Couples v singles re: swinging?

6 Apr 2007

I have been thinking a bit lol

Yes my head does hurt lol (thats for the cheeky ones on here)
I've been thinking about how couples approach swinging in their minds as opposed to singles.
Is there a difference I wonder?
Do couples feel more confident cause they come with someone they know well and are comfortable with and so feel more relaxed and less pressurised at munches/socials than singles who have to come alone.
Also is the need to find some fun less important for couples since they have each other to fall back on at the end of the evening. Than for singles who may go back to an empty hotel room.
DD

6 Apr 2007

Probably is easier for couples. Speaking to some single men at Munches, they often say that just to speak to couples in clubs is a big step, as just polite convo can be seen by couples as being "hit upon". Couples can naturally speak to other couples without that feeling.
John & Shel

6 Apr 2007

As a single female, I sometimes find it difficult - in fact, you can feel quite vulnerable in some situtions.
There's no one to watch your back, look after you, help you make decisions, deal with numpties etc.
I have actually considered seeking a partner just as an escort but I know I'll be inundated with arseholes wanting a shag. confused

6 Apr 2007

Quote by devondelight
I've been thinking about how couples approach swinging in their minds as opposed to singles.
Is there a difference I wonder?
Do couples feel more confident cause they come with someone they know well and are comfortable with and so feel more relaxed and less pressurised at munches/socials than singles who have to come alone.
Also is the need to find some fun less important for couples since they have each other to fall back on at the end of the evening. Than for singles who may go back to an empty hotel room.

I don't feel any more confident with Mr FB there, than I do when he's not there. There shouldn't be any more pressure at a munch or social anyway - it's supposed to be a relaxed, no-pressure atmosphere. I think lots of people get a bit nervous about going to a munch (me included) but that could be just the anticipation of meeting new folks.
I'm sure some people might object to the thought that they are someone to 'fall back on' too, just because they are part of a couple.

6 Apr 2007

Quote by Freckledbird
I'm sure some people might object to the thought that they are someone to 'fall back on' too, just because they are part of a couple.

I understand what you're saying FB, but I don't think that was what DD meant. If I read it correctly, it was just an observation that couples may feel more confident because they are not alone, not just that they have someone to fall back on.
I might be wrong. It has been known! lol

6 Apr 2007

Well it made me laugh anyway lol

"No joy with the totty tonight sad

I guess I'll have to make do with shagging you dear rolleyes

"
:grin:

6 Apr 2007

Quote by devondelight
... Do couples feel more confident cause they come with someone they know well and are comfortable with and so feel more relaxed and less pressurised at munches/socials than singles who have to come alone.
Also is the need to find some fun less important for couples since they have each other to fall back on at the end of the evening. Than for singles who may go back to an empty hotel room.
DD

I would say though... you do make it sound as if you think swinging only happens after socials and munches confused

For me personally, that's pretty much the last place it happens. I go to a social with the intent of attending 'a social' - not to attempt to gain a shag for the night and treat the setting like a cattle market.

6 Apr 2007

I would have found it impossible to attend a munch or social on my own - even with the promise of hand-holders, as a single fem who doesnt socialise irl I would just not have had the courage.
I do have a lovely munch-buddy now who I met on the forums kiss

and that makes it so much easier.

6 Apr 2007

Quote by PoloLady

... Do couples feel more confident cause they come with someone they know well and are comfortable with and so feel more relaxed and less pressurised at munches/socials than singles who have to come alone.
Also is the need to find some fun less important for couples since they have each other to fall back on at the end of the evening. Than for singles who may go back to an empty hotel room.
DD

I would say though... you do make it sound as if you think swinging only happens after socials and munches confused

For me personally, that's pretty much the last place it happens. I go to a social with the intent of attending 'a social' - not to attempt to gain a shag for the night and treat the setting like a cattle market.
Could be quite confusing as there are obviously numbers of different reasons why folks are at a munch. There are definately people single and couples who use munchs as hunting grounds for that evening or the future, pass the harpoon please. We always go to munchs now with a open attitude of just see what happens on the night. I wouldent attend munchs I dont think if I was a single male not cus I would be that uncomfortable only cus I feel I could use my time to the same ends better else where.
Cheers

6 Apr 2007

Quote by tweeky

... Do couples feel more confident cause they come with someone they know well and are comfortable with and so feel more relaxed and less pressurised at munches/socials than singles who have to come alone.
Also is the need to find some fun less important for couples since they have each other to fall back on at the end of the evening. Than for singles who may go back to an empty hotel room.
DD

I would say though... you do make it sound as if you think swinging only happens after socials and munches confused

For me personally, that's pretty much the last place it happens. I go to a social with the intent of attending 'a social' - not to attempt to gain a shag for the night and treat the setting like a cattle market.
Could be quite confusing as there are obviously numbers of different reasons why folks are at a munch. There are definately people single and couples who use munchs as hunting grounds for that evening or the future, pass the harpoon please. We always go to munchs now with a open attitude of just see what happens on the night. I wouldent attend munchs I dont think if I was a single male not cus I would be that uncomfortable only cus I feel I could use my time to the same ends better else where.
Cheers
Why do you say that from a single male perspective?
I have been to a couple now and think there are very usefull to get to know people and more importantly them know me, regardless if I play that night.

6 Apr 2007

i started going to socials and munchs as a single, obviously was nervous at first being new but that soom faded, then i went as part of a couple and i must admit for me this was harder work as i had someone elses feelings to consider and to make sure he was ok all night and not being left out etc
now back as a single its a bit weird, like starting again, it feels like some people backed off from me when i was part of a couple who are now back in touch, but there is always someone there to speak to, i have no qualms whatsoever going on my own
i dont think i felt more or less confident in either situation and i dont feel the need to find someone to take back to my hotel room either, am more than happy after a damn good night out socially to go back and sleep on my own, its not all about sex and play, i go to socials and munchs to see friends and to meet new people so i dont have the need for a 'fall back' or and escort or a shag for that matter although its always nice, if the opportunit arises, it does, if it doesnt no bother, good night had anyway
Earthy xx

6 Apr 2007

Quote by Ukwineman

... Do couples feel more confident cause they come with someone they know well and are comfortable with and so feel more relaxed and less pressurised at munches/socials than singles who have to come alone.
Also is the need to find some fun less important for couples since they have each other to fall back on at the end of the evening. Than for singles who may go back to an empty hotel room.
DD

I would say though... you do make it sound as if you think swinging only happens after socials and munches confused

For me personally, that's pretty much the last place it happens. I go to a social with the intent of attending 'a social' - not to attempt to gain a shag for the night and treat the setting like a cattle market.
Could be quite confusing as there are obviously numbers of different reasons why folks are at a munch. There are definately people single and couples who use munchs as hunting grounds for that evening or the future, pass the harpoon please. We always go to munchs now with a open attitude of just see what happens on the night. I wouldent attend munchs I dont think if I was a single male not cus I would be that uncomfortable only cus I feel I could use my time to the same ends better else where.
Cheers
Why do you say that from a single male perspective?
I have been to a couple now and think there are very usefull to get to know people and more importantly them know me, regardless if I play that night.
Shireen and I both go to munches and socials alone when we cannot get a babysitter and we both go with the sole intention of having a good old laugh and meeting friends old and new..
We never have any expectations of a munch/social as thats not our prime reason for going....
In fact I reckon the more you look for something the less likely you are to find it dunno

6 Apr 2007

Quote by Ukwineman

... Do couples feel more confident cause they come with someone they know well and are comfortable with and so feel more relaxed and less pressurised at munches/socials than singles who have to come alone.
Also is the need to find some fun less important for couples since they have each other to fall back on at the end of the evening. Than for singles who may go back to an empty hotel room.
DD

I would say though... you do make it sound as if you think swinging only happens after socials and munches confused

For me personally, that's pretty much the last place it happens. I go to a social with the intent of attending 'a social' - not to attempt to gain a shag for the night and treat the setting like a cattle market.
Could be quite confusing as there are obviously numbers of different reasons why folks are at a munch. There are definately people single and couples who use munchs as hunting grounds for that evening or the future, pass the harpoon please. We always go to munchs now with a open attitude of just see what happens on the night. I wouldent attend munchs I dont think if I was a single male not cus I would be that uncomfortable only cus I feel I could use my time to the same ends better else where.
Cheers
Why do you say that from a single male perspective?
I have been to a couple now and think there are very usefull to get to know people and more importantly them know me, regardless if I play that night.
I probably wouldent be so interested in the swinging scene as a new single I would probably do other stuff. If I was single now its different I already know people so would probably stay around and attend events still.

6 Apr 2007

Quote by Freckledbird
I'm sure some people might object to the thought that they are someone to 'fall back on' too, just because they are part of a couple.

Oh my apologise as I obviously didn't realise when I said this .. that I was liable to be construed as implying that spouse was regarded as the one left to shag if no-one else turned up :shock: . I think what I meant was that couples may feel more confident if going looking for people to swing with at a munch/social, as I know some do, simply because they would have each other as primary sexual partners so they would not feel the need or be disappointed if they didn't find anyone else to play with. That their relationship was primary and any 'extras' was a bonus, where as single people who have no one to have sex with on a regular basis may feel more pressure to play as it would be their only opportunity to find someone on the nightto play with.
Not withstanding the times people arrange private meetings outside of the Munches and meetings. Of course that is open then to everyone regardless of status.
Just trying to open up a debate here and see what people feel .. I have to start somewhere and if you don't agree or see it that way .. fine just say so don't take my initial statement as my stand or set in concrete how I see things. Just feeling my way here as to be quite honest I don't think I really understand swinging that much as I haven't done much so just trying to get my head round it abit more. Especially as a single female.
DD (apologise also to FB for the terrible grammar) redface

:giggle:

6 Apr 2007

DD no need to apologise, I obviously misinterpreted what you meant smile

I think this would sum up how Mr FB and I feel:

Quote by Mallock2006
...we both go with the sole intention of having a good old laugh and meeting friends old and new..
We never have any expectations of a munch/social as thats not our prime reason for going....
In fact I reckon the more you look for something the less likely you are to find it

And if people went with the notion that they were going to get a shag, there would be an awful lot of disappointed people around. The munch, as we know it, would die.

6 Apr 2007

Wow... Couples v Singles or Us Against them?
All I can add to this is my way of thinking...
I never go to a social or a Munch with the intension of getting me leg over!
Yes I do find it hard striking up convos with cpls just for the reason I don't want them to think I'm hitting on them.
God knows what they're thinking coz I've had cpls say the very same thing to me in reverse. :shock:
Yes I still get very nervous but the only way round it is to get yourself known & the more people that know you & know 'what your about' then the easier it will get.
i.e. peeps wont feel wary & accept the fact your not gonna jump on them just coz the've smiled at you!
Munches & socials ain't about pulling, shagging, getting yer rocks off... if thats the way its gonna go then I wont be wasting my time & money going!

Quote by Ukwineman
I have been to a couple now and think there are very usefull to get to know people and more importantly them know me, regardless if I play that night.

I agree with you Sir!

Quote by PoloLady
...I go to a social with the intent of attending 'a social' - not to attempt to gain a shag for the night and treat the setting like a cattle market.

Me poor knees... but :thumbup:

Quote by devondelight
...Also is the need to find some fun less important for couples since they have each other to fall back on at the end of the evening. Than for singles who may go back to an empty hotel room.
DD

If the only attitude we all had was to worry if we were gonna go home alone then trust me Munches & Socials wont work & I would be the first to beg anyone with that mindset to stay home!
I go to munches to have a giggle
If going home or back to the hotel alone was to be taken as a failure then please shoot me now!
For me its a lifestyle...
I may not get on with or anyone actually like me for who I am but for now the fab dudes & dudettes I have met on the way more than makes it worth the effort
DD & any other newbies... :welcome:
After your first few times you will no longer be a stranger & you will be Munching & Socialising like a er...
redface

Munching & Socialising thing? dunno

6 Apr 2007

From our perspective as a couple, I can understand the view of "someone to fall back on" with respect to entering a social etc.... Yes, i would say that it would feel easier than to arrive as a first time single - you do have each other for company etc....
Although, i have never seen anyone left out at a munch and whether we found that person attractive sexually or not, everyone can still have a chat and giggle.
From our point of view, with regards to returning to the hotel etc alone, that is exactly what we do !!!
We never play after a munch and probably will never, the reason for this is alcohol lol

One of us or both drink at a social/munch - normally a lot more than we would if playing, the same generally goes for others. I like all my senses intact for play !!!!