Recently I got talking to a lovely single guy who I was really looking forward to meeting.
Then out of the blue he told me that he had previously played with someone else and they agreed to buddy up and tell each other of any other meets.
Apparently when he told her of our pending meet she was not happy and he called it off.
I have had time to think about this and actually feel quite annoyed that he didn't tell me of this agreement before offering to meet me, or at least talk to her before offering. I don't like the fact that I didn't know he had a buddy or that I was going to be topic of conversation and most of all that a 3rd person could decide if I was ok to be met or not.
Is this a typical situation and what are your feelings on this? Has it ever happened to you?
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Buddy Agreements
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Quote by venus68
Recently I got talking to a lovely single guy who I was really looking forward to meeting.
Then out of the blue he told me that he had previously played with someone else and they agreed to buddy up and tell each other of any other meets.
Apparently when he told her of our pending meet she was not happy and he called it off.
I have had time to think about this and actually feel quite annoyed that he didn't tell me of this agreement before offering to meet me, or at least talk to her before offering. I don't like the fact that I didn't know he had a buddy or that I was going to be topic of conversation and most of all that a 3rd person could decide if I was ok to be met or not.
Is this a typical situation and what are your feelings on this? Has it ever happened to you?
It sounds more like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to me than just "buddies." In that situation, or when playing with one half of any couple , I'd expect their OH to have a right to veto.
I do think he should have made it clear to you first though.
Quote by winchwench
Recently I got talking to a lovely single guy who I was really looking forward to meeting.
Then out of the blue he told me that he had previously played with someone else and they agreed to buddy up and tell each other of any other meets.
Apparently when he told her of our pending meet she was not happy and he called it off.
I have had time to think about this and actually feel quite annoyed that he didn't tell me of this agreement before offering to meet me, or at least talk to her before offering. I don't like the fact that I didn't know he had a buddy or that I was going to be topic of conversation and most of all that a 3rd person could decide if I was ok to be met or not.
Is this a typical situation and what are your feelings on this? Has it ever happened to you?
It sounds more like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to me than just "buddies." In that situation, or when playing with one half of any couple , I'd expect their OH to have a right to veto.
I do think he should have made it clear to you first though.
I think this is where I am a little annoyed. I usually meet single guys as there are no ties and if we get on it means we can meet when ever we like. It totally changes the dynamics and what I thought the situation was.
This thread raises a couple of questions for me.
Yes, I agree that if a potential playmate had a Buddy with whom they discuss other meetings with the power of veto, it would be best to know that at the outset. It measures up almost with meeting someone who plays seperately from their 'actual' partner if there are those levels of discussion. And this may be a situaution that you may not have wanted to get into in the first place.
We have a 'Descretion' thread running at present too... so where does the descretion come into the equation when you discover after chatting etc that you have been a subject of disection and evaluation with an unknown third party?
then of course, a slim though viable link here... is how the opinions of others may alter once it is known that you may/maynot have met with a certain someone. The opinions of others do tend to travel and echo through sites like these (speaking very generaly of course) and could change the perception of a person you have previously already been chatting away to quite merrily.
Of course, we are all individuals (aside from my recent cloning experiment, but more of that later) and as such will devlop ourown rules for our safety, comfort and pleasure, but surely, if there are 'stipulations' that would/will affect the outcome of a little harmless play-planning, wouldn't it be best for the concerned parties to lay that on the table at the outset?
enough of that rubbish... I've just reminded myself I must go drain the tanks and feed the axolotl-orbit.
Where's me gloves?
lp
Yes, I agree that if a potential playmate had a Buddy with whom they discuss other meetings with the power of veto, it would be best to know that at the outset. It measures up almost with meeting someone who plays seperately from their 'actual' partner if there are those levels of discussion. And this may be a situaution that you may not have wanted to get into in the first place.
We have a 'Descretion' thread running at present too... so where does the descretion come into the equation when you discover after chatting etc that you have been a subject of disection and evaluation with an unknown third party?
then of course, a slim though viable link here... is how the opinions of others may alter once it is known that you may/maynot have met with a certain someone. The opinions of others do tend to travel and echo through sites like these (speaking very generaly of course) and could change the perception of a person you have previously already been chatting away to quite merrily.
Of course, we are all individuals (aside from my recent cloning experiment, but more of that later) and as such will devlop ourown rules for our safety, comfort and pleasure, but surely, if there are 'stipulations' that would/will affect the outcome of a little harmless play-planning, wouldn't it be best for the concerned parties to lay that on the table at the outset?
enough of that rubbish... I've just reminded myself I must go drain the tanks and feed the axolotl-orbit.
Where's me gloves?
lp
Sex God
ok i was a single fem (not any more) but while i was single i used a buddie/s to tell where i was going and who with giving extimated times i would be away ... also tho we used each other to 'bounce' ideas off as to who i/we were meeting and if they had any reservations as to whether it was a good idea to meet somoneone, and sometimes i have cancelled an arranged meet because my 'buddie' had a bad vibe against the person i was due to meet and i am a great believer to listen to instincs be my own or a good friend.
do not be upset that this person discussed meeting you with their buddie i am sure that they were only thinking of their own safey (allbeit unfounded that you were unsafe to meet) and that meeting you or not would not have gone any further than their buddie
do not be upset that this person discussed meeting you with their buddie i am sure that they were only thinking of their own safey (allbeit unfounded that you were unsafe to meet) and that meeting you or not would not have gone any further than their buddie
Quote by Sara_2006
ok i was a single fem (not any more) but while i was single i used a buddie/s to tell where i was going and who with giving extimated times i would be away ... also tho we used each other to 'bounce' ideas off as to who i/we were meeting and if they had any reservations as to whether it was a good idea to meet somoneone, and sometimes i have cancelled an arranged meet because my 'buddie' had a bad vibe against the person i was due to meet and i am a great believer to listen to instincs be my own or a good friend.
do not be upset that this person discussed meeting you with their buddie i am sure that they were only thinking of their own safey (allbeit unfounded that you were unsafe to meet) and that meeting you or not would not have gone any further than their buddie
Don't you think I should have been told before arranging to meet that he had a buddy who he would have to get agreement off first though?
Safety? I think it was more about her not wanting him to meet another woman full stop. I would not have arranged to meet a guy that was beholding to another woman, simple as.
Quote by Sara_2006
ok i was a single fem (not any more) but while i was single i used a buddie/s to tell where i was going and who with giving extimated times i would be away ... also tho we used each other to 'bounce' ideas off as to who i/we were meeting and if they had any reservations as to whether it was a good idea to meet somoneone, and sometimes i have cancelled an arranged meet because my 'buddie' had a bad vibe against the person i was due to meet and i am a great believer to listen to instincs be my own or a good friend.
do not be upset that this person discussed meeting you with their buddie i am sure that they were only thinking of their own safey (allbeit unfounded that you were unsafe to meet) and that meeting you or not would not have gone any further than their buddie
sara, do you actually know that ? I don't know Venus. I have never met her, spoken to her, I don't even really know if venus is a woman.
Swinging is a dangerous activity if you take anything for granted. We all should take care and if this person backed out of a meet then we should all respect their reasons for doing so. We all need to take care of ourselves however we each do that.
I, as a single swinger... (unless wor lass is around)meet someone away from my home and always ensure they are turning up in a car. I text their number plate to a mate.. and their log in names and any other info they have let slip. Just in case they are a nutter and it gives my friends a head start on finding my dismembered remains.
Luckily there has been no need to trace me
. But I always do it. safety and protection are the underlying factors when having wanton sex with random strangers.
Quote by splendid_
ok i was a single fem (not any more) but while i was single i used a buddie/s to tell where i was going and who with giving extimated times i would be away ... also tho we used each other to 'bounce' ideas off as to who i/we were meeting and if they had any reservations as to whether it was a good idea to meet somoneone, and sometimes i have cancelled an arranged meet because my 'buddie' had a bad vibe against the person i was due to meet and i am a great believer to listen to instincs be my own or a good friend.
do not be upset that this person discussed meeting you with their buddie i am sure that they were only thinking of their own safey (allbeit unfounded that you were unsafe to meet) and that meeting you or not would not have gone any further than their buddie
sara, do you actually know that ? I don't know Venus. I have never met her, spoken to her, I don't even really know if venus is a woman.
Swinging is a dangerous activity if you take anything for granted. We all should take care and if this person backed out of a meet then we should all respect their reasons for doing so. We all need to take care of ourselves however we each do that.
I, as a single swinger... (unless wor lass is around)meet someone away from my home and always ensure they are turning up in a car. I text their number plate to a mate.. and their log in names and any other info they have let slip. Just in case they are a nutter and it gives my friends a head start on finding my dismembered remains.
Luckily there has been no need to trace me
. But I always do it. safety and protection are the underlying factors when having wanton sex with random strangers.
That is totally different to the subject matter, which is 'buddy agreement' of course take precautions, but you're not asking your mate if you should meet that person or not, just covering your back. Plus I personally wouldn't meet someone without having spoken to them on the phone first, which I hope would indicate their gender.
Sex God
i wasnt beholding to him and neither him to me ... i can only speek from my own experience .. i only used him as a sound board and as a saftey net just incase i needed it. if i am honest i am sure that a lot of the single fems use buddies for this. if i remember rightly i am sure there was some sort of thread a while ago about safty for single fems and some really good advice there that i am sure men use as well .. and this includes using somone to tell where you are and who with
Quote by __random_orbit__
.... (aside from my recent cloning experiment, but more of that later)....
... I've just reminded myself I must go drain the tanks and feed the axolotl-orbit.
Where's me gloves?
lp
Quote by splendid_
... nutter and it gives my friends a head start on finding my dismembered remains.
... random strangers.
My methods are now unsound, and I fear discovery. A rethink is in-hand.
lp
Sex God
Quote by splendid_
ok i was a single fem (not any more) but while i was single i used a buddie/s to tell where i was going and who with giving extimated times i would be away ... also tho we used each other to 'bounce' ideas off as to who i/we were meeting and if they had any reservations as to whether it was a good idea to meet somoneone, and sometimes i have cancelled an arranged meet because my 'buddie' had a bad vibe against the person i was due to meet and i am a great believer to listen to instincs be my own or a good friend.
do not be upset that this person discussed meeting you with their buddie i am sure that they were only thinking of their own safey (allbeit unfounded that you were unsafe to meet) and that meeting you or not would not have gone any further than their buddie
sara, do you actually know that ? I don't know Venus. I have never met her, spoken to her, I don't even really know if venus is a woman.
Swinging is a dangerous activity if you take anything for granted. We all should take care and if this person backed out of a meet then we should all respect their reasons for doing so. We all need to take care of ourselves however we each do that.
I, as a single swinger... (unless wor lass is around)meet someone away from my home and always ensure they are turning up in a car. I text their number plate to a mate.. and their log in names and any other info they have let slip. Just in case they are a nutter and it gives my friends a head start on finding my dismembered remains.
Luckily there has been no need to trace me
. But I always do it. safety and protection are the underlying factors when having wanton sex with random strangers.
splendid although you have a point i was trying to make the point that that in their own eyes the reason for being cancelled was unfounded not that i actualy know the person conserned.
i know and understand that swinging is dangerouse and my buddie system at the time was only a part of my saftey system .... i can not and do not understand why it would need divulging that i have this safty system in place and do not fully agree with some views that it should be divulged that you use this system of security ... be you male/female/tv/cd whatever safty first by whatever means you deem appropriate and if the other party cannt understand about this then it is their problem not mine for only thinking of my safty
Quote by venus68
ok i was a single fem (not any more) but while i was single i used a buddie/s to tell where i was going and who with giving extimated times i would be away ... also tho we used each other to 'bounce' ideas off as to who i/we were meeting and if they had any reservations as to whether it was a good idea to meet somoneone, and sometimes i have cancelled an arranged meet because my 'buddie' had a bad vibe against the person i was due to meet and i am a great believer to listen to instincs be my own or a good friend.
do not be upset that this person discussed meeting you with their buddie i am sure that they were only thinking of their own safey (allbeit unfounded that you were unsafe to meet) and that meeting you or not would not have gone any further than their buddie
sara, do you actually know that ? I don't know Venus. I have never met her, spoken to her, I don't even really know if venus is a woman.
Swinging is a dangerous activity if you take anything for granted. We all should take care and if this person backed out of a meet then we should all respect their reasons for doing so. We all need to take care of ourselves however we each do that.
I, as a single swinger... (unless wor lass is around)meet someone away from my home and always ensure they are turning up in a car. I text their number plate to a mate.. and their log in names and any other info they have let slip. Just in case they are a nutter and it gives my friends a head start on finding my dismembered remains.
Luckily there has been no need to trace me
. But I always do it. safety and protection are the underlying factors when having wanton sex with random strangers.
That is totally different to the subject matter, which is 'buddy agreement' of course take precautions, but you're not asking your mate if you should meet that person or not, just covering your back. Plus I personally wouldn't meet someone without having spoken to them on the phone first, which I hope would indicate their gender.
no, it isn't different. The person's lifestyle that you are meeting is not your business. If they class themselves as single. They are single. I have a couple of fuck buddies and a partner. I still class myself as a single swinger because I live alone and my partner would just take the royal pee if someone rang her to 'check' that I was o.k. to swing with them. My fuck buddies also have no say. What this chap has done is his own business and for whatever reason he values his FB's opinion.
