Define a \&quot;Swinger\&quot;

9 Feb 2009

This is something i've commonly though about in relation to the singles on the site, none more so than lately when reading through a particular thread and a single male stating that he very very rarely meets couples, which kind of leaves the single male wanting to meet single fem's only or a group of fem's (lmfao - like that will ever happen lol

)
Now, does a single male meeting a single female constitute swinging? In my opinion it doesnt, and on all of the website i've viewed on the subject of swinging and attempting to categorize swingers, not one site mentions the act of 2 singles getting it on as an act of swinging.
To quote wikipedia "Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple" it also continues "swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in sexual activity with another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual"
The same can be said of single fems on the site seeking single males only, can this be construed as swinging? Again i personally think no, going back to the quote from wiki, singles are mentioned in activities with couples, but not engaging in activities by themselves.
So.....what exactly is a swinger then? I personally think that a single male/fem on the site looking for single fem/male only aren't swingers, but are here simply hoping for no strings sex with as many or as few as possible, not that there is anything wrong with that, each to their own, but can these folk really class themselves as swingers?
Thoughts?

9 Feb 2009

This has been covered on previous threads - I'll leave it to someone else to find and post the link.
My summary - for want of a better description, a single person in 'this' lifestyle might as well be called a swinger as anyone. For instance, what do you call a married person who swings alone? (Sounds like the start of a bad joke LOL)
It's simply a fight between semantics and the lifestyle. We'd go mad trying to find separate words to describe all kinds of people who are on here. So we keep it simple - and THAT's what swinging is all about. biggrin

9 Feb 2009

Quote by foxylady2209
For instance, what do you call a married person who swings alone? (Sounds like the start of a bad joke LOL)

Cheating? :grin: bolt

9 Feb 2009

I'm not even going to begin to try and give a definition of what a swinger is, there are way too many variables lol

I will try to answer your point about singles from my own perspective though.
I'm a single female, and on my profile I'm pretty sure it says "I don't meet couples". However, this isn't strictly true. There are couples that I play with, and quite often if I go to a club with a single male, the pair of us will play with couples. The reason my profile says I don't meet them is because I don't want to be the single female in a FFM threesome. You should see how many messages a single bi female gets from couples who seem to think it's their right to meet them/us/me simply because that's what they're looking for!
I'll happily play in a foursome or moresome, but on my own terms ;)
So yes, my profile says I'm straight and I don't meet couples. The reality shows this to not be quite true though cool

:lol:
So am I a swinger? By your definition, maybe not. By mine? Yes, and I like it that way :lol:

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
To quote wikipedia "Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple" it also continues "swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in sexual activity with another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual"
The same can be said of single fems on the site seeking single males only, can this be construed as swinging? Again i personally think no, going back to the quote from wiki, singles are mentioned in activities with couples, but not engaging in activities by themselves.
So.....what exactly is a swinger then? I personally think that a single male/fem on the site looking for single fem/male only aren't swingers, but are here simply hoping for no strings sex with as many or as few as possible, not that there is anything wrong with that, each to their own, but can these folk really class themselves as swingers?
Thoughts?

In this instance, I would suggest that Wikipedia is a poor reference point as swinging cannot be categorically decribed as a definite activity.
Speaking as one of "these folk", swinging fits into my interest in sexual variety, be that a threesome with a couple or a threesome with two singles or whatever else I feel like at any given time. If that means we aren't the right type of person to have the label swinger bestowed on us by people who feel a need to define it, that's ok! I don't need that to have sex the way I want to - in fact, if this place was called NSAHeaven, Onestopshag or Onlycouplesarerealswingers, would anything change for any of us, couples or singles? I doubt it. Swinger is just a convenient word, like toast is, regardless of whether it's a bloomer or a cottage loaf.
Personally, I see no need to define what a swinger is, mostly because being a swinger doesn't define what people are. It's simply one facet of a much bigger life. biggrin

And anyway, wasn't it decided on a recent thread that singles are now referred to as facilitators? lol

9 Feb 2009

I would argue (and I do several times a day) that Wikipedia isn't really a reliable source for any information. But maybe that's just me. wink

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
This is something i've commonly though about in relation to the singles on the site, none more so than lately when reading through a particular thread and a single male stating that he very very rarely meets couples, which kind of leaves the single male wanting to meet single fem's only or a group of fem's (lmfao - like that will ever happen )
Now, does a single male meeting a single female constitute swinging? In my opinion it doesnt, and on all of the website i've viewed on the subject of swinging and attempting to categorize swingers, not one site mentions the act of 2 singles getting it on as an act of swinging.
To quote wikipedia "Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple" it also continues "swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in sexual activity with another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual"
The same can be said of single fems on the site seeking single males only, can this be construed as swinging? Again i personally think no, going back to the quote from wiki, singles are mentioned in activities with couples, but not engaging in activities by themselves.
So.....what exactly is a swinger then? I personally think that a single male/fem on the site looking for single fem/male only aren't swingers, but are here simply hoping for no strings sex with as many or as few as possible, not that there is anything wrong with that, each to their own, but can these folk really class themselves as swingers?
Thoughts?

I tend to agree with most of your sentiments here. I think swinging could be described as a 'couples thing'. But that is not to say there isn't a place (very prominent in some cases) for singles.

Quote by Coupleseekfun
For instance, what do you call a married person who swings alone? (Sounds like the start of a bad joke LOL)

Cheating? :grin: bolt

I know you are joking but I really - so really disgree with that. I am married, but for various reasons Angelica has decided that I can swing on my own. And I can assure you I am not cheating. She has agreed to be available to speak to anyone who wants to confirm that but, quite frankly, if anyone distrusts me enough to want to do that then I ain't swinging with them anyway.
Sorry - raw nerve there!!
.

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Angel Chat
You should see how many messages a single bi female gets from couples who seem to think it's their right to meet them/us/me simply because that's what they're looking for!

I find your lack of gratitude disgusting, can't you see they are doing you a favour? rolleyes

9 Feb 2009

Quote by westerross
This is something i've commonly though about in relation to the singles on the site, none more so than lately when reading through a particular thread and a single male stating that he very very rarely meets couples, which kind of leaves the single male wanting to meet single fem's only or a group of fem's (lmfao - like that will ever happen )
Now, does a single male meeting a single female constitute swinging? In my opinion it doesnt, and on all of the website i've viewed on the subject of swinging and attempting to categorize swingers, not one site mentions the act of 2 singles getting it on as an act of swinging.
To quote wikipedia "Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple" it also continues "swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in sexual activity with another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual"
The same can be said of single fems on the site seeking single males only, can this be construed as swinging? Again i personally think no, going back to the quote from wiki, singles are mentioned in activities with couples, but not engaging in activities by themselves.
So.....what exactly is a swinger then? I personally think that a single male/fem on the site looking for single fem/male only aren't swingers, but are here simply hoping for no strings sex with as many or as few as possible, not that there is anything wrong with that, each to their own, but can these folk really class themselves as swingers?
Thoughts?

I tend to agree with most of your sentiments here. I think swinging could be described as a 'couples thing'. But that is not to say there isn't a place (very prominent in some cases) for singles.

Quote by Coupleseekfun
For instance, what do you call a married person who swings alone? (Sounds like the start of a bad joke LOL)

Cheating? :grin: bolt

I know you are joking but I really - so really disgree with that. I am married, but for various reasons Angelica has decided that I can swing on my own. And I can assure you I am not cheating. She has agreed to be available to speak to anyone who wants to confirm that but, quite frankly, if anyone distrusts me enough to want to do that then I ain't swinging with them anyway.
Sorry - raw nerve there!!
.
amen to that choony baby....i also afford Mr B the same courtesy......sometimes i just cant be assed to swing, but he wants too....he has the option to go alone with my full blessing (should he ever be able to get a meet as one of those dreaded 'single males' ) but hes not cheating, and I certainly dont regard it as such
in fact I'd regard him as being one hell of a luckly bloke for being in the position many hubbys/life partners would give their eye teeth to be in!!
:therethere: :therethere: for my lil choonster kiss

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Angel Chat
So am I a swinger? By your definition, maybe not. By mine? Yes, and I like it that way

On the contrary....i would say you very much are a swinger, as your reasons for what your profile states and the reality are 2 completely different things.
So what you're saying then is that in fact you're lying through you're back teeth on your profile? :lol:

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
So am I a swinger? By your definition, maybe not. By mine? Yes, and I like it that way

On the contrary....i would say you very much are a swinger, as your reasons for what your profile states and the reality are 2 completely different things.
So what you're saying then is that in fact you're lying through you're back teeth on your profile? :lol:
:giggle: Yep :mrgreen:

9 Feb 2009

Quote by westerross
Cheating? :grin:

I know you are joking but I really - so really disgree with that. I am married, but for various reasons Angelica has decided that I can swing on my own. And I can assure you I am not cheating. She has agreed to be available to speak to anyone who wants to confirm that but, quite frankly, if anyone distrusts me enough to want to do that then I ain't swinging with them anyway.
Sorry - raw nerve there!!

I know you know i was joking, and i know you really disagree with me, but i really really was joking, it was said tongue in cheek. I know of quite a few married people who play alone with full consent of their partner so dont get too uptight with a remark said in jest.
I dare say there are an awful lot of married people on this site and many others who play alone with consent, but then lets not forget i bet there is another awful lot of married people who play alone without their partners consent!!!

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Angel Chat
So am I a swinger? By your definition, maybe not. By mine? Yes, and I like it that way

On the contrary....i would say you very much are a swinger, as your reasons for what your profile states and the reality are 2 completely different things.
So what you're saying then is that in fact you're lying through you're back teeth on your profile? :lol:
:giggle: Yep :mrgreen:
Cool....well thats cleared that one up rotflmao

9 Feb 2009

Quote by noladreams30
I would argue (and I do several times a day) that Wikipedia isn't really a reliable source for any information. But maybe that's just me.

It isn't! They can't even spell themselves properly!

9 Feb 2009

Quote by TheLovelyOne
I would argue (and I do several times a day) that Wikipedia isn't really a reliable source for any information. But maybe that's just me.

It isn't! They can't even spell themselves properly!
kiss

Oh but it's an uphill battle isn't it?!

9 Feb 2009

Ok so wiki is crap, you go and find another site then where it states that swinging constitutes 2 singles engaging in sexual activities together....i've found countless other sites that all list couples.
If wiki is so mis-informed, show me the site that is informed lol

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
show me the site that is informed

9 Feb 2009

lmfao - smart arse

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
lmfao - smart arse

Something tells me that you might have one or two agreeing with you biggrin

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
So am I a swinger? By your definition, maybe not. By mine? Yes, and I like it that way

On the contrary....i would say you very much are a swinger, as your reasons for what your profile states and the reality are 2 completely different things.
So what you're saying then is that in fact you're lying through you're back teeth on your profile? :lol:
:giggle: Yep :mrgreen:
Cool....well thats cleared that one up rotflmao

Actually I've just looked again, and although in the "sexuality" bit I've ticked Straight Female, it does say in the body of text (which is 691 words, I just checked in MS Word :shock: :lol smile

that I do play with certain females.
So in fact, I'm not a complete liar :smug:

9 Feb 2009

singles are swingers. Because I say so. I do fuck men who are cheating, and they aren't swingers. I also fuck married men who aren't cheating and their wives love that I am not about to bandy all about the site that I have been fucking them.
I am in a relationship and we do fuck people as a couple and as swingles. Believe it or not if we do meet people together we have to be very very careful as people will sell their souls to meet a 'lesbian' couple. (strange as that may seem rolleyes

) They have to complete an extensive on-line questionnaire and pass the test as swingers rather than voyeurs.
To our cost we have found people can't keep it up when faced with their fantasy.. so we have to be very selective. What they do miss is that to ourselves we are a regular couple, it is only in their imagination that we fuck with an audience.
I digress... anyway I think that being a swinger is an attitude and a way of life. I don't think it is anything more complicated than that.

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Truescorpio
Might I take this test, purely out of sheer curiosity splendid?

I think I may have been lying, just a little, about the questionnaire. wink

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Angel Chat
So am I a swinger? By your definition, maybe not. By mine? Yes, and I like it that way

On the contrary....i would say you very much are a swinger, as your reasons for what your profile states and the reality are 2 completely different things.
So what you're saying then is that in fact you're lying through you're back teeth on your profile? :lol:
:giggle: Yep :mrgreen:
Cool....well thats cleared that one up rotflmao

Actually I've just looked again, and although in the "sexuality" bit I've ticked Straight Female, it does say in the body of text (which is 691 words, I just checked in MS Word :shock: :lol smile

that I do play with certain females.
So in fact, I'm not a complete liar :smug:
The plot thickens, so now you're telling me you're a partial liar who also cant remember what she has lied about in the past to cover her tracks? lmfao

9 Feb 2009

Quote by splendid_
singles are swingers. Because I say so.

There's an argument with no comeback....the gospel according to splendid confused

Sorry, but you need better reasoning than that!

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
singles are swingers. Because I say so.

There's an argument with no comeback....the gospel according to splendid confused

Sorry, but you need better reasoning than that!
No need to apologise.
I don't. Wiki is based on people's perceptions.. you have backed it up with your own. I have given my perception and it holds as much weight.
I have also added more of my opinion later on. Basically a label is whatever the person who is using it defines it as.

9 Feb 2009

Quote by splendid_
singles are swingers. Because I say so.

There's an argument with no comeback....the gospel according to splendid confused

Sorry, but you need better reasoning than that!
No need to apologise.
I don't. Wiki is based on people's perceptions.. you have backed it up with your own. I have given my perception and it holds as much weight.
I have also added more of my opinion later on. Basically a label is whatever the person who is using it defines it as.
I agree Splendid. We are EACH our own definition of what we are. And no-one gets to define us.
I would never claim to be anything other than 5 foot 6 but I can call myself tall if I want biggrin

And I am a swinger now (in a relationship) just as I was when I was not in a relationship. :D

9 Feb 2009

Quote by splendid_
singles are swingers. Because I say so.

There's an argument with no comeback....the gospel according to splendid confused

Sorry, but you need better reasoning than that!
No need to apologise.
I don't. Wiki is based on people's perceptions.. you have backed it up with your own. I have given my perception and it holds as much weight.
I have also added more of my opinion later on. Basically a label is whatever the person who is using it defines it as.
So putting aside the fact that every definition i've found on the net of a swinger states a couple that play with other couples or singles, your one perception and argument that singles are swingers because you say so holds as much weight? righto loon

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Coupleseekfun
The plot thickens, so now you're telling me you're a partial liar who also cant remember what she has lied about in the past to cover her tracks? lmfao

No, now you're mixing me up with the married/otherwise attached men I keep finding myself involved with rolleyes

:lol: Being a swingle is far simpler, even if my "sexuality" doesn't match up with the "profile text" ;)
It's actually very clever y'see. That way, people who are just looking for a single bi female will probably pass my profile by. Those who are interested in me will probably take the time to read the text and then they'll realise I'm not strictly straight anyway. Everyone wins! cool

:lol:

9 Feb 2009

Quote by splendid_
... anyway I think that being a swinger is an attitude and a way of life. I don't think it is anything more complicated than that.

I think Splendid gave her real opinion here, rather than in her initial words (which I took as a humorous reply ;))

9 Feb 2009

Quote by Angel Chat
The plot thickens, so now you're telling me you're a partial liar who also cant remember what she has lied about in the past to cover her tracks? lmfao

No, now you're mixing me up with the married/otherwise attached men I keep finding myself involved with rolleyes

:lol: Being a swingle is far simpler, even if my "sexuality" doesn't match up with the "profile text" ;)
It's actually very clever y'see. That way, people who are just looking for a single bi female will probably pass my profile by. Those who are interested in me will probably take the time to read the text and then they'll realise I'm not strictly straight anyway. Everyone wins! cool

:lol:
I know, i'm just messing with ya :lol: To be honest i can understand why you have your profile the way you do, makes your life a lot simpler i suppose!