Sex God
bugger ...now I don't feel part of the gang
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Certification
Sex God
Quote by Dawn_Mids
bugger ...now I don't feel part of the gang
Don't you dare tell me you have changed your mind
Men, I have no idea why we even let them near the keyboard
Dawn :silly:
Yep!!! changed my mind.........well what did you expect from someone on a certified list...........logic and sense!!!
FFS!!!!......mutter....mutter ......FFS!!!!.....mutter.....
eerrrmm can you put me back on please Dawn
Quote by davej
Oi!!!!...less of the sod......old git yes......
eeermm moderators is Venus allowed to call me names without adding a nullifying wink or smile emoticon.....I'm hurt, a dagger to the heart I tell ya!!!!.....shan't post for another 5 minutes at least!!!!!
Absolutely, for I am the chosen one :smug:
Venusxxx
Anything for you davej 
warwick
Dawn_Mids
Sgt_Bilko
easy
MQ
zootle
Sexysteph
Bluexxx
Flirty Fruitcake
Vix
Debbiewebs
wildwilly
hornyred and dino
little gem
Fred
xxdevil69
VenusnMars
Scandal
marmalaid
Sarah1448
Deancannock
butters999999
Alan
Clare_Lincs
steve-shireen
lucyweebaps
kazswallows
Ice Pie
Reese
Angel Chat
DreamerHelen
Ian_Mids
shireen-steve
Calista
Morbius
mattmoleman
warwick
Lovecommando
WBB
davej
Fun365
Kenluvslucy
Dawn :shock:
warwick
Dawn_Mids
Sgt_Bilko
easy
MQ
zootle
Sexysteph
Bluexxx
Flirty Fruitcake
Vix
Debbiewebs
wildwilly
hornyred and dino
little gem
Fred
xxdevil69
VenusnMars
Scandal
marmalaid
Sarah1448
Deancannock
butters999999
Alan
Clare_Lincs
steve-shireen
lucyweebaps
kazswallows
Ice Pie
Reese
Angel Chat
DreamerHelen
Ian_Mids
shireen-steve
Calista
Morbius
mattmoleman
warwick
Lovecommando
WBB
davej
Fun365
Kenluvslucy
Dawn :shock:
Sex God
Quote by Kenluvslucy
Can we have his place?? Pleeeerrrrrlease??
get in me grave why don't ya.......
Sarge sneaks down the corridor of SH Towers. He pauses outside an office, switches his torch on and checks the name plate on the door. Dawn_Mids. Good, it's the right one. He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out his Acme Skeleton Key Set.
With a glance to each side he kneels down and thrusts his tool into the hole, gently rocking it backwards and forwards. :shock: :shock:
After a few minutes that seemed like hours, he gently places his hand over the knob, :shock: :shock: :shock: 
:wink: and with a flick of the wrist he opens the door.
Silently he moves towards the window. BANG!! CLATTER!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
He turns on his torch to see what had caused him to fall over.
FFS!! Who left that fecking vibrator on the floor?? Dawn you messy cow!! :x :x
With the torch still iluminating the room he moves over to the desk and and almost screams at the horrific image that greets him." No!!! I can' t look at it again. But I must !! It's ....... It's ........... Oh FFFS!! It's just a picture of Ian !!!"
:lol:
He opens a drawer and routes around inside making a mental note of the contents . A bottle of vodka . two more vibrators, an old copy of the Sunday Sport, some tampons, a cuddly toy, a fondue set, matching his and her towels - Didn't she do well!! :? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Aha!! At last he finds what he has been looking for ................................. The Certified List. In his best Dawn_Mids handwriting (not joined up!!) he begins to write.
K .............E .......................N .................L ..................U ......................V.........................S.......................L.................U......... C ...............................Y
There!! It's done. She'll never notice. Bilko the Master Forger strikes again. A work of art even if I do say s...................... Awwwww FFS!!!! Where did I pick this fecking red pen up from!!! She's written them all in blue!!! :x :x :x
With a glance to each side he kneels down and thrusts his tool into the hole, gently rocking it backwards and forwards. :shock: :shock:
After a few minutes that seemed like hours, he gently places his hand over the knob, :shock: :shock: :shock: :wink: and with a flick of the wrist he opens the door.Silently he moves towards the window. BANG!! CLATTER!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
He turns on his torch to see what had caused him to fall over.
FFS!! Who left that fecking vibrator on the floor?? Dawn you messy cow!!
:x :x With the torch still iluminating the room he moves over to the desk and and almost screams at the horrific image that greets him." No!!! I can' t look at it again. But I must !! It's ....... It's ........... Oh FFFS!! It's just a picture of Ian !!!"
:lol: He opens a drawer and routes around inside making a mental note of the contents . A bottle of vodka . two more vibrators, an old copy of the Sunday Sport, some tampons, a cuddly toy, a fondue set, matching his and her towels - Didn't she do well!! :? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Aha!! At last he finds what he has been looking for ................................. The Certified List. In his best Dawn_Mids handwriting (not joined up!!) he begins to write.
K .............E .......................N .................L ..................U ......................V.........................S.......................L.................U......... C ...............................Y
There!! It's done. She'll never notice. Bilko the Master Forger strikes again. A work of art even if I do say s...................... Awwwww FFS!!!! Where did I pick this fecking red pen up from!!! She's written them all in blue!!!
:x :x :x 
Sex God
:rotflmao: see your stealth training came in really handy then Sarge?!?!? Sex God
Where's bloody warwick when you need him.....
there's a huge thread full of strong debate and opinion, with some bollox thrown in about a verification system in the chatroom with all sorts of codes and complicated security thingies.......yet warwicks certification system can be broached by a bloke with a torch and a bic......
warwick your security stinks, the bloody administrater you put in charge of the list has gone AWOL.....there's vodka bottles , chocolate wrappers and dead vibrators strewn around your offices nerve centre....
..I've just been sent a P.M. demanding payment of 7 .....yes 7!!!...goldfish otherwise my certification is going to be withdrawn....
What sort of crap system are you running where I can be threatened like this.....who decided that Dawn could look after the list...she hasn't even got any pockets to keep it in!
This all stinks of abuse of power to me...the thin end of a wedgie...blackmail!!!!!....
ban me from your elite list if you like......go on...go on...flambe me ...I don't care, I'm standing on principal here :shock: ...so let me get off her and I will continue!!!!!
conspiricy theory....uppity ..uppity....gobledegook....
there's a huge thread full of strong debate and opinion, with some bollox thrown in about a verification system in the chatroom with all sorts of codes and complicated security thingies.......yet warwicks certification system can be broached by a bloke with a torch and a bic......
warwick your security stinks, the bloody administrater you put in charge of the list has gone AWOL.....there's vodka bottles , chocolate wrappers and dead vibrators strewn around your offices nerve centre....
..I've just been sent a P.M. demanding payment of 7 .....yes 7!!!...goldfish otherwise my certification is going to be withdrawn....
What sort of crap system are you running where I can be threatened like this.....who decided that Dawn could look after the list...she hasn't even got any pockets to keep it in!
This all stinks of abuse of power to me...the thin end of a wedgie...blackmail!!!!!....
ban me from your elite list if you like......go on...go on...flambe me ...I don't care, I'm standing on principal here :shock: ...so let me get off her and I will continue!!!!!
conspiricy theory....uppity ..uppity....gobledegook....
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Sarge sneaks down the corridor of SH Towers. He pauses outside an office, switches his torch on and checks the name plate on the door. Dawn_Mids. Good, it's the right one. He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out his Acme Skeleton Key Set.
With a glance to each side he kneels down and thrusts his tool into the hole, gently rocking it backwards and forwards. :shock: :shock:
Silently he moves towards the window. BANG!! CLATTER!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
He turns on his torch to see what had caused him to fall over.
FFS!! Who left that fecking vibrator on the floor?? Dawn you messy cow!!
I don't remember the last time I saw that vibrator :shock:..............oh hang on a minute, that was the night with the whipped cream, celery, 12 drummers drumming and a bag of bananas. Dunno why I got the vibrator out really
Quote by Sgt Bilko
With the torch still iluminating the room he moves over to the desk and and almost screams at the horrific image that greets him." No!!! I can' t look at it again. But I must !! It's ....... It's ........... Oh FFFS!! It's just a picture of Ian !!!
Thats no way to talk about Ian. Anyway, that was taken the day I got carried away and tried to put batteries in him :dunno: so its not his fault his hair is standing on end (what little there is) I was horny ok and made a mistake :x
Quote by Sgt Bilko
He opens a drawer and routes around inside making a mental note of the contents . A bottle of vodka . two more vibrators, an old copy of the Sunday Sport, some tampons, a cuddly toy, a fondue set, matching his and her towels - Didn't she do well!! :? :lol: :lol: :lol:
That right, I lost the forks for the fondue so have been using a couple of old vibrators to wedge me marshmallows on. I just wished they didn't smell of cheese :dunno: I'm not doing that in the fondue again
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Aha!! At last he finds what he has been looking for ................................. The Certified List. In his best Dawn_Mids handwriting (not joined up!!) he begins to write.
K .............E .......................N .................L ..................U ......................V.........................S.......................L.................U......... C ...............................Y
There!! It's done. She'll never notice. Bilko the Master Forger strikes again. A work of art even if I do say so...................... Awwwww FFS!!!! Where did I pick this fecking red pen up from!!! She's written them all in blue!!! :roll: :x :x :x
warwick
Dawn_Mids
Sgt_Bilko
easy
MQ
zootle
Sexysteph
Bluexxx
Flirty Fruitcake
Vix
Debbiewebs
wildwilly
hornyred and dino
little gem
Fred
xxdevil69
VenusnMars
Scandal
marmalaid
Sarah1448
Deancannock
butters999999
Alan
Clare_Lincs
steve-shireen
lucyweebaps
kazswallows
Ice Pie
Reese
Angel Chat
DreamerHelen
Ian_Mids
shireen-steve
Calista
Morbius
mattmoleman
warwick
Lovecommando
WBB
davej
Fun365
Kenluvslucy
Sarge you silly arse, that doesn't look like my hand writing let alone using red. Did you honestly expect me not to noticed that. I'm offended and disgusted that you've not asked warwick and alter me list :x :x
:smackbottom: *Crosses Sarge off her Christmas card list*
Quote by davej
Where's bloody warwick when you need him.....
there's a huge thread full of strong debate and opinion, with some bollox thrown in about a verification system in the chatroom with all sorts of codes and complicated security thingies.......yet warwicks certification system can be broached by a bloke with a torch and a bic......
Warwick is back where he should be, they always pick him up about 5, put him back in his white coat for the weekend. Then he will be returned to me on Monday morning all rested :lol:
Quote by davej
warwick your security stinks, the bloody administrater you put in charge of the list has gone AWOL.....there's vodka bottles , chocolate wrappers and dead vibrators strewn around your offices nerve centre....
If you had turned up for your shift instead of wandering around looking for posting boots then there wouldn't have been a security breach! Even when you do turn up half the time your dressed like a donkey. What the fLucks all that about :shock:
Quote by davej
..I've just been sent a P.M. demanding payment of 7 .....yes 7!!!...goldfish otherwise my certification is going to be withdrawn....
Shit, I think the fish ended up in the wrong place and are not in the jacuzi
Quote by davej
What sort of crap system are you running where I can be threatened like this.....who decided that Dawn could look after the list...she hasn't even got any pockets to keep it in!
I don't need a pocket. I have a perfectly good clevage I can keep it in :roll: I thought thats where the list was, but alas I was wrong. I've just looked and found my shopping list from 3 weeks ago
ops: a passport but buggered if I know who's it is :dunno: and a cucumber. What the fLuck is that doing in there???Where was I........
Quote by davej
This all stinks of abuse of power to me...the thin end of a wedgie...blackmail!!!!!....
ban me from your elite list if you like......go on...go on...flambe me ...I don't care, I'm standing on principal here :shock: ...so let me get off her and I will continue!!!!!
conspiricy theory....uppity ..uppity....gobledegook....
mmmmmmmmm flambéed davej now theres a thought for me Christmas pudding. Can you stop talking bollox and start eating dried fruit, candied peel, the odd old coin and wash it down with brandy. By Christmas day you should be well marinated :lol:
Dawn :silly:
Sex God
........davej wanders off to find a sixpence to swallow so that he can be Dawns Christmas pud, but passes on the brandy cos he spotted a box of matches on her shopping list.......
Sex God
Quote by Kenluvslucy
your probably a 'just sort of' until it's confirmed by Warwick, or Dawn changes your name to a blue font......I don't think Bilko can certify you on account that he's shot to pieces anyway......
in the meantime you can display one of these in your sig to denote that you have taken the exam and are just waiting for results
Sexlightened
I need certifying and I need it now.
Decided to go to cupids tonight for our 1st ever club visit.
Nuff said I think.
