Define a \&quot;Swinger\&quot;

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Angel Chat
... anyway I think that being a swinger is an attitude and a way of life. I don't think it is anything more complicated than that.

I think Splendid gave her real opinion here, rather than in her initial words (which I took as a humorous reply ;))
oh goodness me Angel. Please don't read my whole post. That just isn't done. rolleyes

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Truescorpio
Might I take this test, purely out of sheer curiosity splendid?

I think I may have been lying, just a little, about the questionnaire. wink

Write me one specially then :wink:
you have a PM.

9 Feb 2009

for the love of god please call an ambulance for me, my sides are splitting at the hilarity of your sarcasm confused

9 Feb 2009

Just out of interest, the single bi female you say you're looking for, what is she if not a swinger?

9 Feb 2009

goodness me... mmmm I have got my coat.

9 Feb 2009

Quote by noladreams30
Just out of interest, the single bi female you say you're looking for, what is she if not a swinger?

Fuelling a couples fantasy.

9 Feb 2009

Quote by noladreams30
Just out of interest, the single bi female you say you're looking for, what is she if not a swinger?

If she plays with couples then she is according to all the perceptions of swingers i've seen so far as highlighted in the OP.

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
Just out of interest, the single bi female you say you're looking for, what is she if not a swinger?

If she plays with couples then she is according to all the perceptions of swingers i've seen so far as highlighted in the OP.
But your OP seems very much to suggest that it is, in that instance, the couple who are swinging and not the single. I guess that's where I struggle with your question and definition.

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
Just out of interest, the single bi female you say you're looking for, what is she if not a swinger?

If she plays with couples then she is according to all the perceptions of swingers i've seen so far as highlighted in the OP.
OK then, here's another one to throw into the mix.
There have been several occasions where, for months at a time, I've taken a decision not to play with couples at all. No females whatsoever. I've only played with men. Yep, single men.
Was I, by your definition, not a swinger during those periods?
Even if I chose to play with 2 or 3 or 4 single men at the same time? dunno

(For clarity, I personally still think I was, but I wasn't playing with couples)

9 Feb 2009

Maybe she isnt classed as a swinger then.
As a single fem that is looking to play with couples, do you class yourself as a swinger?

9 Feb 2009

The definition I came across is rather more ambiguous and mentions nothing of the marital status of the person.

It seems pretty vague, but it is all encompassing regardless of gender, marital status or sexual preference.

9 Feb 2009

S: (n) swinger, tramp (a person who engages freely in promiscuous sex)

:shock: How rude!! rotflmao

9 Feb 2009

Quote by noladreams30
Just out of interest, the single bi female you say you're looking for, what is she if not a swinger?

Why she's a facilitator of course! :giggle:
I have no idea what I am, other than just simply me. I don't really give a monkies what other people feel the urge to label me as. I'm sure there's a variety of labels. Whatever floats your boat really. I use a whole load of descriptives to give people an idea of what I'm all about as you'll see from my profile. To me, they are just that, descriptives. If people choose to see them as labels then that's they way they choose to read them. That's not my doing, it's theirs.
At the moment I'm look for single blokes, mainly because I'm scunnered with couples. I wouldn't say I'd never do it again, equally I'm not saying I will. I have done in the past. In your eyes does that mean I was a swinger but I'm not any more? dunno

I sometimes play with single females on a one to one basis. I don't broadcast that on my profile, mainly because there's enough crap coming through my inbox as it is. As has been said, two bi females? Blimey, is it Christmas?!
I choose to be here. I choose to have sex with who I want (provided they want me of course) and I'm really not that bothered by what other people choose. It's their choice to make. I want to have sex. I don't want a relationship therefore a dating site isn't the place for me. I like the mindset here. I like having people to chat to who are on my wavelength, although there are some days when that's questionable! lol

I don't need to label people, if I ever describe myself as a swinger then it's a descriptive, nothing more, nothing less.
But just to pick up on a point that Choon made earlier... it's not about not trusting someone's word for the fact that they play alone with the consent of their partner. For me it's about peace of mind and knowing that I can be absolutely sure that what I'm doing is okay. Anyone can say that their partner is fine with them playing alone, when you're getting involved in someone else's relationship it can be delicate and I want to make absolutely sure that I'm not standing on toes. I'd be horrified if I thought that by asking someone if that's okay to have clarification, they'd think badly of me for not trusting them.

9 Feb 2009

Clearly the thread was placed simply to obtain posts that didn't agree with the OP's personal opinion and the carefully selected web-references. Thus allowing the OP to disagree with them.
Point - if you ask for 'thoughts' it really is rather rude to then jump on the thoughts and disagree with them.
Defining one's self as a swinger is not a matter of measurable fact, it's a matter of opinion. And not someone else's opinion at that. So if you ask if other people agree with you (in your definition of what a swinger is) and they say 'no', my feeling is that you should accept it as their opinion, just as valid as your opinion.

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Angel Chat
S: (n) swinger, tramp (a person who engages freely in promiscuous sex)

:shock: How rude!! rotflmao

Eeek! I know... It isn't the nicest is it?
I think probably over time the etymology of 'Swinging' has slightly altered its meaning in the same way gay meant something different in 1948 than it does today. I think originally the word was designed for couples who 'swung'... but I think it has moved more towards identifying 'people' who like to have consensual sex with more than one person. Obviously in the first definition, marriage is vital, in the other it isn't.
However I think as someone eloquently said earlier. It is simply an exercise in semantics and as with the other version of swinging that exists, you do end up just going backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards, not really going anywhere.

9 Feb 2009

I think that the word 'swinger' has evolved since it's original usage. I like to think that it now encompasses all who have a liberated view to sex and sexual relationships.

9 Feb 2009

Quote by foxylady2209
Clearly the thread was placed simply to obtain posts that didn't agree with the OP's personal opinion and the carefully selected web-references. Thus allowing the OP to disagree with them.
Point - if you ask for 'thoughts' it really is rather rude to then jump on the thoughts and disagree with them.
Defining one's self as a swinger is not a matter of measurable fact, it's a matter of opinion. And not someone else's opinion at that. So if you ask if other people agree with you (in your definition of what a swinger is) and they say 'no', my feeling is that you should accept it as their opinion, just as valid as your opinion.

You honestly believe i started a thread purely so i could disagree with anyone & everyone who replied??? Fair enough, its your opinion i suppose, you couldnt be further from the truth if you tried but there you go!
I did ask for thoughts, and as far as i'm aware i wasnt being rude, and the fact that i've disagreed with the thoughts of others clearly shows i have my own opinions. If i agreed with everything everybody else has posted i'd be a pretty mixed up individual right now.
One one hand you're telling me to accept other people's opinions, then on the other hand you're having a go at me for not agreeing with other peoples? makes no sense to me dunno

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Calista
I think that the word 'swinger' has evolved since it's original usage. I like to think that it now encompasses all who have a liberated view to sex and sexual relationships.

:thumbup:

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
Clearly the thread was placed simply to obtain posts that didn't agree with the OP's personal opinion and the carefully selected web-references. Thus allowing the OP to disagree with them.
Point - if you ask for 'thoughts' it really is rather rude to then jump on the thoughts and disagree with them.
Defining one's self as a swinger is not a matter of measurable fact, it's a matter of opinion. And not someone else's opinion at that. So if you ask if other people agree with you (in your definition of what a swinger is) and they say 'no', my feeling is that you should accept it as their opinion, just as valid as your opinion.

You honestly believe i started a thread purely so i could disagree with anyone & everyone who replied??? Fair enough, its your opinion i suppose, you couldnt be further from the truth if you tried but there you go!
I did ask for thoughts, and as far as i'm aware i wasnt being rude, and the fact that i've disagreed with the thoughts of others clearly shows i have my own opinions. If i agreed with everything everybody else has posted i'd be a pretty mixed up individual right now.
One one hand you're telling me to accept other people's opinions, then on the other hand you're having a go at me for not agreeing with other peoples? makes no sense to me dunno

I would never require someone to agree with someone else's different opinion. But I have never seen the point in arguing with them over it, possibly trying to get them to change their opinion.
Person A says "I think a single can't be a swinger" person B says "I am single and I call myself a swinger".
Person A's options? Not much beyond agreeing to disagree. I wouldn't expect A to change their opinion, nor would I expect B to. So what's the point? A and B repeatedly stating their opinions is not going to change either side's opinion so why bother?

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Calista
I think that the word 'swinger' has evolved since it's original usage. I like to think that it now encompasses all who have a liberated view to sex and sexual relationships.

I agree. In my mind, a swinger is anyone who swings from one person to the next so to speak, has sex without strings? playful sex, maybe non relationship sex, club sex or any adult liberated sex away from the norm or maybe just fun???
(note to myself: what's the norm wink

??)

9 Feb 2009

Originally the term " swinger " was a definition of " couples " who swapped partners. That was always what it meant but.....over time that has obviously changed.
Years ago very few " singles " played, as it was more of a couples thing. Now however singles have become much more involved in the swinging scene.
I am really undecided now as to my own personel opinion of what it means. If someone was to go to a swingers club, be they singles or couples, and they PLAYED, they by definition would be classed as swingers.
People who do not play sexually are not swingers....but maybe would like to that does not constitute a swinger.

9 Feb 2009

Quote by flower411
Don`t really care what labels people want to use
But this thread does bring a song to mind

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
For everything else there's mastercard! :wink:

10 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
If wiki is so mis-informed, show me the site that is informed

http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/terminology/swinging.html
:lol:

10 Feb 2009

I am not sure that definition is particularly good. Unfortunately swinging does involve some deceit somewhere. Be it anything from having a vague profile to not wanting a distant relative to find out about you.
But with such a wide and undefined set of definitions available, it seems possible that people can partake in swinging and still convince themselves it is something else; or equally to do something unrelated and think it is.

10 Feb 2009

You mean see Dawn Porter on TV is not swinging. :cry: I am not in the grove? :cry:

10 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
singles are swingers. Because I say so.

There's an argument with no comeback....the gospel according to splendid confused

Sorry, but you need better reasoning than that!
No need to apologise.
I don't. Wiki is based on people's perceptions.. you have backed it up with your own. I have given my perception and it holds as much weight.
I have also added more of my opinion later on. Basically a label is whatever the person who is using it defines it as.
So putting aside the fact that every definition i've found on the net of a swinger states a couple that play with other couples or singles, your one perception and argument that singles are swingers because you say so holds as much weight? righto loon

Coupleseekfun, please don't take this the wrong way, ((( and Splendid, apologies if I appear to be putting words in your mouth here. It's a useful starting point. ;) ))) but it looks as though you may have rather missed the point there. Another way of saying 'because I say so' might be 'I am a swinger because I define myself as such, and I define the NSA recreational sexual activities I engage in as swinging.'
For example, when I was on here as a single male, I attended swinging parties, swinging clubs, after-social get togethers that might have involved 10 to 12 people all playing in the same room, and had other meets that merely involved one on one reasonably straight heterosexual sex. I can only define the things I got up to at every one of those events as swinging. It certainly wasn't just shagging, in the way that one on one straight heterosexual sex might be defined by some as merely shagging. The point is, I approached one on one sex with people I met here in much the same way as I approached swinging with couples and moresomes. If I was swinging at all of those events in my own mind, then it would seem to follow that that makes me a swinger regardless of the type of activity, and my personal perception of that holds just as much water, if not more, than any other definition you could present me with.
Swinging is an attitude, another one of Splendid's points. It is not defined by relationship status, sexual acts, or the number of bodies present at the time.
Neil x x x ;)

10 Feb 2009

Quote by neilinleeds
singles are swingers. Because I say so.

There's an argument with no comeback....the gospel according to splendid confused

Sorry, but you need better reasoning than that!
No need to apologise.
I don't. Wiki is based on people's perceptions.. you have backed it up with your own. I have given my perception and it holds as much weight.
I have also added more of my opinion later on. Basically a label is whatever the person who is using it defines it as.
So putting aside the fact that every definition i've found on the net of a swinger states a couple that play with other couples or singles, your one perception and argument that singles are swingers because you say so holds as much weight? righto loon

Coupleseekfun, please don't take this the wrong way, ((( and Splendid, apologies if I appear to be putting words in your mouth here. It's a useful starting point. ;) ))) but it looks as though you may have rather missed the point there. Another way of saying 'because I say so' might be 'I am a swinger because I define myself as such, and I define the NSA recreational sexual activities I engage in as swinging.'
For example, when I was on here as a single male, I attended swinging parties, swinging clubs, after-social get togethers that might have involved 10 to 12 people all playing in the same room, and had other meets that merely involved one on one reasonably straight heterosexual sex. I can only define the things I got up to at every one of those events as swinging. It certainly wasn't just shagging, in the way that one on one straight heterosexual sex might be defined by some as merely shagging. The point is, I approached one on one sex with people I met here in much the same way as I approached swinging with couples and moresomes. If I was swinging at all of those events in my own mind, then it would seem to follow that that makes me a swinger regardless of the type of activity, and my personal perception of that holds just as much water, if not more, than any other definition you could present me with.
Swinging is an attitude, another one of Splendid's points. It is not defined by relationship status, sexual acts, or the number of bodies present at the time.
Neil x x x ;)
You put it sooo much better than I did.
worship

:worship: :worship:

10 Feb 2009

Quote by Dirtygirly
Don`t really care what labels people want to use
But this thread does bring a song to mind

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
For everything else there's mastercard! :wink:
This just for meeting Op's :karaoke:

10 Feb 2009

Sexually
Wise
Individual
Now
Getting
Endless
Rogering

10 Feb 2009

Quote by ForestFunsters
Sexually
Wise
Individual
Now
Getting
Endless
Rogering

Very, very good!
I thank you!