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Can YOU write a post like sexymale21? I can....

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OK, small competition.... winner gets a fumble with sexymale21, probably down a lane, in his car...
Can YOU write a post like sexymale21?
Here's my effort, though I can't match the master..
I had beans on toast tonight, they were minging. What do ppl think?
If you aren't too sure of the style needed , look here>>
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/48677.html
and I said to the guy in the store "I ain't buying that". What do you lot think?
That's my effort, but it's a paltry one.
Ok....here goes
Saw this girl walk past me in the street. I noticed her looking at me, up & down, then she said "Wow! You're big for a young 'un." So I invited her back to mine and she's now lying on the bed startkers. She wants to go on top but I think it'll hurt her. What do u ppl think? SHould she go on top??? :doh:
Has he agreed to you taking the piss out of him on the forum??
There are numerous people here whose style of posting irritates me but this is not the way to deal with it.
Let he who is without sin .................................... confused :? :? :? :?