I hear the Bingo chat rooms are a blast though, and so of course(play on words here) are the fishing ones!
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Can we really be here to make friends and enjoy conversation
Sex God
Quote by Calista
Ahh I agree, but what of those who initally came here to swing, lost interest or changed their minds but all their online friends are here, they like the open-mindedness of the people and chatter and don't really go anywhere else?
Some here have been members for almost 6 years, from the sites inception but the scene/site/community has changed and they no longer actively swing? Should they leave just to make the current swingers happy?
My suggestion was to have an entire section on the Site for non sexual adult social activities. In this way the non swinging community that are on the Site don't need to leave and the active players can have their verifications then everyone is happy.
Notwithstanding that this may bring about change and not everyone is comfortable with any sort of change.
Sex God
Quote by Too Hot
Ahh I agree, but what of those who initally came here to swing, lost interest or changed their minds but all their online friends are here, they like the open-mindedness of the people and chatter and don't really go anywhere else?
Some here have been members for almost 6 years, from the sites inception but the scene/site/community has changed and they no longer actively swing? Should they leave just to make the current swingers happy?
My suggestion was to have an entire section on the Site for non sexual adult social activities. In this way the non swinging community that are on the Site don't need to leave and the active players can have their verifications then everyone is happy.
Notwithstanding that this may bring about change and not everyone is comfortable with any sort of change.
Segregation?
Sex God
Quote by Too Hot
My suggestion was to have an entire section on the Site for non sexual adult social activities.
Oooh I get what you mean!! :!: Like a kind of "everything that's not sexual" type of place?
The Cafe
General discussion and chit-chat. Post anything here that is NOT a Meet Up or about Dogging. Use the sections below for those.
;)
Quote by Crashnnix
I honestly think without any disrespect to anyone that there are many paths for many people - some play some cant or find they won't etc - so what I say - this is the human condition.
We really need to respect each other, and subscription entitles that person to chat without meeting - titilation is part of this and if some people don't find others appealing enough or dont feel they can take the plunge then so be it.
Who are we to judge lest we ourselves are judged by others.......think about it.
Brilliant post! :thumbup:
Sex God
Quote by flower411
Yep ....we don`t like em and we don`t understand em ....so stick em in a ghetto !!!
Nice sentiments from people who are supposed to be open minded !!!
Twisting the context of my post is childish at best - not even worthy of a response.
Sex God
Quote by Too Hot
Yep ....we don`t like em and we don`t understand em ....so stick em in a ghetto !!!
Nice sentiments from people who are supposed to be open minded !!!
Twisting the context of my post is childish at best - not even worthy of a response.
Yeah flower stop it ya bas****
I think the idea though that we can all mix with each other because of our latent or active roles in Swinging is cool though too hot
I tend to think of the site as a first stop shop for intending swingers. It offers a swinging backdrop, but it also offers many other things to keep you occupied; because one is not actually going to be doing that much sex, in reality. 
So did you come here to make friends? Probably not initially. But it doesn't seem like a bad idea now.
So did you come here to make friends? Probably not initially. But it doesn't seem like a bad idea now.
Sex God
Quote by Dawnie
I find it shocking that anyone feels the need to comment why another member is here :eeek:
Its their account.
Its their life.
Its their reasons!
Who gives a shit as long as it is their choice to be a member and they are having fun in their own way!
That is fundamentally the most relevant post so far!!
But to pose a question to Toohot - what if I want to socialise and swing? Have I got to have those two areas split on the site? Methinks yer having a bit of mischievous fun!!
.
Sex God
...and... this is where I've swung from - ooh and from the Let's Meet Up forum fer the munches etc.
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Quote by Theladyisaminx
ive always thought that to be on a site called "swingingheaven" and not be an active swinger is a bit of a contradiction in terms.
I also think that it would be easy for someone, say a journalist, or private Investigator to use this "angle" as a lever to delve into the private life of others and not have to use that old cliche " i made my excuses and left" if this makes sense.
Whilst i am not against people using the site purely for social reasons Im not convinced that the forums will provide you with a balanced view of all the sites members.
Dee what happens if you were active but are not now actice, but are unsure at this stage if we will be active again haven't totally ruled it out.
We are just not active right now.
Does this still mean we are swingers, were swingers or are no more swingers? If that is the correct term.
Thats a toughie!!
why not take a break from the site whilst you decide..??? It seems to be a popular option for some....me included once or twice during my membership because I was in relationships with non-swingers..
if you cant stay away as many cant, you will answer your own question.
Sex God
Quote by __random_orbit__
ahh, there's verification for ya!
wo wo wo wo!
lp
That's it - an English pound fer every verification!!
Mind you his keks are very fetchingly ripped - he must be a swinger after all!!
.
Sex God
We come here for fun
Sex God
Take what works and leave the rest Cal x When it comes to fun there is no rationing as long as you sow what you reap :-)
Sex God
I bleeeve Mr Toon tht picture shows you wearin a spiffing example of early Cheyenne Fetish Chaps - and if you think the Red Man wasnt into S&M then have a read up on the spirit huts
(which is where I am at the mo)Quote by DeeCee
ive always thought that to be on a site called "swingingheaven" and not be an active swinger is a bit of a contradiction in terms.
I also think that it would be easy for someone, say a journalist, or private Investigator to use this "angle" as a lever to delve into the private life of others and not have to use that old cliche " i made my excuses and left" if this makes sense.
Whilst i am not against people using the site purely for social reasons Im not convinced that the forums will provide you with a balanced view of all the sites members.
Dee what happens if you were active but are not now actice, but are unsure at this stage if we will be active again haven't totally ruled it out.
We are just not active right now.
Does this still mean we are swingers, were swingers or are no more swingers? If that is the correct term.
Thats a toughie!!
why not take a break from the site whilst you decide..??? It seems to be a popular option for some....me included once or twice during my membership because I was in relationships with non-swingers..
if you cant stay away as many cant, you will answer your own question.
I have the answer that I would like to happen, and I feel I should explain a little bit first.
When we joined this site I didnt expect to gain anything out of it only the possility of meeting a couple of people to have sexualy fun and pleasure with, which we have done and both enjoyed.
What I have also found it has helped me in other ways too, one of the things is the forums, before posting anything here I had never written my thoughts on anything down before, as I never had the confidence to do so.
I also have spoken to some great people that have helped me with knowledge and to understand things I never knew in topics or subjects that interest me, I am not talking sexually.
although we are in a postion at present that due to other commitments means we have decided to not meet, which I clearly state to people plus its on our profile, I do feel and some have asked why if I am not looking for sex am I on a sex site.
My hubby knows why I am here and understands my reasons why I would like to say here, partly it is because these forums have opened up a side of me that was hidden, and I have spoken to people I enjoy chatting to.
I have looked elsewhere to see if I can find somewhere that I feel there are like minded people that you can converse with on all levels that have an open mind, but feel here is the best place I have found them.
So I would like to stay on and just go about my own business without feeling at times a fraud.
I have my own reasons as stated for being here, I just have no other hidden agenda.
Some see this as a swinging site, others a sex site, I guess I see it as a place I just like to come to.
Quote by Theladyisaminx
Some see this as a swinging site, others a sex site, I guess I see it as a place I just like to come to.
And IMHO everyone is correct, there should be no problem, nobody's motives to be here should be in question, no one group should take priority over any other.
You do it your way, I'll do it mine.
Simple isn't it?
Quote by staffcple
Some see this as a swinging site, others a sex site, I guess I see it as a place I just like to come to.
And IMHO everyone is correct, there should be no problem, nobody's motives to be here should be in question, no one group should take priority over any other.
You do it your way, I'll do it mine.
Simple isn't it?
Reasonably simple, yes
Quote by Dawnie
I find it shocking that anyone feels the need to comment why another member is here :eeek:
Its their account.
Its their life.
Its their reasons!
Who gives a shit as long as it is their choice to be a member and they are having fun in their own way!
Exactly! :thumbup:
When I first joined this site I had no idea what I was doing, what to expect or how to get started. 3 years later and I've had lots of wonderful meets - both socially and sexually. Now and then I take a break from swinging but still use the forums to stay in touch with friends but I still class myself as 'in the lifestyle' until the day I hang my thigh high boots up for good!
Sex God
But, as I have said earlier, why do people feel the need to question, explain or justify their right to be here?
I am here because I pay my subscription to be here. End of.
What and why I do what I do whilst here is noone's business.
I am here because I pay my subscription to be here. End of.
What and why I do what I do whilst here is noone's business.
Some of the confusion about the "remit" of the site may have come about because of it's gradual evolution. This is my personal understanding of that genesis:
At the time of SH's inception I don't believe there were many (if any) other sites of it's kind around. People who were "swinging" had been using other media (contact mags, word of mouth etc) to discover like-minded people and arrange meets.
The original creators of the site (Mark and Helen) were swingers themselves. They found a niche in the market which could be filled by SH. I don't believe their original intent was a place to simply arrange meets. They were aiming for somewhere that people with the "swinging mentality" could get together, swap experiences, and help to grow the community. Over time other facilities were added, all designed to enhance the experience for the community.
By "swinging mentality" I'm making reference to an unwritten precept that the swinging lifestyle is about more than just non-marital sex. It's all about inclusion.
So what is the traditional defintion of a swinger?
Obviously this is a very narrow defintion. If you look at the demographic of this site you can see widespread evidence of that. The majority of people using the site fall well outside of the normal stereotype. There are some straight couples, but there are gays/lesbians, bi-sexual males/females, singles of both genders and all sexual persuasions, Transvestites, Transexuals, Cross-dressers, watersports followers, etc, etc. You get the picture.
There are also people who do not/cannot participate in the physical side of things, but if they weren't here the site would almost certainly cease to exist in it's current format. The Non-swingers all bring their own unique things to the mix. They're not simply focused on getting sex so they bring a more diverse aspect to a lot of the discussions. Without the non-sexual content, this site would just be another sex site. And we all know there's a shortage of them on the web!
And let's face it, this site is now a commercial enterprise. Any attempt at ruling out the large non-swinging population would inevitably affect the bottom line and at best would limit future investment in the site or at worst result in it's demise.
OK... time for me to put my hand up. Cubette and I are both long term members of the site, but we don't swing. We used to, but we made a personal decision some years ago that meant we stepped out of the lifestyle while we concentrate on raising our family. That means we're only here for the social aspects but "once a swinger, always a swinger" so we can't cut the ties completely. We make no false claims about our swinging status: it's on our profiles for all to see, and that seems to be good enough for those people who bother to read profiles. We never get any PMs looking for meets so it must be working as expected!
Damn it! I'm sure I had a concise point to make somewhere in there, but now it escapes me! :doh:
At the time of SH's inception I don't believe there were many (if any) other sites of it's kind around. People who were "swinging" had been using other media (contact mags, word of mouth etc) to discover like-minded people and arrange meets.
The original creators of the site (Mark and Helen) were swingers themselves. They found a niche in the market which could be filled by SH. I don't believe their original intent was a place to simply arrange meets. They were aiming for somewhere that people with the "swinging mentality" could get together, swap experiences, and help to grow the community. Over time other facilities were added, all designed to enhance the experience for the community.
By "swinging mentality" I'm making reference to an unwritten precept that the swinging lifestyle is about more than just non-marital sex. It's all about inclusion.
So what is the traditional defintion of a swinger?
Quote by Wikepedia
Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple." The phenomenon of swinging (or at least its wider discussion and practice) may be seen as part of the sexual revolution of recent decades, which occurred after the upsurge in sexual activity made possible by the prevalence of safer sex practices during the same period. Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term has been criticized as androcentric (taking a male-oriented point of view) and inaccurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part.
Obviously this is a very narrow defintion. If you look at the demographic of this site you can see widespread evidence of that. The majority of people using the site fall well outside of the normal stereotype. There are some straight couples, but there are gays/lesbians, bi-sexual males/females, singles of both genders and all sexual persuasions, Transvestites, Transexuals, Cross-dressers, watersports followers, etc, etc. You get the picture.
There are also people who do not/cannot participate in the physical side of things, but if they weren't here the site would almost certainly cease to exist in it's current format. The Non-swingers all bring their own unique things to the mix. They're not simply focused on getting sex so they bring a more diverse aspect to a lot of the discussions. Without the non-sexual content, this site would just be another sex site. And we all know there's a shortage of them on the web!
And let's face it, this site is now a commercial enterprise. Any attempt at ruling out the large non-swinging population would inevitably affect the bottom line and at best would limit future investment in the site or at worst result in it's demise.
OK... time for me to put my hand up. Cubette and I are both long term members of the site, but we don't swing. We used to, but we made a personal decision some years ago that meant we stepped out of the lifestyle while we concentrate on raising our family. That means we're only here for the social aspects but "once a swinger, always a swinger" so we can't cut the ties completely. We make no false claims about our swinging status: it's on our profiles for all to see, and that seems to be good enough for those people who bother to read profiles. We never get any PMs looking for meets so it must be working as expected!
Damn it! I'm sure I had a concise point to make somewhere in there, but now it escapes me! :doh:
Quote by Cubes
At the time of SH's inception I don't believe there were many (if any) other sites of it's kind around. People who were "swinging" had been using other media (contact mags, word of mouth etc) to discover like-minded people and arrange meets.
The original creators of the site (Mark and Helen) were swingers themselves. They found a niche in the market which could be filled by SH.
There were plenty of swinging websites around before SH. Dirty Davids and then Dean and Mattys were both large sites, albeit not as big as SH has become, but much larger than SH in its first year. There were many small sites that came and went. I was a user of many swinging sites since about 2000 and prior to that used the old bulletin boards to find information about swinging. I first became aware and started looking at SH in Spring 2003 when it was a tiny site and registered in Dec 2003 to attend the first NW munch.
Mark's skill probably lay in getting SH to the top of the list in all the search engines, which allowed SH to quickly grow to the size it is now, allied to his statement that SH would always be a totally free site. The definition of swinging that seems to be the accepted view on this site comes from the views of the originator of the site and his immediate circle of friends. Go to a club and ask the many people there that do not use the internet for their views on the SH definition for an alternative view.
Should people be here who don't actively play? Why shouldn't they be? There is no problem with using this site for whatever you want to use it for. As a social site it seems to very successful. My personal view is that, within the forums, and especially the cafe, the people who might feel more uncomfortable being here are those who are here for sex before friendship and the so-called 'hardened' swingers.
