For those of you with teenaged daughters......
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer down at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling of their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your trousers ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that you clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Severn Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like clean my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to make it necessary for my daughter to wear shorts, tanks tops, midriff t-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and a very large garden. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a team of kidnappers. When my paranoia starts acting up, the voices in my head tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
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Daddy's 10 rules for dating
Excellent,
As a father of a 14YO daughter, I can subscribe to all the aforementioned rules,
though that said I do fear that any suitors will have to be strong to cope with my very spirited and feisty little girl...
I suppose no matter how old she becomes she will always be my little girl... at least in my memory...
thinks aloud
Now J..... pull those jeans up and pull the T shirt down.... no body wants to see you midriff!! and what is all that gunk all over your eyes??
Mirth
I suppose the most trying years are about to dawn!!!
As a father of a 14YO daughter, I can subscribe to all the aforementioned rules,
though that said I do fear that any suitors will have to be strong to cope with my very spirited and feisty little girl...
I suppose no matter how old she becomes she will always be my little girl... at least in my memory...
thinks aloud
Now J..... pull those jeans up and pull the T shirt down.... no body wants to see you midriff!! and what is all that gunk all over your eyes??
Mirth
I suppose the most trying years are about to dawn!!!
Sex God
We have three sons, and after reading this, we now understand what they say when they come home and tell us - "I don't think her Dad liked me" 
On the other hand, we could compile a list as long as your arm, on how unsuitable some of the girls are for our sons, yet strangely they seem attracted to most of those
Tracy-Jayne & Jon
On the other hand, we could compile a list as long as your arm, on how unsuitable some of the girls are for our sons, yet strangely they seem attracted to most of those
Tracy-Jayne & Jon
Quote by Dawn_Mids
I suppose the most trying years are about to dawn!!!
Sorry???? Are you trying to say something
:x :x :x :x Dawn :silly:
God one has to be so careful what one says around here...., but now you come to mention it Dawn ... my sweet innocent daughter has a habit not unlike your avatar!!!!.... now if she was not my daughter that would be fine.... but it must be genetic.... fruit of my loins....does nothing for me... and I am saying cover them up
Mirthxx
Dawn.... you are not my 14 YO daughter... I would be asking you to allow me to get them out...
I do worry about my 16 YO son too... he is so different... Very quiet.... yes I will be checking out the girlfriends, ( sarge is there a frisking course you can recommend?) see if they will be gentle with him.... Son and daughter are like chalk and cheese... and both from the same gene pool!! wonders!!!!!
dammit I am just a worried parent... but suspect that is not unusual
Mirthxx
I do worry about my 16 YO son too... he is so different... Very quiet.... yes I will be checking out the girlfriends, ( sarge is there a frisking course you can recommend?) see if they will be gentle with him.... Son and daughter are like chalk and cheese... and both from the same gene pool!! wonders!!!!!
dammit I am just a worried parent... but suspect that is not unusual
Mirthxx
Quote by Kinky LizardSure Lizard
"Get your tits out for the lizards! Get your tits out for the lizards!!!"
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< over there <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
I'm sure everyone feels the same as you do mirth. Its just not my time yet as the eldest is only 12. I will suffer when the 7 year old twins hit teenage years big time.
Dawn :silly:
Warming the Bed
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Brilliant
I have printed that out and will be passing it onto my 15yo daughters latest boyfriend tonight, see what he thinks of that. I already "scare" him and have barely uttered more than a dozen words to him.
Sex God
my dad never needed a list.
he never spoke a word to any of the boys who dared to come to our front door...
... he just had a LOOK!
he rose one eyebrow in a way and his mouth turned at one side.
it was enough to reduce them all to trembling wrecks.....even the coolest boy in the school was scared.
he did a very good job of protecting my innocence!
he never spoke a word to any of the boys who dared to come to our front door...
... he just had a LOOK!
he rose one eyebrow in a way and his mouth turned at one side.
it was enough to reduce them all to trembling wrecks.....even the coolest boy in the school was scared.
he did a very good job of protecting my innocence!
Sex God
If my dad was around............................ I think I would still be a virgin now..... :shock: :shock: He is still around but im not telling him what I might be doing..on this site that I love 
But I am my dads daughter....... stubbured, I am...
but will still listern to others opinion, and open to other peoples opinion 
as I am a indiividual......
But I am my dads daughter....... stubbured, I am...
but will still listern to others opinion, and open to other peoples opinion as I am a indiividual...... I look at the honoured list of all the ladies who have posted in this thread and several thoughts cross my mind:
1) If only your fathers could see you in here now they would be so proud - NOT!
2) "It worked for me so it will work for her" ought to be rethought - considering who it is you are all asking for advice - us lot!
3) I am going to be exactly the same in about 5 years and will still not heed the warnings of my own words.
4) If any of these young men knew what their girlfriends mums did you would have a snowball in hells chance of stopping them pursuing their ultimate goal - or you (shades of Mrs Robinson!)
5) I had better go before my mother catches me in here!
Fred
1) If only your fathers could see you in here now they would be so proud - NOT!
2) "It worked for me so it will work for her" ought to be rethought - considering who it is you are all asking for advice - us lot!
3) I am going to be exactly the same in about 5 years and will still not heed the warnings of my own words.
4) If any of these young men knew what their girlfriends mums did you would have a snowball in hells chance of stopping them pursuing their ultimate goal - or you (shades of Mrs Robinson!)
5) I had better go before my mother catches me in here!
Fred
Sex God
Quote by FredFlintstone
I look at the honoured list of all the ladies who have posted in this thread and several thoughts cross my mind:
1) If only your fathers could see you in here now they would be so proud - NOT!
2) "It worked for me so it will work for her" ought to be rethought - considering who it is you are all asking for advice - us lot!
3) I am going to be exactly the same in about 5 years and will still not heed the warnings of my own words.
4) If any of these young men knew what their girlfriends mums did you would have a snowball in hells chance of stopping them pursuing their ultimate goal - or you (shades of Mrs Robinson!)
5) I had better go before my mother catches me in here!
Fred
Quote by MrsFC
I look at the honoured list of all the ladies who have posted in this thread and several thoughts cross my mind:
1) If only your fathers could see you in here now they would be so proud - NOT!
2) "It worked for me so it will work for her" ought to be rethought - considering who it is you are all asking for advice - us lot!
3) I am going to be exactly the same in about 5 years and will still not heed the warnings of my own words.
4) If any of these young men knew what their girlfriends mums did you would have a snowball in hells chance of stopping them pursuing their ultimate goal - or you (shades of Mrs Robinson!)
5) I had better go before my mother catches me in here!
Fred
Sex God
Okay sarge !!!!
what I meant to post did not come out as I had hoped 
ops: :oops:
It was no 2 of Freds post..........................................
Im sure I am following in my dads footsteps but at a later stage..... :oops: :oops: :oops:
what I meant to post did not come out as I had hoped
ops: :oops: It was no 2 of Freds post..........................................
Im sure I am following in my dads footsteps but at a later stage..... :oops: :oops: :oops:
Sex God
Don't you find it fun..................... to make the new boyfriend squirm alittle... I know I do but that is out of sheer pleasure. :twisted: Nothing horrible but just fun........as you know that they will be expecting it from the parents.
Im so glad im a girl/woman...
Im so glad im a girl/woman...
Sex God
You just picture yourselves in there postions and think..... FUN !!!!!!
What other pleasures do you have when it comes to boyfriends..........(no no no don't even go there! )
What other pleasures do you have when it comes to boyfriends..........(no no no don't even go there! )
Quote by VenusnMars
He`s gas a fearsome rputation with our daughter`s boyfriends1
I think you need to slow down on the Night Nurse and Benylin cocktails hun! Phew!
:wink: He will be really pleased to know his gas has a fearsome reputation - A thing only a man could be proud of!Quote by MrsFC
what I meant to post did not come out as I had hoped
It was no 2 of Freds post..........................................
And I'll have a pint of whatever you're drinking as well!
:roll: Fred
