Dear God

20 Aug 2004

Dear God,
I've done everything that was asked of me. I've worked hard all my life, cared for my family, laughed at people's jokes, helped anyone who asked me, and washed behind my ears ever day like my mummy taught me.
I've done all this, and I think there are one or two things I deserve in return.
(a) Muscles. I'm fed up looking like a bloated stick-figure - please take my belly away and give me some nice chunky arms.
(b) A better in-car sound system. My current one only has two speakers.
(c) An exceptionally attractive girlfriend. (I was gonna ask for a supermodel but I know there's some really really nice people you save those for.) Someone absolutely gorgeous, very witty and light, preferably someone who plays sports (but not to a high professional standard). Must enjoy gardening.
(d) A bigger TV.
(e) A bigger willy.
(f) An angel to clean my windows. It's hard to get at the upstairs ones over the guttering and the extension.
(g) Perfect teeth. My fillings annoy me.
(h) Perfect vision. My glasses leave a horrible impression on the bridge of my nose, and if I've got a supermodel girlfriend on my arm I'll look like a right dork wearing them.
(i) Some fish for my pool. Glow-in-the-dark ones, please.
(j) Better handwriting.
Cheers God, I know you'll come through.
Roger.

20 Aug 2004

:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Nice one Roger......
Congratulations on your 1000th post btw kiss

Shireen
xxx

20 Aug 2004

Roger,
You are a god and we are not worthy of your posts. Please tell me you are going to publish one of those little books you get on the counter of Waterstones.
Yoss

20 Aug 2004

Quote by roger743
Cheers God, I know you'll come through.
Roger.

How rogerish to wait till Godlike status was withdrawn before posting your 1000th lol

Have no idea how to do animated celebratory underpant thingy but - erm keep up the good work anyway biggrin

20 Aug 2004

Quote by Roger
(a) Muscles. I'm fed up looking like a bloated stick-figure - please take my belly away and give me some nice chunky arms.

oh roger if only . . . mine i mean not yours ffs . . . . i used to have a belly . . . . about 6 months preggers . . . . i need to get back on the climbing wall quick time . . . .
n x x x x ;-P

20 Aug 2004

Quote by roger743
Dear God,
I've done everything that was asked of me. I've worked hard all my life, cared for my family, laughed at people's jokes, helped anyone who asked me, and washed behind my ears ever day like my mummy taught me.

Every day?? I do remember a time when you didn't bathe for a week! :shock: :shock:

Quote by roger743
(f) An angel to clean my windows. It's hard to get at the upstairs ones over the guttering and the extension.

:shock: :shock: Roger, muchly though I luff ya, I ain't cleanin your :fuckinghell: windows for you! I don't even clean my OWN windows!!!
Oh yeah, and many congratulations on number 1000 - there was a while there when I thought you might not make it. Glad you did kiss

21 Aug 2004

Well done Roger,your a genuinely funny guy.
I wish i could have a belly,i'm just straight up and down and some people call me fido dido (especially Clare mad

)
Keep the wittisisms coming

21 Aug 2004

I dunno Roger,you dont want too much do you rolleyes

But why glow in the dark fish?????

21 Aug 2004

Quote by Clare_Lincs
But why glow in the dark fish?????

So I can see them at night,, silly. :twisted:

21 Aug 2004

Quote by JudyTV
Your request for a bigger TV has been granted so Mark has sent "ME" Enjoy the two different channels, you are indeed a lucky little god aren't you .

So tempting... but how big is your hoofer doofer? Does it have many buttons?

21 Aug 2004

Quote by Angel Chat
Every day?? I do remember a time when you didn't bathe for a week! :shock: :shock:

I still shaved, washed my face, and brushed my teeth, though.

Quote by Angel Chat
Oh yeah, and many congratulations on number 1000 - there was a while there when I thought you might not make it. Glad you did

Me too.

Thanks Angel, Shireen, Yossarian, Celticq, and everyone else for your well-wishes. I was actually going to post my life-story for my 1000th post, but I only got as far as the end of 2002 and I was just too fed up to continue. Maybe if I take a bit longer getting to my 2000th, I might finish it... :)

21 Aug 2004

Quote by roger743
But why glow in the dark fish?????

So I can see them after dark, silly. :twisted:
Ask and ye shall receive :shock: