My hubby and I were talking about relationships and what keeps them going so long, we have been together for 28 years. I for one until venturing into this lifestyle have never strayed. My hubby has had a one off fling in the past.
We feel after trying this lifestyle has enhanced our relationship, the feelings we have for each other by sharing this haven’t changed.
The reason we decided to play was for me to be able to have the chance of experiencing other men.
Is this so wrong?
So I for one don’t need to stray, I have a loving husband and have never felt the need to. Also now I can have my cake and eat it so to speak.
We feel most people would have had fantasies about people outside of their relationship, but would be too scared to mention it without the other party feeling that they are no longer enough and feel threatened.
We feel we have all been programmed to believe if you have sex outside of marriage it is the ultimate sin.
But is it?
Could Monogamy be the one of the key factors why relationships break down?
definately...
i just dont think we are genetically pre-programmed to have just one long term partner
To answer yes to this would be a broad generalisation.
I was monogamous with my ex. Our relationship broke down. Not because we wanted other partners, we just stop liking each other.
There are so many reason for relationship to collapse it would be wrong to pick one thing.
Personally I think swinging can save or break a relationship. It can give either side a chance to explore together or alone other people but with the knowledge it's acceptable.
But, unfortunately I'm sure that in swinging two people might meet and click and.......
In the main, yes it probably saves a lot of relationships.
I take my hat off to people who only have one sexual partner for 15 odd years. Genetically, both men and women are made to spread their genes. This means reproducing with different people to ensure producing strong offspring. Unfortunately, in our society, we are made to feel guilty for wanting to do this! Again..I think it's special if people are happy with one partner for years...but it it is a hard thing for many to achieve!!
Yes, but I think monotony is a bigger culprit. :thumbup:
When Morbius and I got together we very quickly agreed that, as we were coming out of long term relationships we wanted to fool around a bit before settling again, but we also wanted to be with each other!! Case of wanting your cake and eating it LOL
We agreed to be open and honest about it and do as we desired, which lead neatly into the swinging. We have played as singles and as a couple and we're upfront about our encounters.
We've been together almost 13 years and married almost 10. We really think that our decision to have an open relationship made us as strong as we are. Had we both have committed immediately we would possibly not be in this situation due to both our urges to be free sexually.
Swinging gives us the freedom to explore our desire without putting the other partner under pressure to conform, it adds variety to our lives, it also forced us to be open, entirely honest and to communicate with each other. We don't need to sneak around like other married people looking for kicks! We can encourage each other openly, explore different aspects of our sexuality, enhance our love lives and so I think all this adds to our marriage!
I doubt either of us could live in a monogamous relationship .. it seems so restrictive and suffocating in some respects.
I think it is a factor for many people, although certainly it would not erradicate divorce if it was abolished. My marriage like keeno decayed due to not being the people we thought we were when we first got together. We just didn't like each other.