Well I finally did it! Two and a half years after joining the swinging scene I plucked up the courage and went on my first club visit to Chameleons!
:scared:
Shitting bricks doesn't quite cover it but having heard the conversation between my friend and her partner in crime saying "she'll bottle it" I was even more determined not to! All that reverse psychology malarky worked a treat!
So I did some research... which mainly consisted of picking the brains of my veteran clubbing mates as to what I'd expect and in actual fact it wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it was gonna be! My first major concern was what do I wear?! I'm thinking that the whole towel thing just isn't very attractive so I pondered a lot and decided that underwear was the way forward. So I packed a selection (obviously!) :lol: and we had a bit of a girly trying on thing on Thursday night to get a second opinion as to what was hot and what was not! Right... outfit decided, now I just need to get myself there and actually make it through the door rather than opting to sit in the car on my own (although I did take my book with me just in case!)
Anyway... we got there and went in and I filled in the forms and got my membership card and a locker key. I was kinda glad I'd taken a little dolly bag for my ciggies and condoms (yes... well you never know!) cause the whole swimming band type locker key sported on ankles with condoms stuffed in it wasn't really a big turn on for me as we wandered through the club to have a look around. The staff were really nice and I suspect had a giggle later at the rabbit caugh in headlights look when I first walked in! :lol: The first thing that struck me was that it was busier than I'd been expecting. When I'd asked my other friend if she'd been on a Friday afternoon she didn't think it would be very busy so it was a bit of a surprise to find a fairly even mix of single blokes and couples and funnily enough there didn't appear to be any single women other than me!
*shits more bricks - thankfully not literally* :scared:
We went into the couples changing room to get out of street clothes and into something a little more slinky. I like that they have a separate changing area for the couples and single girls, that made me feel safe somehow. It wasn't at all how I was expecting it to be. People tell you about it but still it's hard to imagine a changing room to be anything other than like something you'd find at the local gym (not that I've been there for a while right enough!) but it was nice and although there's no actual door, there is a glass brick wall that shields the main corridor and the single blokes just aren't allowed in there so I felt like I had somewhere to retreat to should I need a breather. So after we got changed my friend took me for a tour and we peeked in all the rooms. As we wandered into the room with the big round bed in the middle I could finally put a name to a face so to speak. I'd heard about it but now it's easy to see how that one works. :rascal: I'm so not that brave and unsure if I ever would be! Some bloke had followed us in and my friend told him very firmly that we were just looking round! :lol: That told him! We went back down to the bar area and had a drink... I was driving so didn't even have the opportunity for some dutch courage although I'm not sure I'd like to be in a club having consumed alcohol. I like having my wits about me. Another random single bloke sort of appeared at that point. It's almost like a cartoon, one moment you're alone and the next there's someone else within your space, staring unnervingly. So we stayed there for a while, chatting and watching men walk past with condoms strapped to their ankles. I'm not sure what it is about that but it just made me want to laugh! There was a really, really cute guy :rascal: at the bar and I decided that should the opporchancity arise then I soooooo would! :twisted: Alas not to be, the next time I saw him a little later he was sitting with two other blokes and bolshy as I might be in some situations, there was no danger I was gonna just waltz over there and give him my best chat up line... which incidentally I don't have! :roll:
I didn't really want to cramp the style of my friend and her partner in crime and I felt a little bit like I shouldn't need a babysitter. I'm an adult (most of the time!) and I really wanted to just be able to let them get on with it and spend some time doing my own thing. However, I think they knew I just wasn't quite ready for that so when they suggested we try the jacuzzi I'm sure my relief was visible! So back to the changing room and fished out the very large towel I'd blagged from reception when we came in and off to the jacuzzi we went. I liked that. There was an older couple and a single bloke already in there when we went in and then low and behold the single bloke from the bar (not the really, really cute one sadly!) came in after us. I'm not really sure how to explain it but I felt very, very uncomfortable not making eye contact with anyone other than the people I was with. It's not normal for me not to talk to people, I'm one of these people who's chattering to random strangers on the bus or in the supermaket. I don't like feeling unable to strike up a conversation with someone who almost looks like he's ready to pounce as soon as I even looked in his direction.
That's not natural to me at all and I didn't like it. I want to be able to have a general conversation with someone without them immediately assuming I'm fair game! We stayed in the jacuzzi for a while, till our fingers went wrinkley I guess and then went back out to the little smoking area upstairs. There are a lot of stairs. Stairs and heels aren't really ideal when they're as narrow as they were. Anyway, I digress! :lol: There were a variety of people out there each time we went out for a ciggie. Everyone was really friendly and nice and they didn't make me feel like I was a total newbie which was good. So at that point I decided I'd go back and put some clothes on and let my friend and her partner go have some alone time without me tagging along. Positive thinking... I can do this, I'll be fine. Perhaps I'll wander back down to the bar and have a drink, see if the cutie was still there. :rascal: So off I went back to the changing room and got back into my underwear and the slinky top I'd brought and thought I'd brave it out for a ciggie again on my own this time. :mrgreen:
So there I am sitting outside on my own, thinking I'm okay, I can handle it, I'm doing okay! :mrgreen: A bloke from a couple I'd seen down in the bar earlier wandered in to the conservatory area and sat down on the sofa. Then the single bloke who had been in the jacuzzi with the couple came in too (not the one who followed and stared). By this time I'd finished my ciggie and decided that I'd go back in and down to the bar. Hmmmm... single bloke had other ideas. Immediately I was back inside he came over, stood too close and sort of invaded my space. Again I'm thinking, okay, I can handle this, I'll be alright, clearly he's interested but it just felt a little bit, erm, desperate? So he asked if I was single, to which, in hindsight, I should have replied with a resounding "no" but I didn't. I said I was single and before I knew it he was kissing me. Then he stopped, proceeded to remove the mint that was in his mouth, place it on the carpet and started kissing me again! :? I'm not sure what I was more stunned at to be truthful. So I pushed him off as his hand stopped between my legs and he asked if I'd like to go into the little room beside us and started to drag me in there by the wrist before waiting for an answer. :? I was fairly firm in pulling away at this point as he attempted to stick his hand down my knickers. :roll: Then told me that it was such a waste that I was there and he was there and what a waste of time if I wasn't playing. I just replied saying that I was playing, I just wasn't playing with him.
I legged it back round to the changing room where at least I felt like I was a little bit safe. I sat there for a while, chatting to another couple who were getting changed. They made me feel much better and said that it must be quite daunting for a single girl coming to a club alone. I dare say if I'd come completely alone (which to be fair I'd never have done in a million years and probably still wouldn't) then I could be proud of myself and to a certain extent I was after getting myself out of that situation without causing an uproar! I hasten to add, if that had been the cutie from the bar earlier I suspect I wouldn't have complained at being accosted in the corridor and I would have been dragging him into a little side room!! :rascal: Double standards perhaps but for me there has to be an attraction and I'm not just going to have sex with someone purely because they happen to be in the same place at the same time. :roll: I just feel there's a way of going about things and for me that's not it. I like a bit of chat, strike up a conversation rather than stick your hand in my knickers!! :lol:
It made me a little uncomfortable as I left the changing room to find him sitting outside almost waiting on me to reappear. Again he intimated that he was interested and asked if I wanted to find a room. I just said that I was going to find my friends which is exactly what I did! :wink: :twisted:
Overall, I had a really good time. I was glad I'd gone and didn't bottle it and I'm really glad I went with a couple of friends rather than in a big group. I got a good idea of how the clubbing scene worked, perved over other people having sex through the very handy little windows to rooms that were dotted around (although I'd like them better if the glass was one way!), had some interesting conversations with people both at the smoking area and in the bar and the changing room. The club was clean and I liked that I felt comfortable by the time I left, even with my random encounter. :lol: If you wanna go then you should, I'll definitely go back!
However, having said all that, I don't want this to be a slating for single blokes because that's exactly who I'm looking for and I'm sure what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another but I would be interested to hear what works for you when you go to a club.
Having had a conversation with one of my friends who is a regular clubber and when I told her about my experience she said that that's exactly how she likes it and that conversation would spoil it for her. She doesn't want a chat, she doesn't want to know anything, she just wants to fuck and in that situation I can totally understand that and I was prepared for it to be different to the way I usually go about things but although I wasn't expecting a life history, I did sort of expect a hello before I found myself with a stranger's hand in my knickers! :lol: Had I been in a room either already playing or obviously looking to play then I would have expected for someone to do that but just not randomly in the corridor, never mind the whole mint issue! :? :lol:
So... if you're still awake, my questions are...
1. What was your first club experience like?
2. What's your method of approach?
3. How do you like to be approached?
And those questions are for everyone because I feel I missed my chance with the cute single bloke in the bar because I didn't approach him and I don't think it should necessarily be them who do all the running! :wink:
That I dislike intensely. A polite "do you mind if we join you?" seems to work!
Think I just do whatever feels right at the time really.
