Compliance Issues

20 Dec 2006

In another thread in the Chatroom lounge

Quote by dawnie
Chatroom Lounge
General discussion for all things related to the swingers chatroom. Use The Cafe for general chit-chat, this forum is specifically for the video chat room.
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General discussion and chit-chat.

I trust this is the right place to post this..
I am sure we all like to be compliant and maintain good order in the Forum.
Can someone please explain to us mere mortals just where humour can be used in the Forum to "lighten up" an otherwise difficult issue without detracting from the original thread?
Has some-one written a set of rules for this because, just now, it seems to be very diffucult to second guess what a Moderator will consider to be acceptable.

20 Dec 2006

Quote by GnV
In another thread in the Chatroom lounge

Chatroom Lounge
General discussion for all things related to the swingers chatroom. Use The Cafe for general chit-chat, this forum is specifically for the video chat room.
The Cafe
General discussion and chit-chat.

I trust this is the right place to post this..
I am sure we all like to be compliant and maintain good order in the Forum.
Can someone please explain to us mere mortals just where humour can be used in the Forum to "lighten up" an otherwise difficult issue without detracting from the original thread?
Has some-one written a set of rules for this because, just now, it seems to be very diffucult to second guess what a Moderator will consider to be acceptable.
it depends wether you really have a hidden agenda when detracting from the original thread!
do you have an agenda?
are there people on here you don't see eye to eye....so at any chance have a dig at them....them use the humour card as an excuse?

20 Dec 2006

Nope there's no set rules, not even some written guidlines and for the most part they are not needed. I've managed a few thousand posts and aint even got close to needing to second guess the acceptance of any one of them by moderators or members.
My view when it comes to some serious topics, is that the thread and the threads direction will determine if its open for the intejection of humour or not. Some threads can take it, some threads desperately need it and some threads are a complete no no.

20 Dec 2006

Quote by Mr-Powers
In another thread in the Chatroom lounge

Chatroom Lounge
General discussion for all things related to the swingers chatroom. Use The Cafe for general chit-chat, this forum is specifically for the video chat room.
The Cafe
General discussion and chit-chat.

I trust this is the right place to post this..
I am sure we all like to be compliant and maintain good order in the Forum.
Can someone please explain to us mere mortals just where humour can be used in the Forum to "lighten up" an otherwise difficult issue without detracting from the original thread?
Has some-one written a set of rules for this because, just now, it seems to be very diffucult to second guess what a Moderator will consider to be acceptable.
it depends wether you really have a hidden agenda when detracting from the original thread!
do you have an agenda?
are there people on here you don't see eye to eye....so at any chance have a dig at them....them use the humour card as an excuse?
Of course, there are always some people you don't get on with..

20 Dec 2006

Quote by davej
Nope there's no set rules, not even some written guidlines and for the most part they are not needed. I've managed a few thousand posts and aint even got close to needing to second guess the acceptance of any one of them by moderators or members.
My view when it comes to some serious topics, is that the thread and the threads direction will determine if its open for the intejection of humour or not. Some threads can take it, some threads desperately need it and some threads are a complete no no.

Thanks davej.. thats seems very reasonable.

20 Dec 2006

Quote by GnV
In another thread in the Chatroom lounge

Chatroom Lounge
General discussion for all things related to the swingers chatroom. Use The Cafe for general chit-chat, this forum is specifically for the video chat room.
The Cafe
General discussion and chit-chat.

I trust this is the right place to post this..
I am sure we all like to be compliant and maintain good order in the Forum.
Can someone please explain to us mere mortals just where humour can be used in the Forum to "lighten up" an otherwise difficult issue without detracting from the original thread?
Has some-one written a set of rules for this because, just now, it seems to be very diffucult to second guess what a Moderator will consider to be acceptable.
it depends wether you really have a hidden agenda when detracting from the original thread!
do you have an agenda?
are there people on here you don't see eye to eye....so at any chance have a dig at them....them use the humour card as an excuse?
You might think that Mr_Powers, I couldn't possibly comment.
why could you not possibly comment....if you have nothing to worry about?
GnV i quoted you before you edited your post......

20 Dec 2006

the quote came from House of Cards Mr-Powers

20 Dec 2006

Quote by GnV
In another thread in the Chatroom lounge

Chatroom Lounge
General discussion for all things related to the swingers chatroom. Use The Cafe for general chit-chat, this forum is specifically for the video chat room.
The Cafe
General discussion and chit-chat.

Partial quotes are always a dangerous thing. – Especially when you choose to leave out the one sentence that ties everything up neatly.

Quote by GnV
I trust this is the right place to post this..

Never worry if your post is in the wrong place. – The forum moderators will move threads to the appropriate place if the author gets it wrong. – The newbie bashers might have a dig, but I doubt the moderators will. rolleyes

Quote by GnV
Can someone please explain to us mere mortals just where humour can be used in the Forum to "lighten up" an otherwise difficult issue without detracting from the original thread?

The problem with humour is that there is usually a “victim” of the joke. The blond, the Irishman, the English cricket team, etc. So where as YOU may personally think what you write is funny, the “victim” of your hilarity may actually be deeply offended at your words.
The “joke” that you refer to, in the chatroom forum, looks to me as if you are suggesting that a vendetta exists against one specific member and it is this vendetta that is preventing him from entering the chatroom (s) of his choice.

Quote by GnV
Has some-one written a set of rules for this because, just now, it seems to be very diffucult to second guess what a Moderator will consider to be acceptable.

I don’t see this as a problem. – If you take time to read your post before you click on send, all you have to do is ask yourself “could I offend somebody with my comments”? If the answer is yes. Don’t post it. And to give you a really big hint (and something I use myself). If you are trying to be humourous at the expense of a person you do not know VERY well, then there is a fair chance your joke will be misguided and could cause offence.
Enjoy !
Ian

20 Dec 2006

Quote by davej
My view when it comes to some serious topics, is that the thread and the threads direction will determine if its open for the intejection of humour or not. Some threads can take it, some threads desperately need it and some threads are a complete no no.

Which is pretty much what I thought I was suggesting when I continued to post

Quote by Dawnie
Perhaps we should stick to the topic on this thread to allow admin to get to the bottom of the problem :thumbup:

GnV, please quote all of my comment if you wish to talk about something I have said. We don't want to give the wrong impression or imply I was trying to spoil the fun now do we :thumbup:

20 Dec 2006

Dawnie spoilling fun, no never heard of that lol

qrt

20 Dec 2006

Ah right, it seems this thread has steemed from a different thread that I havn't read so if I've repeated something you said earlier in another place Dawn I can only say I wasn't aware of it.

21 Dec 2006

Quote by Ian
The “joke” that you refer to, in the chatroom forum, looks to me as if you are suggesting that a vendetta exists against one specific member and it is this vendetta that is preventing him from entering the chatroom (s) of his choice.

Surely not! If the whole thread is read in context, it is quite clearly a humourous adjunct to a serious issue. I would not have thought that any other person would see it any other way. However, I do appreciate now that others seem to have in mind that there are ulterior motives on my part. I can assure you there are none.

Quote by Ian
I don’t see this as a problem. – If you take time to read your post before you click on send, all you have to do is ask yourself “could I offend somebody with my comments”? If the answer is yes. Don’t post it. And to give you a really big hint (and something I use myself). If you are trying to be humourous at the expense of a person you do not know VERY well, then there is a fair chance your joke will be misguided and could cause offence.

Point taken Ian, thank you.

Quote by Ian
Enjoy !

I do

21 Dec 2006

Quote by davej
Ah right, it seems this thread has steemed from a different thread that I havn't read so if I've repeated something you said earlier in another place Dawn I can only say I wasn't aware of it.

Your reply was very helpful davej. Clear, concise and to the point. It was refreshing to have a response which sought not to belittle the questioner.

21 Dec 2006

Quote by GnV
Ah right, it seems this thread has steemed from a different thread that I havn't read so if I've repeated something you said earlier in another place Dawn I can only say I wasn't aware of it.

Your reply was very helpful davej. Clear, concise and to the point. It was refreshing to have a response which sought not to belittle the questioner.
and just to take it on that bit further now that I am aware of whats gone before.
There are occasionally threads where anything other than the subject matter and the interactions around that and the tone of reply, are completely out of the question and for the most part most users can pick up on it, but these threads are, in my mind, very few and far between. The great majority are open to hi-jack or humour, but even then, at a point in the thread thats right, generally when its done or petered out. Sometimes its acceptable to take it off into a different arena almost immediately because of its type, however all of these things are subject to the right timings and the right type of post, the argument that a third element, the right poster name isnt one I want to get into in a deep way, but can play a part.
The difficulties that sometimes arise are that some humour isnt easily recognised because either the poster hasn't taken into account his / her audiance, the audiance are not aware of the posters style and therefore their probable intent, or as mentioned above, the humour has been inserted into one of those rare no no threads.
There is the third element which I mentioned, the posters name. I will use myself as an example. I can throw things into posts and threads that other folk might not get away with so readily, now this isnt because of the moderators badge, it's because most folk are comfortable with my style of posting, thats not to say they like it, but they don't feel its a threat and can safely engage with me knowing that the worst they are gonna get is some fairly sharp piss taking.
I don't know if any of the above is even relevant to the underlying reason for your thread and in a way it would be a shame to bring that back up, but there's fuck all on the telly, it might get some more comment and if I move away from this screen someone is going to ask me to wrap something in glittery paper or do some other job around the house for which I am ill prepared on account of my aversion to doing anything that hasnt got a pound sign hanging on the end of it.

21 Dec 2006

Quote by davej
Ah right, it seems this thread has steemed from a different thread that I havn't read so if I've repeated something you said earlier in another place Dawn I can only say I wasn't aware of it.

Your reply was very helpful davej. Clear, concise and to the point. It was refreshing to have a response which sought not to belittle the questioner.
and just to take it on that bit further now that I am aware of whats gone before.
There are occasionally threads where anything other than the subject matter and the interactions around that and the tone of reply, are completely out of the question and for the most part most users can pick up on it, but these threads are, in my mind, very few and far between. The great majority are open to hi-jack or humour, but even then, at a point in the thread thats right, generally when its done or petered out. Sometimes its acceptable to take it off into a different arena almost immediately because of its type, however all of these things are subject to the right timings and the right type of post, the argument that a third element, the right poster name isnt one I want to get into in a deep way, but can play a part.
The difficulties that sometimes arise are that some humour isnt easily recognised because either the poster hasn't taken into account his / her audiance, the audiance are not aware of the posters style and therefore their probable intent, or as mentioned above, the humour has been inserted into one of those rare no no threads.
There is the third element which I mentioned, the posters name. I will use myself as an example. I can throw things into posts and threads that other folk might not get away with so readily, now this isnt because of the moderators badge, it's because most folk are comfortable with my style of posting, thats not to say they like it, but they don't feel its a threat and can safely engage with me knowing that the worst they are gonna get is some fairly sharp piss taking.
I don't know if any of the above is even relevant to the underlying reason for your thread and in a way it would be a shame to bring that back up, but there's fuck all on the telly, it might get some more comment and if I move away from this screen someone is going to ask me to wrap something in glittery paper or do some other job around the house for which I am ill prepared on account of my aversion to doing anything that hasnt got a pound sign hanging on the end of it.
I think you have it!
I get by better in the chatrooms where I am more well known and my humour is better understood - even by those who do not know me that well. The Forum seems to require a different level of social interaction and it's cliqueiness is very evident.
Would that be about right?

21 Dec 2006

Quote by GnV
[
I think you have it!
I get by better in the chatrooms where I am more well known and my humour is better understood - even by those who do not know me that well. The Forum seems to require a different level of social interaction and it's cliqueiness is very evident.
Would that be about right?

It's difficult for me to answer with regard to the differences of interaction between chat rooms and forums because I don't use the chat rooms at all, but I would guess there will be differences, so its probably safe to say that if your humour goes down well there then stick with that.
As for the clique observation, then yes it's my view that it exists, but that there are more than one of them, a sort of circles within circles, within circles, kinda thing, they are something that are desperately needed at times by members who have a need to belong to summint and acceptance is sought and once given is clung onto. I don't think I've ever sought the sanctuary of a clique, but can see in various posts why some do. The clique is a place to belong for some folk and a place to be despised by others, either way they exist and have a place and you won't get me knocking them just because they have no use to me.
I am getting a little twinge that I am being manipulated a touch here, so please understand that the moderators badge has fuck all to do with my responses.

21 Dec 2006

You should get that twinge seen to davej lol

21 Dec 2006

Quote by GnV
The Forum seems to require a different level of social interaction and it's cliqueiness is very evident.
Would that be about right?

Yes the is a level of cliqueiness in the forums but no more so thatn in the chatrooms.....
A lot of people wouldnt talk to me in either arena untill they knew who I was.... rolleyes

So much for a warm welcome.....
In my time here as Steve_Mids I was never part of a clique either but thats probably a high level of hate was associated with the name :undecided:
I can say for certain however that your particular sense of humour and the fact that it isnt understood here as well as in the chatrooms has nothing to do with this thread being started.
It stems from comments made in another thread and we both know what was happening there dont we wink

I wasnt going to say anything at all in this thread but I felt I could add something to it without being accused of being inflamatory or derogatory...
I doubt I will say anything else in this thread but may well keep one beedy eye on it..

21 Dec 2006

I'm sorry there was such a high level of hate at the name Steve_Mids, but I was never party to that. I'm sure you are a thoroughy nice guy and well meaning, if, like me, sometimes misunderstood.
I think I always welcomed you into any room I was running and acted similarly in any other room I was visiting where you were present.
If you feel that was not the case, please pm me and I'll apolgise personally.

Quote by mallock2006
I wasnt going to say anything at all in this thread but I felt I could add something to it without being accused of being inflamatory or derogatory...

As if I would! smile

21 Dec 2006

I love a thread about complience issues or posting policies. I read them avidly weighing arguement against arguement. I cheer as one side drives a point home and gasp with astonishment as a seemingly brilliant piece of logic is confounded.
I love'm. I never understand them but love is blind like that biggrin

21 Dec 2006

Quote by keeno
I love a thread about complience issues or posting policies. I read them avidly weighing arguement against arguement. I cheer as one side drives a point home and gasp with astonishment as a seemingly brilliant piece of logic is confounded.
I love'm. I never understand them but love is blind like that

A man after my own heart, obviously!!

21 Dec 2006

GnV, we have never spoke in the chat rooms and I dont think we have even spoke in the Forums, but after reading your posts of late, all of them seem to be negative about how the forums operate, how the people interact and complaints about how the site as a whole is run. Now I am asking a genuine question and this is not a dig at you or anyone else, but if you dislike the forums as much as you appear to do, why do you keep coming back?
As I said, Im not having a go at you, but I am genuinely trying to understand.

22 Dec 2006

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
GnV, we have never spoke in the chat rooms and I dont think we have even spoke in the Forums, but after reading your posts of late, all of them seem to be negative about how the forums operate, how the people interact and complaints about how the site as a whole is run. Now I am asking a genuine question and this is not a dig at you or anyone else, but if you dislike the forums as much as you appear to do, why do you keep coming back?
As I said, Im not having a go at you, but I am genuinely trying to understand.

You are so wrong NWC. You couldn't have read all my posts of late. Even those that you have read, it would be quite wrong to say that I have complained at all about the way the site is run, quite the opposite in fact.
I have made mention about cliques - as indeed others have in the past - and that has fired off a healthy debate.
I started a thread on compliance which others have found quite interesting and quite helpful, including myself. I never realised how much to heart some people take the emoticons. It seems the rolling eyes one can be regarded as quite offensive; I just like the wry little smile at the end. Fascinating stuff.
Where is the negativity in that?
I don't dislike the Forums.
My percerption is that the negativity is coming in my direction, not from it and I'd like to know why and how to control it.
The Forums are a challenging media. I'm used to handling challenging face to face conversations and I'd really like to master the art of "Forum speak".
That's why I keep coming back.

22 Dec 2006

Behaviour breeds behaviour!
cool

22 Dec 2006

This is such a difficult medium to communicate in. I believe only 20% of communication is with the words we use. So by only writing we lose 80% of the message.
An Example.
A member recently changed their avatar from something smiley to something grumpy looking. I found myself reading everything they wrote with a negative slant. The picture looked grumpy and they sounded grumpy in my head.
We all need to cut each other a lot of slack here. Unless you are a very skilled writer this is a very difficult way to communicate the subtlities of language.

22 Dec 2006

Quote by keeno
This is such a difficult medium to communicate in. I believe only 20% of communication is with the words we use. So by only writing we lose 80% of the message.
An Example.
A member recently changed their avatar from something smiley to something grumpy looking. I found myself reading everything they wrote with a negative slant. The picture looked grumpy and they sounded grumpy in my head.
We all need to cut each other a lot of slack here. Unless you are a very skilled writer this is a very difficult way to communicate the subtlities of language.

Or a very skilled reader perhaps...

22 Dec 2006

Quote by Jags
Behaviour breeds behaviour!

Should I change my Avatar perhaps then Jags.. Computer bashing is obviously giving people the wrong impression as Keeno suggests.

22 Dec 2006

maybe it is just me but i don't believe there is the "cliqueiness" factor... because where you would use the word "clique" i would say there is a sense of familularity....
is that any more evident in the forums than in the chatrooms.... with the rooms i have been into the answer would be no...... for example, i go into the "north-west" room i say hello... i get a million hellos back, because they know me, whereas if i go into the "yorkshire" room, i say hello.... no one bats an eyelid (and for the best some people may say smile

)
I move up from the south to newcastle 6 yrs ago, and went into my then local for the first time... have you ever imagined walking into a bar and the music suddenly stopping and they are all watching you, well that is how it felt!!! :) :) over time they got to know me and i got to know them.... heck i have even held munches in there function room now!!! but it was a slow process
just with most things in life... you only get one chance to make a great first impression, and it is how you seize that chance that makes a world of difference, which is why when i see a 1st post "moan" it does make me shudder.... (okay that was a little off-topic but coming back to it) if i had gone into that pub 6yrs ago and complained it was cliquey 1st time i walked in, i doubt i would have made the same impression......
the only difference between the chatroom and the forum in that respect is that i have time to think about what i am writing.....the chatroom if you are quick and on the ball is great... but sometimes you can't have anywhere near the depth on conversation you could on the forums.... if i had taken anywhere near the amount of time in the chatroom with this same answer, you all would be miles ahead of me, or onto perving over the next set of tits that were on cam!!!!
biggrin

:D
sean xxxxxxx

22 Dec 2006

Great post Fabio! :thumbup:
I do have a quick fire ability in the chatroom and my humour is less misunderstood.
Maybe that's it!

22 Dec 2006

I find that saying there is a different to the way people talk in the chatrooms or post in the forum is a little 'odd'.
I am who I am, why would I answer any different or be taken any different if I am in the chatrooms or the forums dunno

I don't understand why people would perceive me as any different :dunno:
My humour doesn't change because the person behind it doesn't confused