COMPETITION - Contenders for the MOST incoherent emails...

Sexlightened

0 likes 16 Feb 2012

Hi all,
I think I would win this competition - here are some of my recent favourites:
1. "cunt us in babe we buk a room for us to we wunt let u down xxx" - and no it was not - it was in the afternoon.
2. "You look well nice in your photo. I would like to know more but best see if you do tool. x" - QUE - Do I do tool? That is a fetish I have not encountered...
S0 - any contenders???
:twisted: banghead

Big_Fraser

Orgasminator

0 likes 16 Feb 2012

soreee four da e-mayles vixen downt now what i wus finkin redface

I don't get many incoherant messages, come to think of it I don't get that many coherent ones either at the moment. Spring is coming, time to come out of my winter hibernation and get a bit more active :rascal:

ambervixen

Sexlightened

0 likes 16 Feb 2012

I can always send you an incoherent one if you like?
A spring - time to wax the winter fuzz - off my linen trousers obviously.... xx

pebble

Casanova

0 likes 16 Feb 2012

Quote by ambervixen
1. "cunt us in babe we buk a room for us to we wunt let u down xxx" - and no it was not - it was in the afternoon.

Looks like we have both been contacted by the same person? (as in my "death is possible" quote on the spelling&grammar thread).
Re. no.2 - a great chuckle! Until I realised what had happened there - then your correspondent's exotic prerequisite became a mere typo, that spoilt it for me, boo.

neilinleeds

Sex God

0 likes 16 Feb 2012

Quote by pebble
Re. no.2 - a great chuckle! Until I realised what had happened there - then your correspondent's exotic prerequisite became a mere typo, that spoilt it for me, boo.

Beautiful Freudian slip there. There he was clearly trying to be all polite and non-pushy but his devious tricksy brain was obviously somewhere else altogether and just couldn't help but reveal what was really on the bloke in questions mind. Love it!

pebble

Casanova

0 likes 22 Jul 2012

Two messages I got a few weeks ago, they were sent from the same person a day apart:
Subject:you look intresting
Hi can we get to gather very close
Subject:nice and close
Hi I'm inand would like to me for some fun if you like dont went was time you look so interesting IV just joined and have not meat anyone yet first time at this can you help I must build a profile
Now I honestly had to sit on my hands to stop myself from replying to this, I can't resist replying to people asking for advice, in what seems to be an honest message - but any friend I asked about it told me to steer clear dunno

I dedicate this post to those that believe replying to all messages is plain courtesy, and manners cost nothing.

tmann

Sex God

0 likes 22 Jul 2012

Quote by pebble
Two messages I got a few weeks ago, they were sent from the same person a day apart:
Subject: you look intresting
Hi can we get to gather very close
Subject: nice and close
Hi I'm in and would like to me for some fun if you like dont went was time you look so interesting IV just joined and have not meat anyone yet first time at this can you help I must build a profile
Now I honestly had to sit on my hands to stop myself from replying to this, I can't resist replying to people asking for advice, in what seems to be an honest message - but any friend I asked about it told me to steer clear
I dedicate this post to those that believe replying to all messages is plain courtesy, and manners cost nothing.

That sounds like it has been put though Babelfish

Unknown User

0 likes 22 Jul 2012

Quote by
That sounds like it has been put though Babelfish

Well actually I went from English, through Japenese, Swahili, and Klingon! But I wasn't expecting to be quoted in the open forum! :sad:
:giggle: bolt

Unknown User

0 likes 22 Jul 2012

A few years ago on one of SH's sibling sites I got a message which went something like ;
" Hi Piddy, gr8 tits in your profile pics, wud luv to rub dem ":huh:

GregSH

Warming the Bed

0 likes 23 Jul 2012

In another thread we talk about poor spelling; in the quotes here we see why poor spelling, or more accurately good spelling, is important.
Sorry to have broken in, back to the competition.

Unknown User

0 likes 26 Jul 2012

My personal favourite recently was from a couple who contacted me. Not incoherent as such, but perhaps a little confused as to the nature of the site... When I pointed out that I'm quite a way away from them geographically they replied with:
"but when you travel to London maybe you stay in hotel. I will explain, we are young professionals who are renting house with our friends, that is why we do not invite. We hope it is not paid service."
I didn't respond... I don't quite know how to take it when someone asks if I'm a hooker... lol

Unknown User

0 likes 31 Jul 2012

omg! ive had to read this thread just to see if someone has posted one of ours!!!!... we must be the gold medalists of incoherant messages!!! sorry if you have been a recipient!!! xxxxx wasnt me it was the vodka!

M1ssVery

Master of Sex

0 likes 2 Aug 2012

I got this today:
"girl get a girlfriend and i wana come round yours"
is he actually asking me to get a girlfriend before he's willing to come round mine?.. dunno

Unknown User

0 likes 2 Aug 2012

Quote by M1ssVery
I got this today:
"girl get a girlfriend and i wana come round yours"
is he actually asking me to get a girlfriend before he's willing to come round mine?..

Get yer coat.... you've pulled!
:giggle:

Unknown User

0 likes 2 Aug 2012

Quote by M1ssVery
I got this today:
"girl get a girlfriend and i wana come round yours"
is he actually asking me to get a girlfriend before he's willing to come round mine?..

Quick V mail him back I'm on my way to yours now!!!! hump

M1ssVery

Master of Sex

0 likes 2 Aug 2012

Quote by PamelaD
I got this today:
"girl get a girlfriend and i wana come round yours"
is he actually asking me to get a girlfriend before he's willing to come round mine?..

Quick V mail him back I'm on my way to yours now!!!! hump

actually..now that i think about it.. Miss D..:rascal:

meat2pleaseu

Sex God

0 likes 4 Aug 2012

You lot should be happy to get incoherent messages, i've just had one elsewhere that just reads
"i'd like to get " :eeek:
what happened to "hi, you look nice, fancy some fun?" dunno

block, delete and bolt

tweeky

Sex God

0 likes 4 Aug 2012

Quote by meat2pleaseu
You lot should be happy to get incoherent messages, i've just had one elsewhere that just reads
"i'd like to get " :eeek:
what happened to "hi, you look nice, fancy some fun?"
block, delete and

Minus the use of a small i at the start thats not actually that bad! And anyway! I was drunk ffs how many times do I have to say sorry :twisted:

M1ssVery

Master of Sex

0 likes 5 Aug 2012

Had to share this one..
-----
IF I AM WINK YOU REALLY I AM INTERESTING WITH YOU PLEASE CALL PR TEXT ME
+ I AM LIVING AT TURKEY
----

Unknown User

0 likes 5 Aug 2012

Subject : hello
Topic : Irish cunt
Reported the offender, but sadly it/he/she left the site. Thankfully. lol

Ironically, I was born in the UK and hold joint nationality!

M1ssVery

Master of Sex

0 likes 14 Aug 2012

Not really an incoherent email, but still worth a giggle..
A couple got in touch and they had this in their profile:
"My Bf and I have decided to give in to temptation and taken the leap to join, interested in eating couples and singles to broaden our horizons."
:eeek:
I don't know if I should meet them for my thighs are quite meaty! :lickface: