Ahhhh, I see - thanks!
Would same-sex couples necessarily want to adopt a Catholic child though - isn't homosexuality 'wrong' in the eyes of the Catholic church? The religion of the child's birth parents would be immaterial after adoption - presumably the child would be raised with the beliefs of the adoptive parents?
Does the Catholic adoption agency only deal with Catholic-born children?
Apologies if this offends anyone; it isn't intended to, I am just asking.
I would imagine that many apprehensions about a child being adopted and raised by same sex parents stem from the anticipation of problems in the social groups (away from the home and out of the loving parents control) during the child’s school years… i.e. they can imagine a child being taunted and segregated by other children at some point.
As fellow classmates learn to understand the traditional family is constructed of mummy and daddy (even if mummy and daddy don’t live together anymore and daddy is now shacked up with the 24 year old who worked at the chip shop) there are bound to be questions as to why little Sally has two mummies/daddies.
Then children develop and become a little aware of sexuality and understand that mummy and daddy had…… sex :shock: . “How did your parents do that Sally?”
Before you know it the pulling of pigtails has progressed to holding hands and again the majority of children in the school yard will have been raised in a home environment where boys like girls and girls like boys (and Steven’s mummy seems to know a lot of ‘uncles’). Children can be creatures of such extremes. Either totally accepting without question or expressing their naivety, prejudice and ignorance (and the prejudices of their parents) in the most vocal of ways… “Sally’s parents are faggots!” “Don’t go round to Sally’s house, my dad says it’s not safe to be around queers!”
Of course there will come a point later when it is cool to have gay parents and all Sally’s mates wish they had gay parents as they hate their own (because they just don’t understand and constantly try to cramp their individuality and won’t buy them the new brand of trainers everyone else seems to have “it’s so unfair!”) – but that is the fickle nature of puberty and adolescence I guess.
Is it wrong for people to be apprehensive of the potential problems, bullying, torment, social exclusion a child raised by same sex parents may face during their school year – the most important part of their life in terms of discovering who they are and building the social skills to carry them thought life.
Is it wrong for people to be concerned about what a child may be subjected to by other children - especially when you think of how many stories you have read where victims of severe and persistent bullying have stated how it has affected them long into their adult life?
I don’t think it is wrong to be concerned about such things.
I feel it is pretty naive to ignore the fact that no matter what the parents do – at some point the child will come face to face with prejudice from peers and elders.
Concerns only exist until solutions are made clear!
To balance things though, it is worth remembering children can be born into a ‘traditional’ family unit and still go through all that same degrees of torment for being short/fat/tall/having a lisp/being ginger/being too hairy/having a big nose and any other reason you care to think of. The only difference is…. you don’t anticipate those problems when you see a baby with a proud mum and dad taking baby for a stroll in the pram on the park.
So in summary:
It doesn’t always mean people think same sex parenting is wrong because they have concerns as for what is best for a child – it can mean they are looking for reassurances and solutions to make it feel right.
This is a subject close to mine and my sons' life. He knows that I am now bi. But has been raised by me in two, long term same sex relationships. (I am now definately single)
I copied and pasted several posts from this forum and asked him to respond to what was written.
in his words. (he isn't, obviously, objective he is my son afterall) So you can do whatever you like with what he has written.
"Well, I have been bullied. But it wasn’t because my mum is gay (now bi) Other kids get bullied for all sorts of reasons. I am not damaged, I am a lucky kid cause I am the son of a lesbian/bi. It gives me a whole new perspective on life and doesn’t restrict me or my friendships. It stops me from being ignorant and homophobic like many of the adults I have met and seen on TV.
I wouldn’t choose any other upbringing or family and wouldn’t even wish to have it different."
splendid
Just read in the paper today that the Indian Gov, is relaxing the rules on Westerners adopting Indian orphans, ie will be a quicker process.
However, while the Indian Gov will allow single people to apply to adopt, they will not allow same sex couples.
John & Shel