confidence

12 May 2006

what worked for me was to get my self a mrs..ninja....she has given me soo much..including the confidence that she seems to now be lacking........i dont think there is a secret...depends alot on your own self image......and while people can influence it (strongly in some cases)...i think health, of mind and body helps enorimously

Quote by H-x
Having read many of the threads about 'what people find attractive', the over-riding factor seems to be self confidence.
The trouble is a lack of self confidence is a catch 22 situation, you don't have it, people can tell and give you a wide berth, thus futher deflating your confidence.
Is there a solution to this circle? I realise we're not born with it but acquire it and also lose it, for whatever reason.
I suppose what I'm asking, in my usual round about way, is there a secret to gaining self confidence? if so, please share it!
H.x

12 May 2006

if we are talking confidents then surely that should effect all areas of your life?
where as i can strip off have sex with people that i click with but don't know that well but i am not shy or dont lack confidence but when it comes down to comunication i get the jelly mouth effect in larger groups & boy does it piss me off.
If i'm honest i have been looked down on by my peers due to my bluntness with in my work invorment( other wise i say it as it is & don't disapline people in a jokey way) well spelling is another area i lack confidence but i'm one of these people that hit themself on the head as i know what to say but the mouth keeps turning to spagetti. confused

few drinks & i can talk the hind legs off a donkey

12 May 2006

Quote by Saffy
if we are talking confidents then surely that should effect all areas of your life?

i don't think it does though? there's all different kinds? we learn to be confident in certain areas, because we know how to do certain things, and we trust in our own ability?
example . . . i once said i was shy to someone, and she said, more or less, "you? shy? how many times have i seen you naked?" the thing is i know i can take me clothes off dead easy, cos i've been doing it since i was about 2 or so?
ask me to stand up in a room and deliver a speech though, i'm gonna bloody die!
trivial examples, but i think confidence is something that's learned. which leads back to the munch thing. i've kind of learned how they work, so i'm a lot happier in my ability? and another irony . . . mike mentioned small groups with a dozen people or so? i would find that tough, cos i have less opportunity to just sit back and be a wallflower, cos there's less places to bail out to? big groups are easier for me in that respect?
neil x x x ;)

12 May 2006

Quote by neilinleeds
ask me to stand up in a room and deliver a speech though, i'm gonna bloody die!

:lol2: I am the complete opposite... I have taught students how to speak in public and have also written a paper on it...
I dont have the answers to why people are more confident in their comfort zone and not in other area's dunno

For me personally it's a case of you take me as I am or leave me... I am always truthful and always speak my mind... But then I am comfortable with who I am....

12 May 2006

I have my good days and my bad ones......I just seem to be having a fair few bad ones at the moment.... sad

But, I'll get there wink

13 May 2006

Damn, I was hoping to be given a magic formular, to get told the 'secret'. Oh well, thanks for your thought folks.
H.x

13 May 2006

self confidence in my case is the ability to not care what other's think or say about me I am happy within myself. Actually I am having a ball biggrin

13 May 2006

Quote by markz
self confidence in my case is the ability to not care what other's think or say about me I am happy within myself. Actually I am having a ball

big :thumbup: Beds-boy