Right, I have a serious question for you guys, especially the couples out there. When playing as a couple or with a couple how do you ensure that everyone involved is equally keen on the other people?
When Charlotte and I have swung as a couple we have always found it difficult to find people who we both go for, or who are interested in both of us. We have found ourselves in situations where Charlotte has clicked with another couple but I haven’t or they haven’t with me, or situations where I have liked the female half of a couple but Charlotte is not really into the male and also we have found ourselves in the situation where a single straight female is interested in me but obviously not in Charlotte.
I would like to know what other people do to avoid a situation where people are meeting you as a couple even though they really only want one half. A situation I particularly dislike is if other people (be that a couple, single guy or single fem) fancy Charlotte that they have to pretend to want to play with me as well.
Our solution to this is that we don’t play together all the time, so if someone fancies one of us they don’t have to pretend about the other one. It also means that if one of us fancies someone we are free to pursue that attraction. What do the rest of you do when it becomes obvious that the level of attraction is not equal amongst all players?
This is not exactly a request for advice as we are quite happy with our arrangement, (It also works well for us for other reasons) it is more that I am curious how couples who only play together deal with this situation.
Thanks.
Roger the Dragon.
Roger - I am not a couple (obviously) but I do only "play" with couples - and I have to say that for me - it is essentail that I am attracted to both. I wouldn't want to be in a situation where I was only attracted to the female!! That just wouldn't feel right for me.
We only play if we are both attracted. If either one of us isn't comfortable then we just don't play.
We don't feel let down by this if we decide not to play. It is always a pleaure meeting possible fun partners and always have a laugh.
G & D x
Because we only play together, we both have to be attracted to the woman/couple etc... I think if we met with someone and it was blatantly obvious they were only 'putting up' with one of us so they could play with the other, then we wouldn't go any further.
It's gotta be mutual for us.
It has to be right for everyone and it's horrible if one person is left out. Sometimes you both just click with others though and that seems like such a bonus if the 3 (or 4) of you all seem to be mutually interested.
To explain a bit further, I think the big problem for me is that it is not always obvious right from the start if everyone is going to enjoy a situation, some people like to give it a go and see whether they enjoy it.
The particular situation that provoked my thoughts more than any was this:-
We had played with a couple at a club, had a lot of fun and they had said how much they wanted to meet up again and how much they liked Charlotte in particular. We'd had a good time so invited them to come over to ours one evening to play some more, they came over and we all had a really good time. However when Charlotte was chatting to them later they said that it was really only her that they were interested in and didn't really want to meet us as a couple again.
Now this wasn't a problem between Charlotte and I as she would happily not play with someone else if i was not happy with it. The problem was that I was gutted at having played all evening with people who if they had been honest would have preferred me not to be there. At the time this really bothered me as I hate the idea of someone putting up with my attentions because they feel they should.
I hope this explains my thoughts a bit more.
Roger.
bugger hadn't thought of that one. Any offers 
: :twisted:
and fulfilled our fantasy(not through SH)
:wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: 
:roll: 
