My goat has just been 'got' again by something I have read.
I want to start a discussion but may just come across as a rant so hang in there.
What is it about 'girl on girl action' ( I feckin' hate that term) that is deemed to be secondary and how come 'full swap' is deemed to be a heterosexual experience?
I know from being a full time lesbian and now occasional bi-sexual that there is nothing secondary about my interaction with women. Or other women's interaction with other women.
What makes 'couples with bi-fem' feel safer(if that is the correct term) with this 'fem to fem contact'?
Do they also think that full Lesbian relationships are secondary to the real deal ?(heterosexual for those who don't know)
My opinion :- I would never ever say that my sexual encounters with men are secondary to anything. By the same token I wouldn't say my sexual encounters with women are more this or that. They are sexual encounters... they are amazing, wonderful, erotic, horny etc. The gender of the other participant/s is mainly irrelevant.
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Bi-Fem
Sex God
Quote by splendid_
What makes 'couples with bi-fem' feel safer (if that is the correct term) with this 'fem to fem contact'?
Do they also think that full Lesbian relationships are secondary to the real deal ?(heterosexual for those who don't know)
My opinion :- I would never ever say that my sexual encounters with men are secondary to anything. By the same token I wouldn't say my sexual encounters with women are more this or that. They are sexual encounters... they are amazing, wonderful, erotic, horny etc. The gender of the other participant/s is mainly irrelevant.
I don't feel 'safer' with fem/fem contact as part of a couple - it's an experience in its own right. And I most certainly wouldn't describe lesbian relationships as secondary
If I did, I would expect to be hauled over the coals for saying it! 
Sex God
Quote by splendid_
someone must be able to understand the mentality and why the (in my opinion) derogatory language is used and accepted ?
please.....
I know what you mean splendid, but I think it is sadly indicative of a longheld patriarchal attitude and prevalent misogyny in the language of sex/porn/erotica etc that derives from its powerbase having been predominantly male for years.
Quote by noladreams30
someone must be able to understand the mentality and why the (in my opinion) derogatory language is used and accepted ?
please.....
I know what you mean splendid, but I think it is sadly indicative of a longheld patriarchal attitude and prevalent misogyny in the language of sex/porn/erotica etc that derives from its powerbase having been predominantly male for years.
Ummmm I suppose you are right. It makes me cross that women are buying into it and promoting it.
Sex God
Maybe its living in transititional times, I don't know. The fact that it is becoming more publicly acceptable have same sex relationships is still filtering through. I as a man love watching 2 women making out. However I am not that interested or keen on watching 2 guys.
Maybe its because i will never know what it is to be a woman that makes it interesting? The idea of another man and myself is also incomprehensible to me though i've often wondered why, and now accept i'll never know. this could add to the mystery of why watching women get it on together especially if its your partner with another the lack of comprehension and the fact that you get to watch two sets of lady bits at once very close.
Does not the Male gay community term two guys together as guy on guy action. Is that to a bit naff? I must admit I don't find the terminology offensive but then I guess im not on the receiving end
Maybe its because i will never know what it is to be a woman that makes it interesting? The idea of another man and myself is also incomprehensible to me though i've often wondered why, and now accept i'll never know. this could add to the mystery of why watching women get it on together especially if its your partner with another the lack of comprehension and the fact that you get to watch two sets of lady bits at once very close.
Does not the Male gay community term two guys together as guy on guy action. Is that to a bit naff? I must admit I don't find the terminology offensive but then I guess im not on the receiving end
Sex God
Quote by splendid_
someone must be able to understand the mentality and why the (in my opinion) derogatory language is used and accepted ?
please.....
I know what you mean splendid, but I think it is sadly indicative of a longheld patriarchal attitude and prevalent misogyny in the language of sex/porn/erotica etc that derives from its powerbase having been predominantly male for years.
Ummmm I suppose you are right. It makes me cross that women are buying into it and promoting it.
Well, we'll just have to change it won't we... we could start by reclaiming the forum - making it free of gender bias....
:doh: hang on, we'll be flamed for being right-on pc liberals again won't we?!
for splendid for raising the issue and making me think - it's why I like your posts!Nola x
Quote by Lost
Does not the Male gay community term two guys together as guy on guy action. Is that to a bit naff? I must admit I don't find the terminology offensive but then I guess im not on the receiving end
No they term it 'normal'
I am sort of joking.
But, look at the words... with womenit is referred to as 'girl on girl' men are rarely referred to as boys.
All of my male friends refer to their sex lives as normal we don't have terminology between ourselves to describe it. I believe that within swinging it is called 'guy on guy' but as above that is (slightly) more respectful.
Sex God
Quote by Lost
Does not the Male gay community term two guys together as guy on guy action. Is that to a bit naff? I must admit I don't find the terminology offensive but then I guess im not on the receiving end
I think, if I have read splendid's original post right, that it is things like "full swap" referring to heterosexual couples, as if lesbian/gay couples swapping is any less 'full' or valid or important etc - and the inherent assumption in terminology like that, that hetero sex is more real etc
Warming the Bed
I don't really like the whole gay, bi, straight labels. People get too hung up on them. Outside of the swinging world, it's all a case of who you fall for. I've know people who have thought of themselves as completely straight, then met that special person who happens to be of the same sex. Does that mean they've always been bi or gay, or is it just love.
In the case of swinging, it's all just pleasure, does it really matter if the person giving you that pleasure is the same sex?
I've been around people in so called "Alternative" relationships since I was a young teenager so maybe I'm just more open to the idea.
Disclaimer:
Please note this is only my opinion, I understand other people have different points of views and I'm not say they are wrong and I am right.
In the case of swinging, it's all just pleasure, does it really matter if the person giving you that pleasure is the same sex?
I've been around people in so called "Alternative" relationships since I was a young teenager so maybe I'm just more open to the idea.
Disclaimer:
Please note this is only my opinion, I understand other people have different points of views and I'm not say they are wrong and I am right.
Warming the Bed
umm I kind of like that Disclaimer. I may have to add that as my signature.
Sex God
Quote by splendid_
Does not the Male gay community term two guys together as guy on guy action. Is that to a bit naff? I must admit I don't find the terminology offensive but then I guess im not on the receiving end
No they term it 'normal'
I am sort of joking.
But, look at the words... with womenit is referred to as 'girl on girl' men are rarely referred to as boys.
All of my male friends refer to their sex lives as normal we don't have terminology between ourselves to describe it. I believe that within swinging it is called 'guy on guy' but as above that is (slightly) more respectful.
Yeah I get what ya mean now
I never really thought about the girl/girl boy/boy thing. I use the word girl a lot so J tells me whether its to a 2 year old or an 82 year old. I never really associated the fact of using it in the girl being a 'younger' female really where as I would associate using boy with a 'younger' male. Blimey Splendid I gotta go away and think about this. I never thought it would be thought of negatively.:?
Quote by Lost
Does not the Male gay community term two guys together as guy on guy action. Is that to a bit naff? I must admit I don't find the terminology offensive but then I guess im not on the receiving end
No they term it 'normal'
I am sort of joking.
But, look at the words... with womenit is referred to as 'girl on girl' men are rarely referred to as boys.
All of my male friends refer to their sex lives as normal we don't have terminology between ourselves to describe it. I believe that within swinging it is called 'guy on guy' but as above that is (slightly) more respectful.
Yeah I get what ya mean now
I never really thought about the girl/girl boy/boy thing. I use the word girl a lot so J tells me whether its to a 2 year old or an 82 year old. I never really associated the fact of using it in the girl being a 'younger' female really where as I would associate using boy with a 'younger' male. Blimey Splendid I gotta go away and think about this. I never thought it would be thought of negatively.:?
Well it is the first thing that puts me off meeting a couple. (well wor lass and I, but I am posting on my single account so will say I :wink: )
I have no idea why my women friends refer to themselves as the girls.
Nor why men refer to women as girls.
nor do I understand why it isnt the same with word boy.
It just seems to be the way things are.
My only theory is that the word girl sits well with a concept of feminine beauty, sensuality and probably fecundity whereas boy brings to mind a drunken lout pouring vodka down his neck.
Nor why men refer to women as girls.
nor do I understand why it isnt the same with word boy.
It just seems to be the way things are.
My only theory is that the word girl sits well with a concept of feminine beauty, sensuality and probably fecundity whereas boy brings to mind a drunken lout pouring vodka down his neck.
Splendid I know exactly what you mean but the words to describe how I see it seem to have done one at the moment 
The more random version of what I would try to say more eloquently usually is as follows:
Using the term 'girl on girl' might help to keep it light (as do playing/fun etc), sort of non committal to the bisexual sense of any sort of fem/fem interaction??
I think full swap can't necessarily apply with swinging where lesbians are concerned as they'd only do full swap with another lesbian couple in theory and they should/would already know that girl on girl was not really a good term for it and would understand the dynamics of it better by default (if I can generalise like that)
There's also a distinction between bisexuals and the sexually bi as to how they see any fem/fem contact too - in some respects it might well be secondary to their relationship or how they see sexualities, that's not to say that it should come across as such to the person who has joined them or in any ad they place looking for someone but doubtless it does in some cases.
<<<<<off to ponder why brain is not working properly tonight!
The more random version of what I would try to say more eloquently usually is as follows:
Using the term 'girl on girl' might help to keep it light (as do playing/fun etc), sort of non committal to the bisexual sense of any sort of fem/fem interaction??
I think full swap can't necessarily apply with swinging where lesbians are concerned as they'd only do full swap with another lesbian couple in theory and they should/would already know that girl on girl was not really a good term for it and would understand the dynamics of it better by default (if I can generalise like that)
There's also a distinction between bisexuals and the sexually bi as to how they see any fem/fem contact too - in some respects it might well be secondary to their relationship or how they see sexualities, that's not to say that it should come across as such to the person who has joined them or in any ad they place looking for someone but doubtless it does in some cases.
<<<<<off to ponder why brain is not working properly tonight!
Sex God
Girl on girl sounds good
Sex God
Whats a lipstick lesbian session?
A good definition is to be found in Wikipedia.
"The term has also been reinterpreted as a derogatory reference to feigned lesbianism — implying that it is as easy as lipstick to add or remove.
The term has also been applied to heterosexual women who act like lesbians to get attention, i.e. sorority girls making out at a party just to attract guys. These women are not actually lesbians."
Thereby the porn companies use it for enticement purposes in their "girl on girl action" advertisments
"The term has also been reinterpreted as a derogatory reference to feigned lesbianism — implying that it is as easy as lipstick to add or remove.
The term has also been applied to heterosexual women who act like lesbians to get attention, i.e. sorority girls making out at a party just to attract guys. These women are not actually lesbians."
Thereby the porn companies use it for enticement purposes in their "girl on girl action" advertisments