I watched a repeat last night of a programme called middle child syndrome on C5. As a few of you know, we have been having tremendous difficulty with the behaviour of our "middle" (we have four) child. The problems have been there for years, but now she has reached 13 they have gone from bad to worse.
This programme made my jaw drop- it hit every nail on the head you could imagine! From her behaviour to her relationships with, and dependance upon friends and many other things along the way- It was absolutely uncanny. It even nailed the personality traits of our eldest too- a definate leader, academic achiever and quite bossy.
I woke up this morning feeling I had to ask for the experiences of you guys- either written or via the poll- I've tried to keep that specific, as it could be confusing otherwise!
Do you fit to "type"? Are you an archetypal dominant elder child? A rebellious middle? Or a get away with it all youngest? You can even take a quiz online which suggests it can predict your birth order.
I an really interested in your experiences!
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Birth Order- Does it matter?
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Quote by Kiss
I am the middle child.
I watched the first half of that programme last night and videod the rest because I was :sleeping: but I'll be very interested to find out if the boffins did figure out who the 'middle chidren' were at the end.
You and me both Kiss.... except I didn't set the video... any chance of borrowing itafter you've finished with it?
I'm a middle one..... wonder how many swingers are "rebellious" middle children now
Quote by celestria
I am the middle child.
I watched the first half of that programme last night and videod the rest because I was :sleeping: but I'll be very interested to find out if the boffins did figure out who the 'middle chidren' were at the end.
You and me both Kiss.... except I didn't set the video... any chance of borrowing itafter you've finished with it?
I'm a middle one..... wonder how many swingers are "rebellious" middle children now
Of course but I only videod the second half, but you are welcome to borrow it.
I'm number 3 of 4 ( older and younger brothers and older sister ) and I used to think when I was younger that my sister ( number 2 ) got all the recognition and praise even though I was the more academic one. I was a single parent at 18 and remember overhearing my Mum telling her friend how disappointed she was in me but that my sis had made her so proud. My sis has made a few major fuck ups in her life too over the years, some that I would consider far more serious than mine but I've always felt inferior to her in my Mum's eyes.
The relationship with my Dad was totally different. I was very much a Daddy's girl as I was the youngest child for a few years until younger brother came along. I think it's also because my sis is so much more like my Mum than I am and I am more like my Dad.
I don't think I was rebellious though although I refuse to give into middle age without a fight, am more open minded and sexually active than she is ( I think ) and certainly a bit more grounded. She does have her moments of superiority, the airs and graces come out on display and you can guess which of us as kids, played with dolls and which of us climbed trees
As for my own kids, I only have 2 and being 12 years apart, I don't think it counts with them
The relationship with my Dad was totally different. I was very much a Daddy's girl as I was the youngest child for a few years until younger brother came along. I think it's also because my sis is so much more like my Mum than I am and I am more like my Dad.
I don't think I was rebellious though although I refuse to give into middle age without a fight, am more open minded and sexually active than she is ( I think ) and certainly a bit more grounded. She does have her moments of superiority, the airs and graces come out on display and you can guess which of us as kids, played with dolls and which of us climbed trees
As for my own kids, I only have 2 and being 12 years apart, I don't think it counts with them
I just took the test :shock: and this is what it said
***You Are Likely a Third Born***
At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable.
At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.
When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.
In friendship, you are loyal to one person.
Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer.
You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.
***You Are Likely a Third Born***
At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable.
At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.
When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.
In friendship, you are loyal to one person.
Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer.
You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.
Just did the test. It says I am an only child :shock: I am the youngest of 3 but with a big gap between me and my siblings.
At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. - YES
At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. -
When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. YES
In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.
Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.
You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books. :silly:
At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. - YES
At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. -
When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. YES
In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.
Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.
You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books. :silly:
You Are Likely A Forth Born (Technically I am in a way, I'm my dads 4th but my mums 2nd.)
At your darkest moments, you feel angry. - Maybe.
At work and school, you do best when your analyzing. - Yep!
When you love someone, you tend to be very giving. - Deffinitely.
In friendship, you don't take the initiative in reaching out. - So true.
Your ideal jobs are: factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry. - I don't think so.
You will leave your mark on the world with your own personal philosophy. - I doubt that too!
At your darkest moments, you feel angry. - Maybe.
At work and school, you do best when your analyzing. - Yep!
When you love someone, you tend to be very giving. - Deffinitely.
In friendship, you don't take the initiative in reaching out. - So true.
Your ideal jobs are: factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry. - I don't think so.
You will leave your mark on the world with your own personal philosophy. - I doubt that too!
Well I'm the second born. Just me and my older brother.
You Are Likely a Third Born
At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable.
At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.
When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.
In friendship, you are loyal to one person.
Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer.
You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.
Not too sure what I think to that but I'd like to see how it would deal with our children.
We have an older child then twins
You Are Likely a Third Born
At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable.
At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.
When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.
In friendship, you are loyal to one person.
Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer.
You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.
Not too sure what I think to that but I'd like to see how it would deal with our children.
We have an older child then twins
I'm number 3 of 4. Rebellious? Don't know - that sounds very negative. I've always been 'different'. And I've aways been attracted to everything 'alternative'.
The online tool didn't work well but then again I found the questions hard to understand:
You Are Likely A Forth Born
At your darkest moments, you feel angry. Absolutely not.
At work and school, you do best when your analyzing. Yes.
When you love someone, you tend to be very giving. Think so - but bad time to answer
In friendship, you don't take the initiative in reaching out. Yes.
Your ideal jobs are: factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry. I guess - I'm a professional working in an office; but have always said I would be happier working in a factory..
You will leave your mark on the world with your own personal philosophy. :silly:
The online tool didn't work well but then again I found the questions hard to understand:
You Are Likely A Forth Born
At your darkest moments, you feel angry. Absolutely not.
At work and school, you do best when your analyzing. Yes.
When you love someone, you tend to be very giving. Think so - but bad time to answer
In friendship, you don't take the initiative in reaching out. Yes.
Your ideal jobs are: factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry. I guess - I'm a professional working in an office; but have always said I would be happier working in a factory..
You will leave your mark on the world with your own personal philosophy. :silly:
You Are Likely a First Born
At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.
At work and school, you do best when you're researching.
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.
In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: That's fooking spooky!!
At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.
At work and school, you do best when you're researching.
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.
In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: That's fooking spooky!!
Although I am technically classed as the middle child (2nd of 3), my situation is a little different cos I have an older sister (by 4 years) and a twin brother (younger by 10 minutes).
Even that such small gap made a difference. My sister is always perfect, in tune with my parents - considered by my mum as a best friend more than anything. My brother was very poorly when he was first born, so the concern and extra care was always there from the beginning. As for me, I guess I was always expected to get on with it, because I was always good, polite and clever at school.
I tolerated it for so long, but then kicked back, being argumentative, rebellious and generally going against everything my parents wanted. I got pregnant at an early age, the whole works.
I used to even think I was adopted because I felt I didn't fit in.
There's still a bit of 'resentment' (for want of a better word), my dad is no longer with us, but my mum has always been alot closer to my sister and brother, even my two siblings are close, so I feel even excluded from them. The whole twin thing of being close and knowing what each other thinks etc never quite materialised in our house.
Btw, the test reckons I was a fourth child.......
Even that such small gap made a difference. My sister is always perfect, in tune with my parents - considered by my mum as a best friend more than anything. My brother was very poorly when he was first born, so the concern and extra care was always there from the beginning. As for me, I guess I was always expected to get on with it, because I was always good, polite and clever at school.
I tolerated it for so long, but then kicked back, being argumentative, rebellious and generally going against everything my parents wanted. I got pregnant at an early age, the whole works.
I used to even think I was adopted because I felt I didn't fit in.
There's still a bit of 'resentment' (for want of a better word), my dad is no longer with us, but my mum has always been alot closer to my sister and brother, even my two siblings are close, so I feel even excluded from them. The whole twin thing of being close and knowing what each other thinks etc never quite materialised in our house.
Btw, the test reckons I was a fourth child.......
Sex God
If the cap fits and it helps you find a way to get through to your rebel daughter, good luck.
I'm not a middle child, my parents are numbers 1 of 5 and 4 of 10, so it's difficult to say with such a wide range. Although one of them would technically be classed as a middle child, with ten of them... its not really the classic scenario to draw experience from, nor that relevant to your set up either.
Most of my friends are the eldest or youngest and my cousins who are middle children all seem to be... erm... pretty subdued in the rebel stakes. So I'm really coming up as useless for either experience or advice on this one.
That quiz though....
Wrong, wrong, wrong and erm.... wrong! I can't even stress how not true any of the following is...
You Are Likely a Third Born No! I'm an only with an adopted older brother.
At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable. No... I tend to feel useless and worthless at the bad points in my life.
At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.
No, I detest comparrison work and am at my best when creating/making things
When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.
Well hello general sweeping statement! Isn't that true of many people but I wouldn't say it was the most important factor in my loving relationships.
In friendship, you are loyal to one person.
No. I'm loyal to most of my friends until they stab me in the back or make it impossible to be their friend for a while. Again, not fitting me in a 'nail on the head' way. Loyalty is another general sweeping statement to make
Your ideal careers are: sales NO. Hated sales, police officer MAYBE, thought about it once, newspaper reporter NOT a chance!, inventor COOL!, most likely out of this list, but I'm really not motivated enough to do anything about the ideas I have! So I'd be crap it, not exactly ideal?poet NO, and animal trainer NO, don't even particularly like animal... unless that is a posh way of saying 'you're a bossy madam' ?.
You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration. No, I very much doubt that!
I'm not a middle child, my parents are numbers 1 of 5 and 4 of 10, so it's difficult to say with such a wide range. Although one of them would technically be classed as a middle child, with ten of them... its not really the classic scenario to draw experience from, nor that relevant to your set up either.
Most of my friends are the eldest or youngest and my cousins who are middle children all seem to be... erm... pretty subdued in the rebel stakes. So I'm really coming up as useless for either experience or advice on this one.
That quiz though....
Wrong, wrong, wrong and erm.... wrong! I can't even stress how not true any of the following is...
You Are Likely a Third Born No! I'm an only with an adopted older brother.
At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable. No... I tend to feel useless and worthless at the bad points in my life.
At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.
No, I detest comparrison work and am at my best when creating/making things
When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.
Well hello general sweeping statement! Isn't that true of many people but I wouldn't say it was the most important factor in my loving relationships.
In friendship, you are loyal to one person.
No. I'm loyal to most of my friends until they stab me in the back or make it impossible to be their friend for a while. Again, not fitting me in a 'nail on the head' way. Loyalty is another general sweeping statement to make
Your ideal careers are: sales NO. Hated sales, police officer MAYBE, thought about it once, newspaper reporter NOT a chance!, inventor COOL!, most likely out of this list, but I'm really not motivated enough to do anything about the ideas I have! So I'd be crap it, not exactly ideal?poet NO, and animal trainer NO, don't even particularly like animal... unless that is a posh way of saying 'you're a bossy madam' ?
.You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration. No, I very much doubt that!
To be honest, I think whilst the test can be accurate if you "conform to type" ( I use the phrase reluctantly) I believe that its much too simplistic to have any real value.
I feel that we are shaped by a variety of different experiences- and whilst not all middle kids will behave badly- the "middle child syndrome" can go some way to explaining why some of them do.
Our second child would have been our last, if things had gone to plan. However, despite the fact that I was breastfeeding her and on the mini pill, I fell pregnant again when she was just 7 months old. Despite the Doctor telling me "no no, thats quite normal.....theres no way you're expecting....blah blah".
The strain of having 3 pre school children around unfourtunately, but somewhat inevitably, led to her never having had much 1 on 1 attention.
Anyway.........any ideas on how to turn around a formerly (inadvertantly) emotionally neglected 13.5 year old gratefully accepted. Before we lose all our hair.
I feel that we are shaped by a variety of different experiences- and whilst not all middle kids will behave badly- the "middle child syndrome" can go some way to explaining why some of them do.
Our second child would have been our last, if things had gone to plan. However, despite the fact that I was breastfeeding her and on the mini pill, I fell pregnant again when she was just 7 months old. Despite the Doctor telling me "no no, thats quite normal.....theres no way you're expecting....blah blah".
The strain of having 3 pre school children around unfourtunately, but somewhat inevitably, led to her never having had much 1 on 1 attention.
Anyway.........any ideas on how to turn around a formerly (inadvertantly) emotionally neglected 13.5 year old gratefully accepted. Before we lose all our hair.
Mine says....
***You Are Likely A Forth Born***
Well that's wrong - unless my parents have a few secrets
At your darkest moments, you feel angry.
At work and school, you do best when your analyzing.
When you love someone, you tend to be very giving.
In friendship, you don't take the initiative in reaching out.
Your ideal jobs are: factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry. Oh yes - I would love to be a dentist (but not for the reasons they probably picked ) :twisted:
You will leave your mark on the world with your own personal philosophy.
***You Are Likely A Forth Born***
Well that's wrong - unless my parents have a few secrets
At your darkest moments, you feel angry.
At work and school, you do best when your analyzing.
When you love someone, you tend to be very giving.
In friendship, you don't take the initiative in reaching out.
Your ideal jobs are: factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry. Oh yes - I would love to be a dentist (but not for the reasons they probably picked ) :twisted:
You will leave your mark on the world with your own personal philosophy.
Sex God
You Are Likely an Only Child
Nope
At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.
At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.
When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.
In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.
Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.
You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.
The rest is or could be true!
Love
FIRE x
Nope
At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.
At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.
When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.
In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.
Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.
You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.
The rest is or could be true!
Love
FIRE x
Sex God
***You Are Likely a Second Born*** errr! first born
At your darkest moments, you feel inadequate. i brush myself off and get on with life
At work and school. you do best when you're evaluating.
When you love someone, you offer them constructive criticism. thats a yes
In friendship, you tend to give a lot of feedback - positive and negative. yes to this one too
Your ideal careers are: accounting, banking, art, carpentry, decorating, teaching,the only one i have done:shock: and writing novels.<<
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: me ? ye! right! as if
You will leave your mark on the world with art and creative projects. i dont think so some how :roll:
but apart from that everthing is ok
At your darkest moments, you feel inadequate. i brush myself off and get on with life
At work and school. you do best when you're evaluating.
When you love someone, you offer them constructive criticism. thats a yes
In friendship, you tend to give a lot of feedback - positive and negative. yes to this one too
Your ideal careers are: accounting, banking, art, carpentry, decorating, teaching,the only one i have done:shock: and writing novels.<<
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: me ? ye! right! as if You will leave your mark on the world with art and creative projects. i dont think so some how :roll:
but apart from that everthing is ok
Hmm, apparently, I'm an only child.
Well, in a way I suppose I was. My brother and sister were quite a bit younger than me and close together in age, so I pretty much did my own thing.
As for my middle child? A rebel? Nope. He's a graduate with a Masters in Sports Science.
My youngest is the rebel, bless her ( She's never pulled off anything to my standards as a teenager yet, though 
)
Well, in a way I suppose I was. My brother and sister were quite a bit younger than me and close together in age, so I pretty much did my own thing.
As for my middle child? A rebel? Nope. He's a graduate with a Masters in Sports Science.
My youngest is the rebel, bless her
( She's never pulled off anything to my standards as a teenager yet, though ) you are a likely third born.
hmmm
At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable.
At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.
When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.
In friendship, you are loyal to one person.
Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer.
You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.
well....
lp
hmmm
At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable.
At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things.
When you love someone, you tend to like to please them.
In friendship, you are loyal to one person.
Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer.
You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.
well....
lp
You Are Likely a Second Born
At your darkest moments, you feel inadequate.
At work and school. you do best when you're evaluating.
When you love someone, you offer them constructive criticism.
In friendship, you tend to give a lot of feedback - positive and negative.
Your ideal careers are: accounting, banking, art, carpentry, decorating, teaching, and writing novels.
You will leave your mark on the world with art and creative projects.