I always value FB's opinion. Whether I agree with it or not is my business.
Quote by Sara_2006
splendid although you have a point i was trying to make the point that that in their own eyes the reason for being cancelled was unfounded not that i actualy know the person conserned.
i know and understand that swinging is dangerouse and my buddie system at the time was only a part of my saftey system .... i can not and do not understand why it would need divulging that i have this safty system in place and do not fully agree with some views that it should be divulged that you use this system of security ... be you male/female/tv/cd whatever safty first by whatever means you deem appropriate and if the other party cannt understand about this then it is their problem not mine for only thinking of my safty
:thumbup:
Quote by venus68
I'm not sure how this got onto a safety issue. It's nothing to do with safety.
I was talking about the fact that the guy I thought was single had to tell his buddy (that I new nothing about)he wanted to meet me and gain her approval.
In my view if someone has a buddy relationship that includes approving meets as a single then they aren't single. Of course he should have made that clear before arranging to meet you, it's just courtesy.
The safety issue is separate, and I'd encourage any single girl to have someone they told about meets happening and to check in with.
Sex God
OMG a sock puppet! :shock:
Quote by Bonedigger
can there not be a category then for with a fuck buddy who isnt my real partner?? that way you know that although the person ISNT married, does have a person that they look to to a meet?
Lol I don't think that is really necessary. I just think it should be mentioned in the profile that they have a buddy and then you can bring the question up in conversation without any drama. It just needs to be acknowledged.
well thats kinda what i was getting after venus only a bit tongue in cheek!! LOL....
it is, i would have though only common courtesey to let someone looking at your profile, who is looking for a SINGLE with no strings/commitments/baggage/someone in the background to seek permission to play from, to know if you do have another person who will be looking at a play request along with them and saying either yay or nay to it
sounds to me like his FB was jealous cos u are so yummy...maybe she felt threatened
it is, i would have though only common courtesey to let someone looking at your profile, who is looking for a SINGLE with no strings/commitments/baggage/someone in the background to seek permission to play from, to know if you do have another person who will be looking at a play request along with them and saying either yay or nay to it
sounds to me like his FB was jealous cos u are so yummy...maybe she felt threatened
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
OMG a sock puppet! :shock:
Awwww, yer not scared are you Vicky?
Sex God
Quote by meat2pleaseu
OMG a sock puppet! :shock:
Awwww, yer not scared are you Vicky?
Yeah but, no but...
Sexlightened
there really are no honest people left in the world are there? 
i just dont understand why people need to keep things a secret or lie. even if the person you want changes their mind about you and doesnt want to meet you, its not like there arnt other girls to chat to around here is it?
i just dont understand why people need to keep things a secret or lie. even if the person you want changes their mind about you and doesnt want to meet you, its not like there arnt other girls to chat to around here is it?
Quote by venus68
Recently I got talking to a lovely single guy who I was really looking forward to meeting.
Then out of the blue he told me that he had previously played with someone else and they agreed to buddy up and tell each other of any other meets.
Apparently when he told her of our pending meet she was not happy and he called it off.
I have had time to think about this and actually feel quite annoyed that he didn't tell me of this agreement before offering to meet me, or at least talk to her before offering. I don't like the fact that I didn't know he had a buddy or that I was going to be topic of conversation and most of all that a 3rd person could decide if I was ok to be met or not.
Is this a typical situation and what are your feelings on this? Has it ever happened to you?
For what its worth Venus, looks like the silly bugger missed out anyway!
Quote by Missy
enough of that rubbish... I've just reminded myself I must go drain the tanks and feed the axolotl-orbit.
Where's me gloves?
lp
Found em
blimey
that was from the dim & distant Missy!
Is Thora Herd still around drinking the squeezed blood of the little furry wasnames too?
the evil woman!
lp
Quote by __random_orbit__
enough of that rubbish... I've just reminded myself I must go drain the tanks and feed the axolotl-orbit.
Where's me gloves?
lp
Found em
blimey
that was from the dim & distant Missy!
Is Thora Herd still around drinking the squeezed blood of the little furry wasnames too?
the evil woman!
lp
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:Blimey LP :rotflmao: I forgot about the herd of hugs :shock: They never were rounded up and captured, heaven knows how many there are now, or even where they are :shock:
And what happened to Warmer? :shock: she must've disappeared about the same time as the herd :shock:
Maybe she's now a Huggerd and has no internet out in the middle of nowhere huggerding the flock of hugs :
