That I wont be round for my tea as im working late, creating the biggest bestist sausage Ive ever made.
Now if you do that for me not only will get the biggest and bestist sausage in the west but you will also get.....
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Complete the Story
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manage to cook it properly without embarrassing yourself and wasting my hard
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of such a huge piece of meat and wondered how her lips...
:? Sex God
he whipped out the brown sauce to use as lube and lathered...
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..himself into a soapy delerium in the bath at times, but that was then, and this is now, so brown saucy sausage in hand he teased it towards her quivvering lips but as they were about to touch, she shrieked...
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and wondered whether he would get away with wiping himself on the curtains...
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"Just as well the butcher can count or we'd have been overcharged!" 
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The Story So far…
She took the Blue Basque from the shelf and held it up.
"What the fuck is this doing here?" she asked her fellow librarian.
Blushing, Cordelia returned the "Blue Basque" to the Foreign Travel: Spain section. She was going to Italy and where Cordelia was going Blue Basque's would not be needed, but she would doubtless enjoy the local ice cream and she was hoping to get half an hour to herself so she could pop out into the alleyway for a good licking at lunchtime.
Cordelia was wet, she had forgotten to call a gondola, but a man was pulling her from the water. Cordelia stepped into the waiting taxi but before she could tell the driver she wanted to go to the airport, another Gondola floated past and the rugged handsome Italian inside it, grabbed Cordelia's Cornetto's and dragged her into his floating palace.
“Oh my!” she said “Thats a really big pole you have!” as he waved it in her face. “You could have someone eye out with that!”
She lay back as he proceeded to count to twelve before he removed his pole from his trousers then he introduced him to Cordelia.
"This is Zbignew from Gdansk" said Mario the Gondoleer. "He's the man from Gdansk who lives in my pants"
"Oh Shit" thought Cordelia. "I've got in a boat with Doctor Seuss..."
Mario handed the punt to Zbignew and held Cordelia close.
"There's just one thing I want to say to a beautiful belladonna like you... You should run now, while you can because I can't count and…”
But… Too late! The gondolier found out Cordilia was Colin from Hereford who had his cows tied up outside waiting to go to the Vatican. En route they decided on a little detour to the local butchers to see if he wanted to purchase some cows. But they then decided to buy a pound of “Priddy handmade sausages”. The butcher stared at Colin with a strange look in his eye. It was then Colin realised he was still wearing the Blue Basque he had found in the local library.
Colin felt embarrassed. Suddenly he said he was off to a “Tarts ‘n Vicars” party, then he proceeded to ask the butcher if he looked the part and then asked if he would like to accompany him to the event. The butcher was taken by surprise but looked over at Cordelia with a twinkle in her eye.
"Yes! Yesssssssssss! I will accompany you both! But first let me get my cleaver from being tightly wedged inside this chicken.”
Colin / Cordelia groaned, she'd not seen a weapon that size since watching the porno “Weapons of Ass Destruction”, just the though brought a lump to her throat. Holding his cleaver, the butcher smiled and said;
“Gender change on the NHS is expensive and I’m soooooooooo cheap!”
Meanwhile, in a land far, far away, a 43 year old brunette was sitting at her computer, trying to conjure a distant memory of when she'd last had a shag, and musing on whether it would be uncouth to introduce herself into a piece of online erotica...
Meanwhile, back at the butcher's Colin commented that “not many people can count to twelve can they?”
"Sod maths!" leered Roger the butcher, turning the door sign to "Closed"
Colin licked his lips and asked the butcher for his biggest sausage. The Butcher winked and said;
“If you want a real sausage then you should take this note to my sister and tell her that I wont be round for my tea as I’m working late, creating the biggest bestest sausage I’ve ever made! Now if you do that for me not only will get the biggest and bestest sausage in the west but you will also get a casserole dish and a recipe book so you can manage to cook it properly without embarrassing yourself and wasting my hard work.”
Cordelia licked her lips in anticipation of such a huge piece of meat and wondered how her lips would get round such a huge sausage. Colin had an idea. He whipped out the brown sauce to use as lube and lathered it on Cordelia's moist lips as he did when lathering himself into a soapy delerium in the bath at times, but that was then, and this is now, so brown saucy sausage in hand he teased it towards her quivvering lips but as they were about to touch, she shrieked;
“Thank heavens its not red sauce!!!!”
Meanwhile Colin was getting rather excited and wondered whether he would get away with wiping himself on the curtains. Sniggering
They left the Butchers shop excited about the party they’ve yet to face. The three leave the butchers shop with cattle in tow.
As they walk past a blackened out window of a shop front, One turned to the other and said;
"Just as well the butcher can count or we'd have been overcharged!"
To Be Continued…
She took the Blue Basque from the shelf and held it up.
"What the fuck is this doing here?" she asked her fellow librarian.
Blushing, Cordelia returned the "Blue Basque" to the Foreign Travel: Spain section. She was going to Italy and where Cordelia was going Blue Basque's would not be needed, but she would doubtless enjoy the local ice cream and she was hoping to get half an hour to herself so she could pop out into the alleyway for a good licking at lunchtime.
Cordelia was wet, she had forgotten to call a gondola, but a man was pulling her from the water. Cordelia stepped into the waiting taxi but before she could tell the driver she wanted to go to the airport, another Gondola floated past and the rugged handsome Italian inside it, grabbed Cordelia's Cornetto's and dragged her into his floating palace.
“Oh my!” she said “Thats a really big pole you have!” as he waved it in her face. “You could have someone eye out with that!”
She lay back as he proceeded to count to twelve before he removed his pole from his trousers then he introduced him to Cordelia.
"This is Zbignew from Gdansk" said Mario the Gondoleer. "He's the man from Gdansk who lives in my pants"
"Oh Shit" thought Cordelia. "I've got in a boat with Doctor Seuss..."
Mario handed the punt to Zbignew and held Cordelia close.
"There's just one thing I want to say to a beautiful belladonna like you... You should run now, while you can because I can't count and…”
But… Too late! The gondolier found out Cordilia was Colin from Hereford who had his cows tied up outside waiting to go to the Vatican. En route they decided on a little detour to the local butchers to see if he wanted to purchase some cows. But they then decided to buy a pound of “Priddy handmade sausages”. The butcher stared at Colin with a strange look in his eye. It was then Colin realised he was still wearing the Blue Basque he had found in the local library.
Colin felt embarrassed. Suddenly he said he was off to a “Tarts ‘n Vicars” party, then he proceeded to ask the butcher if he looked the part and then asked if he would like to accompany him to the event. The butcher was taken by surprise but looked over at Cordelia with a twinkle in her eye.
"Yes! Yesssssssssss! I will accompany you both! But first let me get my cleaver from being tightly wedged inside this chicken.”
Colin / Cordelia groaned, she'd not seen a weapon that size since watching the porno “Weapons of Ass Destruction”, just the though brought a lump to her throat. Holding his cleaver, the butcher smiled and said;
“Gender change on the NHS is expensive and I’m soooooooooo cheap!”
Meanwhile, in a land far, far away, a 43 year old brunette was sitting at her computer, trying to conjure a distant memory of when she'd last had a shag, and musing on whether it would be uncouth to introduce herself into a piece of online erotica...
Meanwhile, back at the butcher's Colin commented that “not many people can count to twelve can they?”
"Sod maths!" leered Roger the butcher, turning the door sign to "Closed"
Colin licked his lips and asked the butcher for his biggest sausage. The Butcher winked and said;
“If you want a real sausage then you should take this note to my sister and tell her that I wont be round for my tea as I’m working late, creating the biggest bestest sausage I’ve ever made! Now if you do that for me not only will get the biggest and bestest sausage in the west but you will also get a casserole dish and a recipe book so you can manage to cook it properly without embarrassing yourself and wasting my hard work.”
Cordelia licked her lips in anticipation of such a huge piece of meat and wondered how her lips would get round such a huge sausage. Colin had an idea. He whipped out the brown sauce to use as lube and lathered it on Cordelia's moist lips as he did when lathering himself into a soapy delerium in the bath at times, but that was then, and this is now, so brown saucy sausage in hand he teased it towards her quivvering lips but as they were about to touch, she shrieked;
“Thank heavens its not red sauce!!!!”
Meanwhile Colin was getting rather excited and wondered whether he would get away with wiping himself on the curtains. Sniggering
They left the Butchers shop excited about the party they’ve yet to face. The three leave the butchers shop with cattle in tow.
As they walk past a blackened out window of a shop front, One turned to the other and said;
"Just as well the butcher can count or we'd have been overcharged!"
To Be Continued…
Sex God
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: You have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on your hands! :giggle:
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that bridle, we could get you a ponytail butt plug to match! :rascal:
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"Nayyyyyyyy!" said a voice from behind the counter. It was Amos Brearley from Emmerdale Farm, the pork chopped bald headed ex Woolpack owner who always looked like his head had been placed on upside down... "Would thee like a bridle?" He queried. "If you like that, you will love this..." he said pulling out a ...
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should we get batteries too for this?
goodness me declaired colin don't you think we should...........
goodness me declaired colin don't you think we should...........
Sex God
...check it isn't a live one first?
Amos' whiskers bristled "There be no fakes in my shop!" He intoned sharply. "I'll have you know that rabbit has been..."
Amos' whiskers bristled "There be no fakes in my shop!" He intoned sharply. "I'll have you know that rabbit has been..."
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used by the best magicians in the world why they could ............
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Quote by TheLovelyOne
even teach people to count to twelve. They are also know for
ROFLLMAO!
