Thanks to all those who replied to my previous posting on this topic, especially all those of you that expesed parts of their inner selves.
My friend has agreed to go to the hospital tomorrow , but is still saying she will not take anti depresents. I know she needs them and that is they would just lift the mist that is surrounding her at the moment she would be intelligent enough to make her own way into the light.
Anyone any suggestions as to what to say to her?
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Depression 2
Sex God
Hi Foxylady123, It's a difficult one and I don't think there'll be any easy answers here but the fact that you're friend enough that you'll stay with her and give her support along the way is possibly the biggest thing you can do for her right now. You've done good already because she has at least agreed to seek medical assistance, a forward step. In honesty it's going to be difficult for both of you, but it really is amazing how powerful friendship/love can be - it really does keep you going when you might otherwise just walk away.
In terms of whether she'll take anti-depressants or not, it's debatable whether that's good or bad. A friend I know was on anti-depressants for some time before I ever met her but decided on her own to completely stop ... her reasoning to me was that taking anti-depressants wasn't dealing with the problem, it was almost like pretending the problem wasn't there. Coming OFF them however, suddenly forced her to face everything at once and it's been a very difficult few years for her and me and she's only now getting to the point where she sees that light at the end of the tunnel.
Her husband at the time, called them her 'happy pills', needless to say he was the cause of much of the problem.
In terms of whether she'll take anti-depressants or not, it's debatable whether that's good or bad. A friend I know was on anti-depressants for some time before I ever met her but decided on her own to completely stop ... her reasoning to me was that taking anti-depressants wasn't dealing with the problem, it was almost like pretending the problem wasn't there. Coming OFF them however, suddenly forced her to face everything at once and it's been a very difficult few years for her and me and she's only now getting to the point where she sees that light at the end of the tunnel.
Her husband at the time, called them her 'happy pills', needless to say he was the cause of much of the problem.
Sex God
foxy,
i'm not sure on this one. if she is going to the hospital/GP i'd leave that to the dr's to encourage her and help her see there is no stigma to it and it will help her. just hold her hand and get her there.
but, from my own experience of prozac, it takes a long while to kick in, and during that time you think it isn't working, i don't need them, i'm perfectly fine without them, they are me making me feel worse, etc etc. all the same denial about the actual depression in the first place, because you aren't often that rational when you need them most.
but if they work for you, 4-6-8 weeks down the line you can suddenly wake up one morning, the sun will be shining for the first time in ages, and you will hopefully find a sudden sense of perspective on the problem that resulted in you needing them in the first place, and begin to work through it.
you will have a rough time supporting your friend, and helping her cope. make sure you have someone to help you cope too. it will not be easy if she is that depressed.
neil x x x ;-)
i'm not sure on this one. if she is going to the hospital/GP i'd leave that to the dr's to encourage her and help her see there is no stigma to it and it will help her. just hold her hand and get her there.
but, from my own experience of prozac, it takes a long while to kick in, and during that time you think it isn't working, i don't need them, i'm perfectly fine without them, they are me making me feel worse, etc etc. all the same denial about the actual depression in the first place, because you aren't often that rational when you need them most.
but if they work for you, 4-6-8 weeks down the line you can suddenly wake up one morning, the sun will be shining for the first time in ages, and you will hopefully find a sudden sense of perspective on the problem that resulted in you needing them in the first place, and begin to work through it.
you will have a rough time supporting your friend, and helping her cope. make sure you have someone to help you cope too. it will not be easy if she is that depressed.
neil x x x ;-)
Sex God
Quote by Jags
Just warn her that if she so obviously NEEDS treatment but refuses it then the medical bodies may section her, under the Mental Health Act, for 28 days and compel her to take medication. :shock:
I think they'd need to know or believe that she's a danger to herself or others before that happens, but I don't think mentioning something like that would be all that helpful and could have the opposite effect to what you want.
We can only make suggestions and offer support to Foxylady123 because we don't know the full circumstances. Even my post, is deliberately vague but these things are seldom straightforward.
Quote by J3diMast3r
Just warn her that if she so obviously NEEDS treatment but refuses it then the medical bodies may section her, under the Mental Health Act, for 28 days and compel her to take medication. :shock:
I think they'd need to know or believe that she's a danger to herself or others before that happens, but I don't think mentioning something like that would be all that helpful and could have the opposite effect to what you want.
We can only make suggestions and offer support to Foxylady123 because we don't know the full circumstances. Even my post, is deliberately vague but these things are seldom straightforward.
Yes, I know!!! But I wanted foxy to be aware that it may be a possiblity. If she's behaving as badly as was described earlier then she may be a danger to herself... best if foxy is prepared for what MAY happen. Hopefully it won't.
:P
Sex God
Anti-depressants are a mixed 'blessing'. It is far better if your friend feels comfortable with whatever she chooses to do - although Jags warning above would be a worry.
I hope your friend feels much better soon. It can be so debilitating.
Sorry I can't be of more help.
I hope your friend feels much better soon. It can be so debilitating.
Sorry I can't be of more help.
Foxy, if she is online, then suggest to her that she joins an online support group, there are plenty of them out there. That way she will be able to read personal experiances with AD`s both good and bad, she will probably find out that although most people find taking them comes with it`s own set of issues, the alternative can be much worse. There are many scare stories out there concerning meds, and this really is the best way to get a clearer picture. Plus it`s always rewarding to be among those who suffer too. Make a person feel less alone.
Venusxxx
Venusxxx
Sex God
I would not describe anti-depressants as a "mixed blessing". They can be a great help in damping down depressive feelings your friend has, Foxy, to enable her to be helped to do something about her underlying problems. While she is on anti-depressants she might be offered counselling or self-help therapy. In most areas of the country there are groups on offer (under the area health authority, i.e. free) where people learn about managing anxiety, anger, and depression, learning specific techniques which help people to manage/cope with these things. Groups can be particular helpful as she will realise that she is not the only person with these problems, though it can be a big step for someone to take to start - it takes courage. When she feels better, or significantly improved, she can begin to reduce her medication, gradually, with the guidance of her doctor. It might take months, or a year or two..or more, nobody can tell.
Society's attitudes to mental health problems do not make it easy for people to admit to having problems or to needing help. She mght feel she's being labelled as "mad" (as an aside, I must confess that I cringe every time someone welcomes a newbie in here with "welcome to the madhouse" or similar expressions) Jokes about "the men in white coats" etc etc abound in the media, made by people who ought to know better. Most people have a family member or relative at one time who suffers from a mental helath problem, even if only for a short period. It's more common than many people will admit.
Good luck with helping your friend, Foxy. Please let us know how things go for her.
Mike.
Society's attitudes to mental health problems do not make it easy for people to admit to having problems or to needing help. She mght feel she's being labelled as "mad" (as an aside, I must confess that I cringe every time someone welcomes a newbie in here with "welcome to the madhouse" or similar expressions) Jokes about "the men in white coats" etc etc abound in the media, made by people who ought to know better. Most people have a family member or relative at one time who suffers from a mental helath problem, even if only for a short period. It's more common than many people will admit.
Good luck with helping your friend, Foxy. Please let us know how things go for her.
Mike.
Sex God
I know someone who had a good friend who insisted they went to a local self-help group. The one in Cardiff was called 'Walkfree' - it was a real comfort and I guess didn't entail anti-depressants.
I've had a few problems with depression for many years and have done the anti depressant thing many times and have even worked in a mental health project for a while so have seen it from both points of view.
By the time I was 15 Id already seen two psychologists haha I can laugh now in a way?? I think
Anyway from my personal experience anti depressants are a quick fix and as far as councelling goes different things work for different people although I am very sceptical about groups for people with mental health problems, up to a certain point I think they can help but its not always a good idea to be surrounded by depressed people.
Some people seem to respond better to these treatments than others I think I probably just got over my black cloud in my own time by just plugging on. I dont think theres any method available in the world for depression that you can just give to someone to fix all their problems especially when it's being caused by your environment or situation you are in and you cant get out of it.
Best thing you can do for your friend is offer her your support (only listening, do nothing for her its useless!). As long as she knows all the options available to her and she has people to listen. She might have her own blask cloud for a long time yet or she might just gather a bit of clarity of her own and then one day BLING its all starts to make sense and starts to get easier!!
Thats what I feel from my personal experience anyway! Best of luck!
By the time I was 15 Id already seen two psychologists haha I can laugh now in a way?? I think
Anyway from my personal experience anti depressants are a quick fix and as far as councelling goes different things work for different people although I am very sceptical about groups for people with mental health problems, up to a certain point I think they can help but its not always a good idea to be surrounded by depressed people.
Some people seem to respond better to these treatments than others I think I probably just got over my black cloud in my own time by just plugging on. I dont think theres any method available in the world for depression that you can just give to someone to fix all their problems especially when it's being caused by your environment or situation you are in and you cant get out of it.
Best thing you can do for your friend is offer her your support (only listening, do nothing for her its useless!). As long as she knows all the options available to her and she has people to listen. She might have her own blask cloud for a long time yet or she might just gather a bit of clarity of her own and then one day BLING its all starts to make sense and starts to get easier!!
Thats what I feel from my personal experience anyway! Best of luck!
Sex God
Tune wrote:
Just to clear up a point, anyone who goes to a self-help group of any sort would not need to reveal which medication they were on, except to the organisers, in confidence. Medication is prescribed by their GP or Community Psychiatric Nurse (if they have one), and is of course a confidential matter. So self-help group members could be on anti-depressants, but nobody would know, and the help provided in the groups has nothing at all to do with medication.
Mike.
I know someone who had a good friend who insisted they went to a local self-help group. The one in Cardiff was called 'Walkfree' - it was a real comfort and I guess didn't entail anti-depressants.
Just to clear up a point, anyone who goes to a self-help group of any sort would not need to reveal which medication they were on, except to the organisers, in confidence. Medication is prescribed by their GP or Community Psychiatric Nurse (if they have one), and is of course a confidential matter. So self-help group members could be on anti-depressants, but nobody would know, and the help provided in the groups has nothing at all to do with medication.
Mike.
The SAD thing interests me... I LOVE the early morning light, and today there is barely any which means that winter is coming and I should soon be miserable in the morning. :cry:
Last year I bought a Dawn Simulator - an alarm clock which uses light, in a gradual way, to wake the body up naturally. I was VERY sceptical about this solution and resisted it strongly until I felt unable to cope with another long winter without light. The result was amazing... I woke each morning alert and refreshed and to light... now, it may well be a placebo effect but I don't care, it worked. Last winter was the 'best' winter for many a long dark year and I sailed through it. :P :P :P
Last year I bought a Dawn Simulator - an alarm clock which uses light, in a gradual way, to wake the body up naturally. I was VERY sceptical about this solution and resisted it strongly until I felt unable to cope with another long winter without light. The result was amazing... I woke each morning alert and refreshed and to light... now, it may well be a placebo effect but I don't care, it worked. Last winter was the 'best' winter for many a long dark year and I sailed through it. :P :P :P
My mother was a martyr to depression. 
The important things to remember are:
A) Distance yourself emotionally from the sufferer and look at the problem from a practical point of view.
B) People suffering from depression WILL get over it eventually as depression is cyclical and often has roots in chemical imbalance. Drugs will help speed the process, but often they bring on further physical and mental complications.
C) Never forget to neglect other aspects neccessary to normal function such as diet and exercise. Get them out off the sofa and doing a fun run! Make them eat something new each day...
Depression needs to be separated from emotional issues. It's one of the easiest illnesses to fix and just requires a bit of lateral thinking
Hxx
The important things to remember are:
A) Distance yourself emotionally from the sufferer and look at the problem from a practical point of view.
B) People suffering from depression WILL get over it eventually as depression is cyclical and often has roots in chemical imbalance. Drugs will help speed the process, but often they bring on further physical and mental complications.
C) Never forget to neglect other aspects neccessary to normal function such as diet and exercise. Get them out off the sofa and doing a fun run! Make them eat something new each day...
Depression needs to be separated from emotional issues. It's one of the easiest illnesses to fix and just requires a bit of lateral thinking
Hxx
My dad has been suffering from a big bout of depression and finally after about 15 months we can all see light at the end of the tunnel. He takes anti depressants and to be honest they have literally saved his life, those and an excellent GP who took the time to sit and listen to him. The problem he has now is weaning the dose down, and in the frame of mind he is in I can't see a problem with that, but again it will be a long hard struggle, maybe another 15 months, but at least we can see my dad 'back to normal' again, whatever that may be 
Jags - someone who I work with bought one of those sunrise lamp thingies you got for the very same reason as you, and she felt 100 times better after using it, so maybe it's not the placebo effect after all.. :D
ccr xxxx
Jags - someone who I work with bought one of those sunrise lamp thingies you got for the very same reason as you, and she felt 100 times better after using it, so maybe it's not the placebo effect after all.. :D
ccr xxxx
Quote by ccr
My dad has been suffering from a big bout of depression and finally after about 15 months we can all see light at the end of the tunnel. He takes anti depressants and to be honest they have literally saved his life, those and an excellent GP who took the time to sit and listen to him. The problem he has now is weaning the dose down, and in the frame of mind he is in I can't see a problem with that, but again it will be a long hard struggle, maybe another 15 months, but at least we can see my dad 'back to normal' again, whatever that may be
Jags - someone who I work with bought one of those sunrise lamp thingies you got for the very same reason as you, and she felt 100 times better after using it, so maybe it's not the placebo effect after all.. :D
ccr xxxx
im, happy for ya
My mother was a martyr to depression.
The important things to remember are:
A) Distance yourself emotionally from the sufferer and look at the problem from a practical point of view.
B) People suffering from depression WILL get over it eventually as depression is cyclical and often has roots in chemical imbalance. Drugs will help speed the process, but often they bring on further physical and mental complications.
C) Never forget to neglect other aspects neccessary to normal function such as diet and exercise. Get them out off the sofa and doing a fun run! Make them eat something new each day...
Depression needs to be separated from emotional issues. It's one of the easiest illnesses to fix and just requires a bit of lateral thinking
Hxx[/quote
JESUS!!
What's everyone moaning about eh!!
If its that easy to fix whys there so many people suffering now?
I myself suffer with depression from time to time due to long term illness.
Ive known afew people that sufferd with depression they ended up killing themselfs if only i'd of told them to do a fun run and eat something new eh!
You need to have an open mind and understanding with people who suffer with depression and friends and family maynot be the best people to help as you can be to close and if the depression goes on and on people closest loose faith and feel helpless.
Depression is bought on by many things and what may seem small to one it could be the end of the world to the depresed its not easy to motivate someone who suffers its takes time and one step forward may result in two steps back this can go on for some time.
Ok rant over
Foxylady123 i do hope your friend gets help but remeber they have to do it at there own pace and not force into anything.
Good Luck.
Redshift.
The important things to remember are:
A) Distance yourself emotionally from the sufferer and look at the problem from a practical point of view.
B) People suffering from depression WILL get over it eventually as depression is cyclical and often has roots in chemical imbalance. Drugs will help speed the process, but often they bring on further physical and mental complications.
C) Never forget to neglect other aspects neccessary to normal function such as diet and exercise. Get them out off the sofa and doing a fun run! Make them eat something new each day...
Depression needs to be separated from emotional issues. It's one of the easiest illnesses to fix and just requires a bit of lateral thinking
Hxx[/quote
JESUS!!
What's everyone moaning about eh!!
If its that easy to fix whys there so many people suffering now?
I myself suffer with depression from time to time due to long term illness.
Ive known afew people that sufferd with depression they ended up killing themselfs if only i'd of told them to do a fun run and eat something new eh!
You need to have an open mind and understanding with people who suffer with depression and friends and family maynot be the best people to help as you can be to close and if the depression goes on and on people closest loose faith and feel helpless.
Depression is bought on by many things and what may seem small to one it could be the end of the world to the depresed its not easy to motivate someone who suffers its takes time and one step forward may result in two steps back this can go on for some time.
Ok rant over
Foxylady123 i do hope your friend gets help but remeber they have to do it at there own pace and not force into anything.
Good Luck.
Redshift.
Quote by Heather
C) Never forget to neglect other aspects neccessary to normal function such as diet and exercise. Get them out off the sofa and doing a fun run! Make them eat something new each day...
Depression needs to be separated from emotional issues. It's one of the easiest illnesses to fix and just requires a bit of lateral thinking
Hxx
you were spot on with A B and C Heather, but C has to be the best advice.
I suffered really badly a couple of years ago, and although i still get low spots, it was v that kept me going out, getting plenty of sunshine and forcing me to get out of the chair. and if she hadn't, the downwards spiral would have got out of control, she wrapped me in cottonwool to a degree, but also prodded me with an iron poker every now and again to make me realise i was still on earth.
Any advice on these things needs to be listened to willingly, without force but every scrap is worth it. good luck, but as heather also added, it does require lateral thinking and friends to guide you to the light at the end of the tunnel.
(i never expected my first post to be so serious! - hello
) As a fellow depression sufferer, I know first hand that depression can cloud your judgement. Both my Health Visitor and GP urged me to take anti-depressants because they could see how much I was suffering, but because I had felt that way for such a long time, it just felt like the norm. Along with the stigma that surrounds taking anti-depressants, I refused and after alot of persuasion, I gave in and took them.
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and in the long run she will thank you.
Depression is not an illness that goes away after taking a packet of pills and with the support of those around her who care and love her, she will gradually get better.
Best wishes to her xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and in the long run she will thank you.
Depression is not an illness that goes away after taking a packet of pills and with the support of those around her who care and love her, she will gradually get better.
Best wishes to her xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks everyone, not just those who have psoted here but also those who have sent me pms.
I hope ive replied to all the pms, but if ive missed anyone i appologise.
I will update you about my friend when there is anything new to tell
Once again thanks everyone, you know there really are some nice people here!!
xxxx
I hope ive replied to all the pms, but if ive missed anyone i appologise.
I will update you about my friend when there is anything new to tell
Once again thanks everyone, you know there really are some nice people here!!
xxxx
I can talk from experience, as I've had severe clinical depression - I was hardly existing, let alone living. Eventually I had to be admitted to hospital as antidepressants weren't working for me, and was persuaded (with considerable reluctance!) to agree to a course of ECT. I can only described the results as amazing, as in a couple of weeks I had a healthy appetite, was taking care of my appearance again, and taking an interest in the world around me.
No two people are exactly the same - some may recover naturally, some may need antidepressants, and some (like me) may need hospitalization for their own good or interventions such as ECT. The good news is that most will make a full recovery, though will often need help to do so. I certainly could not have "snapped out of it" if I had been told to do so!
No two people are exactly the same - some may recover naturally, some may need antidepressants, and some (like me) may need hospitalization for their own good or interventions such as ECT. The good news is that most will make a full recovery, though will often need help to do so. I certainly could not have "snapped out of it" if I had been told to do so!
ECT sounds scary 
Natural Anti -Depressants which apparently work are St Johns Wort and Echinacea. Tried them both although cant say for sure if they worked because I never took them regular enough. Available at most helath food shops though and I have heard from others they can be very effective!
Natural Anti -Depressants which apparently work are St Johns Wort and Echinacea. Tried them both although cant say for sure if they worked because I never took them regular enough. Available at most helath food shops though and I have heard from others they can be very effective!
Sex God
Quote by VenusnMars
St Johns Wort is something many people have used, but it can interact badly with other medications (Seroxat was one of them I think), so must be run past your doctor first.
Venusxxx
IIRC St Johns Wort also affects the pill so it may be worthwhile asking your doctor that as well.
IMHO St. Johns Wort shouldn't be so readily available over the counter. It's quite a powerfull drug and should be used under advisement.
Can't speak for recent methods, but our experience of ECT was that it caused more problems than it solved. Mum had immediately suffered short term memory loss and some parts of her memory never came back.
I am certainly grateful that no one I know of right now suffers from clinical depression. Maybe a few of my friends are down in the dumps.
As we've seen, the subject of depression cause a variety of reactions. Some folks get angry, frustrated or feel helpless when they're linked to someone with it. I found my way of coping after many years of watching Mum go through it. And I wouldn't say being related to someone with it makes you a bad person to listen to as I've seen and been through every kind of quack fix they care to try.
'Tis the nature of the beast...It takes time for the brain to cave in and start fucking with the body's chemistry, so it follows it takes time to put it right. Also, people with clinical depression most often can't see just how bad they are. They get get cacooned into universe where they are the only inhabitant and become defensive about the intervention of loved ones and doctors. Quite simply, they won't listen to advice... Most often, it's a chemical imbalance and it IS easily fixed given time to find the problem and remedy it. One one occasion Bananas did the trick. Mum was apparantly low on potasium. It's strange that we here or see nothing of depression in countries where foodstuffs aren't fucked with left right and centre...
Anyway... best of luck to everyone dealing with this problem right now.
Hxx
I am certainly grateful that no one I know of right now suffers from clinical depression. Maybe a few of my friends are down in the dumps.
As we've seen, the subject of depression cause a variety of reactions. Some folks get angry, frustrated or feel helpless when they're linked to someone with it. I found my way of coping after many years of watching Mum go through it. And I wouldn't say being related to someone with it makes you a bad person to listen to as I've seen and been through every kind of quack fix they care to try.
If its that easy to fix whys there so many people suffering now?
'Tis the nature of the beast...It takes time for the brain to cave in and start fucking with the body's chemistry, so it follows it takes time to put it right. Also, people with clinical depression most often can't see just how bad they are. They get get cacooned into universe where they are the only inhabitant and become defensive about the intervention of loved ones and doctors. Quite simply, they won't listen to advice... Most often, it's a chemical imbalance and it IS easily fixed given time to find the problem and remedy it. One one occasion Bananas did the trick. Mum was apparantly low on potasium. It's strange that we here or see nothing of depression in countries where foodstuffs aren't fucked with left right and centre...
Anyway... best of luck to everyone dealing with this problem right now.
Hxx
Sex God
Quote by Heather
'Tis the nature of the beast...It takes time for the brain to cave in and start fucking with the body's chemistry, so it follows it takes time to put it right. Also, people with clinical depression most often can't see just how bad they are. They get get cacooned into universe where they are the only inhabitant and become defensive about the intervention of loved ones and doctors. Quite simply, they won't listen to advice... Most often, it's a chemical imbalance and it IS easily fixed given time to find the problem and remedy it. One one occasion Bananas did the trick. Mum was apparantly low on potasium. It's strange that we here or see nothing of depression in countries where foodstuffs aren't fucked with left right and centre...
Anyway... best of luck to everyone dealing with this problem right now.
Hxx
Very true Heather, but it's not always the case of it being a chemical inbalance (as you've mentioned). Part of the problem is that you go to the doctors saying that you feel tired, listless etc and he says "Oh you're depressed. Here's some pills, now off you go like a good little patient".
I'm sorry but that's complete bollocks. We're too caught up in how wonderful modern medicine is and how we can cure anything with a pill. We can't. All the pill does is mask the symptoms (at best and if you're luck, without any side effects). There's no attempt at taking a holistic view and trying to find out WHY the person in depressed unless they become so depressed they become a danger to themselves or others.
I strongly believe that
a) People should be medically treated as individuals and not just all lumped in together and
b) Doctors (and society), should get out of this rut of thinking that we can clasify everyone into a neat little pidgeonhole. OK this works with things like infections, but when they come to things like peoples minds, they just don't have the experience or the training. I'm sorry but a psychiatrist has to go through med school and then specialise in psychiatry before they are let anywhere near the drugs and the patients, yet a GP can prescribe soome pretty powerfull stuff on the basis of attending a 2 day seminar in mental health
.If there's anyone here who's a GP then I do appologise (if not then Pfffft who cares
) I'm not trying to belittle what you do, I just feel that given the amount of money we as individuals pump into this nation either knowingly or unknowingly we should be able to expect to see someone in healthcare who specialises in the particular affliction we happen to be suffering from without the GP having to worry if the books will balance at the end of the year.<<goes off in Neilinleeds-esque right old strop>>