Hmmm! I grew up as an only (adopted) child but found out quite recently that I am indeed a second born and I am constantly evaluating in my job - either this quiz is uncannily accurate or it's just a coincidence
Either way, I definitely don't want to be an accountant although I do have an odd love of spreadsheets!
At your darkest moments, you feel inadequate.
At work and school. you do best when you're evaluating.
When you love someone, you offer them constructive criticism.
In friendship, you tend to give a lot of feedback - positive and negative.
Your ideal careers are: accounting, banking, art, carpentry, decorating, teaching, and writing novels.
You will leave your mark on the world with art and creative projects.
Hmmm! I grew up as an only (adopted) child but found out quite recently that I am indeed a second born and I am constantly evaluating in my job - either this quiz is uncannily accurate or it's just a coincidence
Either way, I definitely don't want to be an accountant although I do have an odd love of spreadsheets!
Quote by Serendipity
You Are Likely a Second Born
At your darkest moments, you feel inadequate.
At work and school. you do best when you're evaluating.
When you love someone, you offer them constructive criticism.
In friendship, you tend to give a lot of feedback - positive and negative.
Your ideal careers are: accounting, banking, art, carpentry, decorating, teaching, and writing novels.
You will leave your mark on the world with art and creative projects.
Hmmm! I grew up as an only (adopted) child but found out quite recently that I am indeed a second born and I am constantly evaluating in my job - either this quiz is uncannily accurate or it's just a coincidence
Either way, I definitely don't want to be an accountant although I do have an odd love of spreadsheets!
Utter rubbish for me, unless I have 3 older siblings that I didnt' know about as well as the pain in the neck younger brother....Fourth born....
Sex God
Quote by Serendipity
You Are Likely a Second Born
At your darkest moments, you feel inadequate.
At work and school. you do best when you're evaluating.
When you love someone, you offer them constructive criticism.
In friendship, you tend to give a lot of feedback - positive and negative.
Your ideal careers are: accounting, banking, art, carpentry, decorating, teaching, and writing novels.
You will leave your mark on the world with art and creative projects.
Hmmm! I grew up as an only (adopted) child but found out quite recently that I am indeed a second born and I am constantly evaluating in my job - either this quiz is uncannily accurate or it's just a coincidence
Either way, I definitely don't want to be an accountant although I do have an odd love of spreadsheets!
now theres a coincidence !
im adopted to :shock:
seems we have both been told the same thing :?
Quote by sercher01
You Are Likely a Second Born
At your darkest moments, you feel inadequate.
At work and school. you do best when you're evaluating.
When you love someone, you offer them constructive criticism.
In friendship, you tend to give a lot of feedback - positive and negative.
Your ideal careers are: accounting, banking, art, carpentry, decorating, teaching, and writing novels.
You will leave your mark on the world with art and creative projects.
Hmmm! I grew up as an only (adopted) child but found out quite recently that I am indeed a second born and I am constantly evaluating in my job - either this quiz is uncannily accurate or it's just a coincidence
Either way, I definitely don't want to be an accountant although I do have an odd love of spreadsheets!
now theres a coincidence !
im adopted to :shock:
seems we have both been told the same thing :?
That Madonna said thanks, but no thanks? :shock:
:giggle:
Sex God
i was just pointin somethin out Dippy
now i havent got a clue what your on about hun? :silly:
now i havent got a clue what your on about hun?
:silly: You Are Likely a First Born not technically as hav an older brother 13 months older although i matured a lot quicker than him and people always thought i was the oldest child as he was born mentally disabled
At your darkest moments, you feel guilty yes
At work and school, you do best when you're researching. so true
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.yup
In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. yup i am
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking possibly
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.will i really?
so pretty true to its word
At your darkest moments, you feel guilty yes
At work and school, you do best when you're researching. so true
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.yup
In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. yup i am
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking possibly
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.will i really?
so pretty true to its word
Sex God
I'm one of seven children from different marriages, in my dads side of the family the middle child theory seems to fit quite well but now hes grown up and practically married hes calmed right down. I'd say that i'm more of a black sheep than he ever was though so i dont know what to say, i suppose with my family the theory is wrong.
