Quote by brucie
you sure attract the gooduns...
she has a knack, dont ya honey lol xxxxxxxx
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Sex God
Some cheeky bint invited me round to hers to fix her computer :shock:
Sex God
Quote by varca
Some cheeky bint invited me round to hers to fix her computer :shock:
Yeah but it would take you six hours to find it with all your detouring and getting lost along the way and it will have fixed itself before you got your hands on it :grin:
I was just delaying the burning sensation in my mouth from your super hot stealth spiced dinner
(this is the closest emo to my glowing head i could find....i really needs some steam rising up for full effect :lol2: ) 
Sex God
Years ago I was enjoying the rather energetic persuit of serious session of doggy style sex and while i was shagging her i'd been rubbing her butt hole with thumbs and finger and she told me to put my fingers up inside her arse. Not a problem though awkward whilst f*cking hard in that way as well but when I did put my fingers up she just kept asking me too push my fingers in harder and harder, it became rediculous i was all but punching her butt really is hard to explain how weird it was at the time really quite violent but a bit like trying to pat your had and rub your tummy to do.
The upshot of it was great though as in the end I learned to have a vibrator at hand and if that was pushed into her butt with the vibes on full it was a great feeling for both of us.
Thinking about it the same girl used to like to rub herself off on my knee whilst we were sat on a chair.
I guess it doesn't come across as all that odd nowadays
The upshot of it was great though as in the end I learned to have a vibrator at hand and if that was pushed into her butt with the vibes on full it was a great feeling for both of us.
Thinking about it the same girl used to like to rub herself off on my knee whilst we were sat on a chair.
I guess it doesn't come across as all that odd nowadays
Sex God
Quote by varca
So have you ever been asked to do anything that you considered very weird by a sexual playmate? :shock:
you asked me to meet you lol i thought that was veryyyyyyyyyy strange pmsl
or did i ask you 
Orgasminator
I have been requested to fuck off on occasions ...have been unable to locate off otherwise i would be a willing participant.... 
Nothing to do with me or any of my past or present sexual partners. But when I used to work nights I had to supervise a right bunch of headcases and both saw and heard some really strange things.
One night some newbie had started in QC and just to wind him up we had a canteen conversation about sexual fantasies. Now I consider myself to be reasonably broad minded, but some dude started on about the desire to lie naked in a field and let someone tee off a golfball on his bellend. We were all either laughing or crying as he pondered on what might hurt the most, a nine iron or a one wood. Then there was the possibillity of the swing hitting to low and taking his tackle clean off and sending it into orbit.
The funniest hing I ever saw on that job was again durring the night. I walked into a spray coating room and one of the guys was bending over with his trowsers and pants Dow. Behind him was another guy from another dept, he was wearing a labcoat, goggles, gauntlet gloves, mobcap, and a surgical mask . In his hand was a pair of scissors and he was cutting the first guys bum hair. On a work surface nearby was a valentines card made out anonymously to the first guys older brother. They were cellotaping this guys bum hair to the card to send to his brother the next day which was valentines day.
Weird things happen on nightshifts, of course I didn't really fit in, honest!!
One night some newbie had started in QC and just to wind him up we had a canteen conversation about sexual fantasies. Now I consider myself to be reasonably broad minded, but some dude started on about the desire to lie naked in a field and let someone tee off a golfball on his bellend. We were all either laughing or crying as he pondered on what might hurt the most, a nine iron or a one wood. Then there was the possibillity of the swing hitting to low and taking his tackle clean off and sending it into orbit.
The funniest hing I ever saw on that job was again durring the night. I walked into a spray coating room and one of the guys was bending over with his trowsers and pants Dow. Behind him was another guy from another dept, he was wearing a labcoat, goggles, gauntlet gloves, mobcap, and a surgical mask . In his hand was a pair of scissors and he was cutting the first guys bum hair. On a work surface nearby was a valentines card made out anonymously to the first guys older brother. They were cellotaping this guys bum hair to the card to send to his brother the next day which was valentines day.
Weird things happen on nightshifts, of course I didn't really fit in, honest!!
Quote by varca
snip
His request..... 'Can I fake a period for him?' :shock: Now don't get me wrong, I have no issues regarding playing when the painters are in naturally but how the feck did he expect me to 'fake a period'???
You obviously haven't followed the "bloodgate" scandal at Harlequins Rugby club......
Sex God
Quote by Cherrytree
Have a wee into someone's mouth
Erm? How? Doesn't it come out a bit...erm...whirly for girlies? Like a sprinkler system as opposed to a single jet?
I'm so boring sexually I've not done anything relatively odd really. I did get talking with a really fierce submissive one time who was desperate for me to take her and be dom with her. I didn't know what I was doing but I remember telling her at one point (in a moment of rather sad, desperation trying to think of something novel yet kinky) I wanted her to be gangbanged in a field of nettles. I don't know if it hit the mark (No I do, it didn't, surprisingly) but the image, and embarrassment, has stayed with me since. :shock:
Sex God
Quote by kentswingers777
Have you ever tried having a piss when ya have a hard on? It is near impossible.
Don't take The Daily Mail into the bathroom with you then Mr K. ;-)
Sex God
Quote by BrightonGeezer
Nothing to do with me or any of my past or present sexual partners. But when I used to work nights I had to supervise a right bunch of headcases and both saw and heard some really strange things.
One night some newbie had started in QC and just to wind him up we had a canteen conversation about sexual fantasies. Now I consider myself to be reasonably broad minded, but some dude started on about the desire to lie naked in a field and let someone tee off a golfball on his bellend. We were all either laughing or crying as he pondered on what might hurt the most, a nine iron or a one wood. Then there was the possibillity of the swing hitting to low and taking his tackle clean off and sending it into orbit.
The funniest hing I ever saw on that job was again durring the night. I walked into a spray coating room and one of the guys was bending over with his trowsers and pants Dow. Behind him was another guy from another dept, he was wearing a labcoat, goggles, gauntlet gloves, mobcap, and a surgical mask . In his hand was a pair of scissors and he was cutting the first guys bum hair. On a work surface nearby was a valentines card made out anonymously to the first guys older brother. They were cellotaping this guys bum hair to the card to send to his brother the next day which was valentines day.
Weird things happen on nightshifts, of course I didn't really fit in, honest!!
thats gonna have me giggling all day
Sex God
Quote by kentswingers777
Have you ever tried having a piss when ya have a hard on? It is near impossible.
Its not that difficult.....Getting the aim right is the hard part :lol2:
Quote by varca
When we were younger I slapped what I thought was vasaline on my Cock and slid it into Diane's bum.
It turned out to be vicks vapour rub :shock: You can imagine Diane's screams once the warm tingling sensation turned to a hot burning one!
:scared: :shock:
:karaoke: Whoooooooaaaaaooo this sex is on fiiiiiirreeee :karaoke: