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Bite me....

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Unknown User
At the weekend I got bitten by a horsefly on my thumb, it has now swollen up and throbbing like buggery :cry: but apart from a feeble attempt at sympathy (kisses, hugs in an ample bosom etc gratefully received.. lol ) I was wondering if anyone had any insect/animal tales of woe?
I had a friend who took a swig from a beer can and ended up with a wasp in his mouth which duely stung him several times on his tongue and an ex who came across an apparantly injured squirrel and tried to pick it up, it then sunk it's teeth into his hand and he had to swing the said squirrel around his head to get the damn thing to release it's grip....! (did I laugh you ask...?? what do you think??!!).
Rammy also has an affect on cows... they seem to go for him in the most aggressive manner (must be the 'bull' in him??).
Sheep tales and nips from trouser snakes anyone?
Unknown User
:therethere: Sorry to hear your tale of woe Dolly! Hope it heals soon!
I have been stung by a bee 4 times. On my finger, my foot and my leg and my arm! (Yes not the same bee obviously you smartarses....... oh & Meaty! wink) and by a wasp twice.
Had a lump of my thigh bitten off by an Alsatian when my mum left me in my pushchair outside a shop. (I love dogs and am not scared of them at all surprisingly.)
Unknown User
I'm a bit fearful of Alsations, I was attacked by one as a toddler, got on my back and ripped the hood off my coat... I'm thankful I was face down!!
Unknown User
Quote by Dollyminx
I'm a bit fearful of Alsations, I was attacked by one as a toddler, got on my back and ripped the hood off my coat... I'm thankful I was face down!!

God that must have been :scared:
:shock:
After I was bitten I was petrified of all dogs (except our pet one) until I was about 10 or 11.
I'm fine with them now! smile
niceandgentle
Sex God
Had the nightmare of a wasp going down my shirt collar got unbuttoned quicker than if I had an offer from Abi Titmuss!I was lucky,wabby took off without leaving a stinging reminder but he didn't half give me a fright!
Unknown User
Heard the wasp in the beer can a few times.
Bet that hurts :scared:
cockslut
Sex God
Quote by Dollyminx
I'm a bit fearful of Alsations, I was attacked by one as a toddler, got on my back and ripped the hood off my coat... I'm thankful I was face down!!

think you mean german sheperd,
cockslut
Sex God
At the weekend I got bitten by a horsefly on my thumb, it has now swollen up and throbbing like buggery :cry: but apart from a feeble attempt at sympathy (kisses, hugs in an ample bosom etc gratefully received.. lol ) I was wondering if anyone had any insect/animal tales of woe?
sympathise with you about you bite, but as we walk our dog every day in the country or by canals we're both covered in bites from flys or legs, hands, arms. bloody nuisance. having to take allergy tablets daily plus rubbing cream on them so now its got that bad we're having to spray anti fly spray all over b4 venturing out. what makes it worse is most people in chatroom say shall we go doggin as we both can't accomodate. guess my reply...
Unknown User
Quote by cockslut
I'm a bit fearful of Alsations, I was attacked by one as a toddler, got on my back and ripped the hood off my coat... I'm thankful I was face down!!

think you mean german sheperd,
Actually I meant Deutscher Schaferhund..... wink
Unknown User
Quote by Dollyminx
I'm a bit fearful of Alsations, I was attacked by one as a toddler, got on my back and ripped the hood off my coat... I'm thankful I was face down!!

think you mean german sheperd,
Actually I meant Deutscher Schaferhund..... wink
Well that was a :kissmyarse: if ever I saw one! :thumbup:
:giggle:
meat2pleaseu
Sex God
Had a wasp fly up the leg of my shorts once, while going commando. just glad i was in the house at the time as instinct caused me to yank them down and catapult them as far away as possible. just glad it didn't happen at work redface
Unknown User
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Had a wasp fly up the leg of my shorts once, while going commando. just glad i was in the house at the time as instinct caused me to yank them down and catapult them as far away as possible. just glad it didn't happen at work redface

Just a wild guess but I bet it's because the last time you did that at work you got fired? dunno
meat2pleaseu
Sex God
No, the last time i was fired was cos i walked off while the boss was trying to give me a lecture about something.
i was really thinking about it hapening while filming infront of 10000 people, might b a tad embarrasing redface
Unknown User
Quote by meat2pleaseu
No, the last time i was fired was cos i walked off while the boss was trying to give me a lecture about something.
i was really thinking about it hapening while filming infront of 10000 people, might b a tad embarrasing redface

confused:
DO tell....
Unknown User
No isect bite stories, but I did once fall asleep in the sun on a naturist beach in Germany.
I can report that sunburn on the back of the scrotum encourages a very good impersonation of the 'John Wayne walk'
Unknown User
Well this is true....
A couple of years back we were in Malaysia and decided to do this eco park thing in the middle of the jungle.. took hours to drive there and after seeing all the nice cute (nasty mother f***ing poisonous) insects and snakes and the like we were offered to go into the water park.. well it was roasting hot and so we did. We were really puzzled as to why all the locals were covered head to toe in layers of cloth even to swim in, thinking its because its a Muslim country and they are quite modest it was on with the speedo's and in the cooling water lol... about 10 mins in I was just showing a few of the local kids how to cross some floating pontoons without falling off (its a knockout style) when this flamin wasp the size of a small dog decided to take up residence on my arse cheek.... Pain???? Well I batted and swiped the bloody thing but would it shift?? It just sat there grinning I swear... The local kids were in fits, bless em.
Have we been back?? Not a chance lol..
Mike xx
Unknown User
Awww!! I would've kissed it better.....honest! rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Unknown User
Quote by DeviousLiasons
it has now swollen up and throbbing like buggery


... it's also gone very pink lol
meat2pleaseu
Sex God
Quote by Dollyminx
it has now swollen up and throbbing like buggery
... it's also gone very pink lol

what exactly are you looking at? wink
Unknown User
The swollen throbbing little pink bump that's aching to be scratched....
... of course lol
foxylady2209
Sex God
I put a shirt on and had a humungeous spider climb out and up my neck.
I've not my kit of as quick as that before or since. Although I was close the other night - - - - -
BallouBear
Orgasminator
Well, quite frankly I could write a book on this, but I will leave you with two.
On a bike ride in the New Forest I got bitten by something on my leg. Whatever is was, it was one mother of a beast. This bite swelled up to the size of a tennis ball within hours. It was a bit unfortunate that the following day, whilst I was with a Customer it burst, with the resultant mush running down my leg onto the carpet. confused
Another trip to the New Forest, whilst feeding the ducks a pony trotted up for a treat, I refused to give it some bread so it promptly turned round and kicked me in the bollocks. Now that was painful, so painful in fact, that I had to be driven to A&E, I honestly thought something had broken. Upon arrival, the nurse looked at my jeans, saw the hoof print, smiled that knowing smile, turned round and called her mates over so they could all have a giggle. Took a month for the bruising to die down and I don’t want to even think about the swelling ………………
:upset:
Unknown User
Stay away from The New Forest in future...... :shock:
Unknown User
Quote by cockslut
sympathise with you about you bite, but as we walk our dog every day in the country or by canals we're both covered in bites from flys or legs, hands, arms. bloody nuisance. having to take allergy tablets daily plus rubbing cream on them so now its got that bad we're having to spray anti fly spray all over b4 venturing out. what makes it worse is most people in chatroom say shall we go doggin as we both can't accomodate. guess my reply...

Have you tried dabbing Tea Tree Oil on your pulse points?? Works a treat wink
Manolishi rotflmao :rotflmao: redface I shouldn't laugh but :giggle: kiss
Unknown User
Quote by Dollyminx
The swollen throbbing little pink bump that's aching to be scratched....
... of course lol

I'm so glad i read the previous posts to this :lol:
Missy
Sex God
Quote by Manolishi
and called her mates over so they could all have a giggle. Took a month for the bruising to die down and I don’t want to even think about the swelling ………………
:upset:

rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
You haven't mentioned the pride and what a battering that also must've taken :rotflmao:
Missy - who's had a narrow escape when eldest was a baby. :uhoh:
The dog (parents dog I was looking after) got too close to a curious foal, and mum decided to take umbrage.
We all looked like a bluddy organised convoy charging up the heath confused ....... taking up the rear was mum horse who was keeping near her curious foal, who happened to be after me, who was pushing the pushchair, which was keeping up with the dog at the front - Now speed that lot up by what felt like about 50mph (specially the pushchair bit containing bouncing, borderline flailing, toddler over lumpy bumpy ground!) and you have an idea. Dread to think what the convoy looked like to a passer by :undecided: redface
Sorry, off on a tangent there, that was nowt to do with being bitten surprisedops: just got reminded of the incident, and out it blurted :? :oops:
BallouBear
Orgasminator
Quote by Missy
Missy - who's had a narrow escape when eldest was a baby. :uhoh:
The dog (parents dog I was looking after) got too close to a curious foal, and mum decided to take umbrage.
We all looked like a bluddy organised convoy charging up the heath confused ....... taking up the rear was mum horse who was keeping near her curious foal, who happened to be after me, who was pushing the pushchair, which was keeping up with the dog at the front - Now speed that lot up by what felt like about 50mph (specially the pushchair bit containing bouncing, borderline flailing, toddler over lumpy bumpy ground!) and you have an idea. Dread to think what the convoy looked like to a passer by :undecided: redface
Sorry, off on a tangent there, that was nowt to do with being bitten surprisedops: just got reminded of the incident, and out it blurted :? :oops:

For some reason I now have a vision of a Benny Hill sketch dunno
meat2pleaseu
Sex God
Quote by Manolishi
Well, quite frankly I could write a book on this, but I will leave you with two.
On a bike ride in the New Forest I got bitten by something on my leg. Whatever is was, it was one mother of a beast. This bite swelled up to the size of a tennis ball within hours. It was a bit unfortunate that the following day, whilst I was with a Customer it burst, with the resultant mush running down my leg onto the carpet. confused
Another trip to the New Forest, whilst feeding the ducks a pony trotted up for a treat, I refused to give it some bread so it promptly turned round and kicked me in the bollocks. Now that was painful, so painful in fact, that I had to be driven to A&E, I honestly thought something had broken. Upon arrival, the nurse looked at my jeans, saw the hoof print, smiled that knowing smile, turned round and called her mates over so they could all have a giggle. Took a month for the bruising to die down and I don’t want to even think about the swelling ………………
:upset:

rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Unknown User
When I was much younger, my cousin spent a good half hour annoying a donkey, he then called me obver and as I opened the gate the donkey bolted, knocking me over and trampling all over me, came away bruised and battered but fortunately I escaped any major harm
Xdionysusx
Master of Sex
Quote by Dollyminx
The swollen throbbing little pink bump that's aching to be scratched....
... of course lol

Mmmmmmmmm Dolly... Anytime babes x x :twisted: