So we decided – while on a few days’ holiday in Germany and miraculously for once without the kid – to check out a German swingers club. The things you do in the name of research! *laughs*
Anyhow, it was an interesting experience so we thought we’d share some of our research findings with you.
Stage one in the project was, naturally, research, so off we went searching for club listings in Germany, and registered with some German swingers sites in the process.
The first thing that struck us just how many swingers clubs there are in Germany. Most medium-sized towns seem to have at least one, many of them several. Where we can here get to three, maybe four clubs within one hour’s drive, in Germany there’d be 20 or 30. Indeed we were told that Munich alone has over 15 clubs, and northern towns apparently tend to have even more!
The other thing that was remarkable – though perhaps not so surprising, given the usual stereotypes – was just how direct and to the point the Germans are. Take this as an example: within an hour of registering with one site, we had two requests to chat, both from couples (though in each case the male talking, I reckon…)
Conversation 1:
- Hi, I hear you’re looking to come to our area on holiday?
- Yes
- Well we’ll be in the area on xxxx, would you be interested in meeting up?
- Umm, err, yes nice to hear from you…. Ummm…. Bit more info about you?
- Sure, here’s our mobile number – call us when you get there and we’ll arrange where to meet.
Conversation 2:
- Hi there, lovely profile
- Thanks
- Ok, are you devot? (a term we eventually worked out means sub)
- No, sub/dom isn’t really our thing
- No problem, how about bondage?
Sheessh!
However, there were some nice and tasty people on those sites, and not all approaches were quite as full on as that, so eventually we’d gotten chatting to this very nice couple just on the edge of the area we were looking to visit, and they recommended a rather nice-looking club too which we could meet up in. So at the very least we wouldn’t be Billy-no-Mates and at best we might find someone to have fun with. It took a little bit of re-arranging plans and schedules but the club and the couple seemed to be worth it.
Of course, as so often, the couple in question eventually cancelled two days before we were supposed to meet them (no babysitter), while we were already in Germany and it was much too late to organize anything else. Nothing ever changes though it sure was annoying!!
Anyhow, we decided we wouldn’t let such a slight disappointment stand in the way of valuable research so we went ahead and visited the club as planned.
Our observations, in random order
· There may be lots of swingers clubs in Germany but it’s just as hit and miss how busy they are as it is in the UK. The club we went to had an alright crowd but could’ve easily accommodated two or three times the number.
· German men seem to have a penchant for tight pants – even spotted the odd G-string
· Only a few clubs will feature a Jacuzzi while practically every one we looked at had a sauna. Oh, and a dungeon! (Germans and bondage, eh?)
· German clubs really believe in feeding their guests well – most places we looked at served a sumptuous buffet that would not have been out of place at a hotel banquet
· Clubs tend to be flat-fee – entrance is a bit more pricey but once you’re in, all food and drink is free. We especially loved having access to limitless coffee and tea, wish UK clubs did something similar!
· The people were very easy-going and approachable; even without our pre-arranged meet we got chatted up and chatting to lots of people – something we haven’t necessarily found in the UK
· Contrary to stereotype, the women we saw did all take shaving very seriously
· Not so the men – facially anyway. German men do like their moustaches!
· No one seemed to be keen on speaking English; luckily Cream is originally from Germany so could translate
· There is no general smoking ban in German clubs! Having gotten used to the UK smoking ban, being back in a smoky atmosphere was quite weird… and not in the best of ways.
All in all we had a fun night and would definitely recommend other people take in the more adventurous side of life on their holidays to Germany. A slight annoyance to us was that the couple who’d cancelled on us because they allegedly couldn’t get away from the family turned up after all, only to totally ignore us…. *rolls eyes* So I guess the infamous German forthrightness and honesty doesn’t hold true on all accounts. Their loss..!
So much for our research results. Would love to hear from anyone else who's made similar - or differing! - experiences in Germany, or any other countries you'd care to think about...
Warming the Bed
