it so complicated. I describe myself as bi-curious because I cannot imagine a circumstance in which I'd go beyond masturbation. So to describe myself in that fashion protects me and others from imagining more might be on offer than is actually the case. It may not be strictly accurate, but it's a simple and easy solution.

15 Jul 2006

Quote by winchwench
Maybe we need another word? I'll plump for plain ole greedy! :twisted:

i agree totally winch......
as others have mentioned on here the word curious does omply that its something that you are unsure about or have not tried......
my problem thou is that i dont like to say that i'm bisexual as to me i feel that by declaring myself as this is a bit insulting (cant think of the right word to use there) to those people who trully are bisexual and would have a relationship with either sex......
i think for the moment i'll stick to 'undecided' ! lol

15 Jul 2006

Quote by Sassy-Seren
I've got a male friend who said he's often wondered about trying oral with another guy but he's straight. I told him there was such a thing as bi oral as he doesn't want penetrative sex just oral.
Needless to say he's thinking about it

Well of course it's all the possible sub-divisions that make it so complicated. I describe myself as bi-curious because I cannot imagine a circumstance in which I'd go beyond masturbation. So to describe myself in that fashion protects me and others from imagining more might be on offer than is actually the case. It may not be strictly accurate, but it's a simple and easy solution.

15 Jul 2006

Well of course it's all the possible sub-divisions that make it so complicated. I describe myself as bi-curious because I cannot imagine a circumstance in which I'd go beyond masturbation. So to describe myself in that fashion protects me and others from imagining more might be on offer than is actually the case. It may not be strictly accurate, but it's a simple and easy solution.
If a guy masturbates or sucks you and you're enjoying it then you may easily find yourself going beyond your limits smile

15 Jul 2006

Quote by Darkfire
fook me I'm lost already
but, from my own perspective, I've played with women, and am attracted to women as well as blokes, therefore in my own mind, I'm bi, because i've 'done it' and liked it and want to do it again :lol:
Bi-curious, to me, is thinking about it, fantasising about it, and kinda being attracted to other fems but wont be 100% sure til you've tried it, as in played with, not just snogged
I like 1:1 with another fem, not just to play as part of a 3some.... but I like (shock horror :shock blokes far too much to want a relationship exclusively with another fem (cant call it lesbian, cos I like blokes too much, even though I rarely play with blokes from here ) - does that make any sense? :lol:
but here's where I get confused :huh: - I'm only 'bi' - as in full on fancying another fem if they 'fit ' a particular type. I'm not attracted to all women, just as i'm not attracted to all blokes, she has to 'fit' :dunno:

Totally agree babes.... after 10 (not that i'm counting) fantastic experiences.. alone, as a couple and as a 3 some i do not consider myself curious in the slightest!
It has been a journey from thinking about it.. to kisses... to fondling and exploring... as bi-curious.....
To the now fully fledged Bi sexpot happy to pleasure a sexy lady completely and as successfully as any man could.
And yes not just "any" lady, in fact Beasty and i have the same taste in women!!!
But i am happy to be in a straight relationship and always will be.
kiss

15 Jul 2006

Quote by seasider
If a guy masturbates or sucks you and you're enjoying it then you may easily find yourself going beyond your limits

Not me sport, and I've been around long enough to know!! mad

I don't like being this ancient it's just unavoidable.

15 Jul 2006

Interesting post Posh! We were having this conversation the other day when we were filling in an Employee survey at work. Mrs wasn't sure whether or not to tick heterosexual or bi as she has now been with other women a couple of times, enjoyed it and is looking forward to doing it again.
She went for hetero in the end because, like you Posh, she felt it implied more than just an interest in having sex as part of a 3some.

15 Jul 2006

Quote by seasider
If a guy masturbates or sucks you and you're enjoying it then you may easily find yourself going beyond your limits

Not me sport, and I've been around long enough to know!! mad

I don't like being this ancient it's just unavoidable.

17 Jul 2006

kate, this is part of the problem with labels ain't it? which label to go for, cos they sure as hell mean different things to you, and they sure as hell mean different things to other people? confused

i call myself bi, cos i'm well past curious, though like you, i could not conceive of an emotional relationship with a man? not happening. so if i was to define my bisexuality with even more labels, i'd be something like "emotionally straight, situationally bi", cos the bi thing is intermittent, and based on time, place, people, blah blah blah. i'm much more straight then bi, except for those times when i'm more bi than straight! all depends don't it. lol

;)
i'd prefer to avoid the whole labelling thing at all, but they have their uses, and clarify things a bit for other people, which is why i say i'm bi, rather than bi-curious, even though i'm still discovering the bi stuff. course, that doesn't mean i'm always bi, or necessarily gonna be bi with everyone that wants me to be bi, cos it all depends. as for you, bi or bi-curious. if you're still wondering about, curious fits, though other people might have a different idea of just what bi-curious means? t? ;)
neil x x x ;)

17 Jul 2006

Quote by poshkate

Ooo, I disagree.. you see I see bisexual as exactly that.... you are comfortable and turned on by sex with either sex

exactly...........i do find both sexes attractive............but i stuggle to cal myself bisexual as i would never have a relationship (in the vanila sense) with another woman...........
although i find women attractive and have had fantastic times with some.......its only in a 3sum situation and i wouldnt be interested in being with a woman in a one on one senario...... lol

but your not curious.....you wouldn't need to have a relationship with the same sex to be bisexual......you are bisexual....wether you live your life with a man doesn't make a