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Dave_Notts has a problem . . . .

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Shall I, or shan't I, tell all? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Y'know, about your little problem :uhoh: blink
I mean, it's not like it's going to remain a secret for long now anyway is it?
/ taps finger whilst trying to decide ;-) :P :P :P
:lol2:
TJ xxxxx
G'wan T-J you know you wanna wink :giggle:
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
.....wipes tears from her eyes .....
Callie
Yeah! You can't just leave me hanging in suspenders!
Hmmm.... now I come to think of it! cool
Well it isn’t a problem as such……..but it is a bit of a conundrum.
Well you see, I was propositioned by someone (who shall remain nameless. We’ll just choose a random name of Jon).
So this Jon wants me to do all sorts of naughty and terrible things. Some of them are so naughty I had never even thought about them before.
Anyway!!! This Jon wants me to dress up as Lassie. I have searched all the fancy dress shops and couldn’t find anything suitable. So I went to the barbers and collected all the white hair bits from the clippings of the old men and then went to a hair luckily, they had just finished cutting the hair of three ginger ladies. So with a bit of PVA glue and double sided sticky tape……I am now ready for Jon. No idea what was on that hair but I am starting to itch and with my back leg I can just manage to scratch behind my ear.
I think he wants to bring someone else along I overheard him talking about “getting a good Roger”. I have no idea who this Roger is though.
I am not sure if I should go through with if I back down he may be angry……..and he is built like an ex-marine as well.
Is that the problem you were on about RedHot?
Or was it the one about what to get my mother for her birthday?
Dave_Notts
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
good god.
Where's my gun. mad
Quote by tyracer
good god.
Where's my gun. mad

:confused:
Samaritans can be found in yellow pages.
Dave_Notts
so it's not that Dave has a very small winky that doesn't get hard and when it does it spits straight away?
Oh ... ok. Hmmm. Lassie?
Quote by Marya_Northeast
so it's not that Dave has a very small winky that doesn't get hard and when it does it spits straight away?
Oh ... ok. Hmmm. Lassie?

Thats another one. But to be fair.........that isn't a problem to me. I get fulfilment lol
No prizes for coming second bolt
Dave_Notts
Dave, I'm sure you can cope with Jon AND Roger so that's hardly a problem.
What to buy your Mum on the other hand, is much more serious! :shock:
Quote by Sassy-Seren
Dave, I'm sure you can cope with Jon AND Roger so that's hardly a problem.
What to buy your Mum on the other hand, is much more serious! :shock:

For the first: A 45 gallon drum of industrial lube should do the trick.
For the second: That is a problem
Dave_Notts
OMG ... you are such a liar!!!!!
:bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs:
Lets face it ...... it wan't Jon doing the propositioning ...
Is any man safe?
Quote by Calista
OMG ... you are such a liar!!!!!
:bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs:
Lets face it ...... it wan't Jon doing the propositioning ...
Is any man safe?

All of them are safe :angel:
Except Morbius :inlove:
Dave__Notts
Quote by Dave__Notts
OMG ... you are such a liar!!!!!
:bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs:
Lets face it ...... it wan't Jon doing the propositioning ...
Is any man safe?

All of them are safe :angel:
Except Morbius :inlove:
Dave__Notts
LMAO ... I thought Jon was the object of your desire ??
Although those snogs last night left me feeling scared to sleep! bolt
Cx
Quote by Dave__Notts
Is that the problem you were on about RedHot?

Noooooo Dave . . . . . . Your liking for Marines in drag is not a problem, but a personal fetish. One which I'm sure we can accommodate on here :grin:
I was referring to your little . . . . y'know . . . . . problem . . . . . . . . . innocent
The one which involves, pampers, buckets and commodes :giggle:
However, I'd like to point out, as a redhead (not ginger smackbottom ) that shagging things with red hair is not an altogether terrible experience ...............
Unless of course, you still prefer to shag hair clippings stuck to ex marines bums ............
In which case, I'd rather not hear of it thanks all the same blink :crazy: :evil2:
TJ ;-)
Quote by Calista
OMG ... you are such a liar!!!!!
:bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs:
Lets face it ...... it wan't Jon doing the propositioning ...
Is any man safe?

All of them are safe :angel:
Except Morbius :inlove:
Dave__Notts
LMAO ... I thought Jon was the object of your desire ??
Although those snogs last night left me feeling scared to sleep! bolt
Cx
I now know I shouldn't have blown him all them kisses. Sorry Morbius redface
Mind you.......I was wondering how he managed to "point" at the screen and still have two hands in view. Perhaps he enjoyed them more than i originally thought wink
Dave_Notts
Quote by RedHot

Is that the problem you were on about RedHot?

Noooooo Dave . . . . . . Your liking for Marines in drag is not a problem, but a personal fetish. One which I'm sure we can accommodate on here :grin:
Thank god for that. I misread the glue bottle and it wasn't PVA glue but superglue. The folks at work today just stared.........I think I got away with it as I told them I forgot to shave
I was referring to your little . . . . y'know . . . . . problem . . . . . . . . . innocent
Oh dear........spilling the beans time......me thinks
The one which involves, pampers, buckets and commodes :giggle:
Oh phewwwww......had me worried then. Thought it was the other one. Anyway, thanks for selling me the commode, and especially with instructions. You just know how bad I am without them. Buckets have been purchased from B&Q, so no problem. What I have gone and done is lost the address for the man size pampers........can you ask Jon to forward it again for me please.
However, I'd like to point out, as a redhead (not ginger smackbottom ) that shagging things with red hair is not an altogether terrible experience ...............
I hope not.......Alex has just changed her hair red. Just what I need.........another firery one.
Unless of course, you still prefer to shag hair clippings stuck to ex marines bums ............
I am not saying anything on this point. It would be indiscrete to tell everybody about my late night meet with Jon on the beach at Bournemouth, with me dressed as Lassie. I did ask him if this was really dogging???? I never got an answer.....He just told me to..........SIT
In which case, I'd rather not hear of it thanks all the same blink :crazy: :evil2:
:doh: too late
TJ ;-)
Dave_Notts
What we dont get is the "Dave has A problem" singular like he has just the one :shock:
Quote by Silk and Big G
What we dont get is the "Dave has A problem" singular like he has just the one :shock:

Another one joins RedHot..............
............off the xmas card list lol
Dave_Notts
Quote by Silk and Big G
No card ? Oi vey !

Who is Vey dunno
And why are you oi-ing him? :dunno:
biggrin
Dave__Notts