on your faces.TESCO DIAGNOSTIC COMPUTER
One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
"Listen, don't waste your time at the surgery," Mike replies
There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco's. Just give it a urine sample & the computer will tell you what's wrong & what to do about it. It only takes ten seconds & cost .... a lot quicker & it's better than the doctor & you also get Club Card Points as well!
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar & takes it to Tesco. He deposits his five pounds & the computer lights up & ask for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the computer slot & waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water & avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks.
That evening whilst thinking how amazingthis new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. So he mixed up some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife & daughter, & pleasured himself into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposited his five pounds, poured in his concoction & waited 4 the results. The computer printed the following:
1) Your tap water is too hard, Get a water softener.
2)Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3)Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4)Your wife is pregnant with twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5)& if you don't stop playing with yourself your elbow will never get any better.
THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT TESCO'S
Very best wishes to you all regards Muffinman_1 Steve