Decided to go to cupids tonight for our 1st ever club visit.
Nuff said I think.
Master of Sex
hi can we be vertify please as we have had fun with Heather and Kent Host thanks jane and paul
Sex God
can i be certififed as well please.......
i feel left out...... :D :D :D
sean xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
i feel left out......
:D :D :D sean xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sex God
I've tried riniging the certification hotline and I reckon the offices are closed until tomorrow, so if Blondie and Fabio would like to join the queue
we can collect our sig :shock: in the morning
we can collect our sig :shock: in the morning
Ok warwick, whatever you say
warwick
Dawn_Mids
Sgt_Bilko
easy
MQ
zootle
Sexysteph
Bluexxx
Flirty Fruitcake
Vix
Debbiewebs
wildwilly
hornyred and dino
little gem
Fred
xxdevil69
VenusnMars
Scandal
marmalaid
Sarah1448
Deancannock
butters999999
Alan
Clare_Lincs
steve-shireen
lucyweebaps
kazswallows
Ice Pie
Reese
Angel Chat
DreamerHelen
Ian_Mids
shireen-steve
Calista
Morbius
mattmoleman
warwick
Lovecommando
WBB
davej(removed and added so a difinate fruitloop)
Fun365
Kenluvslucy (accepted as certified by warwick)
tallnhairy
HornyBear
iain_nw
fabio grooverider
Dawn :shock:
warwick
Dawn_Mids
Sgt_Bilko
easy
MQ
zootle
Sexysteph
Bluexxx
Flirty Fruitcake
Vix
Debbiewebs
wildwilly
hornyred and dino
little gem
Fred
xxdevil69
VenusnMars
Scandal
marmalaid
Sarah1448
Deancannock
butters999999
Alan
Clare_Lincs
steve-shireen
lucyweebaps
kazswallows
Ice Pie
Reese
Angel Chat
DreamerHelen
Ian_Mids
shireen-steve
Calista
Morbius
mattmoleman
warwick
Lovecommando
WBB
davej(removed and added so a difinate fruitloop)
Fun365
Kenluvslucy (accepted as certified by warwick)
tallnhairy
HornyBear
iain_nw
fabio grooverider
Dawn :shock:
Sex God
Can I please be certified I am crazy and Clare, Steve, Mr RSAB, Mrs RSAB, Morbius and Calista can tell you I am coz I’m loud and always on about chicken
Please please
Molly xx
Please please
Molly xx
For a while there I forgot my position warwick, sorry
Certification continues
warwick
Dawn_Mids
Sgt_Bilko
easy
MQ
zootle
Sexysteph
Bluexxx
Flirty Fruitcake
Vix
Debbiewebs
wildwilly
hornyred and dino
little gem
Fred
xxdevil69
VenusnMars
Scandal
marmalaid
Sarah1448
Deancannock
butters999999
Alan
Clare_Lincs
steve-shireen
lucyweebaps
kazswallows
Ice Pie
Reese
Angel Chat
DreamerHelen
Ian_Mids
shireen-steve
Calista
Morbius
mattmoleman
warwick
Lovecommando
WBB
davej(removed and added so a difinate fruitloop)
Fun365
Kenluvslucy (accepted as certified by warwick)
tallnhairy
HornyBear
iain_nw
fabio grooverider
Mrs RSAB
Mr RSAB
Clare_Lincs
Steve_Lincs
Alexandra
warwick
I think I have everyone:
Dawn :silly:
Certification continues
warwick
Dawn_Mids
Sgt_Bilko
easy
MQ
zootle
Sexysteph
Bluexxx
Flirty Fruitcake
Vix
Debbiewebs
wildwilly
hornyred and dino
little gem
Fred
xxdevil69
VenusnMars
Scandal
marmalaid
Sarah1448
Deancannock
butters999999
Alan
Clare_Lincs
steve-shireen
lucyweebaps
kazswallows
Ice Pie
Reese
Angel Chat
DreamerHelen
Ian_Mids
shireen-steve
Calista
Morbius
mattmoleman
warwick
Lovecommando
WBB
davej(removed and added so a difinate fruitloop)
Fun365
Kenluvslucy (accepted as certified by warwick)
tallnhairy
HornyBear
iain_nw
fabio grooverider
Mrs RSAB
Mr RSAB
Clare_Lincs
Steve_Lincs
Alexandra
warwick
I think I have everyone
: Dawn :silly:
